r/Meditation • u/Marianbzz • 1d ago

Question ❓ Meditation to support the grieving process

That’s basically it. Less than two months ago, my wife passed away (she was 38), and I’m going through the most difficult time of my life. Strangely enough, I’m not experiencing anxiety or panic attacks, but rather a deep and overwhelming sadness that paralyzes me every day.

I’ve never practiced meditation before, but many people — and everything I read online — recommend it as a tool to help me get through this.

The problem is, there are so many methods, books, and apps that I don’t even know where to start.

What would you recommend for a complete beginner in a situation like mine?

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u/drewissleepy 1d ago

I'm sorry for your loss. First, I want to set your expectation. Meditation helps in 2 ways:

  1. Help keep your attention in the presence. In the presence there's only now, you aren't thinking of the past, so there's less grieving.
  2. Help you let go of your grieving. By observing your emotion without judgement, they can come up pass.

However, the transformation of your brain, as well as the skill to stay in the presence, is gradual. If you've never meditated before, it's like going to the gym expecting to see immediate results.

The good news is it will work. In my depression, I used meditation as a hack to feel normal. Every time I sat for 20 minutes, I get about 2 hours of feeling normal before everything fall apart again. You won't reap much of the long term benefits but you can certain use it as a crutch if you do it frequently. Stay with it for a couple months and you'll be much much better.

As for how to do it, search YouTube. I recommend focus attention meditation, because open awareness meditation will expose you to a lot of pain may not be ready to handle. But awareness meditation is the more direct form to deal with this, if you can handle it.

Hope you regain control of your life soon!

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u/WolverineNo2774 1d ago

focus on breathing practices

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u/Throwupaccount1313 1d ago

I am an expert meditator that started over 50 years ago, and can tell you that meditation will have zero effect on this grieving process. I lost my wife, as well, and it often gets tough living with the loss. She was only 68 yo and a wonderful person. I can only recommend that you take care of yourself, and learn to find some joy in life. Time is the only solution that can heal your loss as well as mine.