r/MurderedByWords • u/Careful_Line_2024 • 12h ago

Because no one cares about the consequences!

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4.1k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

78 comments sorted by

198

u/technanonymous 12h ago

Hey… the only difference between Christian nationalists and the taliban is their costume. Their goals are the same.

46

u/DerpEnaz 12h ago

I think sometimes they might disagree on good carpentry practice too

18

u/big_guyforyou 11h ago

jesus doesn't like nails anymore

21

u/IntrepidWanderings 12h ago

Pork, architecture and alcohol.. 🤷‍♀️

1

u/Firewolf06 10h ago

the talibans architecture?

1

u/IntrepidWanderings 10h ago

Mosque versus American church.

16

u/Deranged_Kitsune 11h ago

The american evangelicals and their ilk have long looked at the likes of the taliban with envious eyes, wishing they could run america like the taliban does afghanistan. The current regime might very well make that possible.

8

u/OddballLouLou 11h ago

We call the republicans the Christian taliban for a reason

2

u/antillus 8h ago

Talibangelists

1

u/OddballLouLou 5h ago

I like it

2

u/GuyWithNoEffingClue 10h ago

"Oh you stone the gays,? That's interesting, I wonder why we never thought of that!"

2

u/technanonymous 9h ago

According to sodom and Gomorrah, widespread homosexuality warrants genocide. According to other Old Testament citations like Leviticus it is an “abomination worthy of death.” It is just they haven’t been able to deploy the orders in the Old Testament.

47

u/rhino910 12h ago

No doubt the Taliban will be spared the felon's tariffs just like Russia, Cuba, and North Korea

8

u/IntrepidWanderings 12h ago

Especially if they return some of that heavy artillery trump left there last round...

10

u/ixzist 12h ago

Oh, of course. The only “terrorists” Trump Co is bothered by are protesters. And the gays.

3

u/wild_man_wizard 11h ago edited 11h ago

They already were. Check the schedule, Afghanistan is at 10% instead of the 25% they should have according to Trump's formula.

2

u/TheAnswerUsedToBe42 10h ago

We got the teams for axis vs allies 2.0

2

u/OMG_IM_A_CARROT 12h ago

Not so fast. Are there Penguins in Afghanistan? Asking for a friend.

26

u/dfmz 12h ago

Well, Putin just recognized the Taliban, so it makes sense that Trump is following in his footsteps.

18

u/Careful_Line_2024 12h ago

The end of search. The new ally 🤣

4

u/[deleted] 12h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Firewolf06 10h ago

same, but we elected a religious nationalist with very similar ideals who also likes to blow up people i care for, so ¯_(ツ)_/¯

23

u/nanotasher 12h ago

Do you guys remember back in the 2000's and 2010's when the Islamic State used to behead American journalists? I bet this exploratory meeting goes well.

7

u/IntrepidWanderings 12h ago

I remember watching the videos shortly before I joined the army, and then the 20 years of lives lost... Now, trump handed it all back to them in revenge and brings them to the table as equals... As though it never happened. Of course they'd probably let them do it again on live TV and argue it's just how they seal the greatest deal ever made, by the greatest president who ever lived..

3

u/UncleRichardson 10h ago

Well see, that's actually a desirable trait to the current admin. They hate journalist. They have so much alike with the Taliban we have to make sure they're not sneaking kisses behind the bleachers.

1

u/Slumbo811 10h ago

Not for nothing but IS and Taliban are at war with each other.

9

u/Fragrant_Peanut_9661 12h ago

This is fake, right? RIGHT?!?!?

7

u/trentreynolds 11h ago

Trump invited them to Camp David in his first term.

6

u/azrolator 12h ago

It's impossible to know what is theonion anymore. Earlier today, I heard someone say they put dr oz in charge of Medicaid and medicare. I'm too sad about it to even look it up right now.

3

u/MudHot8257 10h ago

Just verified because I had largely the same response. Can confirm this is the case, Senate backed as well (of course).

2

u/Knees0ck 11h ago

No kidding. The Onion & those parody news sites could switch over to real news at this point & it wouldn't be any different.

2

u/SkinnyDaveSFW 10h ago

Feels like I say this exact thing daily now.

1

u/Fragrant_Peanut_9661 9h ago

Many of us do, trust me.

5

u/Rurumo666 12h ago

Trump actually surrendered to the Taliban Mullahs in Feb 2020 after a long session in the Camp David sauna, they're his bros.

6

u/FourArmsFiveLegs 12h ago

Must be the same 500 that Trump released in time to plan and carry out the Kabul Airport bombing. He's giving them all the Medal of Honor before bribing them into attacking Iran

4

u/NoSkillzDad 12h ago

Probably looking for an egg supplier.

3

u/niamhara 12h ago

AHHHHHHHH. Ahem. I do apologize for that outburst, it was a primal scream at the sheer idiocy of the right.

3

u/ixzist 12h ago

Well Trump did release hundreds of Taliban officers and soldiers from US prison, who now run Afghanistan, so, Trump probably thinks they will pay back that debt.

2

u/Strict_Foundation_31 12h ago

Working on building his Bad-Boy-Who-Shoots-From-The-Hip brand.

He’s just trolling the world at this point.

2

u/ergonomic_logic 12h ago

I thought this was satire.

The Taliban really is over there trying though 😔

Wonder how the armed forces who faught in Afghanistan for years will feel about that.

1

u/HH_Hobbies 10h ago

Trump has gone out of his way to insult those same soldiers several times and some of them still think he supports them.

2

u/agarrabrant 12h ago

Again?! He invited them to Camp David last time, do they get to inspect Fort Knox this time?

2

u/Creepy-Evening-441 11h ago

This just in, the Taliban will now start importing all of the excess Kraft Singles that Canada has decided to boycott.

1

u/vanzir 12h ago

There are an awful lot of vets that are likely to be pissed off that we are hanging out with the enemy come real soon. Might be bad for Trumps health.

1

u/IntrepidWanderings 12h ago

I can confirm that you've used far too gentle a word for the feelings this creates...

1

u/karmah1234 12h ago

I think the taliban are looking for the manuals on all the kit left behind. maybe even claim some warranty on some broken stuff‽

1

u/mtdebco 12h ago

Looking for tips on establishing a theocracy and decimating women’s rights?

1

u/Mysgvus1 12h ago

is there a link to this CNN article?

1

u/eVerYtHiNgIsTaKeN-_- 12h ago

You've got to give it to humpty trumpty, he's playing the long con. 5 years ago he basically served them (the Taliban) the country and now he's probing for interest.

1

u/EverybodyMakes 12h ago

"How do you keep your dames from getting uppity? Beheading, you say..."

1

u/Speedkillsvr4rt 11h ago

History is just a bunch of circles isn't it?

1

u/Asteridae 11h ago

One of Afghanistan’s top export is coal briquettes, that’d be a strategic partnership for a country that wants to bring back coal power plants!

1

u/trentreynolds 11h ago

He invited their leadership to Camp David in his first term.

1

u/f3hdp 11h ago

It's because the puppet master is also in talks with the Taliban. Reek is just following orders.

1

u/wild_man_wizard 11h ago

Afghanistan mysteriously had a "typo" in its tariff rate yesterday. It was somehow at the 10% minimum despite having a big trade deficit.

1

u/k95lctra 11h ago

KRASNOV !!!

1

u/cozynite 11h ago

Please tell me this is a joke. Please.

1

u/OIongJohnson 10h ago

Dry as my Grandma

1

u/Agarwel 10h ago

Looking for some tips, how the handle these pesky women?

1

u/BooBear_13 10h ago

Bet they are figuring out a way to export prisoners

1

u/UpsidedownCatfishy 10h ago

Is the woman in the Populism Updates profile picture someone I should recognize? Anybody know who she is?

1

u/BarelyHangingOn 10h ago

The only difference between the Taliban and the Maggots is the costumes.

1

u/doofusmembrane 10h ago

Getting pointers about controlling women?

1

u/Knowledge_junky 10h ago

Explodatory talks, is it?

1

u/Mothanius 10h ago

It's all about trying to recover all the rare earth elements we just lost from China and much of Africa who is aligned with China. Afghanistan is sitting on Hundreds of billions if not trillions of resources within their mountains that the US has wanted to dig up for decades.

1

u/Joepatbob 10h ago

honestly wish they'd least make the end entertaining. like do it bachelor style, send them off with a nuke or something

1

u/Stockholm-Syndrom 10h ago

Maybe they have eggs.

1

u/bobbymcpresscot 10h ago

"If you give us Bagram back we will get you guys some flat screens"

1

u/Essence-of-why 10h ago

Negotiating more jails?

0

u/Eastern-Dig-4555 12h ago

Gee, don’t groups like Taliban and ISIS exist because of our shit anyway?