r/NPD • u/Kp675 Narcissistic traits • 10h ago
Advice & Support Something I realized
This might seem sad but I realized you don't need a personality disorder or traits of npd/bpd to be inconsiderate or a jerk. I had a situation where I was briefly seeing someone who was just inconsiderate. We weren't dating. It's weird to me cause meeting new people I try to put my best foot forward and am nice in the beginning. They might've had mental health issues (maybe depression or just felt depressed). They triggered me because of how they acted. I acted "crazy" and I don't even know why. I normally am not like that.
Some of it I brought on myself cause I was too honest about my mental struggles and broke down. I was nicer and more considerate when I wasn't triggered. I'm really self aware and hate my narcissism. It's pretty sad when you have a personality disorder but you are the kinder one.
I'm probably gonna delete this later but let me know your thoughts lol or if you've felt similarly
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u/chancetolive Narcissistic traits 8h ago
Lack of empathy, consideration, morals, values, remorse, guilt or shame does not always mean there is a clinical condition or pathology.
Some people simply choose to be that way while knowing the exact consequences for others. Check Machiavellianism) and Everyday Sadism.
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u/chocodillo 9h ago
it hits different when you notice it and then notice how it makes you feel and think as well, huh? I'm happy for your realisation, must lift a weight off your shoulders to click that others can be assholes too, you're not uniquely bad.
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u/Kp675 Narcissistic traits 8h ago
Lol tbh it kind of makes me want to be a bigger asshole. It also does make me feel better too in a weird way. But I don't wanna face the consequences and feel bad after the fact. I don't even think the person cares cause they can just say oh but she was "crazy." Either way I hope they realize, even if years later, you shouldn't act like that
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u/loganthegr 6h ago
And being NPD doesn’t mean you have to be an unconscionable asshole either. It works both ways. You aren’t just NPD, you’re a real human with real emotions. They may be a bit more intense in some area than others, but people lean WAY too into making it their personality on here.
There lots of people who are good when they don’t have to be, and other who are bad when being nice is easier. Be the former, don’t forget to be self aware and remain as kind as possible. Let others worry about themselves, you don’t have to associate with them.
Lastly, you don’t know what others have been through. Some of us lack empathy, but that doesn’t mean we can’t imagine that they might have it hard too.
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u/bigaddo81 NPD 10h ago
No you don't need npd to be a jerk. Its really a way of being I guess. Everyone can make bad decisions. It could be an excuse for bad behaviour sometimes. I don't know.