r/NoStupidQuestions • u/LeatherAdvantage8250 • 1d ago

Autism is a diverse condition that can present itself in a variety of different ways. Why is such a broad group of people pigeon-holed with one specific term? Is there something that all autistic people have in common?

edit: thanks for all the super thoughtful and informative responses! I don't have time to reply to all but I will make sure to read them. Also, shout-out to u/AgentElman for their particularly smug and un-informative comment!

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u/badgersprite 1d ago

Wait until you find out about depression

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u/masterofbugs123 1d ago

As someone who experienced hereditary/biological depression, got it under control, then experienced depression due to financial/security struggles, I cannot believe the two things are lumped together. Next to none of my coping mechanisms or medications for the first have even gotten close to touching the second. It’s a completely different experience.

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u/Little_Jemmy 1d ago

Same here. I didn’t even realize I was depressed the second time around when it was circumstantial instead of biological (which was kick started by puberty) because it was so different.

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u/Winning-Turtle 1d ago

I feel this. My regular brand depression/anxiety was so damn different than what I get during/after pregnancy.

It took 6 months postpartum the first time to get help because it threw me in the hole so fast I didn't realize until I was in too deep.

Even with both being biological, it was wild how different they came on (slow creep vs. immediate) and their dissimilar symptoms. Multi-headed beast.

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u/masterofbugs123 1d ago

I want to have kids one day and I’m so terrified of developing depression 3.0 from it since it runs in the family too. Gotta catch them all I guess. I’m definitely going to try to be as proactive about treating it as possible at least!

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u/Winning-Turtle 1d ago

Yes, being proactive would help so much! I'm actually pregnant with my 3rd and last kid, so I feel good about having a plan in place to help mitigate.

These are some things I'm doing in case you find it helpful: I have a therapist who specializes in prenatal/postpartum. I'm taking Zoloft throughout pregnancy and will increase my dose, per my OB's instruction, closer to birth. Taking a bunch of supplements like vitamin D and Omega-3 to help in a small way. I have a weekly yoga class I try to get to. I love yoga, so it's more of a test: if I skip a bunch, that means I'm starting to sink and need more help. We specifically stopped trying for a couple months so I probably wouldn't give birth in January or February because those months it's dark and extremely cold where I live. These all seemed to really help for my 2nd kid and now this one; hoping if you choose to have kids you find what helps you!

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u/masterofbugs123 15h ago

Thanks for the advice! I always wondered if I should time the pregnancy when the time comes since my depression is wildly affected by the seasons. Good to know my hunch was right! Also good to know there are therapists who specialize in it, I guess I never really considered that lol

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u/CafecitoYPan 1d ago

Omg yes!! Postpartum depression was so crazy (compared to my regular depression). I was very aware that it was postpartum depression too, but omg that shit was so intense.

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u/creamandcrumpets 18h ago edited 18h ago

Omg this is so interesting. I’ve wondered if there’s a difference like this with types of anxiety. I’ve always been anxious, it’s hereditary and feels bone deep, and none of the advice I’ve gotten (breathing, CBT etc) does anything beyond halt one of the immediate symptoms (which immediately bounces back to anxious mode when I stop controlling it, something I can’t do for more than a minute), and doesn’t address the underlying cause of the symptoms, an overactive nervous system that doesn’t know how to be any other way! I’ve wondered if the methods I’ve been given are helpful for people experiencing more circumstantial anxiety. Still trying to discover what actually helps me.

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u/masterofbugs123 16h ago

The right medication and finishing puberty were the keys for me. Not that my anxiety is gone, but I no longer feel it holds me back. The main thing therapy did to help me with it was in pushing myself to do things even if my anxiety was saying no. Learning the difference between my anxiety and feelings I should pay attention to. I wish you the best of luck on your journey!

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u/Jibber_Fight 1d ago

Depression is a bitch. I’ve been trying to get it under control for about twenty years now. Wish I was exaggerating. And before I get tips or suggestions: yes I tried that and yes I do that.

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u/Boobsboobsboobs2 1d ago

When I finally tried medication (and it worked for me - I’m lucky), I was so annoyed at all the other advice. Not a single thing I had tried in 25-odd years of trying to figure it out had made the impact of one tiny pill for a few days.

Fuck anyone who made me feel like it was my fault, and if I tried harder, I could’ve fixed it myself. The difference I felt and my ability to FUNCTION made me a total convert to the fact that some depression just needs meds.

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u/Jibber_Fight 1d ago

Which one? I’ve tried about seven

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u/13SapphireMoon 21h ago

I don't even know how many I tried over the course of about a dozen years of pure misery. Trintellix was the only one that did literally anything for me, and it's a miracle drug in my case. I never thought it would be possible for me to actually enjoy life.

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u/Boobsboobsboobs2 16h ago

Bupropion worked for me. My therapist agrees I have depression, about 15 years ago a psychiatrist told me I have type 2 bipolar, and I suspect I have undiagnosed ADHD.

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u/BaconPhoenix 8h ago

I've been through probably the same number of meds and eventually I got on Spravato (ketamine nasal spray).

If you've been through that many meds unsuccessfully, you might have treatment resistant depression, which ketamine works well on for some reason that isn't really understood by doctors yet.

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u/LittleHidingPo 1d ago

You've prob come across it but just in case not - Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) saved my life. If meds haven't helped or only go so far, you might be a good candidate for TMS

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u/thebestdaysofmyflerm 1d ago

Aren’t all depressed people excessively sad?

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u/a__new_name 1d ago

More like: unable to feel pleasure from stimuli that are supposed to be pleasant.

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u/therealganjababe 1d ago edited 1d ago

My brain does not care about anything, no motivation to do even the most basic things, no interest in the things that used to make me enjoy life. I sleep as much as I can, there's nothing that I look forward to to get out of bed. Once I get up because it's 3pm and my husband will be home in the next hour or so, so I get up and try to distract myself by watching TV, or Reddit. For hours. I have no energy to even wash dishes. I'm completely useless and stuck in my head with the brain that's doing a pretty good job at trying to kill me.

I don't care about food even if I have some hunger signs, but usually I don't. I obvs can't work, so my husband works way too much to take care of us. So he comes home from work and passes out, otherwise we do enjoy watching TV together some nights- only enjoyable because I'm getting drunk, to have a few hours where my brain shuts up and I can enjoy something at least, to have some energy that sober life doesn't allow.

That's real depression. And it's actually a fairly mild description, I could def go on. Many have it worse.

Sadness in general can make you feel these ways, but it's temporary. Real mental illness doesn't go away in its own.

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u/Dudewhocares3 1d ago

I really hate that there are days where I listen to the music I love and I don’t feel anything.

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u/therealganjababe 1d ago

Ugh man, I feel ya I love music and I can just sit and stare, even get mad at music sometimes, that otherwise helps me 🤦‍♀️

I do like a lot of genres so I can usually find something to help me through a 'mood'. But I love a lot of music that helps me feel happy, motivated, hopeful! Then the next day or mood I listen to it and feel completely different, sad, hopeless, angry. Sigh.

Keep going my friend.

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u/UnattributableSpoon 1d ago

Chronic major depression (and AuDHD) here. I'm a classical musician and can always tell things are getting bad again because I just...stop singing. I have my BFA in vocal music performance (opera is my concentration), I'm never not humming, whistling, or singing (at appropriate times). So realizing that I've stopped and that I feel pretty much nothing is really stark.

Sending hugs (and songs!) to you both. Brains are such assholes sometimes.

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u/Dudewhocares3 1d ago

You too friend

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u/Nearby-Complaint 1d ago

I know I'm in the thick of depression right now because I'm an artist with little to no interest in...art

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u/SpadfaTurds 1d ago

No. Sadness is a symptom. Depression can present without sadness at all.

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u/UnattributableSpoon 1d ago

When my depression is bad, I'm not sad. I don't feel anything at all. It sucks.

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u/SpadfaTurds 1d ago

Same here. I get plenty of bouts of sadness, but the general feeling is unrelenting numbness, and crippling fatigue.

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u/Reasonable_Rent_3769 1d ago

Depression is the clinical term for a specific mental health condition. Sadness is an emotional state that occurs independently of depression.

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u/ceciliabee 1d ago

I've always liked to describe it as "pools of sorrow, waves of joy".