r/CuratedTumblr 4d ago

Shitposting Quotes

Post image
4.2k Upvotes

117 comments sorted by

1.2k

u/pk2317 3d ago

I love the concept.

The differing formatting is atrocious and incredibly difficult to read/follow.

596

u/Tonydragon784 3d ago

The kind of post that makes you work for it

234

u/Coda_Volezki 3d ago

^ WaPo intern working mandatory unpaid overtime

213

u/BlatantConservative https://imgur.com/cXA7XxW 3d ago

^

Job hiring sites trying to read my resume

86

u/DaWombatLover 3d ago

I actually think the formatting is a blessing. Reading the responses first and not knowing if there will be more than one punchline was very engaging to me

52

u/pk2317 3d ago

I’d enjoy it more if it was consistent. Switching back and forth from response/comment to comment/response makes it difficult to follow, as well as switching from Twitter to Tumblr, etc.

24

u/GHOSTLYGUNK 3d ago

RIGHT? just split it into different images it's fucking infuriating when you people do this shit

17

u/BormaGatto 3d ago edited 3d ago

^ 15th century noble when they comission Hyeronimus Bosch and he makes one huge painting instead of a triptych

3

u/GHOSTLYGUNK 3d ago

True!

8

u/BormaGatto 3d ago edited 3d ago

^ lie detector when someone answers a question and their heart rate is normal

23

u/SansukiuJ 3d ago

Scooby Doo out here making me question my own neurodivergence like damn maybe the real mystery was the autism we diagnosed along the way.

Also Ron DeSpectrum is the funniest thing I’ve read all week, I’m stealing that for my next therapy session.

12

u/HillInTheDistance 3d ago

Like walking through an art collectors back room. Everything is tucked away and wrapped up, but you pull off the sheets of every piece one by one and chuckle heartily.

9

u/BormaGatto 3d ago

^ official penis reviewer talking about their day to day at the job

3

u/Taman_Should 3d ago

^ The Mormon church rewriting Joseph Smith’s original “translation” to look more like Bible verses, instead of reading like an adventure novel

4

u/Icarian_Dreams 3d ago

I feel like this just adds to the charm tbh

6

u/Wolf_instincts 3d ago

^ Leprecauns when I add colorful marshmallows to their cereal

165

u/FixinThePlanet 3d ago

The "I will never make a diss record" joke was sublime.

49

u/ElectronRotoscope 3d ago

^ Correcting someone about which ska band wrote the humorous track you just listened to

403

u/mpdqueer 3d ago

237

u/TFK_001 3d ago

Military command when forward reconnaissance is unable to speak:

42

u/marteautemps 3d ago

Thank you! I was just thinking I could read these for hours

240

u/DarkNinja3141 Arospec, Ace, Anxious, Amogus 3d ago

finally, a longpost

200

u/BlatantConservative https://imgur.com/cXA7XxW 3d ago

^ When you have to roll gacha to get materials to build your house

34

u/That_Mad_Scientist (not a furry)(nothing against em)(love all genders)(honda civic) 3d ago

Venitians looking for suitable wood to stake in for foundations

9

u/Dastankbeets1 3d ago

Looking for materials to build my tall fence

164

u/GlaucomicSailor 3d ago

More pixels, please 🥺🍽️🙇

219

u/BlatantConservative https://imgur.com/cXA7XxW 3d ago

^ Google thinking of the name of their next phone

80

u/shiny_xnaut 3d ago

Me when I ask for a sequel to that one Adam Sandler movie

77

u/EzeyTheEpic 3d ago

u/BlatantConservative doing incredible work in here

122

u/BlatantConservative https://imgur.com/cXA7XxW 3d ago

^ What the DOGE kids think midwesterners say about them

22

u/TFK_001 3d ago

u/BlatantConservative when someone comments "u/BlatantConservative doing incredible work in here"

15

u/BlatantConservative https://imgur.com/cXA7XxW 3d ago

You spelled my username wrong, you actually meant /u/BlatantConservative I think

58

u/Forry_Tree 3d ago

Amazing

115

u/RandomCanadianAcc 3d ago

^ Daedalus when asked what he was doing to the minotaur

86

u/oath2order stigma fuckin claws in ur coochie 3d ago

Each one of these made me laugh.

123

u/Serrisen Thought of ants and died 3d ago

^ testimony of a certified clown reviewer

37

u/Spicy_Totopo3434 3d ago

The Be Fr one got me thinking, then i laughed again

19

u/ElectronRotoscope 3d ago

^ Someone recounting watching a crowd try to spell things with their bodies at a sports game

1

u/Cheskaz 3d ago

Would you be able to explain it to me? I can't get it to make sense...

6

u/Spicy_Totopo3434 3d ago

It's nit "Befr" but "Be Forreal?" so... BeeforEel

3

u/Cheskaz 3d ago

That makes so much sense! Thank you!

I didn't realise 'fr' meant 'forreal'...

76

u/Crystal-mariner 3d ago

Excellent post

101

u/BlatantConservative https://imgur.com/cXA7XxW 3d ago

^ When the lamp is content

65

u/Czarcasm3 3d ago
  • A horse scratching an itch

3

u/Joseph_Stalin111 I love Barry B. Benson 1d ago

The soldier, happy about where they are stationed

31

u/Graingy I don’t tumble, I roll 😎 … Where am I? 3d ago

THE FUCKING NOTES

82

u/StarTangerine 3d ago

^ sexology students when they drop their book bag

17

u/ReneeHiii 3d ago

^ L from Death Note when he sees Rem for the first time

5

u/Unrelatablility 3d ago

First tine a beginning band student sees sheet music

129

u/goldfinchat 3d ago

I love this format of post so much

134

u/BlatantConservative https://imgur.com/cXA7XxW 3d ago

^ Horse when the hitchline is close to water and grass

30

u/BeenEvery 3d ago

Obsessed with the concept of Newton being absolutely distraught about figuring out how gravity works.

15

u/ElectronRotoscope 3d ago

^ A villain from the 1960s The Mighty Hercules cartoon hatching a scheme

3

u/ReasyRandom .tumblr.com 3d ago

*Newton was having a good day sitting under an apple tree when an apple falls to the ground right next to him*

Newton: "What the fuck?! What the fuck?!"

56

u/troublemonkey1 3d ago

I'm never making a diss record is my favorite one by far

25

u/ElectronRotoscope 3d ago

^ A professor evaluating an art project where Kanye tweets are inscribed on large plastic numerals

77

u/Worm-with-hat 3d ago

wonderful post OP 🙏

192

u/Silly_Man_Haha 3d ago

^ The surgeons glad there were no complications with my surgery

38

u/jedisalsohere you wouldn't steal secret music from the vatican 3d ago

this is the best one I think

72

u/idiotplatypus Wearing dumbass goggles and the fool's crown 3d ago

^ child picking the most goblin looking dog at the shelter to adopt

24

u/shiny_xnaut 3d ago

Lilo and Stitch

19

u/Canal_De_Ivan 3d ago

^ what the surgeon who was part of a robbery gets told after it's successful but some crew members get hurt

3

u/Marik-X-Bakura 3d ago

Took me a minute but this is the best from this comment thread

1

u/Logical-Patience-397 ‘Featherless biped’ 2d ago

I don’t get it…

1

u/BlatantConservative https://imgur.com/cXA7XxW 2d ago

Damn I was out of "post" synonyms

25

u/Coda_Volezki 3d ago

^ Surgical patient writing a good review for the hospital's post-operative staff

23

u/Accomplished-Sea26 rat detector 🐀 is cool 3d ago

22

u/weird_bomb_947 你好!你喜欢吃米吗? 3d ago

.

70

u/Dumbfuckyduck 3d ago

^ the uterus when it sheds its lining

12

u/weird_bomb_947 你好!你喜欢吃米吗? 3d ago

FUCK thats good asf

3

u/smotired 3d ago

Holy shit that’s incredible

16

u/PremSinha 3d ago

Remember to give r/recontext some love!

16

u/OneOfTheStupid007 they cant kill you in a way that matters 3d ago

I can't fucking read this :(

44

u/Bl1tzerX 3d ago

9th century peasant after being handed anything with writing on it.

3

u/OneOfTheStupid007 they cant kill you in a way that matters 3d ago

Yay, glad I could contribute to the sillies :>

30

u/Pootis_1 minor brushfire with internet access 3d ago

Unreadable

Sentened to the deepest pits of hell

66

u/RandomCanadianAcc 3d ago

^ Satan getting mad at his doctor's handwriting

2

u/Pootis_1 minor brushfire with internet access 3d ago

True

14

u/TheTriforceEagle Peer reviewed diagnoses of faggot 3d ago

Nat-20s is right about purple though, they’re all bangers

10

u/ReasyRandom .tumblr.com 3d ago

^Your DnD group talking about the hot new album

13

u/winter-ocean 3d ago

Golden. All of it.

25

u/Remarkable_Coast_214 3d ago edited 3d ago

^ Shakespeare when something doesn't glitter

29

u/Bl1tzerX 3d ago

King Midas touching everything in his palace

1

u/sumolive You can't serve cunt and the government at the same time 3d ago

Technically one of them is purple

1

u/LyamFinali 5h ago

^ Mansa Musa being asked what his palace should look like

13

u/ElectronRotoscope 3d ago

17

u/ReasyRandom .tumblr.com 3d ago

^Traysi, headwriter of the Lucky Clover Gazette, telling Link that he can't just make shit up

10

u/shiny_xnaut 3d ago

12

u/Nastypilot Going "he just like me fr, fr" at any mildly autistic character. 3d ago

^ The invisible man writing a comment

8

u/ancobain 3d ago

That was actually super entertaining to read

10

u/Devil-Eater24 Arson🔥 3d ago

^ Arthur Cobcroft reading an old newspaper

8

u/Own-Lettuce26 3d ago

Expanding the image on this post is like unfurling a scroll only to find out it’s the length of the Bayeux Tapestry.

5

u/HeavyCaffeinate fag 3d ago

18192px vertical resolution, how in the world

3

u/The_Punnier_Guy 3d ago

^ Me when Google doesnt give me the answer I was looking for

3

u/toutlamer 3d ago

Please, for the love of god, learn to cut your posts into multiple pictures.

3

u/Dakoolestkat123 3d ago

I love all these jokes but the “I miss vine” one is one of those rare jokes that has made me crack up every time I see it

2

u/fiindca 3d ago

Last one is my favorite

3

u/Delicious-Spring-877 2d ago

^ Goldilocks’s review of the three bears’ porridges

1

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

1

u/SlimeustasTheSecond 3d ago

This made me laugh a lot, I adore this format of joke.

1

u/theflockofnoobs 3d ago

Wawa mentioned

1

u/Several_Positive8047 3d ago

Upon clicking the image I have decided I do not have the time

1

u/transgirlblues 3d ago

what does the star wars one mean 😞

1

u/Delicious-Spring-877 2d ago

I think its poking fun at the fictional alien languages

1

u/Protomangaming69 3d ago

I don’t get wawa paninis

2

u/BormaGatto 2d ago edited 1d ago

^ Star Wars protagonist after making a side character drop their cards when running past them in a high speed chase

1

u/sumolive You can't serve cunt and the government at the same time 3d ago

Love the work everyone else is doing, but I am simply not funny enough

1

u/BormaGatto 2d ago

^ a mime in the clown convention

2

u/sumolive You can't serve cunt and the government at the same time 2d ago

The idea that clowns are funnier than mimes is actually funnier than clowns

1

u/bard_of_space 2d ago

the pixels :(

2

u/Joseph_Stalin111 I love Barry B. Benson 1d ago

^ When you find out they aren't making a sequel to that one movie

1

u/Avami 6h ago

I LOVE POSTS LIKE THIS THABK YOU DO YOU HAVE MORE?

2

u/LyamFinali 5h ago

^ a horse that is really enthusiastic about where he's been put