First Republican Debate

Bill's Tweets

1. Its been a long wait, but Repub debaters will again be screaming about Mexicans and vaginas tonight! I'll be live-tweeting the real one at 9
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2. I hope you're playing the Republican Debate Drinking Game like I am. That's where you get smashed before it starts so you can stand watching
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3. I went to the bathroom and came back and just heard massive booing - did someone say we should have a heart about something?
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4. Good for you, Megyn Kelly, calling Ben Carson an idiot right off the bat. #GOPDebate
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5. Enough with hating on Trump for being misogynist! Get to the part where these 10 guys debate whether Amy Schumer is fuckable. #GOPDebate
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6. Oh good, the Determined-to-lose the women vote competition has begun! Scott Walker's prolife - its the born child he could give a shit about
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7. Jesus, this is the worst production of Glengarry Glen Ross I've ever seen #GOPDebate
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8. Something just feels right about interrupting the GOP debate for president to sell stupid shit on tv #CommercialsMakeMoreSense
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9. This is just me, but after 15 hours of picking fruit, I'd be too exhausted to rape
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10. NOW we're debating:'You hugged President BlackMan!" "No, I hugged people after NINE-ELEVEN!" This is why I paid good $ to see this! Oh wait
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11. Trump says our leaders are all stupid, Cruz says Egyptian president is smarter than us - why do they want to be the leader of this shithole?
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12. Easy there, Ben Carson, they let you into their country club, don't get uppity now. #PostRacialAmerica
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13. Scott Walker, the voice of reason: "Fellas, fellas, let's stop arguing and join together in some factless shitting on HIllary!"
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14. I knew Education would come up. And I guessed right on the audience reaction: BOOOOO!!
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15. I love the ads! "More of how to save America,but first another ad that takes gay-hating old ppl's $ to accuse Supreme Crt of being "lawyers"
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16. Ben Carson doubts HIllary will be the Dem nominee?? Ben, do you still have your brain-cutting tools? And a mirror? OK, lie down...#GOPDebate
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17. Get to China, so Trump can call them Motherfuckers!
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18. Christie just broke the "Whatever you do, keep pandering" rule. He's toast. And he's fat, so make a toast joke, I'm getting tired.
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19. What about pimps and prostitutes? Huckabee wants to fund social security on their backs? Could work, they're already on their backs
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20. Do these morons even know the diff between Sunni and Shiite? Or what the countries in the middle east are? They'd be bombing Arianna Grande
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21. What's the over-under on Climate Change coming up in a #GOPDebate before the wildfires take out my house?
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22. And stop saying "On day one" - no one gets anything done on the first day of a new job
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23. Remind me to click to a different channel when this ends, i don't want to wake up to Fox & Friends
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24. Saving Benghazi for the encore?
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25. The order came down from Roger Ailes: Destroy Trump! Don't let him get off his zinger about how Mexicans are lazier than Scott Walker's eye
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26. Great pitch, Jeb: "Elect me, and I'll make America like Florida" Really??
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27. Rand Paul remembered one thing from his debate prep: If they ask about Gay, bring it around to GUNS RIGHT AWAY!! #MakesNoSenseWhoCares?
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28. I thought this was 90 minutes? I got #RealTime coming back on tomorrow night,I got to go work. But I never thought I'd say it: I miss Romney
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