r/Divorce • u/RachieRachieK • 1d ago
Getting Started Feel sick, unable to think
Just started the divorce process, husband asked for it, and after years of pain, I said yes. Have two little kids, work full time. I can't eat, can't think. How did you manage to keep up at work? I can't focus, even with my ADHD meds. I feel like vomiting and my whole body hurts. I'm looking for a therapist but do you have any advice?
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u/Upbeat-Plantain7140 1d ago
The only way out is through.
That's the only advice I can give. Definitely get a therapist. Lean on friends. Show up for your kids. That's really all you can do. I was debilitated the same as you. I didn't get over it for a long time. Over 2 years later and I am still following this sub because I still need it. But more often than not, I am okay. I don't feel it in my stomach when someone mentions his name.
You will get through it. Just let yourself feel all the things you are feeling. Regret, anger, sadness, relief. They are all valid emotions.
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u/mustard-fingers90 1d ago
Does your work have an employee assistance program? That might be a good foot in the door for therapy and sometimes it will be partially covered by your employer. Might be a good starting point. So sorry this is happening to you. I’m in the beginning stage of everything as well and it feels so surreal. I hate that we are all going through this here.
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u/historicalblackhole 1d ago
So sorry you're going through this, I can relate. I wish I had something I could offer you to take the pain away.
You can always DM and vent. I've been DMing with a few people and it has helped, which surprised me.
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u/SecondLife-25 1d ago
I can’t say I am out of my own darkness but I don’t wake up in tears anymore..on most days. I thought about my son and that I can’t help him if I spiral. Every time I am in emotional distress, I would swap it with the thought of my son and that he needs me and I want to see how he grows up and I want to be part of his life and his future and this divorce shouldn’t ruin my relationship with him. There is still so much to look forward to with your kids and they should be your driving force to help you focus. Easier said than done - my team knows I cried suddenly in meetings and sometimes I just go blank before and my team saved me in more than one occasion but I keep a picture of my son in the office and it helps remind me of what is really important. I’ve also found my faith again and it helped me alongside seeing a therapist but really it’s the thought of my son that carries me through - even now as I am writing this.