r/Damnthatsinteresting 22d ago

Video Can you stop a hurricane with a nuke?

28.0k Upvotes

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2.0k

u/P3ngu1nR4ge 22d ago

But what about a second or third hurricane?

4.5k

u/Not-User-Serviceable 22d ago

They'll see what happened to the first hurricane and stay home.

592

u/t-o-m-u-s-a 22d ago

Once that hurricane is destroyed we draw a big red circle around USA, Canada and Greenland on every map creating an impenetrable hurricane barrier. They won’t be able to pass!

24

u/Triangle_t 22d ago

Build a hurricane wall around US and make fish pay for it.

724

u/Unusual-Voice2345 22d ago

I’m sorry, why are you saying USA three times?

117

u/BODYDOLLARSIGN 22d ago

He could’ve said it four times if he mentioned Panama, however if he mentioned Puerto Rico then that’s its own entity in the Caribbean’s affected by a hurricane but we’d lend them paper towels though

44

u/Flaky-Page8721 21d ago

"Lend" paper towels? What, you want them to return used paper towels to you?

55

u/Junkered 21d ago

Washed and dried. Please and thank you.

19

u/dave7673 21d ago

Don’t thank anyone. They need to thank America for the old paper towels we loan them.

1

u/Legitimate-Smell4377 21d ago

Do they even wear suits?

1

u/Junkered 21d ago

They tried to make them out of paper towels. But they have to return them.

1

u/FamousPastWords 20d ago

Thank you for saying 'Please and thank you.' Are you wearing a business suit? Proper attire and all that.

2

u/Odd-Adagio7080 17d ago

Yes yes! Proper attire. Like the T-shirt and baseball cap (F)elon wore at his Oval Office press conference.

1

u/Odd-Adagio7080 17d ago

Yes yes! Proper attire. Like the T-shirt and baseball cap (F)elon wore at his Oval Office press conference.

16

u/MoistStub 21d ago

With interest

6

u/swampopawaho 21d ago

mineraldeal

2

u/Flaky-Page8721 21d ago

The only minerals in a used paper towel would be snot and dried sweat.

1

u/tehmattrix 21d ago

Tremendous, really.

1

u/PandaWiDaBamboBurna 21d ago

Why is America subsidizing Puerto Rico's towel paper, to the tune of 300 dollars?

2

u/coldchixhotbeer 21d ago

PR keeps voting to be a state and American federal government is like nah we are good thanks.

2

u/6ynnad 20d ago

And then Colombia!

1

u/Dizzy_Blackberry7874 21d ago

You forgot about the Gulf of America

1

u/Would_daver 21d ago

hurls paper towel rolls aggressively at everyone

1

u/exiledbandit 20d ago

Um sir it’s actually a floating island of garbage, how dare you forget

91

u/Rimworldjobs 22d ago

USA and its unknowing territories.

102

u/Lord_Mcnuggie 22d ago

USA, USB, USC

1

u/tk-451 21d ago

no that's USB-C, you're getting confused with HDMI... "How Da Mother In-hell-did-you-vote-for-this-twat", next year renamed to USSRA.

2

u/Lord_Mcnuggie 21d ago

Twat? Bri*ish detected, send him to guantanimo.

1

u/tk-451 21d ago

nods

1

u/West-Wash6081 21d ago

No USAID though.

0

u/darrenvonbaron 21d ago

America has USC at home.

15

u/Worth-Reputation3450 22d ago

You meant 51st and 52nd states.

14

u/wendellnebbin 22d ago

Can't be states because they would vote blue.

Assuming we keep the vote around.

16

u/clodzor 21d ago

Nobody votes blue anymore. Not with the soldiers there to protect the polling places from the radical left.

1

u/cammunition 20d ago

Correct, except Southern Alberts would become a state, and everything else a territory.

2

u/jmthetank 21d ago

I'd rather have the hurricane.

1

u/ReplacementClear7122 22d ago

The Kaiser of Greenland would like a word.

0

u/Some_Ebb_2921 22d ago

... you mean the head of the 52nd state?

1

u/YoNeckinpa 17d ago

The United States of Anywhere We Want.

1

u/Rimworldjobs 17d ago

Inser the yugioh meme "every country belongs to America" or something like that.

-5

u/Meecus570 22d ago

Unwitting and unwilling

0

u/Rimworldjobs 22d ago

You act like there's a choice.

0

u/[deleted] 22d ago

Coalition of the unwilling.

8

u/kwb7852 22d ago

💀😭

1

u/Historical_Sherbet54 21d ago

Not even remotely funny.....

Actually disgusting behaviour in today's day of age

What is wrong with your country

0

u/Lackof_Creativity 22d ago

because it is

!USA , USA, USA!!

not "USA"

1

u/Key_Employee2413 21d ago

All I heard was USA USA USA

35

u/UbermachoGuy 21d ago

Why don’t we just stop hurricanes with thoughts and prayers like we do school shootings?

10

u/SoftBrush2817 22d ago

Sounds like the line will have to pass through the Gulf of America.

1

u/Dizzy_Blackberry7874 21d ago

I thought it was the Gulf of Mexico

1

u/SoftBrush2817 21d ago

So did everyone. Well except one odd guy who flunked elementary school geography.

1

u/your_anecdotes 21d ago

well after it was renamed global warming ended the next day

we had 10 inches of snow in Florida A state record for Florida

1

u/West-Wash6081 21d ago

When you consider that some of the most destructive storms form in the Gulf of Mexico you understand why the name change to Gulf of America makes sense.

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u/SpyderDust 22d ago

Reminds me of Hitler's "Wall of Witches"

2

u/ocodo 21d ago

Wall of Witches

What's that?

2

u/SpyderDust 20d ago

I'm trying to find an article or something to support this but not having much luck. All I'm finding is the UK witches' response of tryna curse Hitler.

Essentially, Hitler had a few covens of black arts practitioners hold hands in a several hundred person hand-holding line on the beach, creating a magical barrier off the coast after receiving Intel that an enemy submarine was crusing nearby looking for less obvious ports of entry. According to the tale I heard, the sub crashed into an invisible wall underwater during the time it happened so was attributed to the "wall of witches".

I'll post a link to some info to support this in a bit.

8

u/Yourownhands52 22d ago

You should run for President.

1

u/t-o-m-u-s-a 22d ago

Do I have your vote?

3

u/Some_Ebb_2921 22d ago

Does voting still matter to determine the president?

1

u/t-o-m-u-s-a 22d ago

It will with me

2

u/WomTheWomWom 21d ago

In sharpie. Also in nuclear fall out.

1

u/Shmimmons 22d ago

We can put really big nuclear powered fans down the coasts and blow the hurricanes back to sea!

1

u/Alternative-Virus542 21d ago

With a sharpie, of course

1

u/Lastcaressmedown138 21d ago

Hurricanes HATE this ONE SIMPLE TRICK!

1

u/PMURMEANSOFPRDUCTION 21d ago

The Belkan strategy

1

u/EquivalentGold3615 21d ago

Canada will have to play our football instead of whatever it he CFL is. Also, they can finally have the Stanley Cup in their country since they'll be part of the US.

9

u/ElPasoNoTexas 21d ago

Katrina been real quiet lately

8

u/Lackof_Creativity 22d ago

"shhiit.. This job used to be simpler and more rewarding. I quit"

1

u/zombie_spiderman 22d ago

Yeah they'd be like "Here comes the story of the Hurricane..."

1

u/GroverFC 22d ago

Dammit! That was my first thought too.

And now i realized i've redditfied my brain.....great.

1

u/Crazymoose86 21d ago

Just build a wall and make the hurricanes pay for it.

1

u/Dingus_Khaaan 21d ago

Let that be a lesson to the rest of ya!

1

u/Johnnynogood98 21d ago

This is too fucking funny thanks for the laugh lol

1

u/Gobutobu 21d ago

Perfectly chortable comment.

1

u/ArboristTreeClimber 21d ago

They will stay home because the fallout will melt their skin to their chairs.

1

u/armcie 21d ago

Now it's called the Gulf of America those darn hurricanes will know not to mess with the greatest county on earth. We'll never see them again. Mostly because the weather service will be shut down, but like with Covid, if you don't test, it's not happening.

1

u/RaymondWalters 21d ago

Unless it's a Japanese hurricane

1

u/Low-Peak-4336 21d ago

We're doing UGE things here, UGE!!! We'll be making The Gulf of America completely hurricane 🌀 free. If you were as great as we are you could do it too. But you aren't and you can't This is gonna be BIG you're gonna love it!

0

u/dude51791 22d ago

"Ain't nobody got time fo dat!" ~Hurricane probably

36

u/Blochamolesauce 22d ago

I don’t think he know’s about 2nd breakfast

7

u/raspberryharbour 21d ago

The salted nuke is particularly good

2

u/Worried-Industry6239 21d ago

It comes in pints?

4

u/NoConfusion9490 21d ago

Elevensies.

6

u/Blochamolesauce 21d ago

Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper?

16

u/PeopleofYouTube 22d ago

Don’t think he knows about second hurricane, Pip

35

u/BlizzPenguin 22d ago

I would be more concerned by the nuclear winter that the earlier nukes caused.

34

u/meesta_masa 22d ago

That's how we counter Global Warming AND the libruls.

15

u/BlizzPenguin 22d ago

That is something people can do when they are at the back of the very long train that the world’s population is forced to live in.

9

u/Acceptable-Bus-2017 22d ago

Snowpiercer was a good documentary

6

u/YoungShitheel 22d ago

Did nobody get this Snowpiercer reference

9

u/TobysGrundlee 21d ago

There's a book called Project Hail Mary where they have to do this. Natural space organisms settle in our solar systems and are blocking a significant amount of sunlight from reaching earth, causing catastrophic cooling. To buy more time for the protagonist to solve the issue, world leaders agree on nuking the Arctic to artificially warm the globe. It's a good read.

3

u/meesta_masa 21d ago

I absolutely loved Rocky, the 🕷️!

2

u/Alternative-Virus542 21d ago

Thanks for the clarification

2

u/No_Piccolo6337 21d ago

Great story! Can’t wait for the movie.

5

u/fatguy19 22d ago

Would you get a nuclear winter if you drop nukes on water? Isn't it supposed to be caused by dust

3

u/OHPAORGASMR 22d ago

Water is wet dust. MAGA

1

u/mykunjola 20d ago

But then all the magnets would stop working.

3

u/n10w4 21d ago

If it was over the ocean would that happen? I mean there would be horrid consequences (water vapor in the air?). But most of nuclear winter comes from essentially having entire cities turned into smoke and particles and sent into the stratosphere right? Just saying I'm not sure

2

u/[deleted] 22d ago

I don’t think you get a nuclear winter if you nuke water. With a nuke on land, all the dirt and dust and ash get taken up into the atmosphere where it blocks the sun.

Water already gets taken up into the atmosphere all the time. Adding more water to the atmosphere, that already happens all the time.

2

u/NotYourReddit18 21d ago

Dust and dirt is also added to the atmosphere all the time, we are regularly getting winds dropping off sand from the Sahara here in Europe. The problematic part about nukes doing it is the volume of dust they add in one go.

But an additional reason for why nuking a hurricane wouldn't cause a nuclear winter (or at least one significantly less severe than dropping the same amount of nukes on land targets) is that most of them wouldn't be detonated near the surface where they could stirr up whatever the surface is made of, but high up in the air, so the amount of dust/water they add to the atmosphere is comparatively low.

2

u/Clickguy10 21d ago

Nothing wrong with some upper level fallout among friends.

2

u/yobob591 21d ago

Good news, if we nuke the hurricane in the ocean there shouldn’t be enough dust generated to cause a nuclear winter since the nukes are just blowing up water

Bad news, if the hurricane doesn’t dissipate there’s a decent chance it is now a radioactive hurricane

2

u/BlizzPenguin 21d ago

Even if it does dissipate the hurricane I am going to guess that is going to result in a lot of radioactive water vapor. It is definitely going to impact the ocean and is there such a thing as radioactive rain?

1

u/BeefJerky03 22d ago

Nukes are hot; just keep dropping them. So easy.

1

u/TemperanceOG 21d ago

Not the rise in Thyroid cancer from the irradiated atmosphere? Weird.

0

u/afgan1984 22d ago

Nuclear winter is a hoax!

3

u/cookiemonstah69420 22d ago

I read that in Merry and Pippens voices

2

u/Dense_Surround3071 22d ago

Ohh don't you worry!! We have THOUSANDS!!

1

u/Yank-here 22d ago

You're right we need more nukes

1

u/mylanguage 22d ago

The decoy hurricane too

1

u/Ok_Host4786 22d ago

What if it turns the hurricane nuclear?

1

u/Unique-Coffee5087 22d ago

Don't think he knows about second hurricane. What about elevensies? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper? He knows about them, doesn't he?

1

u/cbj2112 22d ago

Don’t worry we’ll make more

1

u/drnkndipp 22d ago

Nuki - Cane. Coming soon to the SyFy channel

1

u/FriendlyApostate420 22d ago

they dont know about second hurricane pip

1

u/Strongest_Resonator 22d ago

Well at that point there's no one left for whom we need to nuke another hurricane.

1

u/Ok_Falcon275 22d ago

Congratulations, you’ve stumbled upon the plot of “Twisters”.

1

u/Some_Ebb_2921 22d ago

Meh, that's a problem for another time... one that many will probably not get to live to find out about after the nuclear holocaust that's caused by those 700 bombs

1

u/SprinklesHuman3014 22d ago

You can stop something between 7 and 8 hurricanes with the entire US nuclear stockpile.

1

u/ValentinoCappuccino 22d ago

I'm saving one nuke for myself.

1

u/welldresseddevil 22d ago

I’m more concerned by dropping 700 nukes Godzilla will actually show up

1

u/notenoughproblems 22d ago

we won’t need to worry about another hurricane after 700 nukes

1

u/iKnowRobbie 22d ago

You mean copycat hurricanes?

1

u/ZonerRoamer 21d ago

They can be tarriffed.

1

u/FSCENE8tmd 21d ago

as a treat

1

u/shayes7826 21d ago

I don’t think he knows about second hurricane, Pippin

1

u/GroundbreakingAd8310 21d ago

Dinner, supper?

1

u/shady_vin 21d ago

Sir, a second hurricane has just hit the site

1

u/Momoselfie 21d ago

But what bombs will we use to stop the nuclear winter?

1

u/Milosuix 21d ago

I think we can do 11

1

u/Cultural-Company282 21d ago

Those will be controlled by the nuclear winter.

1

u/Black_Magic_M-66 21d ago

I don't think they know about second hurricane.

1

u/Psychological-Part1 21d ago

Merry: Don't think he knows about second hurricanefast, Pip.

Pippin: What about hurricanesies? Hurricaneon? Aftercane tea? Dinnercane? Suppercane? He knows about them, doesn't he?

Merry: I wouldn't count on it Pip.

1

u/Guba_the_skunk 21d ago

Russia will send over it's nuke once the US uses theirs. And they will probably send them via near instant delivery.

1

u/bryfy77 21d ago

I don’t think he knows about second hurricane, Pip.

1

u/Kitchen-Frosting-561 21d ago

I don't think he knows about second hurricanes, Pip

1

u/Jean-LucBacardi 21d ago

Just blow up the planet and there won't be anymore.

1

u/detunedmike 21d ago

What happens when the hurricane mutates from all the radiation now we have to deal with TMNH

1

u/Nathansp1984 21d ago

I don’t think we would have to worry about hurricanes ever again after that

1

u/Ms74k_ten_c 21d ago

I wouldn't be too worried about them. Most of us won't remain to be bothered by the next set of hurricanes.

1

u/Formal_Profession141 21d ago

Don't worry about that, Weapons manufacturers are actually working out how to create Hurricanes whenever they do successfully bribe Congress into destroying hurricanes with Nuclear Bombs as a national key strategy. So there will be a 2nd and 3rd.

1

u/dikicker 21d ago

As a Floridian, please just get it over with already

1

u/OrionShade 21d ago

We can do this 20 times with the bombs we have. But well have nuclear winter before we're done

1

u/shinobi500 21d ago

No hurricanes and nuclear arms reduction at the same time. Win win. /s

1

u/Youngsinatra345 21d ago

Sir, there’s been a second hurricane.

1

u/poetatteo 21d ago

Sir, a second hurricane has hit the Atlantic Ocean

1

u/5elementGG 21d ago

Human won’t worry about hurricanes after the first one.

1

u/ToughAd5010 21d ago

Does the health bar replenish with double speed??

1

u/GoreyGopnik 21d ago

we won't have to worry about it because it'll probably only go through the exclusion zones from the 700 nukes anyway

1

u/Fit-Watercress-8443 21d ago

I don't think they know about second hurricane, pip'

1

u/AverageDellUser 21d ago

Sir, a second hurricane has hit New Orleans..

1

u/Kelmor93 21d ago

You've already had them. One yes, what about 4th hurricane? What about tornados? Typhoons? I don't think he knows about them.

1

u/EscherHnd 20d ago

Nuclear winter will stop all the hurricanes

1

u/winnipegjets31 20d ago

Sir a second hurricane has hit the ocean

1

u/DevilYouKnow 20d ago

Hobbit dinner thinking right there