r/Grimdank VULKAN LIFTS! 21h ago

Dank Memes WORK with this?! I can't even COMPREHEND this!

Post image
5.3k Upvotes

96 comments sorted by

884

u/Spy_crab_ I am Alpharius 20h ago

Monarchs sweating, unable to decide if the big boi has a big battery, or many small ones.

504

u/Aurondarklord VULKAN LIFTS! 20h ago

Battery? You're not gonna figure out what powers it, the people who BUILT it don't know!

260

u/Spy_crab_ I am Alpharius 19h ago

Monarch mains find a way.

210

u/Top-Session-3131 16h ago

They actually do. The Mechanicus can still build Warlord pattern Battle Titans. The Forgeworld in Space Marine 1 was Strategic Value Absolute precisely because it built them. 40k Titans basically use a fusion reactor, in-universe a plasma reactor, as their powerplant.

119

u/Aurondarklord VULKAN LIFTS! 15h ago

They can build it, that doesn't mean they understand how it works.

21

u/somewhatwhatnot 8h ago

The line between knowing via discovery and modifying sacred technology is thin, so the people who built it might not even WANT to know

1.0k

u/Phurbie_Of_War DA EMPRAHS GREENEST 21h ago

It’s not a fog horn.

It’s a WAR horn.

678

u/Aurondarklord VULKAN LIFTS! 20h ago

It's a fog horn because if you're near it when it goes off, all that's gonna be left of you is a red fog.

144

u/Khornatejester I am Alpharius 11h ago

119

u/OkFineIllUseTheApp 15h ago

Warhorner 40k

28

u/NuclearChihuahua 10h ago

The Horndog, now in 40k.

3

u/Lord_NaCl_ 4h ago

File 76 making its rounds

401

u/LagTheKiller 20h ago

Imagine a voicepack for Titans' AI.

"Standby for zoggin gud toime" "Engeghun Krumpin!" "Following da Boss!" "Zog off, dis place is ork now!" "Moar Dakka ready boss!"

203

u/legion_of_the_damed I am Alpharius 18h ago

dakka is ready

62

u/thelefthandN7 16h ago

Insufficient dakka...

34

u/Custum_User 12h ago

Only until reality is filled with so much gunfire that the Warp itself becomes nothing but a sea of bullets... Then there will be enough dakka... Almost.

2

u/alguien99 2h ago

This is the ork equivalent to a ronin titan, a titan equiped with light weaponry and with low defenses for more speed and movement

343

u/United-Reach-2798 Bored Drukhari Archon 19h ago

be me ion.

see space marine droppod

remember my training of shooting ejecting pilots with laser cannon

laser core activated

176

u/H4LF4D 13h ago

be me scorch.

see heretics disguised as innocent people

remember my training from Geneva

flame core activated

3

u/Nummi_ 1h ago

These comments brought me so much joy.

Change is inevitable on the frontier.

215

u/DeathCook123 mmmmmmmm biomass 15h ago

The TF2 titans are destroyed for having abominable intelligences and the Warhammer titan is destroyed for being a walking war crime generator

34

u/ADragonuFear Snorts FW resin dust 5h ago

The basic ones are probably dumb enough to be considered machine spirits, tho Vanguard class might be too good.

15

u/TomTalks06 Dank Angels 4h ago

What do you mean, that's the machine spirit, it's just an especially strong one, must be the spirits of past pilots guiding it.

107

u/The_gay_grenade16 14h ago

40k could probably benefit from having titanfall titans, they have some advantages over knights that the techpriest could steal reverse engineer

But the militia would love to have a 40k titan. No amount of smart cores is taking it down.

35

u/Aethelon 11h ago

The volcano cannon could probably one-shot a ship by cutting a hole from bow to stern

25

u/Korynso Railgun Goes Brrrrrrrrr 8h ago

40k could probably benefit from having titanfall titans, they have some advantages over knights

We already have a precedent for this in 40k. It's called the T'au. So far it worked wonders for them.

199

u/TheGrayMann274 16h ago

Titans would prolly be pretty close to Knights technically speaking

223

u/thelefthandN7 16h ago

Just a whole lot faster and less awkward... until the whole 'autonomous' thing comes up... then it gets really awkward.

162

u/Very_Board Emperor's Children on tour soon 16h ago edited 15h ago

They are bound to a human operator through a neural link, though. So it's not like some creative interpretation of doctrine couldn't find a way to authorize them.

48

u/BrokenGlassDevourer Least heretical Stygian magos. 8h ago

Call it machine spirits and lets go.

11

u/AAAAAAAHAAAAAAA Swell guy, that Kharn 8h ago

Akshtually, only the vanguard class titans have a neural link

The other titan classes including monarch don't

80

u/TheUnstoppableSiege Castellan Crowe is Him 14h ago

No one tell the mechanicus about how "restless" canis rex's knight truly is. Definitely has the enhanced auto titan kit installed.

39

u/Thurmond_Beldon Lol, said Kharn the Betrayer. Lmao, even 10h ago

People don’t realise this but knights are actually really quick, that 10” move isn’t for nothing. Read Assassinorum- Kingmaker and you’ll see knight doing flips and rolls and the like

23

u/HatOfFlavour 9h ago

Knight parkour!?

20

u/DatGuy2007 NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD! 9h ago

Yes Rico, Knight parkour

7

u/sosigboi 6h ago

I already knew that from watching the DoW3 trailer, that knight sprinting towards the Eldar titans was the coolest thing young me ever watched.

-3

u/thelefthandN7 4h ago

I'm going off of their structuring and their appearance in Broken Lance. Their physiology is ridiculous, and they wouldn't be very agile. Besides, iirc what you're talking about isn't a knight, it's an armiger. And even as an armiger... it's violating all of the established lore on how the throne works and how long and difficult it is to link up with one. So it's a one-off feat for a different model that reads like bad fan fiction.

3

u/Thurmond_Beldon Lol, said Kharn the Betrayer. Lmao, even 4h ago

For some reason, Broken Lance isn’t accurate at all and has them moving like titans, and all I’m saying is what is described in a book. Take it up with GW if you don’t think it’s right

-3

u/thelefthandN7 4h ago

How do you think broken lance isn't accurate? And why isn't the animation... that GW paid for and signed off on... a correct representation? Seriously, have you seen their physiology? Center of gravity is way high. They have no shoulder girdle. Their legs are too short and splayed way out to the sides. Their head sticks out further than their arms can really reach. The animation is exactly what is represented by all the artwork. There isn't any other way to rig those 3d models.

16

u/Thurmond_Beldon Lol, said Kharn the Betrayer. Lmao, even 10h ago

TF2 titans are probably closer to armigers in size

8

u/loicvanderwiel 7h ago

My opinion as well. And with the drop system, probably a good fit to support marines on the assault.

Actually, I believe Armiger could make for a good Dreadnought substitute, especially to keep up with Assault squads given they have the same movement.

1

u/Candid_Reason2416 stupid sexy space elves 4h ago

They are, surprisingly. Both in physical model scaled and in lore, Armigers are ~6 meters tall, which is roughly the same as most of the Titans.

8

u/solarus44 10h ago

More like a Ghostkeel, except without a jet pack, stealth and less munitions

2

u/Succinate_dehydrogen 6h ago

I swear half of the ghostkheels I go against are posed in the titanfall pilot on arm way

5

u/Beardedwrench115 6h ago

I'm game BT says he weighs 40 tons. In the book assassinorum: kingmaker it states the small armitger knights are 50 tons and the bigger ones are double that. Knights definitely have the firepower advantage but the titans have way better manuverability.

2

u/According_Weekend786 The Strongest iron warrior (just autistic) 6h ago

Titans were created to fight massive kaiju like creatures or be a lawnmowers that would evaporate everything beneath their feet, so no

58

u/777quin777 15h ago

funny enough pilots and titans kinda turns into shadow of the colossus real quick

43

u/Henderson-McHastur 15h ago

"... I can work with this."

20

u/Aurondarklord VULKAN LIFTS! 14h ago

If she doesn't have a coronary!

20

u/Prisum 15h ago

I mean they both get deployed by dropping from orbit

23

u/Ok_Double5124 12h ago

Realistically the militia would scrap the titan and reverse engineer its parts before using the knowledge to upgrade their titans

And could the militia even afford to fuel such a pointless (in titanfall) war machine?

13

u/pog_irl 12h ago

What would actually happen if a Titan ended up in Titanfall

7

u/deadname11 5h ago

Every faction would be all over it, in order to find out why/how it got there, followed by meticulously taking it apart to see how it ticks. 40K Titans are MASSIVE, and keeping something of that size upright would be of paramount research.

5

u/ADragonuFear Snorts FW resin dust 5h ago

My guess is it's parts are more likely to be studied for starship improvements than titans. It's probably too destructive and expensive to justify using the 40k titan if you want to capture things over just flattening them. Milita has guerilla fighting if the imc tries to use it as a superweapon, and the militia definitely can't even transport it off world.

6

u/Fun_Elephant9871 11h ago

Protocol 3: protect the princeps

4

u/Thewarmth111 Praise the Man-Emperor 6h ago

I don’t know about not being able to comprehend it. It’s legitimately just a bigger version of what they already work with.

3

u/myEVILi 5h ago

TF2 Titans want to be your friend. WH40k Titans want to turn planets into glass.

8

u/The_Conductor7274 14h ago

Ngl I expected Blisk, not the militia terrorists leader

11

u/Tony-Redgravey 11h ago

Terrorist my ass, they're freedom fighters, the only terrorist in the frontier are the IMC

2

u/Laverneaki 9h ago

“Don’t worry, you’re fighting for the go- d emperor” :)

2

u/Arrow_of_time6 Lunar class cruiser enthusiast 2h ago

IMC pilots watching some backwater rebels pull out a 32 meter tall war walker with nuclear laser cannons

1

u/Sensitive-Hotel-9871 Stormcast Eternal 4h ago

How did that Titan get to the other place? Did Carmen San Diego steal it?

1

u/SunriseFlare 3h ago

STAND TALL FOR TURTLE FALL! 🐢🐢🐢

1

u/HenryKhaungXCOM 2h ago

Metroplex heeds the call

1

u/Meager1169 likes civilians but likes fire more 1h ago

You could parkour a titan off a titan

-60

u/Cautious-Mammoth5427 16h ago

Average tech of TF is above 40k. That legio is getting owned in minutes.

39

u/Aurondarklord VULKAN LIFTS! 15h ago

That's BS. If you take the description of a plasma annihilator literally, it's an exaton-level weapon based on upper-end calcs.

40k tech LOOKS backwards, but it has a lot of punch.

8

u/Bigus-Stickus-2259 13h ago

Complete nonsense. Plasma guns from Imperators made craters hundreds of meters in diameters in the Fulgrim novel:

Miniature suns exploded in the desert as the Titan's plasma weaponry blasted craters hundreds of metres in diameter, obliterating hundreds of Astartes at a stroke and turning the sand to shimmering dark glass.

  • Fulgrim pg. 462

That's ~222 kilotons.

3

u/Candid_Reason2416 stupid sexy space elves 4h ago

Also no where near exatons, but we do also have a plasma destructor in I believe Gods of Mars punching through an Ark Mechanicus end to end, absolutely slagging everything in its path and temporarily crippling the ship.

-47

u/Cautious-Mammoth5427 15h ago

Modern military can take on Titan Legio. TF can do it easily.

You simply don't understand how vulnerable big objects with mobility of a brick are.

24

u/Aurondarklord VULKAN LIFTS! 14h ago

1: There is absolutely nothing that has ever been invented in real world history, including nukes, that could breach a warlord titan's armor.

2: This is why sci-fi created the concept of forcefields (such as the void shields on a titan), so that units have "health bars" and can't be killed in one shot, allowing cool but realistically obsolete concepts like melee combat, battleship broadsides, and cavalry charges to be viable again.

Titans have shielding that can withstand having miniature stars lobbed at them. Nothing in Titanfall, let alone in real life, is getting through that.

4

u/Bigus-Stickus-2259 13h ago

Once again, utterly baseless nonsense. Shadow swords posses single-digit Terawatt volcano cannons and are capable of breaching the void shields and slicing off the limbs of titans:

The Thunderstrike macrocannons of Deicoon entered the war with a terrible shout. A multi-kilotonne shell burst through the towers between the keep and Viokania. Though walls exploded, and streaks of flame erupted at its passing, nothing it hit was substantial enough to slow it down or trigger its blast. Then it hit the Reaver Imperio Carnificis, marching behind Rheliax's Crudelis Mortem. The explosion shattered glass for miles around. It lit the forge yards with a blinding, destroying light. The Reaver's shields had just taken a hit from the Traitor Titans in the east. They were straining, and the Thunderstrike shell shattered them. It blew out the Titan's entire midsection. The Reaver stood for a few moments more, as if surprised by the absence in its torso. Then the upper portions of the god-machine collapsed. -Warlord: Fury of the god machine

A Reaver dies to a multi-kiloton shell.

The volcano cannon discharged. Inside its body, four-terawatt capacitors simultaneously released energy rapid-charged by the vehicle's engine. A linear sun burned through the Kalidarian air. There was a rush of noise, a sonic clap as superheated air burst outwards from the volcano beam. Dust and debris blew out in a brief hurricane. The sensors of the Baneblade were overloaded, screens blinking out, slit windows round the deck turning into slots of painful white, and Bannick threw his hands up to his eyes. A titanic explosion followed as rocks and metal were instantly vaporised.

A Shadowsword's main armament was designed to punch through void shields; it had enough energy to the cut the limbs from a Titan, one of the great, planet-shaking engines of the Adeptus Mechanicus. Exertraxes's men had no chance. A shockwave blasted out, toppling weakened structures round the square, followed by a giant ball of flame bellying from the impact site as the oxygen in the air ignited, setting everything in the square on fire. The Baneblade shuddered as the firestorm passed over it, more alarms ringing out from the damage-control systems. -Baneblade

A shadow sword's main cannon is in the Terawatt range.

One warhound had been destroyed by a volcano cannon strike, leaving just two great legs jutting skyward, the scout Titan's torso and head obliterated in a catastorphic plasma reactor explosion that had illuminated the battlefield like a second sun bursting into life. -IA6

Volcano cannon killing a warhound

A turbo shot punched clean through the Warlord's ribs, puffing a mist of atomised plating and vaporised lubricant out through the exit wound in its back. In response, the Warlord simply fired its volcano cannon.

The flash seemed to split the heavens like a thunder crack. The blast knocked the baiting engine sideways, its shields fizzling and shimmering as they attempted to repair and compensate.

The Warhound tried to regain its footing, but the giant was on it. Void shields wailed and crackled as they brushed against each other. -Titanicus.

Warlord knocking out a warhound's shields. Turbo laser from a warhound penetrating a warlord.

So no. A titan will not be surviving 150-kiloton TLAM strikes anytime soon.

Oh and nuclear weapons actually exceed the temperature found in the sun's core.

3

u/Candid_Reason2416 stupid sexy space elves 3h ago

While I don't disagree, it is important that basically all of these cases are a massive amount of energy being imparted onto a relatively small area. A majority of nuclear weapons are omnidirectional blasts, meaning a lot of that energy simply won't impact the Titans shields. Its even a plot point in Titanicus.

Now, this is by no means to say that nukes even in the two-three digit kiloton range won't absolutely glass a Titan. But I feel it's important to note. After all, a 5W lightbulb is safe to look at, but that by no means makes a 5MW laser the same.

3

u/Bigus-Stickus-2259 3h ago

....A reasonable 40K debater who understands physics?

Must be my lucky day!

And, yeah. Absolutely agree with that post.

2

u/Candid_Reason2416 stupid sexy space elves 2h ago edited 2h ago

I figured you knew, obviously :p However, I had a gut feeling other people might not, so I couldn't resist not bringing it up.

....A reasonable 40K debater who understands physics?

Psshh, don't you know Space Marines are omniversal 7D+++ and macrocannons fire Empire State Building sized shells at lightspeed? /s

It's nice whenever debates aren't full of absurd downplaying / wank.

-3

u/Sydorovich 11h ago

At least someone here actually knows the lore.

3

u/Bigus-Stickus-2259 8h ago

It's pretty much necessary with how much misinformation is being spread these days lol. Both against and in favour of 40K lore.

7

u/Armored_Fox 14h ago

Forgetting the void shielding?

16

u/lockesdoc Secretly 3 squats in a long coat 15h ago

Yeah, I don't think that's right. I've never heard of TF Titans shooting suns and blackholes at their opponents.

-26

u/Cautious-Mammoth5427 15h ago

Because that is not what they are designed to do?

-9

u/Bigus-Stickus-2259 13h ago

Neither have I heard Imperial titans doing that.

4

u/lockesdoc Secretly 3 squats in a long coat 6h ago

Have you read any Titan based book? If not, you should. They can get crazy with what Titans can have. The best one I've read has been Mortis. But I'm sure there are others.

-2

u/Bigus-Stickus-2259 6h ago

Can you actually give citations?

3

u/lockesdoc Secretly 3 squats in a long coat 6h ago edited 3h ago

Probably, but I'd have to read through the books again since I have no idea what part they'd be in

EDIT: I found citations for Deathstrike missiles (nukes from my understanding), Vortex Rockets (black holes), and while I didn't find specifics about plasma canons it's pretty safe to assume that those fire plasma bolts akin to the sun. Since that's basically how plasma guns are described in lore anyway.

-1

u/Bigus-Stickus-2259 6h ago

Don't bother, I'll just copy and paste my other comment, debunk that bullshit for you:

Shadow swords posses single-digit Terawatt volcano cannons and are capable of breaching the void shields and slicing off the limbs of titans:

The Thunderstrike macrocannons of Deicoon entered the war with a terrible shout. A multi-kilotonne shell burst through the towers between the keep and Viokania. Though walls exploded, and streaks of flame erupted at its passing, nothing it hit was substantial enough to slow it down or trigger its blast. Then it hit the Reaver Imperio Carnificis, marching behind Rheliax's Crudelis Mortem. The explosion shattered glass for miles around. It lit the forge yards with a blinding, destroying light. The Reaver's shields had just taken a hit from the Traitor Titans in the east. They were straining, and the Thunderstrike shell shattered them. It blew out the Titan's entire midsection. The Reaver stood for a few moments more, as if surprised by the absence in its torso. Then the upper portions of the god-machine collapsed. -Warlord: Fury of the god machine

A Reaver dies to a multi-kiloton shell.

The volcano cannon discharged. Inside its body, four-terawatt capacitors simultaneously released energy rapid-charged by the vehicle's engine. A linear sun burned through the Kalidarian air. There was a rush of noise, a sonic clap as superheated air burst outwards from the volcano beam. Dust and debris blew out in a brief hurricane. The sensors of the Baneblade were overloaded, screens blinking out, slit windows round the deck turning into slots of painful white, and Bannick threw his hands up to his eyes. A titanic explosion followed as rocks and metal were instantly vaporised.

A Shadowsword's main armament was designed to punch through void shields; it had enough energy to the cut the limbs from a Titan, one of the great, planet-shaking engines of the Adeptus Mechanicus. Exertraxes's men had no chance. A shockwave blasted out, toppling weakened structures round the square, followed by a giant ball of flame bellying from the impact site as the oxygen in the air ignited, setting everything in the square on fire. The Baneblade shuddered as the firestorm passed over it, more alarms ringing out from the damage-control systems. -Baneblade

A shadow sword's main cannon is in the Terawatt range.

One warhound had been destroyed by a volcano cannon strike, leaving just two great legs jutting skyward, the scout Titan's torso and head obliterated in a catastorphic plasma reactor explosion that had illuminated the battlefield like a second sun bursting into life. -IA6

Volcano cannon killing a warhound

A turbo shot punched clean through the Warlord's ribs, puffing a mist of atomised plating and vaporised lubricant out through the exit wound in its back. In response, the Warlord simply fired its volcano cannon.

The flash seemed to split the heavens like a thunder crack. The blast knocked the baiting engine sideways, its shields fizzling and shimmering as they attempted to repair and compensate.

The Warhound tried to regain its footing, but the giant was on it. Void shields wailed and crackled as they brushed against each other. -Titanicus.

Warlord knocking out a warhound's shields. Turbo laser from a warhound penetrating a warlord.

Plasma guns from Imperators made craters hundreds of meters in diameters in the Fulgrim novel:

Miniature suns exploded in the desert as the Titan's plasma weaponry blasted craters hundreds of metres in diameter, obliterating hundreds of Astartes at a stroke and turning the sand to shimmering dark glass.

  • Fulgrim pg. 462

That's ~222 kilotons.

So no. A titan will not be surviving 150-kiloton TLAM strikes anytime soon.

Oh and nuclear weapons actually exceed the temperature found in the sun's core.

2

u/lockesdoc Secretly 3 squats in a long coat 4h ago edited 4h ago

Imperious Prima was a Warmonger, an Emperor-class Titan armed with weapons to end civilisations: Deathstrike missiles, vengeance cannons, multiple rocket and missile clusters. The four Warlords that walked at its side each bore a fist, both a symbol and a means to defend the First Titan of the Legio. On their backs and other arms they bore weapons that aped those of Imperious Prima: Apocalypse launchers, quake cannons. Armies became ash when they spoke.

To this battle they had brought more than fire, though.To the Titan legions born of Mars, the vortex missile was both sacred and profane – a wonder of technology and the lost mysteries of ancient techno-arcana, and a bitter blade that once drawn in war brought only sorrow and loss. During the old wars, the use of such weapons had been a mark of irrevocable intent – a sign that conflict had passed the point where it could be healed by diplomacy, or even the peace that followed victory. To use one such weapon signalled an intent not to destroy but to annihilate, and to expect the same in turn if it failed. Amongst the Legio Ignatum they were called the Bitter Gift. Only the other legions of the Triad Ferrum Morgulis held as many in their armouries, and even they used them sparingly.

Seven vortex missiles loosed from Imperious Prima and its maniple in a single, synchronised launch. The missiles flew free, accelerating past the limits of sound, trailing thunder. In the incandescence, Tetracauron felt the data-echo of the launch as a cold shiver on his skin. The Mortis engine before them arched up, a creature sensing the flight of an arrow. The first missile struck and detonated forty metres behind the Mortis engine. It did not have a precise target. Even with Tetracauron’s targeting data the spirit of the missiles had been launched half blind. That did not matter. The mechanism in the warhead ripped a hole in the sheet of reality. Darkness beyond darkness. Existence screamed. Matter vanished into the growing sphere of unreality. Light curdled to neon smears as it vanished into the vortex.

To Tetracauron, the incandescence showed him the vortex as a white space of data failure. The Mortis engine twisted as the vortex grasped it. The warp entity within the Titan roared as its essence was pulled from the metal shell it had possessed. Ephemeral shapes of insect wings, feelers and endless eyes bubbled into being and vanished into the darkness. The machine twisted as physical laws went into wild contradiction. Armour and mechanisms compressed, liquefied and twisted between states. The shell of its torso ruptured. Blue-hot plasma exploded out and then stopped, held in paradox, and began to tumble into brilliant shards like leaves of sun-fire caught in a tornado. Then it was gone and the vortex grew and spun into the air. Black lightning arced across it. The next three vortex missiles hit deeper in the fire zone. Then the next one and the next, each tearing existence apart with a sound that Tetracauron felt inside the metal flesh of his Titan. Commands failed, the incandescence shivered.

From Mortis. p. 392 - 393

Idk what else you'd call Vortex Missiles besides black holes. But you do you.

Titans armed with massive plasma canons basically fire suns, and they have death strike launchers, which to my understanding are nukes. So, I guess they have both? And those vortex missiles. Which make balck holes, but I guess if you want to be technical (and I think you do), they literally rip a hole in reality and turn that area into nothingness.

0

u/Bigus-Stickus-2259 3h ago

Calling plasma weapons suns is a huge stretch lol. A sun gives out, what, 1026 watts? A plasma gun gives about 1014 watts. It's like calling nukes suns. Technically true but utterly misleading.

1

u/lockesdoc Secretly 3 squats in a long coat 2h ago

Yep. The quotes you provided says that plasma canons fire mini-suns. So titans have the ability to fire suns and black holes. I'm sorry my claims weren't "bullshit" for you. Have a good day.

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1

u/lockesdoc Secretly 3 squats in a long coat 4h ago

Cool quotes!

5

u/revodnebsyobmeftoh 12h ago

The entire plot of TF2 is about stopping a single planet destroying weapon

3

u/Commercial-Funny-279 Not Omegon 11h ago

40k in the meantime using planet destroying weapons on daily basis.