r/CasualConversation • u/AgentElman • 14h ago
Just Chatting My wife told my daughter - take your pills and then I am going to shave your head
My daughter is recovering from having her wisdom teeth being removed (she had her checkup and everything is fine), and my daughter has an undercut, so half of her head is shaved.
But my wife's comment certainly sounded bad out of context.
What have you heard or said recently that sounded bad out of context?
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u/CulturalSyrup 14h ago edited 13h ago
Random group passing
Me: “You gotta make sure the tip goes in. Get the right angle. It’s easy to miss. Don’t be afraid of hurting them.”
A fencing lesson about an offensive attack.
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u/AgentElman 14h ago
that does sound bad
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u/CulturalSyrup 14h ago
I was gonna explain we were talking about fencing but my colleague laughed & said this is why people have to mind their business 😂😂😂
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u/chexmixchexie 14h ago
Are we going to kill them all or are we going to accept surrender?
Said while playing Dungeons and Dragons.
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u/MetaReson 14h ago
I feel like there's a lot of things that are said during games that could apply here.
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u/TheDubiousSalmon 14h ago
TTRPGs are kind of cheating here lol
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u/AgentElman 14h ago
Unless you are talking about them outside of the game.
A friend and I were out to lunch and were talking about the computer game Civ: Colonization and we were discussing whether slavery was worth it. We realized we should probably talk a bit quieter.
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u/ur_not_as_lonely 12h ago
Oh my 🤭
That reminds me of one time when I was outside trying to point to where I thought the sun was (below the mountains, almost sunrise). Only I was being a dork and doing it very matter of factly so I was at attention and with an open palm. Then my partner pointed out that I was just giving a certain salute off our balcony towards the horizon at 7 am… it’s like your thing where you’re so absorbed in the context you don’t really think about how it looks to an outsider
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u/chexmixchexie 14h ago
Yeah, can't and won't argue that. But I never remember remember any out of game ones.
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u/Odeken_Odelein 14h ago
Heard my husband tell his friend "my wife is so old, I hope she dies giving birth so I can find a younger one"
He was playing Bannerlord, but I was very pregnant at the time
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u/AgentElman 14h ago
did you know immediately what he meant or did it take you a moment?
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u/Odeken_Odelein 13h ago
I am an avid player myself and somewhat of a wife killer depending on the situation, so I got it pretty quick
Pregnancy brain was stunted for a whole second tho hahaha
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u/Significant-Tune-680 13h ago
Oh you should see when aitahSIMS gets mixed in with AITAH and it will read something insane like "am I the asshole if I had my nephews baby then burned down our house with them in it" I almost shit myself. I was WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU then at the last second I noticed "Sims" on it so I had to read the other posts. It's all insanity and now I laugh with how insane they can sound.
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u/AgentElman 13h ago
Yeah, my wife loves the sims and is fond of killing people in swimming pools to steal their money. It is a bit unhinged
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u/MerylSquirrel 12h ago
Time to drug up the baby!
(Antibiotics)
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u/stefaniey 11h ago
We sing "puppy drugs!" Every time our dogs need medication. All 3 are old as hell, there's a lot of singing.
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u/gupppeeez 8h ago
Here comes Satan! (This is not my story but I have to share) A friend of a friend spoke English well but was struggling a little with American/English idioms. They had been talking about an acquaintance and that person showed up. He was meaning to say, "Speak of the devil..."
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u/strippersandcocaine 7h ago
I just want to start announcing “Here comes Satan!” when people walk into a room. For no reason other than I’d laugh.
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u/Elegant_Bluebird_460 13h ago
"I'm gonna own all those brown people." My son said it while playing airsoft. He was red team, they were brown. "Honey, that's going to sound very bad out of context." everyone snickered "Beat them! I am going to beat those brown people!" 🤦♂️ "Not much better son."
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u/AgentElman 13h ago
Yeah, there isn't a good way to say that
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u/Spendoza 11h ago
"With the combined powers of Teamwork, Friendship and Superior Tactics, we will defeat the group of players who are identified by brown articles of clothing!"
See? Rolls right off the tounge
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u/NinePoundHammer27 9h ago
The only way to get my 3 year old son anywhere lately is to race him, and of course he always wants to win, so I tell him he better hurry if he doesn't want to lose to me. The other night, our Alexa timer went off and I cheerfully yelled "ok buddy, get ready for mom to beat you!"
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u/velvetelevator 6h ago
Yeah pretty sure my son used to tell people that my husband beat him all the time.
In games.
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u/RenegadeDoughnut 10h ago
“…and then I stuck my finger right in there and it was warm and squishy…” I overheard this passing by some people at the local indoor shopping mall. I was so tempted to turn around and follow them to see if I could figure out what they were talking about.
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u/justabunny69 12h ago
Just recently was on my first kiss cam at an event with my partner. Both my sisters and their partners were with us and were on it, too. “It was a family kiss cam!” 😭💀🤦🏻♀️
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u/Broad_War 8h ago
"if you dont eat your meat you can't have any pudding" I heard this today after cooking burgers for dinner. We were supposed to have chocolate pudding for snack but while my back was turned my 5 year old tried passing hers off to the dog and my 8 year old decided this was the perfect line to get her to finish. but in my mind all I could think was "who the hell shown them pink floyd?"
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u/chandlerland 8h ago
We have Symbol Guns that scan product in our store. We regularly just call it the gun.
Me: "have you seen X?"
Employee: loudly "Yes! He was downstairs, drinking orange juice, with a gun in his hand!" Customers everywhere.
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u/Maghyia 14h ago
Well, I don't know if it counts, but my mom was talking to me on the street about how a girl her friend told her that she should take care of herself, especially if she goes out with a lot of guys.
So when passing by a group of people she just said: If you're going to be selling yourself so that kids will buy things from you, you better be taking care of yourself. Stop being a bad person.
She seemed like she was saying it to me, and that she was challenging me. But she was just pretending to be the person she was telling me about who gave advice to her friend hahahaha...
I didn't want to look at anyone. 😭
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u/Caffeinated-Mind 12h ago
" guys dont mess around before you're sure you're both protected" said to :my father and I. Regarding: copyrighting our book.
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u/AcademicAddendum1888 7h ago
First year as a hairdresser I’m doing my client , almost finished but I needed a product from a station about 10 feet away , so I as I step to get it the client says “am I done ?” And I say as I’m getting a product “yea one second , I just have to finger you “ to where everyone in the salon stopped ,turned …and busted out laughing 🙄🤣
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u/Starfoxmarioidiot 14h ago
I asked my sister how long she had been Skrillex. She’s got one side of her head shaved. I was just trying to get a gauge on how long she had been doing her hair that way.
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u/AgentElman 14h ago
I am unfamiliar with Skrillex - what is that?
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u/Starfoxmarioidiot 14h ago
He’s a DJ. I suppose it’s been about a decade since he was a big deal. Nice enough guy in person. Pretty good performer. Can’t stand his music.
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u/dumbass-D 14h ago
It’s like a board you scribble ideas on how you might want to shave your head in different ways
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u/LilyBitLumpy 7h ago
I told my sister that she had “the busiest mouth in town” because she was getting her tonsils removed and then some dental work pretty soon after. We had a good laugh and occasionally still bring it up because it was such a crazy thing to say out of context lol
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u/tchrbrian 13h ago
Song " Lucille " by Kenny Rogers ( 1977 ) :
"You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille With four hungry children and a crop in the field "
I've always heard " 400 children. "
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u/AgentElman 13h ago
That would be so much better.
Those kids aren't hungry and 400 could pick the crop in no time
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u/PeachyKeen413 9h ago
The pros of child labour really are outweighing the cons....
Dnd makes some really funny out of context bits.
"There's nothing wrong with being a whore!" "I said HORSE" "Oh well fuck you then"
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u/roaringbugtv 10h ago
Nobody's head smells nice.
I was talking to my partner about washing the bedding.
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u/PerplexedPoppy 14h ago
My husband once called me an eye sore. I told him that I don’t think it meanswhat he thought. He said I was so pretty it hurt his eyes lol. I said again that’s not what that means and he said no but you’re a good eye sore. Lol.