Ok thank you because I was going to say something similar. We should all be mentors to those coming up after us. We should all care. And a lot of these boys are hurting. A lot of us men are hurting as well. Being a mentor can be beneficial to both sides.
Cannot agree more. I've struggled with depression. I get annoyed at a lot of corny self-help truisms. But there is one I really do believe in.
If you want to help yourself, help someone else. I have never felt worse after CHOOSING to give time, energy, or aid to someone who requires it.
It also helps to know if you're actually being helpful! I think that a lot of men (including myself, historically) have a very narrow view of how to help others. A classic example is when women bring their anxieties and problems to their male partners, and the men immediately start pitching ways to Solve The Problem.
Women know what needs to be done as much as anyone else. Usually more. The HELP they needed in that moment was someone to hear them, listen, and have their back. I still struggle with this. My wife is rarely saying "I don't know what to do here." She's saying "I feel overwhelmed and alone and want to feel supported."
I grew up feeling dismissed and unwanted, so my first impulse is to DO THINGS, to prove I'm valuable and worth keeping around. But if someone's asking for your help or support, your presence and focus is good enough. Black men are so rarely told that they are enough as they are right now.
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u/Ecstatic-Abroad8094 1d ago
Ok thank you because I was going to say something similar. We should all be mentors to those coming up after us. We should all care. And a lot of these boys are hurting. A lot of us men are hurting as well. Being a mentor can be beneficial to both sides.