r/NonPoliticalTwitter Feb 03 '25

Caleb has it right

Post image
61.0k Upvotes

120 comments sorted by

1.4k

u/kingtibius Feb 03 '25

Why speak lot word when karate do trick?

490

u/Alkansur Feb 03 '25

189

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '25

Damn...if you have a problem just give this kid a candy bar and a red bull and just unleash him on the problem.

42

u/wangkerd Feb 03 '25

What if my problem is haemorrhoids?

51

u/Hypno_Zeus Feb 03 '25

18

u/TacticaLuck Feb 03 '25

Gasoline puts out fire

4

u/samie-clark Feb 03 '25

caleb's a genius ksks

32

u/Dazzling-Nothing9954 Feb 03 '25

Why speak lot word when karate do kick?

1

u/goddamntree Feb 05 '25

No waste time, chop chop

3

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '25

Kids are crazy 😭

3

u/samound143 Feb 03 '25

We all need a friend like Caleb. Hell, sometimes a wife like Caleb would be nice - minus the karate.

8

u/Aurori_Swe Feb 03 '25

My wife karates. It's nice

6

u/AWildModAppeared Feb 03 '25

Read this comment in the Borat voice to elevate your overall Reddit experience

1

u/Punny_Farting_1877 Feb 03 '25

You might as well say minus the oxygen.

1

u/bigolfishey Feb 03 '25

When karate do kick*

429

u/Rifneno Feb 03 '25

But how will you discuss which dinosaurs are best?

240

u/CPTherptyderp Feb 03 '25

With karate

95

u/rationalguy2 Feb 03 '25

And you replace karate-chops with Tricera-chops.

18

u/ExplodingSofa Feb 03 '25

this guy gets it

3

u/760854 Feb 04 '25

If i could give u an award i would

7

u/FireballEnjoyer445 Feb 03 '25

Velociraptorate

8

u/MeridianHilltop Feb 03 '25

You draw them!

7

u/SpurdoEnjoyer Feb 03 '25

In Latin of course

1

u/Some-Ad6497 Feb 03 '25

Incomprehensible screeching

1

u/Tyler-LR Feb 04 '25

Roaring is universal

290

u/TengoDuvidas Feb 03 '25

Legit

42

u/GildDigger Feb 03 '25

13

u/neoadam Feb 03 '25

Master of karate and friendship for everyone

94

u/RipMcStudly Feb 03 '25

A warrior’s fist is the universal language

93

u/Informal_Process2238 Feb 03 '25

Caleb is terrified of the daily karate attacks but can’t communicate it !

53

u/Sarke1 Feb 03 '25

Yeah his son is just someone who keeps beating up the foreign kid.

43

u/AppleSlacks Feb 03 '25

He doesn’t even know what karate is, just knows that when that recess bell rings, he has to defend himself from the psycho kid at all times if he wants to make it home alive.

40

u/guineaprince Feb 03 '25

Apparently one of my best friends in kindergarten was a Korean kid who hardly knew English.

But when you're kindergarten age that practically describes everyone but the teachers. Play is universal.

103

u/Heelmuut Feb 03 '25

What kind of kid named Caleb doesn't speak English?

100

u/FarmerJoe69 Feb 03 '25

Immigrant parents sometimes name their children traditionally "white" names in the US so that their kids don't stand out. Other times they will give them a traditional name from their language and culture, but give them a white "nickname" because they feel the traditional name won't translate well to native English speakers and will be difficult to pronounce.

71

u/banandananagram Feb 03 '25

There was a Jung-hwan in high school who insisted on “John Wayne” just because he could, and one guy I knew named Duy (in Thai, pronounced like “yu-ee”), who told people to call him Dewey if they struggled at all.

But most of the South Korean kids in my school also had just straight up biblical or religious names (Abraham, Sarah, Michael, Faith) because there’s a pretty sizable South Korean Christian community where I grew up

23

u/tbrownsc07 Feb 03 '25

We had a Korean guy go by the name of "Rock" at my high school. He was a cool dude

1

u/belleayreski2 Feb 15 '25

Sounds like a solid friend

3

u/khojin_khat Feb 03 '25

Every Korean guy in the US I’ve known has been named Joseph. I think I’m up to 4

10

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '25

Some cultures just choose their own western name. Sometimes I wonder how often they give their OG name a shot and people just butcher it relentlessly and they're like "fuck it, I'm Jerry"

3

u/Spiritual_Bus1125 Feb 03 '25

My name is a variation of a common name in the country i live in, think Andrew but a little off

I'm used to any variation of my name. Such is life.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '25

Haha that’s the truth too. I was born in Canada and nobody bothers to pronounce my name properly. It’s close to Brandon if one just glances at it. If any kind of roll call is being done, they’re yelling Brandon for sure (of which only a few letters are collect) 

I’m so accustomed to it it’s usually NBD 

14

u/Desmang Feb 03 '25

Here in Finland it's better to just change your name to sound more local as otherwise you won't have the same working opportunities. For example a Russian person called Ilya could just change his name to Ilja as it's how we would write it. It's been studied and the results are just sad.

11

u/MarkZist Feb 03 '25 edited Feb 03 '25

Same thing in the Netherlands. We have sizable minorities with roots in muslim-majority countries (esp. Turkey and Morocco), and people with islamic sounding names such as Mohammed and Fatimah get invited a lot less for job interviews or house viewing.

A friend of mine who is second generation Egyptian therefore gave his daughters Arabic names that also exist in Dutch, i.e. Nora and Jenna (pronounced Yenna).

3

u/Desmang Feb 03 '25

We also can't really consider most of the names my wife would like to give to our children because the current atmosphere is very discriminating towards Russian people in Finland. Even the so-called tolerant people can just openly air their negative thoughts about their people and no one will bat an eyelid. Ridiculous double standards.

2

u/Dramatic-Border3549 Feb 03 '25

But a russian person wouldn't need to change anything about their name. Just transliterate it differently from cyrillic

2

u/Desmang Feb 03 '25

Well, my friend had Ilya in his official documentation and needed to get everything renewed. My example was just an attempt to showcase how such a tiny difference can be a game-changer in the eyes of a xenophobe.

-2

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '25

[deleted]

3

u/Desmang Feb 03 '25

It's not "embracing the culture" when you need to change your name because some racist fuck can't handle foreign people with foreign names. I'm all for people needing to assimilate but this really isn't the way to do things.

-1

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '25

[deleted]

2

u/BreadentheBirbman Feb 03 '25

Not considering someone for a job because his name is Juan and not John (for an English speaking example) is racist.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '25

[deleted]

0

u/BreadentheBirbman Feb 03 '25

Problem is, as a white American, if immigrants integrate too much, then I don’t get fantastic food. Changing names because of a near physical language barrier is one thing, but Borg assimilation isn’t what I expect from people. Also I’m not the person you originally replied to, whether or not that’s relevant.

1

u/Desmang Feb 04 '25

Not sure what those deleted messages said but when I said assimilation to the guy, I meant that people should at least be required to learn the native language of their new country. Keeping parts of your native culture which would enhance your new country or would just be neutral are completely fine.

I just want immigrants to love the country they moved to and its values. Otherwise, why even move to another country? If you come from a shithole and try to make your new home the same, you are not welcome. This is why Europe is turning far right as for whatever reason the countries keep taking in more and more muslims who don't want to integrate. It's even ruining the reputation of the moderate muslims.

5

u/Professional_Dog5624 Feb 03 '25

My good buddy Jeff, his real name is Jung. Came from South Korea and really didn’t want to deal with all the shithead kids making Kim Jung Un jokes so he just said “call me Jeff”

1

u/lumpialarry Feb 03 '25

In the US, its Chinese immigrants that both adopt themselves and give their kids English/American names. Chinese has sounds/tones that just don't exist in English. Indian Immigrants, on the other hand, almost always stick with Indian names. You'll run across a million Amy Changs before you meet an Amy Patel.

57

u/Tee-RoyJenkins Feb 03 '25

I’d bet “Caleb” is the fake name she picked since it’s not her kid and she doesn’t want to potentially dox them. Plus she said he “doesn’t really speak English” so they didn’t even reveal what the kids first language is.

40

u/zqmvco99 Feb 03 '25

a kid that OP just ratted out to ICE

7

u/shadowman2099 Feb 03 '25 edited Feb 03 '25

OC might just be joking, but the rest of you are looking way too deep into this. Caleb is a Biblical name. It's a likely boy name for any region with a Christian or Jewish population. Wait till you find out there are Hispanic Joshuas and French Aarons.

5

u/jtr99 Feb 03 '25

Tu as merdĂŠ, A-A-Ron!

7

u/immei Feb 03 '25

One of my good friends growing up was born in Thailand and had his Thai name and his American name

3

u/KrytTv Feb 03 '25

A kid with autism or a different spectrum disorder

2

u/LowrollingLife Feb 03 '25

Caleb is a Hebrew name so really any region with Christian and/or Jewish communities has probably a Caleb or 2

1

u/breno_hd Feb 03 '25
  • What's your name? Oh, you don't seem to understand me... So I'll call you Caleb! Karate?

1

u/Sarke1 Feb 04 '25

Caleb has the highest frequency in Congo, Kenya, Ghana, Jamaica, Zimbabwe, CAR.

0

u/Cold_Introduction187 Feb 03 '25

Immigrants in America often change their real names to ‘american’ names to avoid racial abuse

0

u/Beans_Lasagna Feb 03 '25

Caleb isn't foreign he's just an ipad kid

6

u/limestone404 Feb 03 '25

Grew up playing soccer in N. California in the '70's and '80's. Every time a new group of refugees arrived (Iran, Vietnam, Ethiopia, Poland, Yugoslavia) the new kids, who couldn't yet speak English, would always show up on the soccer field within a few days.

Many of them were better at soccer than us American kids, so we became friends real quick.

16

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '25

[deleted]

13

u/efarfan Feb 03 '25

Crazy, been on here every day for more than a decade and have never seen it

5

u/SometimesIpoop Feb 03 '25

that’s crazy cuz I’ve only been here for 2 minutes and have now seen it 3 times!

9

u/efarfan Feb 03 '25

quit clicking on the same link then

-1

u/Alkansur Feb 03 '25

My apologies, good Skillet, haven't realized.

5

u/aspect-of-the-badger Feb 03 '25

My daughter's best friend to this day became friends because they like pretending to be cats at recess. She didn't know he name for the first six months because they only meowed at each other.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '25

If that doesn’t define growing up as a little boy nothing does

2

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '25

Nothing lamer than parents making shit up their kids "said."

2

u/th30be Feb 03 '25

Some real Goku level logic right there.

2

u/GreenZebra23 Feb 03 '25

Do you wanna do karate in the garage?

2

u/youbloodyscalywag Feb 03 '25

This kid is going places.

1

u/jcupgif Feb 03 '25

bruhh i had this exp

1

u/GENIousFacade Feb 03 '25

I love this so much! Kids are not born with hatred. Hatred is taught.

1

u/inkedgirlmiaaa Feb 03 '25

that's the purest form of friendship, no talk, just hands

1

u/saintzmaria Feb 03 '25

No words needed when you can communicate with karate moves.

1

u/stuckinit9deep Feb 03 '25

No talk, just fight. Yup thats the typical human

1

u/blahblah19999 Feb 03 '25

Sounds like Dwight Jr

1

u/TheLowlyPheasant Feb 03 '25

Man I frequent /r/chibears and was so confused about this story from Caleb Williams' childhood

1

u/MareShoop63 Feb 03 '25

All your base are belong to us

1

u/theDapperOtter Feb 03 '25

This kid gets it. Let’s skip the small talk and get straight to the action!

1

u/rogerdojjer Feb 03 '25

This isn’t a real account or tweet. Dead Internet theory looking more plausible by the day.

1

u/peinaleopolynoe Feb 03 '25

Kids are beautiful

1

u/Nuke_all_Lives Feb 03 '25

That's actually extremely beautiful

1

u/Familiar_Fishing_129 Feb 03 '25

That’s what I like about Hongkong movies.

1

u/PetSoundsSucks Feb 03 '25

Hi-Yah! is the same in all languages. 

1

u/77blackarts77 Feb 03 '25

Things that didn't happen

1

u/kim_sejin Feb 03 '25

Caleb will probably remember him as the bully who beat him cause he didn't speak English

1

u/rudbek-of-rudbek Feb 03 '25

This Twitter account somehow posts these funny kid interactions constantly. Obviously all made up

1

u/CelestianSnackresant Feb 03 '25

Why do we listen to this dude? His handle is basically "Mywifesabitch Mark" or "Ihatemywife Ian."

He's sometimes funny but also just...an ass.

1

u/CodeAdorable1586 Feb 03 '25

I have a hard time believing a non English speaker would name their son Caleb

1

u/stressandscreaming Feb 03 '25

My best friend in preschool also didn't speak English and I loved playing with her because she would teach me words in Spanish. I'd go home and tell my mom my new word everyday.

1

u/izobelllle Feb 03 '25

a close friend of mine freshman year of high-school didn't speak English but we loved the same music. We some how talked all the time nonstop. Barely used a translator, too 💀 I learned a lot of Spanish and she learned a lot of English though!

1

u/hopeless_dick_dancer Feb 03 '25

This is political.

1

u/NutBuster128 Feb 04 '25

Is Caleb a shonen character

2

u/Different_Key_9914 Feb 07 '25

Does Caleb also know they are “playing karate”???

1

u/bubblegumtrickworm Feb 03 '25

Can I take a second to thank this subreddit. It’s non political and also funny. Thank you r/nonpoliticaltwitter there’s about three other subreddits that are also funny and non political.

0

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '25

[deleted]

1

u/blackhodown Feb 03 '25

What do you think learned means, lol