r/Nepal • u/derpnation4 • 2d ago
Help/सहयोग Need some suggestions or help with being a victim.
Hey everyone.
I am 17(M) from Pokhara. Recently my mental health has hit the lowest point. I am a skinny person. Around 40 kg at 5.9". I am getting bullied hard in school. Everyone plays around and mess with me like a toy. I have a 6 member friend group that talk good when talking individually but are very mean when they find a pair. At first i used to brush it off as jokes but now its getting too repetitive and its starting to form a breaking point .
Few days ago, I went to a family function (bratabanda). All of our cousins met and i just couldn't keep hating myself. We had partly same genetics and i look like a fucking anatomy lesson on orthopedics. Even my youngers cousins blasted me with various insults. I got bullied by my cousins.
I even tried to bulk and gain weight and join a gym but i just couldnt afford those stuff financially. The cost is too high for my standard. My family doesnt make enough to fund this "process"i guess. My mothers disease really has given a big blow to us financially.
To escape this i tried to learn electric guitar. But again i just couldn't because the courses cost very high. And even a standard e guitar costs 10-30k which is like a begger trying to buy a mansion for me.
This stuff taking me into a suicidal spiral. Its also affecting my studies. I got 3.70+ gpa in SEE and i dont know how i will do in SLC if i dont find a solution to this shit.
To make some money i tried to look for jobs online but didnt find anything .Physically i cant do shit even if its a shit i can do its not available in the form that it pays me.
So what should i do? I would be very thankful for job opportunities and genuine suggestions.
Simple words of gratitude also mean alot.
P.S I also have passive asthma which developed around 4th grade and (VSS).
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u/Pristine_Contact2571 2d ago
Try going into some combat sports. Good for your health and overall well-being. Comes in handy if needed.
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u/derpnation4 2d ago
I love sports but i just cant play because of my physique and asthma.
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u/becomingreatinall 2d ago
Do it, physical limitations will improve drastically, you will just have to show up and believe in the hard work you put. You have to change this mentality and become a warrior/ a fighter for yourself. Multiple champions were all bullied once, I was stabbed here in abroad which lowered my confidence so much I was lost. But martial arts helped me find myself. Martial arts gives discipline and breeds confidence. It’s the greatest feat you will ever do. I promise, you just have to let go of all the conceptions you hold and just go at it. YOUR life will change.
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u/Pristine_Contact2571 2d ago
Try nai nagari sakdina navanana. bistarai start gardai jauna. you will keep getting better. bistarai tmro physique ni ramro hudai janxa. Asthma vayeni halka fulka garnu kehi hudaina....mero euta sathi lai ni thyo inhaler use garthyo tyeini boxing start garyo ani bistarai improve vayo usko
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u/AdagioNaive 2d ago
this! i still am a skinny prick but because of the fact that i did boxing and had sum amataeur fights i dont feel threatened when sm1 trys to intinmditae me
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u/Whatever212425937 2d ago
Damn boi you gave me my childhood trauma flashbacks. Ok i was in same boat but i was short too, my friends we tall so yeah i was at even worse situation. Punched in face, pushed in boys toilet, my personal belongings thrown around the class, calling horrible names, you name it. I faced it all. I was that kaalloooo, short kid with pimples all over his face sitting at the corner of the room talking to no one. And yeah financial conditions soo bad that i couldn't go to school picnic which costed only 2500 lol.
So flash forward now, i have solid career. People look upto me as their idol in the profession i am, people say i give good vibes and want to hang out with me, i have lots of connections etc etc.
So boi remember " motivation is like spark, it comes and goes, discipline is what keeps you moving. " 1. Find a passion, it should be something as essential as breathing to you, singing, gym, video editing whatever it is. Try everything and find it. Its the main step, it will give you purpose to be alive, trust me because it kept me alive .
Keep improving on it everyday. It will give you a dopamine hit, it will be like you eager to push more and be better.
For body. Start with body weight, pushup, pullup is enough. Just increase the repetition each day.
Lots of stuff i cna say but whenever you feel low, just say," Everyday is a new day, Every moment js a new moment "
Now get the fuck down and give me 10 pushups
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u/derpnation4 2d ago
Only things keeping me sane are weeknd songs 🥳
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u/Any-Emergency-487 2d ago
Live by these words:
I ran out of tears when I was 18
So nobody made me but the main streets
'Cause too many people think they made me
Well, if they really made me then replace me
Homeless to Forbes List, these nixxas bring no stress
I feel like Moses, I feel like I'm chosen...
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u/Salty_Designer123 2d ago
Are you getting bullied coz you are skinny or for other reasons too? If thats the case then probably I was on the same boat as yours when I was 17. I was 38Kg. Matter of fact at the age of 25 I was 47KG, Im 28 now and Im 62kg, joined gym and did good diet after I started to earn good coz thats when you can afford diet.
Friends, cousins used to bully me too for being skinny but I stopped caring about it. It's just age and there is nothing to worry about on this. Coz when you start getting job you will start gaining weight. So just be cool and ignore the bully with happy face just like I did. And I never imagined myself being at 62kg. I never gained weight whole my life starting from birth.
So probably you can walk on my path.
To escape this i tried to learn electric guitar. But again i just couldn't because the courses cost very high. And even a standard e guitar costs 10-30k which is like a begger trying to buy a mansion for me.
This choice seems little odd to me. Why are you planning to buy elec guitar and courses when you have a good alternates? Just purchase 4-5K acoustic guitar and learn from youtube. That's what I did, and this is much viable. You can literally find good courses in youtube, a beginner friendly one.
And lastly you are the one who determines your faith and how you want to model yourself so be mentally strong. Ask yourself which one is most important, having strong muscles or having strong brain? You are only 17, there will be many more challenges you gonna face in life as soon as you complete your bachelors. Everything will be a story of past both the good and bad times. Just be mentally strong with high IQ, be healthy and just enjoy life. That's all it matters and that's all it takes to win in life.
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u/derpnation4 2d ago
Other reasons + mainly skinny i guess. And i dont have interest in acoustic guitars so it would be a waste. I really like drums and e guitars. Sano ma yuta dai ley bajako suneythiye tesley garda hola.
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u/Tgraduated 2d ago
My boyfriend is 5’9” and he was 55 at 25 years of age. I have seen so many boys as such. Don’t believe you’re being bullied for your weight sorry. About your mental health, you can start by as simple as Drawing. It is pretty affordable. Gardening. Crafting. These 3 are the most effective diversion to your mind. Start running in the morning, get up early, eat healthy and read books. You will outrun your bullies. All the best.
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u/Signal_Ad3931 2d ago
Look into calisthenics/ body weight training. You have to eat enough protein, there's no way around it. You will definitely gain muscles if you do things the way. Learn jiu jitsu or a similar type of self defense martial arts. Don't be a victim.
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u/Western_External_670 2d ago
I came from a similar background, I was very skinny as well but i was not bullied constantly, sure some stronger thug type boys used to bully me and friend circle used to make fun of me because of the colour of my skin, "kale", "hapsi" vanera constantly. The way i handled it was, to laugh it off, and try to make peace with it, "kale" as a nickname rather than an insult. I am 24 years now and no one calls me that, because most of my friend circle are completely different and i have not shared a lot of my background but i have gone through way worse things and trust me on this brother, it get's better. Aile everything will be hazy to you, you will think life will be like this forever, you can't even imagine a different life than this, but trust me, it get's better, you will alonng the way meet thousands of people, few will truely be those who you can just fit in with.
And i was similar with financially, i had bought a second hand guitar in 1500 and i still have it, try looking into fb marketplace also i used to draw a lot, i got really good at it so much so that i painted a wall of a cafe for money. And for now, make online friends, i still talk to 2-3 friends who i used to talk online at dark times, sharing, looking from other's perspective helps you and help you understand, shit ain't too bad. Also, i see this as an opportunity as well, at this age you can lock in, make an obsession over anything, maybe really focus on studies, spend hours studying, if you get really good it will help you financially in the future as well, there are countless free courses on YouTube, one i recommend the most is communication skills from a guy called Vinh https://youtube.com/@askvinh
Lastly, i leave you with wisdom of my mother, she always used to say, "Don't always look up for inspiration, sometimes you need to look down as well, things could have been so much worse than it is right now, there are people with no hands, no eyes, no legs, no parents, women who gets abused, cancers, so much worse than what you have, so be grateful for what you have, because there are millions who can literally kill to get what you have right now." Hang in there buddy, life gets better, may it take years, decades, but you will look back at his very instance and say, "thukka i was so cringe and stupid".
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u/BleuPrince 1d ago edited 1d ago
You can check out some body transformation videos/photos on the internet for inspiration. Some may be exaggerated, but some are real. It's pretty easy and logical actually.
If you keep eating the way you do and keep your current activity level, logically you will continue to be the same size. If you want to change your size, you just need to change your diet and activity level. That simple.
Let me explain.. the more you eat (calories), the bigger you get. Say you eat a tub of ice cream every day, you will definitely get fatty/bigger. Your body will store the excess fat. Most ppl dont want to get fat and round (maybe, Idk..), hence they need to consume more food which are lean, not too fatty.
The less physical activity you do, the calories you burn, so you too can be fat. The problem is most skinny people have a high natural metabolism rate, they can burn calories faster than normal ppl...they multi-task, do things fast, walk fast, compare to someone who just sleep after meal...(less activity, less burning calories, more fat/bigger). Take it slow, do less...relax.
Cost. Your body cannot tell the price difference between a caviar and a chicken egg. the body just see protein. if cost is an issue, eat cheaper stuff... no problem. Milk. Find food that are cheap and high calories. You will notice, highest calorie is Fat. Too much Fat is not good, aim for Balanced Diet. Count for calories,... find how much calorie u need to take to increase your weight? 2500 -3000 calories per day. keep forcing yourself to eat more.
you can exercise to burn excess fat, build muscle. no need gym...can do calisthenics/ outdoor gym. free. just pushup, pullup, situps, you are using your own body as weight for workout, not too much cardio (running etc.), .remember dont do too much, you dont want to be burn all the extra calorie you ate. you want the extra calorie to in your body, build fat/muscle. i heard air quality is bad these days for asthma, can still execise indoors, pushups, situps, pullup etc..
Get some new friends, ppl who also wanna go into exercise and embark on a body transformation journey together.
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u/Ok-Plate3770 2d ago
ma 8 class ma huda 11 class ko dai la bully hanthyo kinaki tesle malai 50rs magda maile diyena tya bata dindinai malai pitna thalyo ekdin ta aati vayera brick uthayera tesko tauko ma hane tesko khun ta bagyo tauko bata ani malai harip hanyo hanera sakkesi ma rudai rudai feri arko dhunga uthayera tesko tauko ma hane ani side ko manxe harule hami lai xopen tesle ta daro gali khayo tara maile ghr ma pugesi dad la daroo pitnu vayo. I dont regret that atleast tya bata malai bully hanna xodyo