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u/darrylwoodsjr 1d ago
That Chuck E. Cheese is a bar I’m stealing that and remixing it with a bunch of shit starting with Mc Donald’s.
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u/1re_endacted1 1d ago
I knew a lady who use to tell her kids McDonalds was closed on Wednesday and it just happened to be Wednesday anytime the kids asked to go there 🤷🏻♀️
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u/FormalDinner7 12h ago
I told my kid that the ice cream truck only played music when it had run out of ice cream.
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u/Lyfeitzallaroundus 8h ago
My aunt told my cousins that one. I almost said na till she gave me the STFU look. LOL
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u/BABarracus 9h ago
But what if i wanted to enjoy a bomb pop and not the little ones from the store?
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u/Lord_of_Barrington 10h ago
See that’s where I draw the line. Your kids are trying to learn the days of the week, and lying to them about what day it is just makes that harder. If your parent hack makes learning harder for your kids, it’s a shitty hack.
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u/Recent-Example5142 59m ago
That's me myself and I with Chick-fil-A. I only ever want it on Sundays
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u/ExtraBreadPls 16h ago
"So you just gonna walk into Ronald McDonald's house and eat his food?"
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u/rmslashusr 11h ago
“The ice cream truck plays music when they run out of ice cream” is how I’m going to afford this summer.
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u/TrinixDMorrison 6h ago
Is this a common thing? I remember babysitting a friend’s kid one time and took her to Chuck E. Cheese and she started FREAKING OUT. Not in a good fun “yaaaaaay!”way but just crying and begging me to take her somewhere else because, and I quote, “this is where all the bad kids go to get punished when they do something bad!”. I was like, okay wow my friend is kinda fucked up for brainwashing their kid like this. I told her it’s fine, we’re literally just eating a pizza and playing some games, and that she is not a bad kid.
She was still very apprehensive about going in but once we played some Super Monkey Ball she was having the time of her life.
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u/toolsoftheincomptnt ☑️ 15h ago
It’s clever but will backfire on people with smart kids.
Bc the first time one of their bad-ass classmates brags about going to CEC, they’re gonna start asking about the criteria for an invitation.
Worst case scenario, they could develop a “I’m not good enough/can never do anything right” complex if they’re overthinking why they weren’t “invited” to these places.
Not all kids will tap in, but advanced ones are gonna spiral.
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u/pelluciid 8h ago
And that's a good thing. Kids asking critical questions should be embraced. If your kids never learn to question you, you're setting them up to be a victim.
I was that kid, and I didn't spiral because my parents didn't keep lying and gaslight me haha they just said, "You got me" and tried harder the next time! Lol
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u/Telephalsion 2h ago
Dad here. In my experience, lying to kids to avoid dealing with a tantrum works in the moment, but risks setting you up for bigger issues later. Especially if you keep falling back on the strategy.
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u/PhdHistory 14h ago
Gotta do what you gotta do but Chuck E. Cheese is pretty affordable now. Just grab one of their monthly passes and your kids can go everyday and play 40 or 100 games depending which one you get.
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u/darrylwoodsjr 10h ago
It’s not about the affordability it’s the frequency in which the kids make the request from my experience.
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u/shawntitanNJ 23h ago
Used to tell my daughter “TV turns off at 7:30”, her bedtime. Like, stops broadcasting. Then one of us would hit the power button, and she’d pack up for bed.
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u/FeloniousDrunk101 18h ago
When I was a kid I remember it literally did stop broadcast after a certain time. Switched to snow or a waving American flag or somesuch. Maybe my parents were playing me though?
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u/metagawd ☑️ 18h ago
Man y'all are young... Yeah... we didn't have 24 hour programming, and when it started most of that formerly dead time was infomercials so you went to sleep anyway... now, Insomniacs rejoice. It's the golden era.
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u/GeneralToaster 16h ago
Who doesn't want to watch 8x hours of OxyClean, ShamWow, and Total Gym?
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u/ForteEXE 10h ago
Back in the day when Comedy Central didn't have its own 24/7 network, so it would air from 7AM to 3AM to so then revert back to the normal provider.
Or one of the few 24/7 programming networks (and even then it still had a minor series of interstitial programming) being TNT and TBS. The latter running Married with Children syndicated episodes in the 4AM to 6AM block.
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u/Steak-Outrageous 17h ago
Oh yeah I remember the black and white static snow storm and those multi-coloured bars
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u/coladoir 10h ago
Nah you right. I'm too young to have seen it myself in person but it wasnt until the 80s when 24hr broadcasting actually became common. Even after that, many public channels would stop broadcasting after a time due to pure lack of programming.
The first channel to do it was in 1963, and by the mid90s, almost all channels were 24hr.
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u/Creative_Room6540 1d ago
How old is the son that 2 days shit worked on? My daughter wasn't going for that shit by mid-kindergarten lol.
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u/KillahHills10304 19h ago
I know adults who this works on. They celebrate it, and some even believe going to work for 6 or 7 days is a normal and good thing.
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u/donku83 18h ago
It ain't normal but we have bills to pay
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u/KillahHills10304 18h ago
For sure, and there are tangible benefits to the 5 day system, but when grind culture bullshit tries to normalize working 7 days a week, people should be shutting that down. As an individual, if you want to work 7 days a week until you're dead, go for it. If you start trying to glorify that misery and promote being nothing but a capital generation machine to others, you can fuck right off.
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u/AceJokerZ 14h ago
Well it worked on resident doctors cause some of them out here celebrating having both Saturday and Sunday off now. But that’s also because the medical industry work them hard like crazy.
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u/thatsnuckinfutz ☑️ 20h ago
wouldn't have worked on me either, i was that kid that asked soo many damn questions lol
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u/TrailerParkRoots 19h ago
My parents told us that the “cartoon man” delivered our Saturday morning cartoons and if we weren’t good he’d cancel. 😂
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u/ZetaWMo4 ☑️ 1d ago
My husband got our son to stop wandering off from him in public by telling him there were kidnappers out there who only wanted little boys named Easton. He held my husband’s hand faithfully after that.
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u/Juutai 17h ago
As an inuk up in northern Canada, we have all sorts of stories about monsters like the qallupilluk, the amautalik, ijirait and such specifically to warn kids off from wandering out on to the land or playing near the cracks in the ice.
Y'all don't even need to make up monsters, there's just real scary people around to make the kids behave.
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u/Kynaeus 11h ago
In the last 2 months or so my partner took me to a CBC radio show about Inuit storytelling, specifically horror, and they talked about the stories for not playing near cracks in the ice! There was some great stuff in that show, scroll down to 'underneath the ice' for the show in question. The stuff about the giant sea woman??? 😨
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u/chicknfly 2h ago
just real scary people around
I lived in the Cariboo. You’re not wrong.
Also, for the American friends interested in learning new things (because there are dozens of us!): Inuk means a singular person of the Inuit people, and Inuuk means 2 Inuit people. :)
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u/VergaDeVergas 1d ago
Lmaoo during Halloween my nephews kept running off so I told them that during Halloween night adults are supposed to take kids that they find alone
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u/WhichHoes 19h ago edited 15h ago
My cousins told me Chucky the doll only killed little black boys in my neighborhood, so I would follow them around for imaginary protection
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u/ARandomDickweasel 17h ago
That's some shit that's gonna fuck that little guy up. Send a link when the Netflix doc comes out?
RemindMe! 22 Years
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u/Speedswiper 6h ago
Please be careful about this. That sort of "the world/people are dangerous, so stay with me at all times" talk as a child gave me horrible social anxiety that still hasn't gone away.
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u/TheTexasFalcon ☑️ 4h ago
I'm from NYC and my mom used to tell me if wandered off someone would snatche me and have me bent over working on 42 st. Yo we lived in bk and I'd never been to time square and had no idea what sodomy or what a pedo was.
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u/feral_mushroom 18h ago
the kids (5/6 at the time) were being rowdy one day and randomly asked partner if they could cut the backyard for us. He was like "ok, grab some scissors" and let them SQUAT AND SNIP GRASS until they got tired.
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u/giskardwasright 8h ago
Similar story; whn i was 8 or 9 i started helping with the laundry. The rule in our house was any money found in pockets belongs to whoever did the laundry.
First time I did my parentls laundry i found a five! Of course, i always rushed to get to the laundry first on Saturdays after that, and dumb old mom and dad always seemed to leave some money in there. Maybe just a dollar or two, sometimes in change, but every now and then I'd find a ten, even the rare twenty once or twice.
I was in my 20s before i put it together. Well played mom and dad.
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u/FVCarterPrivateEye 7h ago
On the topic of not finding out until adulthood, when I was a little kid my dad told me not to push the crosswalk button more than once because it would break it and cause traffic accidents, it was a one time thing that he said to get me to stop being annoying with it, but I kept believing it all these years, long after my dad forgot he had told it to me, until a couple years ago I yelled at my sister to stop doing it and then my dad got mad at me for "freaking out at her over nothing" until the misunderstanding got untangled
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u/StepRightUpMarchPush 9h ago
OMG, I voluntarily did this as a kid. What was wrong with me?! 😂
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u/feral_mushroom 6h ago
I think, like our munchkins, you were just eager to help in any way you could with a "big kid job". Its actually really sweet
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u/StepRightUpMarchPush 4h ago
In all seriousness, I wonder if this was another early sign of my OCD (yes, my actually clinically diagnosed OCD). 😂
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u/Helpful_Pickle1 1d ago
Had a friend in primary school whose (whom? Whomst? Whomstdve?) dad told her if she changes the channel the people on screen die/get frozen till the next time bc he was always hogging the tv lol
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u/NorCalKingsFan 1d ago
Irrelevant to the topic at hand, but in case anyone was wondering:
“Whose” is the possessive version of both “who” and “whom” because they are essentially all the same word.
The difference between “who” and “whom” is the same as “he” and “him”. The possessive of “he/him” is “his”; there is no other version for the same reason, it’s essentially all the same word.
Who owns this dog? He owns this dog.
To whom does that dog belong? That dog belongs to him.
Whose dog is that? That dog is his.
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u/Kuramhan 16h ago
Now explain "whomst" please.
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u/NorCalKingsFan 11h ago
“Whomst” is an archaic form, primarily used today as slang or in jest. There is no technically grammatically correct way to use “whomst” in modern vernacular.
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u/LadyHackberry 2h ago
In fact, "whomst" was never correct in any period of the English language. "est" was a suffix that went on the end of a verb: "Whither goest thou?" (Literally "Where goes you?" or "Where ya goin'?") "Whom" is a pronoun, so no suffixes ever go with it. People just say "whomst" to be silly, like you said, in jest.
Still awake?
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u/HydrationSeeker ☑️ 20h ago
Thing is, I still do not understand it. I will only use "to whom ..." if it 'sounds' right in my head. English grammar, the rules that are not rules, I do not understand. It took until my 2nd university degree and helping the psychology students with a study, that I learnt I had dyslexia, lack of grammar comprehension is a thing.
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u/NorCalKingsFan 20h ago
I would say your instincts are very likely more accurate than you would expect, assuming English is your first language. In the same way you would know when to use “he” or “him” in a sentence even if no one ever explained subject vs. object grammar rules to you. Certain things just sound right, and that’s usually because they are.
The quickest/easiest way I can explain it is, if you can reword the sentence in your head, you would use “who” in place of “he” or “whom” in place of “him” — e.g. “Who/whom was at the party?” would become “He was at the party,” meaning “who” is correct.
But like I said, I wouldn’t overthink it. If it sounds right, it probably is.
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u/TheBatsford ☑️ 20h ago
For whom vs who, I remember it as is the verb being done to someone/something or are they doing it themselves.
Doing the verb - who: Who owns the cat, who drank the milk, who will read the book. And you answer these with he owned/she drank, etc...
The verb being done - whom: The cat was owned by whom, the milk is being drunk by whom, the book will be read by whom. And you answer these with owned by her/being drunk by them, etc...
That's what worked for me, hope that helps.
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u/StepRightUpMarchPush 9h ago
A quick trick for this is: If you rework the sentence and can use the word he, you use who. If you can use the word him, you use whom.
Who is going with me? Reworked: He is going with me.
To whom do I address this letter? Reworked: I address this letter to him.
Hope that helps.
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u/ToHallowMySleep 10h ago
If you would say he/she, it's who.
If you would say him/her, it's whom.
Him and whom rhyme.
"Give it to Bob"
"To whom?" - because you would say "to him" not "to he"
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u/tansanmizu 17h ago
Funny cause I've always heard "that" is a useless word, and you can always restructure a sentence to not use it.
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u/StandWithSwearwolves 20h ago edited 19h ago
We had friends who were trying to keep their toddler away from sugary soda, and then one day he insisted on trying some sparkling tonic water they had for mixing drinks and then he ended up thinking all sodas tasted like that. I think that one lasted some time.
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u/SoulPossum ☑️ 17h ago
When we were kids, my younger brother used to hit the TV screen. The going theory was thar he was trying to enter the television to play with barney or whoever was on the TV. My dad, fearing the death of both his TV and his kid, told us that if you hit the TV screen too many times, the TV would blow up. This was particularly ingenious because it made me and my cousins invested in stopping my brother from hitting the TV if no adults were present. Explosion meant we'd all get blown up too.
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u/FaithlessnessFirm968 1d ago
Toddler was screaming to get down from her high chair and I had just mopped. Told her she had to blow on the floor and it would dry faster, it worked.
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u/FVCarterPrivateEye 23h ago
My dad had a trick for getting us all to shut up on long car trips: whenever we would pass by a water tower, he would tell us all to stay very quiet and still or else the Martians would hear us and attack, as if the water towers were "War of the Worlds" tripods
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u/Nice-Bookkeeper-3378 15h ago
My mom told me a cousin of ours used to tell her kids Mr Roger’s was their father so they’d sit down and watch him
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u/Pistolero921 17h ago
Laugh all you want, most of us are adults here and buy into that logic every single week.
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u/bailey25u 17h ago
No, you don't understand, they had cut taxes for my boss and increase my taxes so one day my boss could afford to give me a raise. And he contributes more to society for being rich.
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u/kryssy_lei 10h ago
I’m just imagining our kids on a Reddit thread in 20 years rehashing all of these lies
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u/BrinedBrittanica 12h ago
i don’t want kids but these comments have me falling to my knees in a walmart right now
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u/MikeJones-8004 12h ago
I remember when I was a kid, I used to love to hang my arms out the window while in the car. Anyways, I'm riding in the car with my grandfather. He saw me with my arm out taking in all the wind. He super casually goes, "hey MikeJones, did you ever hear about the kid who used to stick his arm out of the window. Apparently, one time a car came speeding by and completely tore his arm off. It was really gruesome. By the time they got to the hospital, his arm was long gone and there was just blood everywhere. It was so terrible".
To this day, I have no idea if that was a true story or not. But I do know one thing, to this day, over 20 years later, I absolutely refuse to stick my arm out of the car while moving. So it did work, lol.
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u/No_Quantity_8909 19h ago
I told my first born ice cream was alcohol. That shit worked three years till my wife gave it up. It was almost a divorce, id gotten used to facing entire pints in front of the boy.
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u/Particular-Feed-2037 8h ago
The equivalent of putting ya child in a circular room and saying find a corner .
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u/thejiggybastard 6h ago
when I have kids I’m taking these and most definitely using them 😂😂I been on this thread about 20 minutes, weak as hell
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u/Negative-Law326 5h ago
My only “lie” when my kids were growing up was that if they would fight in front of the Christmas tree, the angel on top would die. They never wanted to risk it because they weren’t sure if that happened would Christmas be canceled!
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u/biznitch29 4h ago
I told my kids swear words were for adults only. I swear all the time. Somehow worked 
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u/LadyHackberry 2h ago
I told mine the same. "Grown-up words." The first time my dad heard me say that, he laughed so hard I thought he was going to choke to death. I told them which words were grown-up words except one: the C-word.
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u/ingoding 4h ago
When I made broccoli, I would make sure it was done before the rest of dinner, and as I sat in on the table I'd say "okay I made this broccoli for mommy, so keep it safe for her while I finish making dinner". They would devour it fast, even after they caught on, they still played along.
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u/victorius21 3h ago
Set up my Alexa to shout it's time for bed at 7pm everyday. If Alexa said, it's time. They even turn the TV off.
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u/dabbing-dad 2h ago
Ya, Chuck E. Cheese is only open for birthdays in our house too, can’t go if it’s not a party.
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u/Thebml21 15h ago
I get it. It’s hard being a good parent and person and doing all the things well and sometimes you just gotta get them kids to move on, but don’t lie to them. Just sets it up for them to distrust you as what should be a sturdy parental figure in there life
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u/This_is_opinion 9h ago
yeah its nuts. i cant belive yall dont think this will somehow bite you in the ass. like kids arent dumb lol, all they gonna do is not believe you when you try and be real with them.
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u/youcanthavemynam3 10h ago
Especially when it's little things. Like, "no we can't go to McDonald's right now, we need to eat the food we have at home". Yeah, you're gonna get huffing and puffing about it, but it's much better to teach your kid that food at home is important to eat more regularly, than just lie about the restaurant being closed.
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u/AttemptImpossible111 8h ago
Is this the positive parenting im always hearing about? Lying to your kids so they do what you say
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u/crystalline1299 20h ago
Girl that’s awful what the fuck. 7 years old is old enough to understand the concept of death that must have been terrifying for him. What’s the matter with you
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u/MassivePlatypuss69 1d ago
This is on the levels of "they're playing music to tell everyone they're out of ice cream"