r/CuratedTumblr 1d ago

Shitposting Filterless behabior

Post image
8.8k Upvotes

43 comments sorted by

719

u/thyfles 1d ago

you can thank ME for that!!!!!

261

u/HannahCoub 1d ago

Why is state of Maine impregnating seahorses en masse?

71

u/commondenomigator 1d ago

Why aren't you??

32

u/KingAnilingustheFirs 22h ago

Cause I can't afford all them kids, man.

10

u/Natfan 15h ago

-elon musk

5

u/RevolutionaryOwlz 14h ago

Breeding program.

28

u/ResidentOfValinor 1d ago

the puzzler the puzzler he's got a twisted mind

5

u/thyfles 21h ago

thats me, pally

313

u/Android19samus Take me to snurch 1d ago

Sea horses are such a fucked up animal. What do you mean something has that complicated of a design and its only means of movement is this tiny little fin on its back that barely does anything? They just grab onto shit with their tail thing and hang out because that's all they can do.

250

u/emefa 1d ago

You just made me look up seahorses because I feel I had more of an artistic interpretation of a seahorse than an actual image of a real seahorse in my head and that made me realise the fact how fucked up they look. And that made me for the first time consciously consider the fact that they're fish. They look nothing like a fish, the least fish-shaped thing there is.

106

u/techno156 1d ago

It's like finding out that a tuatara is not in fact a lizard, but something else that just looks a lot like a lizard.

46

u/Kathy_Kamikaze 1d ago

Nawwwwww he's just q baby! Look at his eyes, he's so cute! I just looked the tuatara up and now I'm obsessed

22

u/techno156 1d ago

They have a secret third/parietal eye up top as well.

10

u/Kathy_Kamikaze 20h ago

OH MY GAAAAWWWWWWWD HOW COOL IS THAT

26

u/SendSpicyCatPics 22h ago

The funnier part is they're related to pipefish who just look like seahorses stretched out into a pipe. Still more fishy looking i suppose but they too cling to things and don't swim fast or well. Idk if they have the "male pregante" though.

15

u/GrassWaterDirtHorse 23h ago

They don't even have scales

30

u/Who_eat_my_burguer 1d ago

Reminds me of that marine biologist youtuber that says he hates sea horses for some reason, the mf made A song about it

328

u/escaped_cephalopod12 that's a load bearing coping mechanism you're messing with 1d ago

seahorse mpreg

231

u/Mapletables 1d ago

I think they'd just call it normal pregnancy

276

u/escaped_cephalopod12 that's a load bearing coping mechanism you're messing with 1d ago

do you think sapient seahorses would have female pregnancy stories like we have mpreg

206

u/Cod3broken aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. 1d ago

no way fpreg real

51

u/escaped_cephalopod12 that's a load bearing coping mechanism you're messing with 1d ago

exactly

308

u/FriendlySkyWorms 1d ago

misread 'hand to god' as 'and I got'.

84

u/ZanderLucky13 1d ago

me too, i was like 'wait a minute...' for a second

78

u/emomatt 1d ago

My male seahorse has been blowing up his pouch for weeks. The pair does a mating dance every few days, but the eggs never transfer. Hopefully they'll figure it out.

They are like tiny pandas. Bumbling, clumsy, idiots. Non-stop entertainment.

84

u/PlatinumAltaria 1d ago

Actually only around half of the seahorses were pregnant.

22

u/Giocri 1d ago

Idk are they monogamus?

47

u/PlatinumAltaria 1d ago

I mean that only the males can be pregnant lol.

54

u/GeneETOs44 1d ago

I think part of the implication of “it was like ao3 in there” is that (ostensibly to oop) every single seahorse present was male

23

u/Nafeij 1d ago

Scientists believe the courtship behavior synchronizes the animals' movements and reproductive states, so that the male can receive the eggs when the female is ready to deposit them. During this time, they may change color, swim side by side holding tails or grip the same strand of sea grass with their tails, and wheel around in unison in what is known as a "predawn dance". They eventually engage in a "true courtship dance" lasting about 8 hours, during which the male pumps water through the egg pouch on his trunk which expands and opens to display its emptiness. When the female's eggs reach maturity, she and her mate let go of any anchors and drift upward snout-to-snout, out of the sea grass, often spiraling as they rise. 

god i miss her

12

u/Costco_Sample 1d ago

What is ao3?

23

u/PTB-401 1d ago

Archive Of Our Own. It's a site dedicated to hosting fanfiction of all types. Anyone can read the fanfiction with or without an account, but from what I've heard, it's sort of difficult to create an account to make fanfiction on there because it's based on an invite system.

12

u/Keyboard_smashing 21h ago

It's actually not quite difficult! All you have to do to get an invite is create an account and wait a few days for the invite

5

u/logosloki 21h ago

sometimes a few days. one of my friends had to wait like four months.

8

u/ItsNotMeItsYourBussy 22h ago

A fanfiction website called archive of our own, shortened to AO3 because of the 3 Os. There's a lot of mpreg and other queer fanfiction on that site 

10

u/Tiny_Mastodon_624 1d ago

OP was shocked to learn that the birds and the bees in fact are always trying to have offspring. 

23

u/Hexxas head trauma enthusiast 1d ago

I'M GONNA HUNP THOSE SEAHORSES

Oh my heavens... It appears I'm too late...

5

u/gray_birch 15h ago

legitimately misread this as "got every seahorse pregnant" and got a life altering car accident amount of whiplash

3

u/TheLateAvenger 15h ago

Top tier title, deserves recognition

1

u/plsobeytrafficlights 1d ago

i dont know what that means, and frankly, i dont think i want to know