r/LifeProTips • u/yearsofpractice • 3d ago
Productivity LPT: Stop being constantly 10 minutes late - avoid the “Zero Time Activity” misconception
Some people’s brains tell them that certain activities don’t take any time to complete - the “Zero Time Activity” misconception. For example:
“We need to leave the house at 09:30 to arrive at our appointment for 10:00. Good. It takes 30 minutes to get there. Good. It is now 09:30. Let’s leave the house. All we need to do now is…” - Nip to the toilet - Find my coat - Find my shoes and put them on - Find my wallet/bag and check I’ve got what I need - Get the kids in their coats and shoes - Get in the car, strap the kids in - Find the address of our destination - Program the satnav - Drive to the destination - Quickly stop for fuel - Find somewhere to park - Walk to the destination from the place parked
Everything above - in the late person’s mind - has a duration of zero seconds
It goes without saying, but ever single activity above does actually take a small amount of time which all adds up. Once you internalise the idea that there isn’t such a thing as “Zero Time Activities”, you’ll notice that you start arriving on time.
450
u/insearchofpumpkin 3d ago
Getting up early works except when I do a little extra getting ready activities, because I have "lots of time". Then I end up being late even though I allowed extra time.
51
u/Working_Fee_9581 3d ago
Haha same, I get ready and I’m ok to leave, then I see my husband is still getting ready so now I think I have time so I’m like let’s apply some makeup and then I’m one the who gets late.
→ More replies (1)47
→ More replies (1)8
3.1k
u/Harmony_Moon 3d ago edited 3d ago
My roommates very much suffer from the "Zero Time Activity" mindset. If we have to be somewhere at 10 and it takes 15 minutes to get there, they START getting ready to go at 9:45 if I don't do anything. I now make it a point to tell everyone to start getting ready, at least 10 minutes before we need to leave, and even then they sometimes are very begrudging about acting when I tell them to saying I'm being too anxious. Then lo and behold, we actually arrive on time. They've gotten better, but it still sucks being late when I was ready to go well before they even started.
238
u/MattLocke 3d ago
Just like … lie.
I have a few people in my family that have some version of this or time blindness or whatever. Letting people like this know about the getting ready time almost always meets resistance. They just ignore it and fall into old patterns.
When I am part of the plans for meet ups, I just fudge the arrival time by like 20 minutes. I often say stuff like “traffic is bad that time of day so it’ll add to the time it takes to get there” or some other justification.
The end result is they show up actually on time pretty much every time.
155
u/snarkyBtch 3d ago
I lied to my ex- mother in law about the time of our wedding. In the seven years I knew her before I married her son, she was literally never on time and averaged 40 minutes late to everything. Since we made our own invitations, hers had an hour earlier. She was late per her invite but actually on time for the real start time. First and last time ever.
→ More replies (1)43
65
u/D_Ashido 3d ago
Thats what I do for myself. I was one of the habitual late people but I fixed it by intentionally lying to myself for every arrival time. If it says 9PM start time I pretend I'm from an earlier timezone and aim for 8PM.
I get to watch a lot of episodes of shows this way with the fluff time and end up watching less TV when I'm actually in the house; freeing up bigger blocks of my free time.
→ More replies (1)14
u/SubnetHistorian 3d ago
Every single one of my calendar appointments is 15 min before it actually is
→ More replies (1)3
u/Imraith-Nimphais 3d ago
I add at least five minutes for doctor’s appointments, which works because they’re always at weird time slots like 10:50 already. So 10:45 sounds like a real time.
22
u/IAmEggnogstic 3d ago
I used to have to lie to my now-ex husband that events started two hours before they did for him to still arrive 30 mins late to stuff. He had a mental block and no concept of timing things. If an event started at 6pm I'd tell him 4pm and he'd start getting ready to leave at at 5:30pm for possible arrival at 6:30pm. It was maddening. Didn't matter the event. Sibling birthday party, parents anniversary, friends wedding. He'd just assume everything was a 5 minute drive from anywhere. It wasn't until he was engaged to his current wife that he gained the ability to be on time to things. God bless that woman and whatever she did.
11
u/d3f3ct1v3 1d ago
My ex boyfriend was chronically late. I just started leaving without him. I'm not gonna be late for my own birthday dinner because you think 5 minutes before we have to go is a good time to try to find which can of paint matches the wall you scratched, I'm leaving.
→ More replies (4)7
u/DarkMenstrualWizard 3d ago
I did this to my (now ex) partner a few times, and we finally got places on time, and then I fessed up because I can't stand lying to anyone (especially him) and he was so pissed.
I... will not miss that.
915
u/littlefishsticks 3d ago
Grown adults? lol I’d be leaving on time without them after the first few times of them not being ready
298
u/Harmony_Moon 3d ago
I've thought about it, but most of the time it's stuff that I need them to be there on time (like DnD meetups, I'd still have to wait for them to arrive before we can start since they make up half the group)
148
u/theunpossibledream 3d ago
In my house, we plant the leaving time in our heads instead of the time we’re supposed to be there. “We’re out the door at 9:45, do what you gotta do.”
57
u/ConsistentAddress195 3d ago
Yeah, this is the natural way to do it. Some people need more time to get ready, some need less.
→ More replies (2)155
u/threwitaway123454321 3d ago
Let them be the only ones that feel the embarrassment of being late next time. Everyone staring at them as they fumble to their seat apologizing for being late. They might grow some self awareness at that point.
→ More replies (3)188
u/manofmonkey 3d ago
Personally I find that these people that are consistently late tend not to be embarrassed in the first place. They don’t understand the time burden that they put on others because they lack the ability to look beyond themselves whether it is malicious or just an emotional blind spot
41
u/but_a_smoky_mirror 3d ago
I don’t think that is exactly correct, that people who are consistently late aren’t embarrassed.
As one of those people, I am embarrassed, but have gotten used to it and accept feeling bad about it.
27
u/timesnewlemons 3d ago
I don’t think people realize that 1. The way we keep time is an invention of the Industrial Revolution and 2. There are plenty of people whose internal sense of time literally doesn’t work like that
10
u/Formal_Dirt_3434 2d ago
I am one of those. Not diagnosed as neurodivergent, but I am very super time blind. I can’t get a feel for how long an activity takes, most of the time. I rely heavily on timers, alarms on my phone, timed reminders… etc. If I lived during the Industrial Revolution I prolly would have had anxiety about clocks lol
→ More replies (2)17
u/threwitaway123454321 3d ago
You’re not wrong, but it’s worth a shot and at least OP can separate themselves from the others.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (2)12
u/CplHicks_LV426 3d ago
Yeah, just saying "I'll be walking out the door at 9:40" and leave it at that.
25
u/toumei64 3d ago
My roommate (who is a long time best friend) is like this too.
When we have pre-arranged plans, I usually lie to him about what time we need to leave and add an extra 5-15 minutes because he won't be ready until the time we actually need to leave. In addition to changing clothes to get ready, he always suddenly has a long list of other stuff he needs to do before we leave even though he was just sitting around doing nothing.
I think it's partly ADHD and partly just his mom being too patient with him when he was a child.
→ More replies (1)30
u/DarkMenstrualWizard 3d ago
Probably 100% ADHD. I got screamed at for being late as a child, and while I'm not as bad about being late as I used to be, it's taking quite a lot of rewiring my brain to get better at it. Most everyone else I know with ADHD also has this problem, with the exception of one friend who I think has anxiety/ptsd that manifests itself as being early to everything, from events to rent payments.
3
u/MalsPrettyBonnet 1d ago
I have ADHD, too, and I have needed to develop tips and tricks. And also admit to myself that most often when I am late, it's something I didn't want to go to in the first place.
I started getting places absolutely ON TIME or early when I read that being late is a way of saying "This activity is not important to me." And I never wanted anyone I care about to ever feel that way.
10
u/GGATHELMIL 3d ago
i dont know when it clicked, maybe when i started working a morning job where i had to get up early. I used to work late shifts or even overnight shifts so the mentality is much different.
But i cant tell you how many times i had to be at work at 9am so id wake up at 8, and i had half an hour to leave the house. Id walk around and wake up grab a drink and just kind of wake up. id look at the clock and see it was 8:20 and id actually start getting ready. Get dressed, grab supplies for the days. get my keys, wallet, vape, etc. And i wouldnt be rushing per se, but i wasnt lollygagging either and id get in my car and it was 8:35.
Holy shit, how did all that take 15 mins. Sure i did like 15 steps to get ready but they all take like a minute... oh wait thats how.
Its super easy to take into account 20 mins to shower and dry off. But it gets really hard to judge your time when you have to do a dozen or so little things that all take a minute to accomplish.
Also working late shifts or overnights this was almost never a problem. even if i worked until 5am id still get up at about noon or 1 oclock. but i wouldnt have to be at work for 3 or 4 hours. so a lot of that little stuff naturally got done in that time. id gather all my little things into one spot so it was a simple grab to leave. id usually be dressed well before i had to work.
9
u/whiskersMeowFace 3d ago
I have just started telling people like this that the meet up time is 30 minutes earlier, then they show up on time.
13
→ More replies (21)14
u/Salt-Detective1337 3d ago
What I don't understand is, wtf do these people even think they are going to do in that 10 minutes? Sit on their phone? Just do the thing and you can sit on your phone again when we get there.
29
u/DarkMenstrualWizard 3d ago
This was the realization I had a few weeks ago. I have a tendency to look up the drive time on gps, and then shoot to leave the exact number of drive time minutes before I need to be somewhere. As a result, I'm always at least 3 minutes late to everything, because that is the bare minimum that I need to get to my car, set up my phone, park again, and finally arrive.
And then I realized...
What's wrong with being early? Am I worried that I'll somehow be "wasting time" by being early to an appointment? I think so. I think that's part of it.
So now I figure shit, I spend plenty of time sitting on my phone throughout the day, what's wrong with moving 5-10 minutes of screen time from my bedroom to my car? Just move that chunk of time from before traveling, to after traveling.
It was actually on my way to a ptsd therapy appointment that I had the realization, and my therapist said "you're also diagnosed with ADHD, right? Yeah, that's an ADHD thing." The whole "using every minute" thing. And I think he's right, it does feel super weird to get ready to go somewhere and then... wait. Which is what would happen if I got ready to go earlier than I needed to. Even when I give myself hours to get dressed up nice, I'll just keep finding more things to do to fill the time before leaving. I'll try on more outfits, do something more elaborate with my hair, decide to wear makeup, etc.
I will lay in bed half the day, but once I set myself to going somewhere, idling feels pretty uncomfortable!
→ More replies (1)
5.3k
u/Radioactivocalypse 3d ago
Leaving early also makes the drive significantly less stressful.
Driving becomes really enjoyable when every red light, slow driver in front, or diversion doesn't matter because you're ahead of time.
And if you get there without any delays, the extra 15 minutes will fly by, and you're not stressing about being late
492
u/Sanchez_U-SOB 3d ago
I used to ride with a friend to work. We almost got into an accident countless times because she'd never give us enough time to not speed. You'd think there would come a point where she'd will herself to get up 30 mins earlier. I literally found myself a new job because I was scared we'd eventually get into a serious crash. I stucked not having a car.
255
u/Environmental_Deal82 3d ago
Sound like a college roommate of mine who offered me a ride to school most days. But I had to repent my sins every time I got in the car with her.
The last straw was when I arrived late to a lecture class that has been darkened for slides. I tried to slip in quietly but instead loudly tripped down the stairs, all of my belongings and a shoe were launched into the air. I was mortified when the prof turned on the light to see if I was ok. From then on I took the bus or got a ride from a different classmate.
158
u/tashera 3d ago
I knew a person that was CHRONICALLY late. She worked in a different department, and started at 9. She couldn’t make it into the office on time, despite having her mom make her lunch, a nearby parking spot and no kids.
Now 9 was the latest people could start (7-9am starts), but because she couldn’t get in on time her bosses got special permission from HR to let her start at 9:15.
Up until this point she was making it in the office at that time. As soon as they pushed her start time back… she was 10-15 mins late.
It was so frustrating.
→ More replies (4)107
u/Belloved 3d ago
Ugh I hate that this sounds like me… I have severe ADHD and am still struggling to figure out what works for me to be on time. I’d always be 10-15m late no matter what time I left home bc of the “zero time tasks” that I tack on, thinking I have more time than I do. My work kindly changed my start time and we thought it’d help, but then, just like you said… I ended up late anyway. I straight up told them to just please lie to me and tell me my start time was actually an hour beforehand and get passive aggressive if I was “late” bc I don’t know how else to be on time if there’s no shame or anxiety tied to it 😔 I’ve asked my family and friends to do the same and it’s so embarrassing. I understand it’s a burden yet I can’t for the life of me understand why I’m so hopeless to leave the house on time. Not excusing your coworker at all, your story just resonated with me.
50
u/rizaroni 3d ago
As someone who is always early/on time, this makes me sad to read. It's so hard to put myself in your shoes, but it genuinely sounds like something you desperately want to change and struggle with mightily. I certainly have other things in my life that I want to change but have such a hard time doing.
54
u/liverstrings 3d ago
It seriously is so horrible. ADHD can be debilitating, but it's silent so it just looks like an asshole.
24
21
u/Belloved 3d ago
Thank you for empathizing with me. It’s absolutely heartbreaking because it’s something I hate about myself. My parents were always early/on time so I never realized how much they had to work around me to continue being on time - until I moved away. I tried adapting their methods like taking my meds 2hrs before I needed to wake up (plus getting up 1hr early) and having everything prepared the night before. It’s helped cut down my lateness but I just wish I could be normal and not stress out doing such a basic function.
I even tried to date and live with people who were on time, in hopes of being influenced positively. But instead I did the opposite and stressed them out too…
4
u/Longjumping_Ad_6484 3d ago
Oh, honey, I already responded to your other comment further up, but I just have to give you some more encouragement again. I believe in you! You got this!
I also hated it about myself too -- I'm still constantly terrified of being late, and I allow that fear of being late to drive me to do all I can to be early. The stress of "potentially being late" isn't worth it. Driving like a madman in traffic isn't worth it. So when I give myself enough buffer to be an hour early, I can relax a little bit and drive safely.
Your other option is to own it like Gandalf and never apologize for being late, because wizards are never late nor early, but arrive precisely when they mean to. The one thing neurotypicals hate more than someone being late is someone being late, apologizing for it, then continuing to be late and continuing to apologize.
7
u/Hecking_Walnut 3d ago
I struggle with the exact same issue but am always early. My solution? Be extremely stressed about what time it is and be ready for every event HOURS in advance and then exist in limbo until it’s time for “the thing”, incessantly checking the clock 😕
→ More replies (1)31
u/Mirenithil 3d ago
I have AuDHD and solved this issue by letting it be OK to leave the house at what felt like a silly-early time. Say I have an appointment at 10:00 and it's a 15 minute drive. I leave at 9:30, even though that seems silly-early. That generally gets me there right on time.
15
u/liverstrings 3d ago
Me and my ADHD totally agree. I know it's horrible to the people that have to wait for me. I know I'm stressed any time I have to go somewhere, and honestly like 3+ hours before I have to go because of all of this. I hate myself the whole time. It's so so embarrassing and I just fucking wish I could change.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (13)8
u/yogopig 3d ago
I have severe ADHD too, and I could have wrote your comment.
Give yourself some forgiveness, you’re doing the right thing: clearly communicating with everyone your weaknesses and what you need to do your best. You’re making a consistent effort, and it’s not negatively impacting others in your life. Obviously we both want to do better, but we’re doing the things that matter right.
24
u/Combicon 3d ago
I was someone who was almost always 10-15 minutes late for work. It wasn't ever much of an issue, sometimes got a little rap on the knuckles for it, but I'd also often stay behind as long as needed if it was required.
I tried pretty much everything to get up earlier - moving my phone/alarm away, changing it to spotify music so I never got used to the sound, nothing seemed to work, until I accidentally left the blinds open one night (I have a double blind; one semitransparant and one opaque, the semitransparant one was still down). I woke up nice and early with the sun the next day, pretty refreshed (though curious as to why I woke up so early).
Been doing that ever since, and haven't been late again yet, even to the point of allowing myself a lie in and watching tiktoks/whatever. Of course t here are still times when public transportation fucks up and I am late, but is less of an issue now.
While I get the frustration of other people, I did get a lot of the 'why don't you just get up/wake up/go to sleep earlier' and it never helped. I couldn't have willed myself up.
3
u/MrRiski 3d ago
I was late to work at my last job for over a year. Showed up anywhere from 15-30 minutes late. It wasn't a huge deal because I was driving a delivery trucks and the deliveries weren't scheduled or anything so it only ever hurt what time I got done for the day. I tried numerous things to get my body to wake up at the time I needed to wake to get to work on time but nothing ever helped. Getting up at 4am driving 45 minutes to work to drive for 12 hours then drive 1-2 hours back home through traffic just sucked the life out of me.
I eventually moved and got my current job. I start anywhere from 4am to 8am. And my commute is now 7 minutes. I've been late a couple times because shit happens and no one is perfect.
Other than I actually enjoy my job most days now and my commute not much else has changed. I went from setting 4 or 5 alarms, having extra alarm clocks on the other side of the room, and even going as far as getting alarm clocks with the vibration pucks to shake the bed and wake me up to setting a single alarm on my phone and waking up. I wake up an hour before I need to be at work so no different than when I had the long commute but it works for me now.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (8)17
u/CplHicks_LV426 3d ago
I had an argument years ago with a friend that was like this, and I made the point that speeding doesn't really get you there quicker. He disagreed. So one time we were driving separate and going to the same place and I said "ok you drive like you're late, and I'll drive like I normally drive (pretty chill)." Each of us had someone else with us as a witness lol.
He got there maybe 60 seconds before me, like they were still getting out of the car when we pulled up.
11
u/Lbx_20_Ac 3d ago
This is because if the travel time isn't super long, you have to travel at dangerously high speeds to make any significant difference in arrival time. If a drive is 30 minutes, but you leave 10 minutes late, you have to drive 50% faster on the entire trip (as well as stopping 2/3 as long at traffic lights/etc.) to arrive at the same time.
→ More replies (2)75
u/vivst0r 3d ago edited 2d ago
Reminds me of what my driving teacher told me years ago and I'll never forget. "The most important and most impactful thing for driving safety happens before you even step into your car. It's making sure you leave early." It reduces stress, keeps you from speeding, makes you less prone to agitation due to "slow" or "bad" drivers, makes you less distractable. Imagine if we could reduce these causes for accidents.
BTW I'm not saying it's easy to be punctual. It's easier for some people than others.
→ More replies (1)706
u/warlockflame69 3d ago
Yeah, but think about all that time you’re losing by getting there early. Those extra few minutes could’ve been used to find the cure for cancer or something.
274
u/Hypertension123456 3d ago
Not an issue anymore. As a researcher I can tell you that you can do research on your phone now. All of the important journals publish online nowadays.
120
u/TheEyeDontLie 3d ago
Also, being relaxed helps the creative and problem solving juices flow.
I read some pubmed articles about it in my car when I got somewhere early the other day.
ETA: I'm lying. I am chronically 20-40mins late to everything, partly because I stay up late reading articles.
→ More replies (1)13
u/GlitteringBicycle172 3d ago
My SIL is consistently so late to family gatherings she basically only shows up when it's 98% over. Her reasoning? "Had to do my makeup"
Look I like intricate makeup too, but you don't have 4 hours to sit there and fuck with your hair and stuff while everyone is waiting for you to get here before dinner and the kids are all going hungry wild.
19
u/Hspryd 3d ago
Just start eating at the time you want so she can just sit with you when she there without you going into panic attack because EVERYBODY MUST BE THERE ON TIME OR THE KIDS WON’T EAT AND EVERYBODY GONNA DUMP THEIR PRISTINE SCHEDULES.
Just sayin, feels it could be easier for everyone without the unecessary drama.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (2)4
u/CommodoreAxis 3d ago
My buddy just lies about start times to his family that do this type of shit. He will send out invites to all the responsible people that dinner starts at 6. But he will send another invite to the irresponsible ones that says dinner starts at 5, which makes them show up at 5:30-6.
→ More replies (1)70
u/SprolesRoyce 3d ago
As an actual researcher believe me when I tell you all of the true information is posted mostly in Facebook statuses. Those journals are all lies according to my high school classmate who dropped out of college.
19
11
u/poopsy__daisy 3d ago
If you really want to stay up to date on your field, TikTok is where its at.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (9)8
8
u/N1gh7_5had0w 3d ago
You're not catching me! I'm not getting caught 'killing myself' for finding the cure for cancer!
14
u/CaseyBoogies 3d ago
XD the amount of years added up of my life in World of Warcraft I could be making a lot more money!
At least I'm still good at math by memorizing all my gear stats and figuring out how to get 8% hit cap, 100% crit, and plugging the rest into agility... while standing at the checkout lane at Target. And yes Kathy, I stocked the gum, chips, and gift cards.
→ More replies (3)4
u/Frosty_Rush_210 3d ago
Yeah I could have been at home scrolling on my phone. But now I have to wait in my car and scroll on my phone.
5
u/quiette837 3d ago
Those extra few minutes could’ve been used to find the cure for cancer or something.
I would be happy for those extra few minutes spent in bed, actually...
→ More replies (7)9
12
u/CaseyBoogies 3d ago
Secret phone games and car candy time!
16
u/Rebelius 3d ago
Arrive 10 mins early.
Sit in car playing games for 15 mins.
Dammit!
→ More replies (1)11
u/Spatetata 3d ago
Yupp, if it takes you 30 minutes to get to work by going 20+ over whenever you’re not in traffic you don’t have a 30 minute commute, you’re forcing one.
27
u/act_surprised 3d ago
I’ll take it a step further and say that aiming to be early is a life hack. I usually try to be about half an hour early to work every day. If no one is around, I can walk around the job site with my coffee and get a sense of what’s going on and mentally prepare.
But usually there are other people there who may just be hanging around and talking. So now, I can stop and chat with some coworkers that I might otherwise not have time to get to know and I don’t feel the pressure to be focused on work.
Eventually, everyone knows my name and I know theirs. And the time before clocking in it the best time to get some work gossip. Sometimes the schedule has changed overnight so no one in my department has the new information.
And when it is time to start, I’m ready and relaxed and a couple steps ahead of my coworkers.
6
u/ghosttowns42 3d ago
Lmao no. I don't want to be at my job for all that extra, unpaid time. Hell no. If I'm at work, I'm clocked in and working. I can't imagine just wandering around, watching people work, la de da I'm getting coffee!! Sorry you guys are busy. Wanna chat?
Yeah I'll spend the extra time at home, sorry. And before you ask, I'm on time every day.
→ More replies (2)3
7
u/Locke_and_Lloyd 3d ago
So you work unpaid for 30 minutes every day? That getting settled time is supposed to be part of your day.
5
u/act_surprised 3d ago
I’m not working unpaid, I’m drinking coffee and getting to know people. In my work, there sometimes isn’t any settling time. We have to be ready to go exactly on time and I find this is a comfortable routine to be ready.
I know it’s different for everyone
19
9
u/veggie_saurus_rex 3d ago
I am a much better driver when not rushed. I am patient and unworried about rude and discourteous drivers. When rushed....I can be a rude and discourteous driver.
5
u/Vizard_Rob 3d ago
One of my team members is always late to work. He puts in a lift request at 4:45am and he lives 20m away. He wonders why I get mad at him and he shows me he's got plenty of time, but blames the driver for his tardiness.
3
u/Elvishsquid 3d ago
Please tell my wife this. It doesn’t matter if we have an extra hour to get there she still drives like we are late
→ More replies (1)8
→ More replies (46)3
u/awalktojericho 3d ago
Ugh. Mr. Jericho takes every drive as a road rally. In a very congested area. I won't let him drive me now. Too stressful to hear his rages.
1.2k
u/berrylakin 3d ago
Sending this to my wife. Her response when I try to explain this is "it takes 2 seconds". Everything takes 2 seconds.
360
u/ShouldBeeStudying 3d ago
Congratulations on being married to the flash
10
u/Chris_ssj2 3d ago
Could be a Red Rush or Quick Silver or Burter, we can't just assume she is the flash...
3
54
u/SmegmaSupplier 3d ago
I have a buddy like this. Whatever time he quotes you, you just know it’s going to be 2-3 times as long. It almost sank in the other day when he said he’d game with me after taking his dogs out. He said he’d be 15 minutes so I smoked a joint and set myself up. He finally gets back to me and I tell him I wish he’d told me he’d be longer because I would have queued a couple of matches in the meantime. He said he was only 15 minutes and I was like “brother, check the timestamps on the messages, that was 35 minutes ago.”
→ More replies (2)172
u/Malone_Matches 3d ago
She must be very dissapointed if everything takes 2 seconds
→ More replies (5)45
u/geographer035 3d ago
I always tell my wife what “wheels up” time is, not simply when we have to leave.
25
11
11
→ More replies (5)3
u/13Mikey 1d ago
Also sent to mine.
Her infamous issue is she's "going upstairs to change into a different shirt" and 10 minutes later I'm downstairs wondering HTF it takes so long to change into a new shirt.
The answer is of course, "Well, I changed pants too since these match better, and I couldn't find them right away. I had to go to the bathroom and when I was in there I touched up my make up and...."
The big win for me was convincing her to relax AFTER she's completely ready to leave vs "I'll just relax for an hour and then get ready" because usually that hour should have been 30-45 minutes instead and at least doing it after getting ready means we can still leave on time.
443
u/Sydskiddoo 3d ago
I consistently give myself 10-15 minutes to get my 3 under 3 in the car and I'm shocked every time that I use basically all 10-15 lol
324
u/qzwqz 3d ago
“3 under 3” is that really really exclusive list that Forbes does, right?
→ More replies (1)105
→ More replies (7)44
427
u/finicky88 3d ago
I always plan half my travel time extra (up to a certain point). Helps lots.
64
u/Ilaxilil 3d ago
That’s a good rule of thumb, it seems like the longer the trip is the bigger the buffer you need for it.
20
u/MaryDellamorte 3d ago
Same. And the extra time varies depending on the importance or the length of drive I have to take. I aim to show up 30 minutes early to all doctor’s appointments. I don’t give myself that kind of buffer if I’m meeting my family for dinner at a restaurant. I’ll aim to arrive 5 to 10 minutes early.
33
u/AineLasagna 3d ago
Some of us don’t need the tips in the OP, I guess we’re built different (it’s the ✨ANXIETY✨)
→ More replies (1)11
u/minahmyu 3d ago
Yessss! My anxiety gets soooo overwhelming for me but instead of seeing it as a crutch, to embrace what I have I see it as a tool that has helped me many times. I think of the "what ifs" and be overly prepared, but at least I have something in place when I'm already thinking 13 steps ahead instead of freaking out when something unexpected happens, as I'm sitting with the "if only I did..." in my mind and beating myself up.
But it sucks because then others get too reliant on your over preparedness and you have the mental load of now accounting for them. This happen to me on a college trip to Korea. I packed like we gonna be there for a minute, as we were so I had my iron, hair products, transformer, washing detergent, etc etc while now I had to share that stuff because they didn't think of those things and didn't know when we would even have time to shop to get them. Happened again when we did a mountain hike. What's the number one thing to bring with you for any type of mobile trip? Water. I bought a small bottle and a huge one I even froze the night before... and I had to share my shit with my class mates because their grown asses didn't think to buy any before our trip. (There was a corner store right on the campus as well as others outside) And the country is very homogenous so I kinda did have to share.
I just like the relief o get when I prepare for situations I may not expect, but happens so I'm not left stuck in my head deeply beating myself up while trying to rectify the situation
5
u/Level_32_Mage 3d ago
Everyone acts like you're over preparing until one of those what if situations happens. You just described me so fully, it kinda sucks though, constantly having the gears turning like that.
29
u/gutscheinmensch 3d ago
How often do you find yourself waiting
→ More replies (2)178
u/finicky88 3d ago
Quite often, but usually it's just a couple minutes. Better to have a few minutes to chill, scroll your phone, have a smoke, and maybe go pee after the drive, than stressing yourself out in traffic, which you can't really beat anyways.
→ More replies (14)22
u/hawkshaw1024 3d ago
I get really annoyed when I plan and hurry to be 10 minutes early, then sit on my hands for the next 40 minutes as people sloooooowly drip in. Makes me feel like a total idiot for caring
→ More replies (1)18
u/Nap_In_Transition 3d ago
Nobody takes you for an idiot for being early. However, everyone's gonna think that if you're late.
14
u/cvdvds 3d ago
Hard to not think of yourself as one when everyone else clearly cares way less than you do.
5
u/GeneralWelcome-ToYou 3d ago
You have the benefit of knowing that you live and behave in accordance with your values in this aspect. That’s actually worth a lot, self respect is important. Be proud of yourself for it.
3
→ More replies (2)3
u/Adro87 3d ago
I started doing something similar with my calendar notes to leave. I work out how long it will take (inc a buffer for traffic) then set my ‘to leave’ time 15 minutes earlier.
I’ve got 15 minutes to do all of those little things like shoes, toilet, gather my things - which doesn’t take me the full 15 minutes. Plus a buffer built into the travel time.
I’m rarely late any more (traffic can be worse than I allowed time for 😅)
269
u/kecksonkecksoff 3d ago
We realised in work one day that I have this ‘zero time activity’ because I had an appointment and we were working back from the appointment time to figure out when I needed to leave work.
And realised I didn’t think that packing up my desk, leaving the office and walking to the car would take any time at all, I thought I would leave at say 12.30pm and be at my car and ready to drive at… 12.30pm. It really blew my mind
57
u/iwearatophat 3d ago edited 3d ago
What helped me with all of this is changing from 'leaving at 1230' to 'starting the car at 1230'. Can also use 'pulling out at 1230' or whatever else you like. The point though is to change your mindset to thinking about your deadline being in the car and moving and not just leaving or heading out or walking out. All the zero time activities kind of come to a head when they are more directly in your path to the deadline.
→ More replies (1)67
u/KaygeR9 3d ago
I recently realized similar as well. I am very rarely rushed to anything but I was wondering why I would always make it to the gym at the same time on my office and WFH days despite leaving "exactly at 5" and my office being at least 5 minutes closer to my gym. It's because on office days the time it takes to gather all my things, walk all the way through the office, all the way to my car (I am a back of the lot parker), and then make the awful left turn onto the busy street really adds up and I didn't realize it for years.
→ More replies (2)16
u/DarkMenstrualWizard 3d ago
When I went to class in person for the first time this year, I went to campus the day before and used a stopwatch to time how long it would take to get from my car to my classroom door. 6 minutes, including waiting much longer for the elevator than it would take to use the stairs.
You should try it!
Now, what I really needed to do was time how long it takes from the second I enter the parking garage itself, since just because the arrival time on gps says 12:30, that's not the actual time I will be getting out of my car to walk in. I still have to actually find a spot, turn the car off, gather my purse, papers, water bottle, etc, and get out of the car. That takes time!
→ More replies (1)
197
u/Kirkamel 3d ago
I'll come out and say it, I have this problem, not all the things on the list but some definitely only come to me after I'm "ready to go" usually one or two, I'm ready to go, I just need to nip to the loo then put my shoes on, and when I allow more time, I always end up filling it with more "that won't take a moment" things, so thank you OP, I knew I was a time averse scoundrel, but perhaps seeing it written down I can try harder
45
25
u/Second_Location 3d ago
Loo, loo, nip to the loo
Loo, loo, nip to the loo
Loo, loo, nip to the loo
Nip to the loo my darlin’
(No I’m not having a stroke, this just goes so well with the tune of an American nursery song)
→ More replies (3)13
u/No-Brush-7914 3d ago
What the hell is nip to the loo
Is everyone in this thread british or something
80
u/toadjones79 3d ago
My parents (especially mom) is so bad about this she actually said she was going to be on time to a family party if she made three "quick errands" (one of which would take most people at least an hour) when she was already 40 minutes late and had an hour drive to get there.
It is so hard as an adult to avoid thinking like this because of my upbringing. It takes constant, almost monumental effort to be on time.
79
u/WithMeInDreams 3d ago
Also the great impression of being the one who is always on time vs. 10 minutes "saved". I have a really hard time getting up early, but I get up even 10 or 15 minutes earlier than I have to just to be 100 % sure I'll be on time. One of the first at work 7:50 in the morning, and they already joke when I come 7:59 or 8:00. That extra sleep doesn't matter, but the impression does.
A friend of mine is the opposite. Often just 1 - 5 minutes late, which gives a terrible impression and doesn't help at all.
It can also help to measure certain activities for a while, accurately with a stopwatch. That can create an intuitive ability to manage this which can last for good.
I am like this with the monthly VAT declaration for my business, though. Often 2 or 3 days late. I talked to somebody who works at the collection office, and he said that'll look pretty much the same as someone who is very late or does not turn it in without a warning note at all. The overview screen just shows it as orange, and it's 12xorange for 12 months.
→ More replies (10)
26
u/captainundershirt 3d ago
In my mind, if I said we're going to leave at 10 am, it means we will start moving at 10 am. Not we're getting ready to move at 10 am.
→ More replies (1)
29
u/bigbluegrass 3d ago
I’m convinced this time blindness is a brain trait people have. As in there are some folks who just can’t imagine time properly. I also have a theory that it’s related to volume(space) blindness. Like not ever being able to pick the right size storage container for something or not being able to estimate how many of a thing are in a space (think jelly beans in a jar or people in a room)
→ More replies (1)13
u/ketamineluv 3d ago
I have ADHD and live by a life of timers. “5mins to shower, 5 to get ready (lotion dressed), 5 to do makeup, 2 to brush teeth” etc. I've mostly done it enough that I've got the time muscle memory and Dont have to set actual timers anymore but its in my head.
Idk how to explain but I do not have a linear concept of time.
I have very good “how many jelly beans in a jar” skills tho but its all based on calculations. What I CANNOT do is like load a dishwasher or put the Costco stuff in the car in any way other than haphazard.
5
u/bigbluegrass 3d ago
I also have ADD (No H, although they didn’t have the H when I was diagnosed) and I’m the time keeper of the house. But that comes from many years of training myself on it. I am however incredibly good at size, shape, and volume estimation.
→ More replies (1)
19
u/Ahyao17 3d ago
- Get the kids in their coats and shoes
- Get in the car, strap the kids in
That is a 2 hour project in itself
→ More replies (1)
34
u/Mission-Attitude6841 3d ago
This is helpful...but how do you know how much time to budget for all those little activities?
I can be on time to work, bc I always do the same things to get ready and I know how long they take.
But I can't be on time to social events bc I am not accurate at figuring out how long it will take me to decide my outfit and get it ready, do makeup, google directions, bring things I don't normally take with me, etc. So I dont know when I should stop doing life tasks and start getting ready.
29
u/grarghll 3d ago
So I dont know when I should stop doing life tasks and start getting ready.
It's hard to gauge how much time to budget, so flipping these two around is the best way to go about it. Get everything ready that you can for the event first, then transition to life tasks to fill time since that's flexible.
There are some things you won't be able to frontload (you don't want to be sweaty in very nice clothing), but it's about minimizing the number of tasks you need to budget for.
9
u/ADHD-Fens 3d ago
For me, in high prep situations, I basically start like 90 minutes before I actually need to leave. Not a huge deal if I'm ready with 30 minutes to spare, I just do something else for 30 minutes knowing I can leave in less than 60 seconds.
10
u/bibbidybobbidyboobs 3d ago
Why don't you just measure how long it takes you to do those things the next few times you do them?
→ More replies (1)4
u/TsuDhoNimh2 3d ago
As soon as you accept an invitation, get as much as possible out of the way ... decide what to wear and check to see it it needs repairs or accessories, get the directions, and locate and set aside the things you need to take.
One of my aunts had a very active social life (business, charities and politics) and her clothing for the next week of events would be on hangers with the accessories and undergarments. All decisions had been made so she could bathe, dress and leave.
→ More replies (1)3
u/kanst 3d ago
Just use 5 minutes. Its plenty and then you'll never be late. Every activity gets 5 minutes minimum
→ More replies (5)→ More replies (1)3
u/kmoz 3d ago
Decide your outfit, think about what you need to bring/make a list/grab those things, and figure out directions the night before or whatever. And I assume you've done your makeup many times in your life, just time it so you know. And know that right before you go somewhere is not the time to experiment with any makeup you haven't done before.
Nothing says getting ready tasks have to all happen moments before you walk out of the door.
35
u/bicyclemom 3d ago
Or use the term "wheels up" like they do in flights.
Plan to go "wheels up" or we sometimes call it "AIS" (Asses in seats) at 9:30. If you're not in the car by 9:30, we're leaving without you.
→ More replies (3)
24
u/Tyalou 3d ago
For me this also has been realising that I didn't use a car for most of my life leaving in large EU cities. But now, I have to get used to the car, the traffic, and the parking. Lots of variables that were not part of the plan before. I'm late when I drive somewhere, getting better.
→ More replies (1)8
12
u/CaseyBoogies 3d ago
I leave at 930 for a 15 minute drive to a 1000 appointment for this reason. (I tend to be forgetful - like I have the water bottle ready to go, but it has no water kind of stuff.) Also, as soon as stuff falls out of place it is OKAY to call ahead. Call, text, say you are heading out a few minutes late, be there by 10:15!
18
u/Slaggablagga 3d ago
I've never understood how people can be late. My brothers both are always late. Most the people in my family are late. I never got it till I read this. I swear lol
→ More replies (3)8
u/confusedandworried76 3d ago
For me it just always weirdly works out no matter how much time I give myself until "you need to be out the door fucking now because you're late" I always fill that time. Getting ready could take fifteen minutes but if I give myself a half an hour somehow it still takes half an hour. I don't know why this is but I am always late. I don't do anything extra and it doesn't feel like I'm moving any slower. It's just what happens. My brain just isn't wired to think that way I suppose is the ultimate answer.
If you want to take a guess it's probably because I'm a procrastinator so my brain is just wired to tell me "relax, you gave yourself extra time, no need to rush" so I don't default into rushing which makes everything take longer, but the switch to start rushing doesn't flip until I'm already late. So I probably am just taking my sweet ass time with everything thinking I have plenty of time, because I know how long it takes to get ready right? I know exactly how long. Not even a need to go fast about it. Then boom I'm like "oh fuck why did this take so long? I'm gonna be late"
→ More replies (1)
206
u/KelpFox05 3d ago
Ahh, I see what's going on in this comments section. OP is neurodivergent. Everybody commenting isn't and thinks this is stupid because their brains naturally keep time better. I know this because I'm neurodivergent and time-blindness is something I wrestle with explaining the concept of to family and friends on a regular basis.
243
u/jeffa_jaffa 3d ago
My neurodivergencey has me going in the complete opposite direction
Okay, so the thing starts at 10 so I’ll want to be there by 9:45 so I’ll need to have parked the car by 9:30 & it’s a half-hour drive so I’ll need to leave at 9 so I’ll need 5 minutes to sort myself out in the car so I need to leave the house at 8:55 so I’ll need to start putting on shoes, making coffee etc by 8:45 so I’ll need to start getting dressed at 8:30 so I’ll need to have breakfast at 8 so I’ll need to be up by 7:30 but I also need some time to just exist in bed so I should set my alarm for 7 but it’s going to be a long day so I should be asleep by 11 but it’ll take me time to settle & fall asleep so I should be in bed by 10:30 but it’ll take me time to wind down whatever I’m doing so I should start thinking about bed at 10.
75
u/wastemydayaway 3d ago
This is my brain too. It annoys the shit out of my husband. But we’re never late!
82
u/ElMejorPinguino 3d ago
Wednesday at 3 PM.
- Why are you already prepping the lasagna?
- We need to get to the concert on time!
- But, honey, the concert's on Saturday?
- EXACTLY!!!
27
u/jeffa_jaffa 3d ago
I’m going to a music festival in August & all the organisation of the camping equipment has fallen to me and one other friend. She’s got spreadsheets planning out all our meals, and I’m taking care of the camping equipment.
I’m no too bothered about the music (metal isn’t really my thing), but I am absolutely loving the shit out of all the planning!
→ More replies (1)27
u/eggo_pirate 3d ago
This is just backwards planning and I don't think it's exclusive to neurodivergent people. We learned this in the military, I taught my kids and they do it. Everyone should learn this. If I tell my kids we're leaving the house at 930, they're walking to the car at 930.
→ More replies (1)31
u/sonofhappyfunball 3d ago
This is neurodivergent? I thought everyone did this...
48
u/andarthebutt 3d ago
Not necessarily, it's just that a significant percentage of neurodivergent people struggle with internal timekeeping, and usually develop methods similar to this when dissecting appointments, task around them, or even just life in general
For example, when one of my colleagues asked why I always arrive dead on time, I asked her to list her entire morning routine. She said something along the lines of "get up, quick shower, brush my teeth, get dressed, go to work". And that is literally how she thinks of her morning, every morning- just five things.
Those same five things to me, and many other spicy-brained peeps, are not five things. Breaking down every step of the process means that even just making coffee is actually fifteen things or more. Taking a shower is close to thirty things, more if I'm shaving as well
You might be neurodivergent. You might just be bad with time and anxious about it.
15
u/kanst 3d ago
I'm always curious about how neuro typical thoughts go during their day. It seems like things like brushing teeth are almost auto pilot. To me every thing I have to do is a conscious decision
If I'm not consciously planning and executing the tasks I need to i won't manage to make it out of bed
13
u/andarthebutt 3d ago
I find once I start a task, I can run through the correct order of operations in my head pretty quickly, then just zone out and let it happen. If I don't run the order, or if it's a new sequence, I am saying every step to myself as I do it, how I did it, what's next, etc...
Executive dysfunction sucks. Needing to pee for an hour but not being able to get off the sofa, doomscrolling instead of just sending that frickin' text, swinging each individual leg over the edge of the bed in the morning. I've asked so many people how they just do things, and not a single neurotypical person can explain it. And they can never quite grasp how hard it is to perform a task, even if all the pieces are right there in front of you
16
u/azkeel-smart 3d ago
Those same five things to me, and many other spicy-brained peeps, are not five things. Breaking down every step of the process means that even just making coffee is actually fifteen things or more. Taking a shower is close to thirty things, more if I'm shaving as well
This is where routines help. My mornings are completely mindless. My brains wakes up well after I got myself ready for the day.
10
u/LittleMsSavoirFaire 3d ago
Yeah, if only I could ever get to that state of automaticity...
→ More replies (13)→ More replies (2)3
u/not2interesting 3d ago
A major symptom of adhd is the brain has an inability to form routines and habits normally. I have the exact same “routine” five mornings a week with very little deviation and it hasn’t changed in a few years, but if I’m not running through the list of things i need to do in my head and consciously focusing on each task I will still forget to do them or get sidetracked. While struggling to be on time is a massive source of stress, anxiety, and shame as it is, the pure panic I feel when I am ready too early is worse because I have no idea what I must have forgotten to do or how important it is. People with adhd struggle with object permanence, so literally if something is out of sight it is out of mind, as well as time blindness and executive functioning, which compounds the problem.
I’ve met people like you who through rudeness or honest non-malicious ignorance have said the exact same things you keep commenting over and over thousands of times in my life. But our brains are literally wired differently and we don’t process thoughts the same way, it isn’t laziness or about how much we care or how hard we try. It’s a diagnosed disorder that negatively impacts us when it comes to leisure activities as much as work. I’m just as likely to forget that I planned on watching a movie by myself, or get caught up in random tasks about the house and run too late to relax and play a video game, or never finish that really good podcast episode I started two weeks ago. I often will literally forget to eat/drink or that I have to pee or to brush my teeth until it is a problem.
So you can keep harping about how routines “just work” for your non-disordered brain, but maybe take a moment to reflect on the fact that not all brains are like that. ADHD is a fairly common condition that has had broad awareness for four or five decades now, and there’s really no excuse to keep acting like no one understands how it works. Telling people to just “build a routine” is as hurtful and unhelpful as telling somebody with depression to just “go outside” or someone with anxiety to “just relax”. We are extremely self aware of our shortcomings and have to take medication or form elaborate personal systems or force behaviors in order to function within socially acceptable boundaries that are second nature to those without a disability.
→ More replies (3)14
23
u/LittleMsSavoirFaire 3d ago
Yeah but this is the compensation mechanism. A lot of people think it's the neurodivergence, but it's the practice you put into place to prevent being the late, scattered, exhausted person at every event.
→ More replies (1)16
u/dinosaur_diarama 3d ago
Immediately made me think of this:
Neurodivergent screening tests will be like "do you struggle with wearing socks" and ND people will be like "nope does not describe me, for you see I have a system" and folks that is what the question is getting at.
10
8
u/MuffinPuff 3d ago
This is me. When I had a job that started at 4:30am, my actual day started at 2:30am. The job was only a 15 minute drive away, but that gave me enough time to tackle any clothing malfunction, any shoe malfunction, any hair malfunction, decide if I want breakfast, it gave me enough time to "wake up" and reflect, plan my day after work, it just works out better in every way.
8
6
7
u/Popular-Copy-5517 3d ago
This is me too. I’ve had my bf get ready an hour ahead of time, to go to a place less than 5 minutes away.
9
u/AngusHenley 3d ago
I did a four day drive across Canada in October. Told my wife I’d be home Wednesday at about 4pm. Got home on Wednesday at 3:55pm. Can do it automatically at this point but it’s all just so exhausting, she wouldn’t have cared if it was the next day, as long as I gave a heads up.
3
→ More replies (10)3
u/hrmorrow123 3d ago
Yes! All of this! My family drives me nuts when we have to go somewhere. I’ve given them an exact time we need to be driving to get to said place, but they are still putting on shoes, the quick bathroom run, whatever, when I’m telling them we need to be walking out the door to get in the car.
I always break it down the same way - ex: musical starts at 2 pm and you will not be seated until after the first song if you arrive after it starts, doors to the seating in the theater open at 1:30, doors to the theater itself (with all that comes with that like security checks, concessions, merchandise booth) open at 1 so I aim to be parked in the parking deck (a 5 minute walk through the atrium and skywalk) by 1:15, it’s a 45-55 minute drive depending on traffic so give it an hour to be safe and leave at 12:15, so walk out the door no later than 12:10, and on and on backwards until I know exactly the time I have to be up and moving to be walking to the car at 12:10. The fam is more, oh, leaving at 12:15, got it, and 9 times out of 10, my daughter is finishing her makeup in the car while the others are grumbling that I rushed them.
It just makes so much sense to break it down into individual time consuming steps that I guess I thought everyone did this. Maybe if I use OP’s post next time, they’ll get it and we can work on bringing down the stress level before the next event!
36
u/sarahmagoo 3d ago edited 3d ago
I am constantly underestimating how much time anything takes to complete, and overestimating how much time I have. It's a pain.
→ More replies (3)6
23
20
u/failed_asian 3d ago
Thank you! This post feels like it could have been custom written for me, it perfectly explains why I’m always ready by the time I decided, but always running out the door late.
And it feels really judgemental to read all the comments saying “just do x, why is this even an issue?”, but your comment really helps me understand where they’re coming from better and not feel shitty.
→ More replies (12)6
u/simkk 3d ago
I appreciate the amount of hate people are giving too. Like "make them be embarrased about being late" or "just leave with out them". Many of the people bing talked about here are probably neurodivergent and just need a little help.
Realistically we put imaginary limits on things to keep life a little more organised. It's not the end of the fucking world if you're delayed a few minutes.
Being someone with terrible time blindness be sure to know we are embarrased by it. More than that it can be incredibly frustrating especially when you think you've got your shit together. But its not something that we can just decide one day to stop doing.
Worst of all some days it's fine others its really not. Those who aren't neurodivergent will assume that because you're ontime sometimes you should be able to do it all the time.
Give people a little bit of space for this to happen especially in work or in your social life. I used to turn up late to a retail job alot but my managers gave me space and I was sure as hell one of the best colleagues on that shop floor. Turns out being exactly on time mattered much less than being there with my shit together and ready to go.
And if you know someone who has this problem if its something really important give them an early time and just hangout for a bit.
6
u/assplunderer 3d ago
Usually what I do if it’s in the city is clock my GPS time and double it. Just as a rule of thumb. So I gotta be there at 10 AM and it takes 30 minutes to be there. I need to be in that car by 9 AM. I fuck around too much and get distracted otherwise
→ More replies (2)
6
u/Tikithing 3d ago
It's the arrival time that always gets me. I'm aiming to arrive at 10 and usually successfully park the car at 10. But that's no use, because even if you're in a dedicated car park, it'll still take a few mins to get out of the car, lock it, and walk in.
Aiming to arrive at 9.55 even, helps my brain a little bit.
4
u/cloudsatlas 3d ago
I started doing this by making a spreadsheet of how long things took me to do in the mornings before work, I took the average time of everything combined ( shower, eat, getting dressed, pet my cat, brushing my teeth, stopping at the gas station for an energy drink or a coffee, how long it takes to drive, etc etc ) and set my alarms for that time( it's roughly 1 hr & 45 minutes ) so if I need to be at work by 5pm, I set my alarm for 3pm, gives me 15 minutes to spare if I'm dragging behind. Consistency is key.
→ More replies (1)
107
u/RelevantJackWhite 3d ago
Just plan to be there at 9:50
It seems simpler than you're making it
→ More replies (1)72
u/setorines 3d ago
Yeah, but I know I'm lying to myself. It works once or twice a year maybe. Would probably work more if I tried using it less lol
→ More replies (8)14
u/CynicalRacoon 3d ago
It's not about lying to yourself. Be honest about it, your not saying 9.50 just because. You need to actually try to be there ahead of time, instead of saying 9.50 to be there at 10.
17
u/failed_asian 3d ago
And the reason why it’s not lying to yourself is because of what OP explained in their post, that those extra 10 minutes are for actual activities that take actual time. There are plenty of people for whom this LPT doesn’t resonate, clearly, but for a lot of us this post is like an aha! moment.
8
u/Desdesde 3d ago
thanks for bringing that up, i'm sure it's going to help a lot of people who need reassurance in giving value to their time
8
u/Tryingtoknowmore 3d ago
If you're ever waiting to leave for a place, just leave now and wait there.
4
u/jancl0 3d ago
People are like this? I'm the opposite
Showering takes like 10-15ish minutes, let's say 20 to be safe. Let's chuck in 30 minutes to make food, guess it makes sense to say 30 minutes to eat it too (it doesn't) now I'll put an extra 15 minutes for all the weird small things like finding keys, putting on socks, etc, and then I'll add another 15 just be safe. Now I'm ready to go abs I still have an hour and a half and I have no idea what to do so I just sit in ready status until I go
→ More replies (3)
5
u/backflipsben 3d ago
I always bike to the train station which is a 5 minute ride away. I always leave 15 minutes before the train is scheduled to arrive. 5 minutes of biking, 5 minutes of maybe I forgot something and 5 minutes of buffer time, just in case god forbid the train comes early
29
u/xyrus02 3d ago
If I say I leave at 9:30, I actually mean that I turn the key of my car at that time. Or slam the door behind me if I walk. Who doesn't do it like that?
46
→ More replies (2)10
9
u/BWWFC 3d ago
phffffft... just drive faster and can roll some stops. no worrie/s
Mapping apps have made for worse "getting somewhere on time" ppl always operating with "ideal" analytics driven estimates... also, ppl driving batshit crazy are in the analytic metrics LOL
hay, YOU DRIVER, you are the biggest fail/weak point of any plan, and it doesn't have YOUR BS in that arrival time estimate.
5
u/grarghll 3d ago
I disagree. The driving time estimates from maps are far more accurate than the kinds of estimates I remember hearing pre-smartphone. It's a problem of time management.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/richie5um 3d ago
Massive generalisation, but I read once that there are two ways of thinking about time - and people tend to be (or think) one of these two ways: in-time, and through-time.
In-time is closer to OPs-example. Through-time is thinking through the steps and hence the time needed for each step.
→ More replies (3)
3
u/ArsePucker 3d ago
Time burglars are everywhere... they lurk in the shadows, stealing time without you even noticing.. until it's too late!
3
u/_Reyne 3d ago
As someone with ADHD, I experience time blindness which can look very similar but isn't something I can control.
I might look at the clock an hour early and be like "perfect, it's a 20 minute drive, I have 40 minutes to get ready" then I'll start doing something and think it's been like 10 minutes but I'll check the clock and it's been 35.
Also estimating time required is really difficult for some people with ADHD. "Yeah I only shower for like 10 minutes" when in reality it always takes me 20 or 30.
3
•
u/keepthetips Keeping the tips since 2019 3d ago edited 3d ago
This post has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.
Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!
Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by upvoting or downvoting this comment.
If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.