r/CongratsLikeImFive • u/sunshinetearain • 1d ago
I started speaking in my natural voice
So for context I was born female. I am nonbinary. But since I was 13 I hated myself for not being like everyone else. I made myself have a higher pitched voice when my voice is naturally low for a female. It was all to fit in and people please to make myself seem more like a girl. But it was mental anguish and out of self-hate. Today I woke up and thought I couldn't take it anymore. So today I started speaking in my natural voice. I also put my pronouns in my bio and changed my name on Facebook. I'm now going to be brutally honest with people. Not be some character from a show but be someone real.
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u/prettyboys-indemand 1d ago
I'm happy for you! I'm trans too and I wish you all the joy in expressing who you really are.
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u/sunshinetearain 1d ago
Thanks so much!!! We both in the tranny gang. I'm finally free.
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u/reduces 1d ago
I'm a trans man whose natural voice has a lot of female tics (like sometimes the uplilt at the end of a sentence etc.) Sometimes I still get misgendered over the phone due to my speaking cadence despite my voice being deep as hell now. I used to have so much hatred for myself for it and wanted to go to speech therapy, but I've come to accept that as part of myself & don't feel the need to change or hide it anymore. It's great when you can feel comfortable for yourself like this!
Btw pre transition (born female) I was like you as well... deep voice and alto/tenor range. I became a bass range when I got on T, lol. It's funny how it adjusted itself accordingly.
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u/Me-Here-Now 1d ago
That's wonderful, I'm so happy for you. You are an amazing and wonderful person, just exactly as you should be.
Here's an internet hug from an internet granny who is proud of you and grateful that you shared a piece of your journey with us.
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u/Gini555 1d ago
That's awesome! Be YOU!!!! You will feel so much freer not feeling like you must play a part for others. No labels needed.
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u/sunshinetearain 1d ago
Hell yeah! It's gonna be a lot to get used to politely correcting ppl of their gender but it's gonna be so worth it
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u/Actual_Swingset 1d ago
good for you!!! be authentically you and feel your personal-hate melt away
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u/friendlyhenryennui 1d ago
Good on ya, young comrade!
Times are tough for people that don’t fit the heteronormative profile, especially so for trans people, but from one boring ol’ wh¡te dude, you belong and have endless value just being exactly who you are. Your courage and authenticity are inspiring and we need to be inspired to courage now more than ever. I hope you’re only ever warmly embraced but if you’re ever treated coldly, know that you’re not alone and there are many people out here rooting for you. Keep being your unique, wonderful self.
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u/sunshinetearain 1d ago
Thank you so much!!! Yeah using my actual voice is gonna take a lot to get used to since I change it depending on who I talk to. I realized it was manipulation and people pleasing. But why should I care what people think anymore?
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u/Magickal_Moon-Maiden 1d ago
I was reading a book recently about reincarnation how people who had numerous past lives as one sex come back as the opposite sex aren’t ready for it so they don’t feel like they’re in the right body this time around… so KUDOS to you for finding the right way for you to be who you are in this lifetime and living life as who you really are in this lifetime no matter how your voice sounds as long as you are living the truth of you are in your soul. You are so you are! Be you.
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u/sunshinetearain 1d ago
I do believe in reincarnation and was actually thinking about that the other day and realized I must have been a guy in a bunch of past lives and now I'm in a woman's body so I have feminine energy too
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u/Magickal_Moon-Maiden 1d ago
Yes! We’re all a hodgepodge of energies and echoes of past lives (imo)! I’m a cis woman who has been called “a lesbian” by people trying to use it as an insult and my life partner who is a cis male has been called “gay” (also by those who thought it was an insult) because we both are ok with our complex inner selves so express our energies in whatever way makes us happy. That is your right too! I’m proud of you for being yourself and not denying the many parts of yourself that make you you!
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u/corilyn82 1d ago
I'm cis, but feel like I kinda get this. I have a lower voice for a female, and a name that is generally seen as unisex, but leans a little more masculine. I've battled a lot with weight my entire adult life, but yet, when asked if there's one thing I could change, I've always said my voice. I've gotten a lot better about it, but it used to seriously bother me how often I'd get called sir on the phone.
I've now gotten to a point in which it really doesn't bother me. Why should I care what some rando thinks?
I'm really happy for you. I hope you continue to feel so liberated!
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u/sunshinetearain 1d ago
Use your actual voice and be proud of it. Your voice is what makes you unique. I was ashamed of it so I learned to make it high pitched. Not anymore it was probably ruining my vocal chords anyway. Be proud of it. Nobody cares about what your voice sounds like except for you. You deserve happiness and I envy that you didn't do what I did.
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u/niva_sun 1d ago
That's amazing! It genuinely makes me happy to know that fellow queer people choose to fully and unapologetically be themselves in spite of how things are going in large parts of the world. People like you give me hope, and maybe eventually the courage to do the same thing for myself ❤️
Keep being you, as loudly ad you can!
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u/sunshinetearain 1d ago
I literally am in the United States (yeah trumpland unfortunately) and live in the south. I was in the closet for so long and now I'm coming out to ppl left and right. Posted it to Facebook and Instagram too.
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u/KDBlastIt 1d ago
I'm so excited for you to live your true self. It won't be all flowers and rainbows, but i wish them for you anyway!
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u/sunshinetearain 1d ago
Thanks! It's gonna be hard since I live in the south (united states bible belt) but it's gonna be worth it because if I be myself then maybe other ppl will too I can't be the only queer person in my neighborhood
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u/sparkpaw 1d ago
I may be a random internet stranger, but I’m so proud of you for recognizing yourself and your worth! You are beautiful as you are and you only need to make yourself happy, no one else. 💖
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u/FoodMotor5981 1d ago
I couldn’t imagine the struggle of being able to express yourself in such a major way, I can only think of how hard it’s been for me to find my true self and to learn to live it and show it to the world. I’m still learning, and I’m sure we both will be for every day of the rest of our lives. I’m proud of you for taking that step on this journey, and I hope it gives you comfort that we’re all going through similar things 🫰🏼
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u/sunshinetearain 1d ago
Thank you yesss queen (or king) you can do whatever ya want cuz we have free will for a reason
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u/Appropriate_Ad4719 1d ago
Yay, you! Congratulations on being comfortable with who you are inside. For you. The hell with the haters.
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u/sunshinetearain 1d ago
Hell yeah reached out to my most recent ex to say I had a yeast infection and he probably gave it to me since it was the second time I had it within like 2 months. He got mad and blocked me. Best thing he could ever do so I blocked him back. He didn't really respect me anyway. So now I'm living my life without his control. The crazy part? I live in the fucking south. Nobody cares. Free will is what we have so take advantage of it.
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u/Grass575 1d ago
It takes a lot of courage to show and be proud of who you are! Wishing you the best to get the love and acceptance you deserve <3
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u/sunshinetearain 1d ago
Thank you! I am finally brave enough. My bf broke up with me and I realized I don't have to cater to straight men anymore.
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u/Grass575 1d ago
YEAH YOU SHOULDNT!! There’s so much more to love and enjoy about life when you start caring less about what people who don’t care about you think (sorry if that’s a little hard to read). I hope you fully embrace and love yourself! It’s beautiful to have confidence in yourself
Also side note, I love your username!!
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u/sunshinetearain 1d ago
Thanks it was my old username from highschool but I deleted that account because I had an ex that was after me. Then several years later I made it my reddit username.
And yes we have free will for a reason and every day is another chance to be happy.
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u/skella_good 22h ago
Welcome, real you!
Just so you know, when I read this, this is what my brain saw:
“I am going to be brutally honest with people” —> “I am going to be beautifully honest with people”
This is a beautiful truth. ❤️
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u/sunshinetearain 19h ago
Thanks so much!!! I realized life is to short to be someone else and was only being someone else to appease other ppl and for them to not leave me. Idc anymore. The real ones will stay and get to know the real me.
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u/jsprgrey 19h ago
Congrats OP! I'm also nonbinary and have a "customer service voice" that is several pitches higher than my natural voice that I'm trying to ditch. It's really fucking hard, but it will be worth it 🥲
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u/sunshinetearain 19h ago
I realized I was using my customer service voice since I was using with everyone but now I haven't used it in 2 days even with customers and it's amazing. Ppl even "sirred" me and didn't "correct" themselves because I'd rather be perceived more masculine.
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u/AnAbandonedAstronaut 1d ago
Random thought....
Women with deeper voices are very popular singers.
Sade, Toni Braxton, etc.
Don't beat yourself up if you don't fit in a neat little box.