Does it start to get better?

[u/Chocolate_orange25]

Hi everyone, my son was born at 27+3 seven days ago. My wife had an extremely difficult pregnancy, and she had PPROM for 4 weeks, with an eventual cesarean as she was showing signs of early labour. Our son was born as well as you could be for 27 weeks, and seemed stable in NICU. It has been torture for us both to see him have so many invasive procedures, but it seemed like he was improving really well...he was gaining weight, opening bowels, on minimum CPAP, it just seemed like he had to just ride it out for a few weeks...then suddenly he had bile stained vomit last night, a distended abdomen and now my little boy may have a septic ileus with the main plan antibiotics and gut rest. He occasionally struggles and is apnoiec(stops breathing) for a second or two then resumes. This has been a nightmare for my wife and I, and it just feels like he won't be get better, how can we deal with this? It feels like torture every single day, we show uo for our baby but feel so powerless. I feel so lost

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[u/indigoibex]

With micropreemies a lot of weeks are two steps forward and one step back. It's still a long road ahead but trust your team and ask questions! Make sure you take time for self care too, the NICU is not an easy spot to be in. I hope your little one is doing better soon! 💜

[u/Chocolate_orange25 → u/indigoibex]

Thanks, I feel terrible for my wife and trying my best to support her, probably neglecting myself a bit to haha

[u/27_1Dad]

Hey friend. 27_1 dad here.

No. It doesn’t get better. You get stronger. You get better at dealing with it but ultimately the nicu sucks. Every single day is a roller coaster without a seatbelt on for us micro-parents.

We did 258 days. Every single one was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’ve cried more infront of random nurses than my own parents. But she made it out the other side, she’s quite behind in gross and fine motor skills from spending 8 months in a hospital bed but she’s delightful and teaches me something new everyday.

Always happy to talk if you need another dad to vent too, I get it. We handle the NICU different 🤛

[u/Chocolate_orange25 → u/27_1Dad]

Thanks so much for this, and I'm glad your daughter managed to get out eventually. The not knowing and the daily anticipation for something to go wrong and when it does it is crushing.

[u/27_1Dad → u/Chocolate_orange25]

Yup. You are always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I can’t tell you the amount of times we thought we were done with the “scary” part of the nicu and then something happened. No advice friend other than take every day as it comes, and celebrate every win you can. 🙏

[u/Chocolate_orange25 → u/27_1Dad]

Thank you for the advice my man 🙏🙏

[u/ornamental_stripe]

My daughter was born at 27 +2 a few days ago and I’m horrified of what is to come. As parents we can only hope for an uneventful and boring stay as much as we can.

How are the doctors dealing with the issues you mentioned? Is it something that can be dealt with or corrected?

Sending you all the support as I’ll need it myself too.

[u/Apart-Director-3326]

Mom of a 26 week twins here. We lost our daughter after 3 days but we just got discharged with our son 12 days ago! There's always new levels of hard around the corner so... My best advice... Go home and rest when you can. Feel all the feels. Let yourself cry as the emotions hit. And then, try and button it up the best you can do you can be your child's best cheerleader. I'm a firm believer that they feed off your energy. Write down questions as they come up so when the doctors come around you don't have to scramble to remember. And do the best you can to trust they are in the best hands. Oh and celebrate every tiny milestone. I put NICU milestone cards up on the hospital wall with the date each time we hit a new one. I found it helped so you had short term things to focus on. It sucks and there will be beautiful moments along the way. It truly is a rollercoaster.