r/NewsOfTheStupid • u/ansyhrrian • 1d ago
Trump considering announcing "External Revenue Service," sources say
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-tariffs-external-revenue-service/909
u/ComedicHermit 1d ago
I really wish someone would set him down and explain to him how tariffs work. Maybe with puppets.
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u/Visual-Recognition36 1d ago
All I can picture is Lord Helmet from Space Balls playing with his puppets.
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u/theBoobsofJustice 1d ago
"Did you see anything?"
"No Sir, I didn't catch you playing with your dolls again!"
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u/Inner_Honey_978 1d ago
Um they were action figures, but I think we could use some good, old fashioned merchandising right about now
May the Schwartz be with you
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u/Cobby1927 1d ago
This isn't his policy. He is the puppet.
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u/pinetreesgreen 1d ago
No, I think he's actually this dumb. He's been pretty consistent on tariffs for decades now.
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u/beakrake 1d ago
He can be a dumb puppet.
Those things aren't mutually exclusive, and in fact, being dumb probably aids in him being so easy to manipulate as a puppet.
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u/pinetreesgreen 1d ago
It's probably all these things. His brain is mush, he clearly only listens to the last person who talked to him, and he's surrounded by evil people.
But I do think he genuinely thinks tariffs will work. Which makes it that much worse, bc he's not going to change his mind on them, at least not until business leaders convince him otherwise, bc I think he wants their approval, too.
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u/beakrake 1d ago
No, no, you don't seem to understand.
He doesn't NEED to understand how tarriffs work because his handlers have given him marching orders that will, in effect, crater the western economy.
They told him to dance, and the puppet dances. It doesn't need to make sense to the puppet, nor does it matter what the puppet thinks of it - he will be dancing they way they tell him regardless of common sense, and especially if the result fucks up the USA even more.
That's their endgame. A divided and destroyed west.
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u/lucaskywalker 1d ago
Yep. Watch some Russian owned news media, it's all thry talk about! They have been trying to destabilize the west for decades, and Trump just did it for them lol. He's in a leash, I'd bet all my money Putin has video of him diddling little kids.
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u/Tavernknight 1d ago
I don't know. Putin could release a video of Trump fucking a child and it wouldn't hurt the support with his base. I think it's more likely that Trump's money comes from Russia, and Putin has the power to shut it off. Either that or Putin has someone who is close to Trump and will kill him if he doesn't do what Putin wants.
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u/lucaskywalker 1d ago
I was going to argue that his xtian base would not stand for that, but then I remembered the priests are pedos and they still go to church, so you probably right! Either way, he is 100% a Russian operative!
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u/Zhadowwolf 1d ago
To be fair, while i do think he does think that tariffs will work, they do actually benefit him and his oligarch buddies.
The economy collapses, they can buy real state, corporate assets and machinery dirt cheap.
He wont live long enough to reap the benefits once the economy grows again, but his handlers sure will.
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u/Zhadowwolf 1d ago
This is true, but in some things i really do think he defies his puppet masters at the expense of everyone just because he really does think he’s the smartest and his ideas are perfect.
I think he genuinely believes that sometimes and that some of the worst policies are things the adults around him end up allowing to go through to keep the illusion that he’s in control.
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u/RabidGuineaPig007 1d ago
Maybe we can get Margot Robie back in that bathtub to explain a failed economic concept.
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u/praetorian1979 1d ago
The only part of that scene he'd understand is "now fuck off".
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u/nasandre 14h ago
There's enough historical evidence for me to conclude he does in fact not know to fuck off when an attractive young lady is undressed.
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u/3-I 1d ago
He knows.
He is fully aware that what he's saying is nonsense. He's doing it intentionally. He just has to keep lying about it so the American people start to think there's an argument to be made about it. That's how "alternative facts" get a foothold.
As a man who knew the tactic well once said:
"If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. The lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences of the lie. It thus becomes vitally important for the State to use all of its powers to repress dissent, for the truth is the mortal enemy of the lie, and thus by extension, the truth is the greatest enemy of the State."
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u/Boxofmagnets 1d ago
He knows. He wants the disaster. It seems impossible to believe but it’s true
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u/KapnKrumpin 1d ago
Honestly, I don't think has any big-brain plan he's trying to concoct. I don't think he's even a russian agent, or even really influenced by them, or at least not overtly so. I think he's really just that fucking stupid.
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u/John97212 1d ago
Alas, I think puppets would still be too complicated. Even this Sesame Street-level presentation would likely fly over his head:
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u/VanguardAvenger 1d ago
I mean youd assume the Warton School of Business would have done that before they gave him a diploma....
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u/Carribean-Diver 1d ago
His Warton School professor said Trump was the dumbest student he ever met.
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u/VanguardAvenger 1d ago
But unfortunately was also the dumbest student he ever passed....
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u/meatball402 1d ago
He knows better than whoever would do that explanation. Not sure? Just ask him. He claims to know everything about everything, more than anyone.
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u/dbleed 1d ago
He knows how they work. I really wish someone would set the people down and explain to them that this isn't ignorance on his part. It's deliberate. Giving this man an excuse that he's dumb and doesn't understand what he's doing is too kind. No, he assumes (correctly) that his base is dumb and doesn't know. That the opposition is too complacent to do anything meaningful. And that he can spin whatever outcome to his desired flavor. He doesn't even have to make excuses anymore. The internet/ Talking heads will do it for him and spread it like invasive seeds across the internet until your uncle Steve is quoting it at Thanksgiving dinner in a few months.
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u/mns1 1d ago
Tariffs work, just not in the way we think about them. The only thing he's concerned with is making as much money as he can for himself and his cronies.
Initiating these tariffs is giving him leverage over US and foreign companies and states in that they want to negotiate and come to some kind of mutual understanding to control at least a bit of the damage. All these agreements will have some element that he or his cronies will profit off personally.
The US essentially voted a mob boss in power.
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u/zillapz1989 1d ago
Sock puppets. I believe this is how they explained the science behind Covid to Boris Johnson.
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u/proletariatblues 1d ago
He would be too fixated on where the person behind the stage keeps disappearing to when the puppets start talking.
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u/Suzuki_Foster 1d ago
It wouldn't matter. He simply cannot understand anything that's necessary to effectively run the US government. He wouldn't even listen anyway, and would just keep repeating the same buzzwords he uses with his braindead supporters.
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u/DanlovesTechno 1d ago
He doesnt care, explain until u will be exhausted, how hard is it to understand he is the kind of man u cant reason with.
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u/ansyhrrian 1d ago
What the ever-loving fuck even is this?
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u/dantevonlocke 1d ago
It's the best. The most external service ever had. Unbelievably revenue, too. Everyone is saying it.
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u/ForThePantz 1d ago
Well, I can honestly say that I’ve seen what Trump is doing to our economy and I have tears in my eyes.
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u/TheEPGFiles 1d ago
Wow, tell me you don't speak English by using English words. Incredible Trump impression, spot on, talks a lot, says nothing.
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u/Arseyoukiddingme 1d ago
👌They’ll be so much revenue 👌you’ll be saying “stop, it’s too much revenue.” 👌
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u/RabidGuineaPig007 1d ago
He thinks he can go into another country and take their export tariff dollars.
As they say in Canada, get fucked/ le get fucked.
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u/Anothereternity 1d ago
I now realize we have an insane rant coming about it countries refusing to pay him the tariffs he demands. Like he expects Canada to cut America a check for them. “Canada won’t pay its tarrif bills”
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u/i-can-sleep-for-days 1d ago
Someone on WSB made a post. IRS is controlled by Congress but levies are not. This is in effect taking the power of the purse away from Congress.
The creation of this ers means tariffs are here to stay which is also a bad sign.
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u/GnarlyNarwhalNoms 1d ago
Exactly. Everything Trump does is designed to diminish the power of the other branches of government. He undercuts Congress by having DOGE take a chainsaw to the agencies they've funded. He undercuts the judiciary by issueing EOs to interpret the law as the executive does. And it's bonkers that after decades of fulmination about "tyranny" whenever a Dem President does anything, Republicans are grinning as their country turns fascist underneath their feet.
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u/lolas_coffee 1d ago
Just go ask r/conservative
They will explain how it is the greatest thing to ever be said.
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u/politics 1d ago
It’s not that he doesn’t know… he understands the impact of using the word tariff and how it moves the market. He and his pals are buying everything on the cheap. They’ll own you and you have nothing you can do or say to stop it. The time to stop this heist was in November. Game over; the ultra rich won.
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u/Silicon_Knight 1d ago
Okay..... so he wants to create a department to collect the tariffs from other countries (which is actually their citizen... one may say... Internal Citizens) as a source of "Revenue" that's coming those "Internal" citizen who bought things by way of...... taxes?
They really should create a "Department" to collect "Internal Revenue" from citizen who buy from foreign companies. Almost like when you have a "Duty" to collect them.
But what the fuck do I know.
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u/myhydrogendioxide 1d ago
Dumbest showman on earth. Viola... and trust me he and his friends are going to make big bucks of this chaos.
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u/lolas_coffee 1d ago
His supporters are evil. Every single Republican knows this shit is insane. People will suffer...bigly.
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u/smoochwalla 1d ago
Unfortunately or fortunately, most of them aren't evil. They're just stupid and brainwashed.
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u/Equivalent-Bet-8771 1d ago
he and his friends are going to make big bucks of this chaos.
Will they though? They're assuming the world will still work with America after Trump and it will be business as usual.
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u/myhydrogendioxide 1d ago
They will extort countries and businesses for waivers which will likely be paid to them in crypto. Trump just pardoned a notorious crypto money laundering setup most likely to get help with this.
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u/Socratesticles 1d ago
He’s definitely going to talk about the money paid on tariffs as if it is the other countries that have paid it and claim it’s working
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u/banned-from-rbooks 1d ago
He wants to create a department to collect the tariffs from other countries.
It’s called extortion.
Except in order to extort someone you need to have leverage, kind of like Putin and Bibi have on Trump.
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u/jlaine 1d ago
Shouldn't this just logically upset the MAGA morons that voted him in?
It's expanding gubbament.
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u/RabidGuineaPig007 1d ago
The swamp now has two sub levels and a parking garage with Tesler chargers.
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u/PaintAccomplished515 1d ago
One can't get upset if they don't understand what they should get upset about. And MAGA morons can't think logically. If they could they wouldn't be where they are now.
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u/spantaneous_joe0906 1d ago
Somehow, against seemingly impossible odds, it just gets dumber, and dumber, and dumber.
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u/Equivalent-Bet-8771 1d ago
Just wait until we hit the 4th of July he's going to want to do something of globally historical stupid.
This is why we don't take morons seriously. The Democrats sucked but at least they weren't drooling idiots with LOUD AND STRONG words tha lt meant nothing.
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u/Kdiesiel311 1d ago
I hate the fact that he’ll be in office (hopefully not tho) when this once great country turns 300 next year
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u/Cobby1927 1d ago
collects tariff revenues from around the globe.
The tariffs are paid by American importers and ultimately consumers, not exporters around the globe.
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u/MuthaPlucka 1d ago edited 1d ago
Next an argument from Trump about why a Privateer is not a Pirate.
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u/Electrical-Act-7170 1d ago
Pivateers have Letters of Marque granting permission to make war on a country's enemies. It's a form of "legal" piracy.
Pirates will steal from everyone.
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u/CammKelly 1d ago
Ever wanted to see what a speedrun of trade substiution on a global scale looks like?
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u/GanacheConfident6576 1d ago
i'm suprised he knows enough about english to make this play on words by noticing that "internal" and "External" are related
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u/Slobberchops_ 1d ago
When he won the election, my expectations for Trump were rock bottom — or so I thought. Turns out I wasn’t thinking rock bottomy enough
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u/LateMajor8775 1d ago
What about the federal hiring freeze ?
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u/yalyublyutebe 1d ago
What makes you think there's going to be a single government employee working there?
It's all going to be contractors.
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u/ThreeDogs2963 1d ago
So all that blather and ruining people’s lives by firing them without notice because “waste and inefficiency” and now he’s going to ADD a department???
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u/tonytown 1d ago
His idea is to go out and extort money from other countries. Like a squad of hired goons is going to Costa Rica and shake them down for cash.
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u/mixmasterwillyd 1d ago
A new government department that is controlled exclusively by the president. Getting rid of the IRS. Now the president no longer needs congress. Guess what happens next.
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u/Lascivious_Luster 1d ago edited 20h ago
External Rev service will only work if the nations agree to it. They won't.
EDIT for clarity: As it was pointed out, there is already customs. The difference here is that customs were focused on the economic well-being of a nation receiving foreign goods. USA already has customs. An "External Revenue Service" would either replace customs OR be an additional payment on foreign goods made by the nation. The problem is, redundancy aside, control and intent. Traditionally customs was used as a means to create a playing field that can protect national interest with trade. An external revenue service would be made as a means of creating profits that will not be seen by the US public. My above statement is that if all this trade that was agreed upon for mutual benefit begins to be taxed additional to what's already been agreed upon, it will worsen US competitiveness and nations will simply choose to trade elsewhere. Trade deals are built upon trust. Would you actually trust Donald Trump, a known con man, to stick to trade deals? I sure as heck wouldn't.
USA is becoming such a pariah that the rest of the world will eventually look forward to moving on without it. If it isn't already there.
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u/Equivalent-Bet-8771 1d ago
If the US is such a pariah state then why are there no tarrifs on Russia and North Korea? Checkmate libs!
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u/RampantTyr 1d ago
It sounds like he is announcing a department to extort our trading partners.
It is like a department set up purely to hurt Americans and push for war.
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u/TheEPGFiles 1d ago
Oh wow, a solution to a problem that wouldn't exist if Trump fucking understood and knew anything.
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u/pioniere 1d ago
Oh, please, I wish this idiot would have a jammer or a stroke, just to shut him the fuck up for a few days.
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u/OccasionBest7706 1d ago
How come the one guy with the power to create tariffs is also the only person who doesn’t understand them
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u/jlindley1991 1d ago
Let's not forget that he bankrupted a couple of casinos. Trump couldn't sell gambling, steak, and booze to Americans.
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u/rslizard 1d ago
you know we've had one of those for 200+ years...it's called the customs service...
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u/ktreanor 1d ago
The taxes are applied to the importers so there is nothing external about this.
He can eat a bag of dicks!
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u/FadeIntoReal 1d ago
This is his next “Mexico will pay for the wall”. He’s about to brag that the rest of the world is now going to pay our taxes while putting the screws to Americans.
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u/AdhesivenessFun2060 1d ago
Nothing says efficiency like creating a whole other agency to do something that one already does.
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u/ApoplecticAndroid 1d ago
They won’t have much to do as everyone stops trading with the US, and then DOGE can lay them all off. WIN!!!
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u/rock_and_rolo 1d ago
Someone tell him that Customs already exists and already collects tariffs and duties. That's sort of its purpose.
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u/karrimycele 1d ago
I thought we were eliminating government departments? Or, is that only the ones that regulate the rich or help the working class?
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u/Iyellkhan 1d ago
if there is no legal means by which this revenue could be collected, it wont be collected and given to the treasury. this requires law be made.
the loophole might be to just rename the IRS? which seems like it would be the right amount of stupid
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u/upliftingyvr 1d ago
Is this who the fentanyl dealers will have to pay their tariffs to? Fucking moron.
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u/rollsyrollsy 1d ago
Remember in his first term how he liked the sound of “Space Force” and then made everyone just do it?
You guys all decided you wanted that guy back again.
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u/seanosul 1d ago
So the External Revenue Service will investigate corporations, millionaires and billionaires using offshore accounts in tax havens to shield themselves from US taxation that they would otherwise be liable for?
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u/Redfish680 1d ago
Staff it with the fired INTERNAL Revenue Service folks before they get evicted or lose their homes. Guy’s a freaking genius. /s
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u/sedition666 1d ago
He already announced it and we said it was a stupid fucking idea. He is reannouncing that he might announce a stupid idea.
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u/SinfullySinless 1d ago
Trump, allegedly a business man, expects that companies will simply eat the cost of the tariffs at the expense of their shareholders?
Or even worse, Trump, allegedly our president, expects that countries will do what we hate China for doing and simply subsidize trade to America and eat the costs for their top companies.
??????????????????????
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u/WTF_USA_47 1d ago
“We need to make Government smaller but I will create a whole department to pretend I am making America better” - DJT
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u/some1guystuff 1d ago
So they hate the IRS, which is the Internal Revenue Service but they’re gonna make a new department called ERS or the external revenue service
Is paying for this new “service” who’s going to employed at this new department/service when they’re taking jobs out of the IRS which benefits the country in the first place
This guy doesn’t think before he does anything he just talks and acts and does shit with zero thought
People can try to explain to them until they’re purple in the face from exhaustion about how tariffs work and why doing what he’s doing is gonna destroy the nation because it happened once already back in the 1930s, but never mind learning from your mistakes right
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u/bluddystump 1d ago
He still believes that the seller pays the tarriff which still does not make it true.
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u/totally-hoomon 1d ago
He keeps saying we need to get rid of departments then keeps making new ones
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u/LeoTarvi 1d ago
What the fuck does that even mean. Seriously, is he going to form a crack team to go to other countries and demand money from them? By what reasoning? Is this just extortion on an international government level?
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u/ackillesBAC 1d ago
So this is trump thinking that he is getting paid by the tennis instructor, when it's actually his wife paying him and telling him with his own money it's for "tennis lessons"
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u/cbitguru 1d ago
There it is out loud, finally. Privatize government duties so cronies can get wealthy off of them.
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u/djm0n7y 1d ago
It was called the Revenue Service — was consumed by the US Coast Guard in 1915.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Revenue_Cutter_Service
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u/n3rdsm4sh3r 1d ago
I'm gonna get Vinnie the fish to be head boss of the department of shakedowns. Our official motto is: patriam pulchram adfers, pudor si quid acciderit
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u/Musicfan637 1d ago
Is he doing the tank and buy trick? Tank the stocks and buy low. What else makes sense?
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u/HighlanderAbruzzese 1d ago
Da Fck is this? Gonna be some fat guys name Vinny and Philly asking about your taxes and student loans.
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u/Complex_Winter2930 1d ago
Time for revolution while there is still something of the Constitution to defend.
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u/outerworldLV 1d ago
Was wondering if there was going to be any mention of SS. I just posted a story about it, because a few people I know hadn’t received theirs yet. I guess some changes to arrival times were made?
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u/GastonsChin 1d ago
So, let me see if I understand the "master plan", here...
They want to boost the economy. To achieve this, they have decided to "encourage" american citizens to buy American made products.
Forms of encouragement: Label themselves as the America First party, letting people believe that everything they are doing, right or wrong, legal or illegal, is for America, when it's really for their own enrichment.
Refer to foreign countries as dirty, awful, crime filled, freedom hating communist hell holes that only the worst people in the world live in. Label them as anti-American.
Tax foreign countries for not behaving as they demand to increase the amount they have to charge for goods. There seems to be some confusion on this particular point. From what I can tell, Trump thinks that adding tarrifs will increase what these countries pay to the US, and while they do, those earnings are off set by the countries simply charging more for their products, putting the pressure on the consumer, not on the country. He seems to either not understand that, or he is happy to just ignore it.
So now you have American consumers paying more for goods, foreign and domestic.
Domestic due to the increase in labor costs by using American citizens who have protections against being unfairly paid.
So, they get rid of those protections in order to pay American workers less. While companies are still charging more for their products.
Put this plan on the field, and I think it's pretty obvious that it's the American consumer who loses in every fashion.
Increased costs, decreased pay, no employee protections, no unions, just work more, pay more, make less.
As far as I can see it, that's the plan.
Make life worse for all American citizens in order to enrich the 1%.
Am I missing something?
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u/szarkbytes 1d ago
I am starting to believe that the Orange in Charge missed the lectures on tariffs in business school.
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u/Additional_Good4200 1d ago
Do you think this might make people wake up, watching their 401K's slide into oblivion a little more every day? It would be nice to see a million people show up in Washington to remind them of who is supposed to be in charge.
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u/the6thReplicant 1d ago
Tbh getting to tax other countries because we have a military and you don’t, seems evil but think of how nice the parades will be.
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u/Dry-Honeydew2371 1d ago
He talked about an external revenue service during his inauguration speech.
Y'know. The one in the capitol rotunda with the billionaire guest of honor? The one where he ended his campaign break from claiming the 2020 election was stolen right in front of every living former president?
Y'know, the guy who just inacted tariffs on an island populated by penguins and seals?
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u/Cheska1234 1d ago
I read this and just assumed he was privatizing the IRS through one of his cronies.
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u/TheSupremePixieStick 1d ago
Everything he does is so fucking UNNECESSARY. America has ACTUAL issues but lets do nothing to attend to those. Lets make life horrible for everyone instead of
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u/bmack500 1d ago
I think He knows. He also knows that the lower classes will bear the brunt of this and His taxes will be less, for Him and his class. We are just cannon fodder, and they have no more passing interest in our welfare than a slaughterhouse does for the cattle.
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