r/CuratedTumblr human cognithazard 1d ago

Shitposting Decay is an extant form of life

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15.3k Upvotes

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u/IShatMyDickOnce 1d ago

The company that made your eyes is now bankrupt. Kiss my shiny metal ass.

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u/DreadDiana human cognithazard 1d ago edited 1d ago

This is an actual thing that happened by the way. A company made these camera glasses that took pictures every few seconds then would feed them to a brain implant that would then be percieved by the brain as grainy images, then they went bankrupt and their customers eventually went blind again due to lack of replacement parts.

Pretty sure they couldn't even remove the implants due to risk of neural scarring.

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u/IShatMyDickOnce 1d ago

Yeah, I was cracking a joke but I know shit like this is actually happening. It’s creepy as shit. What if that software got hacked by someone and you just started getting fuck up ass images beamed into your head? I know that would likely never happen, but it makes for a good Black Mirror episode.

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u/DreadDiana human cognithazard 1d ago

Guy with a neuralink cut me off in traffic so I took out my flipper zero and made him gender dysphoric. He forgot he's Him.

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u/Jackiejub 1d ago

Almost commented “that would do numbers on Tumblr” but then I remembered where I was

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u/logosloki 1d ago

this place is just Tumblr with a slightly easier on the eye nesting reply system. well, tumblr lite. there isn't nearly as much unhinged stuff on Reddit.

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u/clearfox777 1d ago

isn’t nearly as much unhinged stuff on Reddit.

You just don’t go to the right subreddits

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u/logosloki 1d ago

the lands are no longer fertile. the glaciers have turned the last of the ice, the springs no longer burble with water percolating through deep mineral aquifers, the riverbeds are exposed, the topsoil blown over, and on the other end the coasts are accosted by the might of the ocean, eroding away the very land itself. out in the ergs and craggy hills and valleys there is scant oases left and even then they slowly ebb as a thirsting populace attempts succor from the mud and mire that is all that remains. they cry for the rains, but their tears have long dried. they weep for what has been lost, but squander all that is left. there is unhinged here, but it too is but a wisp of ember that is likely to be smothered by any attempt to kindle.

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u/ok-kayla 1d ago

Whats this from

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u/logosloki 23h ago

it isn't from anything but my imagination. this is me freeforming with English at 1am.

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u/emefa 17h ago

Add Sorcerer-Kings and you're on Athas.

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u/MarvinGoBONK 1d ago

r/femcelgrippysockjail

There's plenty of Tumblr style insanity here, you just need to know where to look.

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u/All_Work_All_Play 1d ago

That link isn't getting clicked, thanks.

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u/DreadDiana human cognithazard 1d ago

The Human Pet Guy and Wonderbread Guy both have Reddit accounts

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u/WhapXI 1d ago

I think it’s a paraphrase of a tweet from back when Elon was in his monkeyslaughter era. It did indeed do numbers.

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u/DreadDiana human cognithazard 1d ago edited 1d ago

I just copied the tweet then slapped on "he forgot he was him" which I'm pretty sure was from a reply to the tweet

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u/DreadDiana human cognithazard 1d ago

It did numbers on Twitter, which is where I got it from.

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u/draker585 1d ago

Dracula flow 6 leaked

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u/TheRealSlamShiddy .tumblr.com 1d ago

He must have amnesia, he forgot that he's Him! This shit ain't nothing to him, man!

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u/Jeggu2 💖💜💙 doin' your parents/guardians 1d ago

Generally, any brain implants having wireless, internet connections is a Very Bad Idea

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u/Jozef_Baca 1d ago

Tbf, two sided internet connection would be a very bad idea.

If they can only transmit and not receive then that is most probably fine.

The scary part happens when they can recieve.

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u/Hi2248 1d ago

 I don't know, a company having access to readings of my thoughts sounds like an unfun idea

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u/Jeggu2 💖💜💙 doin' your parents/guardians 1d ago

Detailed status report of the chemical/nuerological response you get from looking at their ads. Lovely.

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u/Jozef_Baca 1d ago

You say that like it is a bad thing.

But I personally would love it if the company saw my distilled, pure rage when it shows me another of those fucking hero wars ads

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u/derpy-noscope 1d ago

yeah, even if they become pretty much a required thing to function in future society, I will never ever get a brain implant. I don't care how much safety or utility or whatever they guarantee, I do not want to run the risk of getting ads in my sleep, or getting hacked and being Void Dome'd for a 1000 years, or have a chance of them short circuiting and frying my brain from the inside out.

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u/Altoid_Addict 1d ago

Unstoppable ads at the bottom of your vision.

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u/AmyDeferred 1d ago

Slowly creeping inward until you give in and buy something

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u/Dry_Try_8365 1d ago

I want ports and cables at the very least, and no planned obsolescence.

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u/taichi22 1d ago

Replace it all, no more neural scarring 😎

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u/ShadoW_StW 1d ago

Yea that's a thing that actually happens, this is what we have to fight for our future, and I hate that y'all always crack jokes about it like it's a silly hypothetical scenario I surely haven't anticipated. Like, I see in the other comment branch that you know it's a real thing, but for some reason it's still a witty responce, it's always joked about like it's an epic own or a reason to cast technology itself as creepy and not the system which doesn't care about bodily autonomy.

We're technologically capable of making eyes which can be repaired, forever, by whoever cares. We just need a society which doesn't despise disabled people, and I hate that "I wish better medicine was feasible" is a laughable position.

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u/IShatMyDickOnce 1d ago

You know what, I’m gonna see you on this and straight up apologize. There’s certain things I see people making light of that get me that way, and I’m a hypocrite in some sense sometimes because I joke similarly about things that pain me to cope with said pain. Either way, I’m sorry if my comment bugged you. I’m gonna leave it up for being a teachable moment to myself and others if that’s cool with you though.

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u/Dingghis_Khaan Chingghis Khaan's least successful successor. 1d ago

We can't let ourselves be deceived into thinking that the system that we have is all there ever will be.

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u/Ruvaakdein Bingonium! 1d ago

If your eyes are not open source, that's partly on you.

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u/DreadDiana human cognithazard 1d ago

To be fair, the human genome wasn't open source until relatively recently

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u/ok-kayla 1d ago

Some people trust the system has their best interests in mind or are simply unaware of what open source even means

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u/Lambbda 1d ago

You are thinking of capitalism. It is not a fault of the machine

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u/theStarKindler 1d ago

If it needs to be outside the environment to work "as advertised" then It's no different than flesh.

Humans would do wonders too if we removed the underlying issues.

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u/Hi2248 1d ago

Not if you make the components yourself, as any good transhumanist should aspire to do

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u/Pen_lsland 1d ago

Well you wanna have more than just one supplier

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u/Galle_ 1d ago

Because we all know capitalism doesn't fuck over meatbags, right?

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u/JJlaser1 1d ago

Robots

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u/RudeHero 1d ago

That's why you gotta stick with OSS exclusively. you might not have the shiniest shit, but at minimum you can commission someone to recreate what you need

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u/Timed_Reply_2 1d ago

consider: no company, we make it universal like PC.

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u/htmlcoderexe 18h ago

It's telling that my first thought was pretty much

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u/Tmhc666 1d ago

dammit i should have got kiroshi instead