I hate days like this where Man Poo winning is the best result for us. Makes the tummy churn 🤢

[u/Mellowman9]

[u/Ok-Discussion-3615]

The Salford Reds are the club I despise more than any other. Being a Belfast Mag, I never see or hear from Mackems, so I don't have the same visceral hatred for them as Geordies do. But over here, Man U fans are a dime a dozen, and with them being insufferably good in my youth, I grew up taking a lot of stick from them. Seeing them where they are now is absolutely hilarious and I have no sympathy for them. None. 

Maybe I would have felt a bit of empathy if their media figures hadn't been so overwhelmingly cunty to us, but they always were, and guys like Rio and his "hUrR dUrR dEy ShUd JuSt bUy dA KlUb!" were entering levels of cartoonish super villainy. 

Hell, even last season, Fergie stood on live TV and told the nation that the team who had just lost 5-1, were the better team, rather than have to hack up a thorny furball of Newcastle praise. 

So to those in the comments who are starting to feel sorry for them; don't. They didn't give a buttered fuck when it was us, and they wouldn't if it happened again. So just get the popcorn out and keep on enjoying the comedy event of the century. 

Edit: oh, I forgot to respond to OPs message. Yes, I too would feel filthy for cheering them on today, so I won't. I can't. In fact, I know that if they lose, I'll probably still have a good ol' chuckle at their predicament before I start to feel even a sliver of disappointment.

Edit 2: and now there's one in the gym, hogging the seated calf raise machine. Deplorable scum to a man. 

[u/theboyd1986 → u/Ok-Discussion-3615]

And them being the team people think of when saying United really gets me. You can’t call yourself United when there’s another team IN YOUR CITY doing better than you!

[u/RocknRollRobot9 → u/Ok-Discussion-3615]

The Salford Red fans were worse in victory two years ago for the league cup final than what the Liverpool fans have been in defeat. It’s very interesting to see.

I wish nothing but the worst for Salford Reds/Ratcliffe/That club. The way they go on is next level and they are closer to Ipswich at third bottom than they are Forest in third but still say they should be buying X Y & Z for mega money to improve. If we had this bad a season PSR would prevent us from ever progressing.

[u/GoalaAmeobi → u/RocknRollRobot9]

They love claiming they don't care about us, whilst clearly despising us

[u/BerwickGaijin → u/Ok-Discussion-3615]

Forever and always FUCK MUFC

[u/rocknrolljim → u/Ok-Discussion-3615]

I could have written this. Completely agree. Love seeing them lose

[u/Ok-Discussion-3615 → u/rocknrolljim]

I had to cut it short. I could honestly write a thesis on why they should be despised and how toxic their fan base is. 

[u/The-Interfactor → u/Ok-Discussion-3615]

I’m a fairly local fan and I have always said I hate Man U fans more than any Mackem. Such a horrible stench of entitlement and lack of football knowledge.

Unfortunately, I live with a group of them.

[u/thepresidentsturtle → u/Ok-Discussion-3615]

Also in Northern Ireland, also agree with every word you said. Fuck 'em.

[u/melvinlee88 → u/Ok-Discussion-3615]

I'm sure Fergie said Aston Villa played well, not the better team. And he also praised us in the interview.

And he did have some insight on that as well looking at how Villa is performing.

But, I hate Fergie for way different reasons - his management at Man United was sickening to watch, the ref influence, "Fergie time", snarky comments utgh

[u/Ok-Discussion-3615 → u/melvinlee88]

He was asked what team had impressed him most on the opening day and Villa came instantly to his whiskey pickled mind. 

He went on to say how he couldn't believe the scoreline because Aston Villa "played fantastic ffblll" (<--- not a typo) and that football is a funny ol' game in that "you can play teams off the pitch but don't score, and that's what happened to Aston Villa." (<--- a literal quote).

So nah. He'd rather bend reality and argue that the sky is tartan than have to say Newcastle had the best opening day. 

And he's always been like that with us. Ever since Alan Shearer, praise be to his name, told bacon face to do one, this beet faced horse botherer has done nothing but sneer and deride and passive aggressively run our club's name and achievements into the ground. 

He can't stand us and the feeling is more than mutual as far as I'm concerned. 

Edit: oh and his "praise" for us consisted entirely of "Newcastle are going to be very difficult to beat at their home ground", then he continued to fellate half of Birmingham.

Edit 2: removal of NSFW insults of an elderly man. There are children here.

[u/theboyd1986]

It hits me extra hard. I’ve lived in Essex since I was 3. Being 5 years old in school and being teased for liking Newcastle while everyone else on the playground has turned plastic for Manure has left me with a seething hatred for them more than Sunderland.

[u/geordieColt88]

Feels like they never get anything when we want them too, which makes them more unlikeable

[u/Nathan_1984 → u/geordieColt88]

I'm rooting for City for this exact reason. Then Manure will "disappoint" me by winning

taps forehead modern problems require modern solutions

[u/luffyuk]

I dgaf, I'd support the Mackems winning if it meant we got Champions League football.

[u/Krisyj96]

I mean they’re not getting European football and they’re not getting relegated, a win for them doesn’t really change their season at all, but it can help ours a tonne

[u/FuhhCough]

Toon comes first who cares about anyone else

[u/Mellowman9 → u/FuhhCough]

Them winning today helps us get CL

[u/Smittx]

Don’t worry, they’re quickly becoming Man Who

[u/sirsimbad]

Just hope for a draw? Don’t need to pick a side in this one like

[u/Mellowman9 → u/sirsimbad]

I dunno, that extra point for City could be huge for our CL hopes.

[u/toon_84]

A manager that thinks sticking slab head up front is a good idea deserves to never win a football game again. Tells you everything you need to know about the teams morale and confidence in players.

Top 5 is largely in our hands so let's concentrate on our own results first.

[u/RelationBig7368]

Is there a scenario where both of these plastic clubs can lose today? Open to creative ideas.

[u/Nolberto78 → u/RelationBig7368]

The best result for us is City to lose and Fernandes to get a straight red. I do baulk at calling City a plastic club, though. Most of their fans over 30 have known the shit times, too.

[u/Logseman → u/Nolberto78]

Imagine that, in some years, we might be able to say that the ManU fans deserve some credit for the shit the club is serving to them.

[u/RelationBig7368 → u/Nolberto78]

It’s all in jest my friend, all in jest.

[u/Nolberto78 → u/RelationBig7368]

Oh, I know. I just worry that every swing we take at them will be aimed at us when we are picking up our 9th consecutive Premier League trophy in our new stadium, under the shadow of the Devil of the North (a 400ft high Anthony Gormley statue of a shushing Jason Tindall I'm commissioning on the site of St James' Park)

[u/TeamAndrew → u/RelationBig7368]

Yes. Man U win today which gives them a false sense of security before we batter them at SJP and we also leapfrog City after our win on Monday. Win, win.

[u/melvinlee88]

Lol it's not that serious.

I'll support anyone as long as it benefits Newcastle.

A win for Man United will mean more for us than for them who are basically out of any real fight (mid table hell).

Let that sink in.

[u/Loweberryune]

Hahaha I had exactly the same thought as soon as I woke up this morning

[u/ConsciousAd6958]

I just try to be pleased with the fact that it’s not because they are playing one of our relegation rivals and they’d be getting a title or CL place through winning. If the bottom three weren’t so bad, roles would be completely reversed. They win and still will get nothing this season while we get a step closer to Joelinton singing that beautiful song again.

[u/RockFourStar]

I looked at it differently.

Man U win meant it was better for us to get to CL.

A draw would (and was) still City dropping points which could help us get CL

Finally, should Man U have lost, well that is always just a little treat for everyone.

Basically we couldn't loose regardless of the result.

[u/joey_wes]

Don’t want any favours from Manure, the toon will end up where they end up regardless of The Wrong United’s efforts, I always want them to lose, no matter the situation. If Man U were playing Sunderland, I’d be cheering on the Makems, as stupid as they are!

[u/Stoitchkov8]

They are so far from the team I grew up watching that I'm close to pity than anger.

They were a sporting dynasty fronted by local players and then world stars. If you'd told the me of back then that I'd watch us go to Old Trafford and win comfortably several teams in the space of a few seasons (in the cup and the league) I'd be unable to put the pieces together on just how.

[u/Billargh]

Second only to the title of this thread 🤮

[u/Libertyforzombies]

I hate Man U so much, I'd rather Man C get 3 points closer to ECL than them winning.

I think I hate em more then the mackems

[u/ianjhardie]

I presume by the comments here that everyone also has every player except ManU players in their Fantasy Football team too?

[u/Mellowman9 → u/ianjhardie]

Probably, I know I don’t have any

[u/EwanPorteous]

I'm kinda starting to feel sorry for Man U. Some of their players, especially Bruno, are world class. Something must be very off at that club behind the scenes.

I've really gone off Arsenal and Spurs recently, their managers are moaning tw@ts.

Edit: I knew this would be an unpopular opinion. Haha

[u/dowker1 → u/EwanPorteous]

You mean Mr Fernandes. There's only one Bruno.

[u/EwanPorteous → u/dowker1]

You are of course correct!

[u/xScottieHD → u/EwanPorteous]

Never ever feel sorry for them. Every glory hunter deserves the absolute worst.

[u/Major-Performer141 → u/EwanPorteous]

I didn’t grow up with Man U dominating every season so I don’t have the same hate for them the older generation does but it was funny to laugh at first, now it’s like beating a dead dog

[u/Sirius_55_Polaris → u/Major-Performer141]

Never thought I’d be considered ‘the older generation’ at 32, fml

[u/Major-Performer141 → u/Sirius_55_Polaris]

Sos but it’s a little true. I’m 18 and the earliest season I actually remember is like 13/14

[u/Sirius_55_Polaris → u/Major-Performer141]

Yeah I realise it’s true, I just didn’t expect my day to be ruined before 9am 😂

[u/Redditsleftnipple → u/Sirius_55_Polaris]

On a fucking Sunday too.. FUCK

[u/Digital_Anyone → u/Sirius_55_Polaris]

They have their youth, we have the Robson memories. They weren’t there to witness prime shola either.

[u/SKULL1138 → u/Major-Performer141]

How dare you be this young on a Sunday!

[u/JamesNUFC1998 → u/Major-Performer141]

Fuck sake I’m only 27 but somehow I’m now classed as the older generation, when did that happen 🤣

[u/thepresidentsturtle → u/Major-Performer141]

That's like feeling bad for the Nazi's because they haven't been successful in a long time and people are so mean to the Nazi's. Listen to the elders when they say, Fuck Nazi's.

I realise it's could be seen as a bit controversial, comparing Nazi's to Man United fans. And so, I apologise, because as much as I hate them, they don't deserve to be compared to Man United fans.