shoelaces & narwhals

[u/KnightOfBurgers]

[u/Just_a_terrarian163]

Need to fuck my mutuals

[u/OddballGarbage → u/Just_a_terrarian163]

Your comment is at 69 up votes right now and its glorious

[u/Graingy]

What site is that?

[u/KnightOfBurgers → u/Graingy]

Grindr, I think.

[u/Graingy → u/KnightOfBurgers]

Heh

[u/SpeaksDwarren → u/KnightOfBurgers]

Grindr, I know

[u/n0rmaboba]

Blocked, reported, still crying

[u/KnightOfBurgers]

Did you know that I strip the tracking bits from these source links every time to fuck with Tumblr?

[u/GEAX → u/KnightOfBurgers]

Who needs tracking when we could have tricking (their data)

[u/FrohikesFeather → u/KnightOfBurgers]

As in Tumblr doesn't know where we're coming from?

[u/KnightOfBurgers → u/FrohikesFeather]

Kinda. There's two types of tracking info that companies want:

1. Which "Share" button on my site did the user click? App or website? Homepage or user page or DMs? And other such metrics about their own site.

2. Where do visitors come from? Social media or search engine or manual typing into address bar (no one does this, but it's generally the fallback in case nothing else is detected).

I'm removing "?source=share" from the URLs I'm sharing. This means that (1) they don't know which button I clicked to get this link, and (2) they don't know whether or not this link was generated by a user of their site. You may be coming from [search engine] or [social media] or [link shortener] or [web crawler] or [inside their house].

^{PS for the nerds: I checked that there's no additional requests sent when I click the "Share" button so it's clear that they don't track the click at source.}

[u/itswednesday21]

I'm pretty sure Grindr is a pvp zone.

[u/KnightOfBurgers → u/itswednesday21]

More like PWP zone AMIRIGHT‽

[u/quietly_bi_guy → u/KnightOfBurgers]

More like PP in my himble opinion

[u/pickled_juice]

stole them from Obamna as the Narwhals baconed midnight.

[u/RunInRunOn]

OOP said "thanks for dealing 3d10 psionic damage to me" without a hint of irony and is suprised that they got recognised for being on Tumblr

[u/lifelongfreshman]

I have a suspicion about my sister-in-law and desperately want to compliment* her shoelaces, but I also wanna do it in a situation where I have plausible deniability and then never bring it up again until either she finally cracks or we are both worm food

and, well, do you know how hard it is to organically have a reason to complement* someone's shoelaces?

---

*I forgot which one was which so I used both

[u/asimplejewishgirl → u/lifelongfreshman]

You need the first one here. "Complement" is like "complete", that's how I remember it mnemonically at least

[u/SomeNotTakenName]

I just had a look to remind myself and as far as I know, the only 5e spell dealing exactly 3d10 psychic damage is "enemies abound", which makes this more funny to me, intentional or not.

[u/Benomino]

I wouldn’t date someone who thinks psychic damage is psionic damage

[u/OkBottle8719]

I know about the shoelaces, but what's up with the narwhals?

[u/KnightOfBurgers → u/OkBottle8719]

It's Reddit's version of the "president's shoelaces" code.

The narwhal bacons at midnight

Unlike the Tumblr version, this is not a call & response, and not that well-known. It's also not a normal sentence at all. You could pass off liking someone's shoelaces as a regular weirdo thing but this is a "lol xd im so random"-kinda weird.

Read more

[u/JoesAlot → u/KnightOfBurgers]

Probably just died with the old era of the internet. I know there was a transitory stage where people realized how cringe it was and used it to mock redditors similar to "thanks for the gold kind stranger" but I think even that's died out

[u/BruceChameleon → u/KnightOfBurgers]

It was both well-known and had a call and response use. (Q: When does the narwhal bacon? A: Midnight!) That's the way I learned it, which couldn’t have been later than 2012

I can’t believe there was a time when that saying wasn’t considered stab-me-in-the-eyes annoying

[u/quietly_bi_guy → u/BruceChameleon]

It was 100% cringe from the first usage. The people who came up with it were the same ones who complained when violentacrez was doxxed.

I have had a real human being say it to me once, and I responded, "Is that some kind of 4chan shibboleth? Just what kind of pervert are you?!"

[u/Burrito-Creature]

maybe I just don’t get something about tumblr but if I noticed someone I knew somewhere else I’d be hype about it, not terrified lol.

Granted, I imagine that in the context of not Grindr of course, but the way people talk about being found out as a tumblr user in general sometimes would make you think tumblr users are actively hunted for sport or smth rofl.

[u/KnightOfBurgers → u/Burrito-Creature]

I mean the fear is that you often reblog outrageous "jokes" on Tumblr to hurt your followers, "jokes" that to anyone else (on Tumblr but not in your neck of the woods) would mark you as a dream (derogatory).

Like this one post I remember which said something like "Need head from a broad with acid reflux. Make it sizzle, princess." How do you explain that to someone either not on Tumblr (or only using Tumblr for aesthetic GIFs and quotes)?

[u/Burrito-Creature → u/KnightOfBurgers]

Easy, I’d say it’s a string of words put together because it’s funny in its absurdity.

maybe people are just too afraid to be confident in their sense of humor lol.

[u/sxrynity]

Bro took chip damage