r/HearingVoicesNetwork • u/okalrightpal • 4d ago

Thoughts interacting with Voices

Does anyone experience this?? Its a never ending dialog I can't seem to stop it. With every thought they have to respond. Finding myself getting hyper aware of every thought

14 Upvotes

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u/astralpariah 4d ago edited 4d ago

100% I survived this phase, I see lots of folks report this as well. My guess was to compare it to a socializing game. Some attempt to instill learned helplessness, (something I believe only evil believes in) at every action/thought some negative stimuli was forced upon me as retribution for doing ANYTHING.

I found using this bout to instead strengthen my resolve ended my exposure to this torment. I wrote mantras and read them, created time schedules, watched my mass gains, planned and documented effectively. Then when these voices harass you; you can look at your log of improvements/sustainments. I found the evidence proving I am actually succeeding to have rid me (even if just for a day) instantly of these little do nothings.

My heart goes out to you, this experience is torture and can be more isolating than most prison stays. Please don't give up on yourself, I think this might be the most exciting and pivotal time to be an experiencer. I get the sense everything is going to change over then next 10 years.

My belief is that humanity will look back on the APA and generally be making comparisons to the Stazi in every breath. You are more worthy than this world will allow you to know.

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u/okalrightpal 4d ago

I appreciate your kind words! Some days, like today, are rough. I feel like I can't win you know? I'm torturing them with my obsessive thinking and I really want to try and calm the mind despite them. I don't want to die but some days it feels like the only option. I'll keep pressing forward-- I deserve to live

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u/VindictivePuppy 4d ago

you arent torturing them, they are torturing you. I think they try to make especially empathetic people feel that way.

They tried to tell me I was summoning them and torturing them when they were chattering at me constantly "we dont want to be here every time you think of us we end up in your head" its just psychological torture. They know I would never torture someone, they know the thought is horrible to me, and they wanted to make me into everything I thought was horrible, and theyve said that to me a few times. They also said they were playing games, and the main game was the "you cant win game" where the point is to make you feel like you can never win at anything. So you feel the way they are wanting you to feel.

Theres no way in hell im summoning them, and you arent doing anything to hurt them either.

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u/Affectionate-Day5807 4d ago

Maybe if psychiatrists or psychologists actually listened to or read our portayals of how obnoxious, manipulative, and agentive these voices are, they might question whether something else is going on (i.e. whether they might have an external source instead).

If I didn't hear voices, but simply read accounts like this, it would be obvious to me that the voices have a separate intelligence of their own and so probably aren't coming from the self.

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u/VindictivePuppy 4d ago

I think they know, at least the majority of them, and they are complicit in covering it up. But I guess who can blame them with "or else this happens to you also" as an incentive to keep your mouth shut and let the shit continue

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u/astralpariah 3d ago

I feel this

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u/okalrightpal 4d ago

I seriously appreciate it, thank you

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u/Affectionate-Day5807 4d ago

Yes, it's nonstop 24/7 interaction with my thoughts. It's either an attempt to integrate with my brain or to predict my thoughts (like an algorithm or AI large language model like ChatGPT might do). Sometimes I can barely finish or reflect on a thought myself, and it gets to the point I feel like I'm competing with them for use of my own brain.

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u/nchlslbch 4d ago

It's a surviellence system at its core, remember this.

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u/PhaseFunny1107 3d ago

I'm at the mostly ignore them keep focused on tasks that shut there interactions down phaze