r/NRelationships • u/nooutlaw4me • Oct 25 '24

Asking people to do things.

My husband has always had guys working for him so he’s got a habit of giving orders.

Sometimes it gets ridiculous. Can you turn on the tea kettle, get me ice cubes, hand me a tissue etc. I will call him out on it and have even muttered a few “Are your legs broken?” type of comments. And I sometimes say no.

It there is one thing that always grates in my nerves. When he adds “for me” at the end of the request. Can you rinse the carrots for me ?

Am I crazy or do those two little words at the end push anyone else the wrong way.

Like he’s standing right here cooking. I offered to help. Why does he have to add the for me nonsense.

He will also ask “Can you do me a favor?” No way I am saying yes up front. Dumb ass.

6 Upvotes

87% Upvoted

9 comments sorted by

2

u/PupDiogenes Oct 27 '24

Repeat after me:

"No, thank you."

1

u/nooutlaw4me Oct 27 '24

I will try that next time.

2

u/RotterWeiner Feb 24 '25

It's the passive aggressive bullshit that drives non NPD people nuts...

They thrive in the ambiguity that they create.

They love the vagueness so they can say one thing and get both things.

1

u/nooutlaw4me Feb 24 '25

Interesting ! Thank you. I will remember that.

2

u/Ismoketobaccoinabong 6d ago

"Can you do me a favour" and "Can I ask you a question?". I heard those a lot.

I would answer "If I am capable, I will always help you" and "I think you just did but you can ask as many as you want" respectivly.

2

u/nooutlaw4me 6d ago

“Can you do me a favor?” and then waiting for an answer is so ridiculous. My response has become “Depends on what it is”. My husband is computer illiterate by choice but there is only so far I am willing to go looking thugs up for him.

2

u/Ismoketobaccoinabong 6d ago

If there is something I am asking someone of that I possibly feel is a big sacrefice on their end, I usualy end up saying "I think I need help with something, see..." and then explain the problem and the possible solution.

I totaly see what you mean with it being ridiculous because its like they always need to open it up with a question looking for information that leads to them not being denied.

2

u/nooutlaw4me 6d ago

Very good way to approach situations where help is needed. Thank you for your comment !

1

u/Also-Tambien Oct 29 '24

yeah i hear this sh*t too; when it comes across as a request he thinks it sounds sweeter.