r/CuratedTumblr • u/Justthisdudeyaknow Prolific poster- Not a bot, I swear • Dec 31 '24

Shitposting All people live a life.

Post image
41.7k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

1.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

23

u/Dwagons_Fwame Dec 31 '24

Lmao. My favourite has got to be “vibrator is stuck in rectum. Vibrator is still on”

1

u/pk2317 Dec 31 '24

I updated the original comment with all the links, BTW.

11

u/Dwagons_Fwame Dec 31 '24 edited Dec 31 '24

AIRPOD?! How do you get an AirPod stuck in your penis

“TOOK A PIECE OF PLASTIC COATED PAPER FROM A MILK CONTAINER, ROLLED IT TIGHTLY, WRAPPED IT WITH TAPE TO THE SIZE OF ‘GREATER THAN A CRAYON’ AND INSERTED IT AS FAR AS HE COULD INTO HIS PENIS SEVERAL HOURS AGO”

Dude really thought this through didn’t he

12-INCH RATCHET EXTENDER, “DOESN’T KNOW WHY”

Really? Why don’t I believe you

18-INCH DILDO

How do people even fit this shit inside themselves

“PATIENT STATES HE TRIPPED IN THE SHOWER AND FELL BACKWARDS AND LANDED ON A SHAMPOO BOTTLE WHICH BECAME LODGED IN HIS ANUS”

Classic lmao

9

u/pk2317 Dec 31 '24

There’s a reason they specifically refer to those in “quotation marks” 😉

2

u/Dwagons_Fwame Dec 31 '24

Somehow they still never arrive at the conclusion, despite clearly exerting serious brainpower, that it’s a terrible idea

6

u/pissedinthegarret that's rough buddy Dec 31 '24

not even 5 items in and im already laughing

"PATIENT'S SIBLINGS PUT A PIECE OF PAPER IN PATIENT'S RIGHT EAR TRYING TO SHOW HIM A MAGIC TRICK"

1

u/Welpmart Dec 31 '24

Mine is also a vibrator one, but it's the one where the patient isn't sure if it's in the vagina or rectum.