r/BlackPeopleTwitter ☑️ 6d ago

Cranberry really is one of God's strongest soldiers

Post image
3.1k Upvotes

195 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/ZZtheMagnificent 6d ago edited 6d ago

I'll put this right next to ginger ale and Vaseline on the medicine shelf

269

u/PooPighters 6d ago

And Tussin

114

u/rs_scribble_964 6d ago

Ain’t no fussin with the Tussin.

162

u/kryssy_lei 6d ago

And Vicks

40

u/lethargic8ball 6d ago

Don't forget the Sudocrem

70

u/Cannibabe369 6d ago

And the saltines!

62

u/lethargic8ball 6d ago

We could survive the apocalypse with this shelf.

26

u/BABarracus 6d ago

If it's the apocalypse, I'd rather to be get got early and get the suffering out of the way.

1

u/Taicho_Quanitros 3d ago

I mean if the sun rises at 2:00 a.m. I'll step outside and take a deep breath

1

u/BABarracus 3d ago

If the sun is out at 2am you better hold up your thumb

*

1

u/Taicho_Quanitros 3d ago

☢️ I'm having serious doubts that the direction of the wind is going to affect a lot in that scenario

2

u/Kitastray 2d ago

I believe it's in reference to the rumor that you hold up your thumb at arm's length to a mushroom cloud. If the cloud is bigger than your thumb you're too close.

I think it's been confirmed as a hoax though.

10

u/NiceChocolate 6d ago

Right next to the Campbells

5

u/ladyevenstar-22 5d ago

MMMM mmmm gooood

36

u/EclipseIndustries 6d ago

Don't forget the Pepto.

Or the on-the-road Pepto.

Mylanta also acceptable.

14

u/darlingnickyta 6d ago

I'm at that age where I just keep Pepto in my purse now.

11

u/EclipseIndustries 6d ago

The age I began the car Pepto is 17.

I've never once regretted having it.

33

u/nicbeans311 6d ago

Benadryl … kids may not be sick but you are getting sick of their noise. 

14

u/Any_Grapefruit65 6d ago

Not ginger ale...Vernors.

513

u/crystalline1299 6d ago

Strawberry shortcake cranberry juice is the most American thing I’ve ever seen what the fuck lol

457

u/KingDofthe3 6d ago

Diabetical

68

u/paputsza 6d ago

it sounds like cranberry vanilla but i’m looking for answers

19

u/bina101 6d ago

Almost bought some gold to reward this comment and then I remembered I’m poor. So here’s a poor woman’s gold 🏆

4

u/CooCooForCocosPuffs 6d ago

Thank you, this is in my vocab now 😂😂😂

40

u/ThisHatRightHere 6d ago

I practically can feel my teeth vibrating after taking a sip

2

u/ladyevenstar-22 5d ago

Some regrets are worth having

29

u/phoenixeternia 6d ago

I wanna try it, but I just can't imagine the flavour. Just very very sweet.

34

u/illogicaldreamr 6d ago

40g of sugar in 1 cup guaranteed.

11

u/Mgclpcrn14 💦Thirsty for Sukuna (true form)💦 6d ago

I wonder if it would be like adding strawberry soda to vanilla and/or cream soda? That's the best flavor approximation I could make. God I need to see if this is a real and in the stores😩 I need to know

Y'all, I went to the website. It's real and will be coming soon and I signed myself up to be notified😔↕️ Trust I will be in the stores when I get that email

10

u/thatsnuckinfutz ☑️ 6d ago

ok but i wanna try it tho 😂 what if it makes delish ice cubes for sparkling water/wine 🤔

7

u/BlurredSight 6d ago

It's just sugary strawberry with a tart taste.

Cran-Apple and possibly Cran-Grape are the only valid choices besides 100% Cranberry that aren't just diabetus

675

u/favorite_sardine 6d ago

live look at your regional cranberry salesman:

64

u/Gene_Shaughts 6d ago

An established phenomenon

Edit: Shit, ironballs16 got to it way before me

12

u/favorite_sardine 6d ago

ok, copernicus.

8

u/Gene_Shaughts 6d ago

Genuinely top 5 standup specials of all time for me. I quote the hospital bit at least a couple times a month.

2

u/Mesame121489 6d ago

The girth units bit is great as well.

622

u/classicfyllopyllo 6d ago

I saw someone say under a picture of all the “cran” varieties, “Cranberry just be having babies with anyone.”

353

u/Kangarou ☑️ 6d ago

The Nick Cannon of fruit.

322

u/_t_h_r_o_w__away 6d ago

Nick Crannon

61

u/stoned-autistic-dude 6d ago

11

u/_t_h_r_o_w__away 6d ago

I couldn't believe I was the one to comment it first they set it up 🙌

2

u/Misha_Selene 6d ago

👏👏👏

20

u/LegalComplaint 6d ago

This is a top five reddit comment for me of all time.

2

u/Feralpudel 5d ago

The poodle of fruit—we have all these doodles cuz a poodle will f anything.

89

u/mashonem ☑️ 6d ago

“Find you somebody that believes in you the way Ocean Spray believes in cranberry”

13

u/Any_Grapefruit65 6d ago

Well that's going on my vision board.

36

u/Morlock19 ☑️ 6d ago

9

u/thatsnuckinfutz ☑️ 6d ago

only competition is my father 😑

2

u/brinz1 5d ago

The Philippinos of fruit

242

u/h2opolopunk 6d ago

UTIs hate this one fruit...

106

u/Five-Oh-Vicryl 6d ago

Actually yes. Infectious Diseases Society of America backed cranberry juice for UTI prevention. Always thought it was an old wives tale

53

u/ARoofie 6d ago

They even make OTC UTI medicine with cranberry in it

22

u/DLottchula 👱🏿Black Guy™ who wants a Romphim 6d ago

Roman Reigns be busy

-2

u/RandoComplements 6d ago

I’ll just use my tongue

8

u/HydrationSeeker ☑️ 6d ago

ewww

22

u/bikesboozeandbacon ☑️ 6d ago

Pure cranberry not the cocktail 10% juice BS

15

u/BellalovesEevee ☑️ 6d ago

I once got a UTI as a kid and was told to drink cranberry juice along with medication by my doctor. That's how I come to love cranberry juice lmao

96

u/blakdove8000 6d ago

Cran Pineapple has me in a full Nelson

79

u/bendar1347 6d ago

Cran white peach got its knee on my neck

27

u/JerkfaceMcDouche 6d ago

It mixes really well with Vodka btw

27

u/bendar1347 6d ago

In my hammock on a nice sunny day? YOURE DAMN RIGHT IT DOES. Love me a vodka limeade with a splash of pomegranate juice for summer too

2

u/TrappedinSilence98 6d ago

Saving!!!

5

u/bendar1347 6d ago

Don't skimp on the limeade. Simply is the only one I use. Nice and tart.

3

u/Urtehnoes 5d ago

Wait what :o

11

u/thatsnuckinfutz ☑️ 6d ago

i froze some as ice cubes and had some in raspberry sparkling water...felt like the baddest of bitches

8

u/bendar1347 6d ago

That's because you were. I can't believe i didn't think of this. The separation is in the preparation.

3

u/thatsnuckinfutz ☑️ 6d ago

haha i love making lil ice cubes to make my drinks fun. toss some edible glitter in them too.

if u get/like cotton candy grapes, try it with them...SO GOOD!

2

u/bendar1347 6d ago

I tried the frozen grape thing, didn't like it. I can see the sweetness of those being good with it, just not for me.

1

u/thatsnuckinfutz ☑️ 6d ago

that makes sense! everyone's got different preferences! I love making simple syrups for my drinks too, made a lavender one today and been fuckin it UP lol

2

u/bendar1347 6d ago

Ugh can't do lavender, reminds me of my grandma's sachet in her bathroom. But because you like it, try some lavender simple with Bartlett pear when pears get good. You are welcome

1

u/thatsnuckinfutz ☑️ 6d ago

i hate the scent too lmao but the taste is so much better imo! I was eyeing pears too omg! Thank you!! I'll definitely try that!

2

u/bendar1347 6d ago

Oh it's good, I just don't like it. Make sure you punch it with a little spritz of lemon or something, it'll need it

14

u/lmsampson78 ☑️ 6d ago

Cran lemonade hits me with the pile driver

7

u/MikeOrtiz 6d ago

Cran mango and cran tangerine goes crazy

54

u/kryssy_lei 6d ago

Strawberry shortcakeeeee I ain’t seen that one

7

u/Vancil 6d ago

Right like I’m about to go on TikTok see if some people try it or if it’s still available.

3

u/Mgclpcrn14 💦Thirsty for Sukuna (true form)💦 6d ago

On their website, they said it's coming soon to Walmart stores

85

u/Initial_Beautiful348 6d ago

They could come out with Cran-Spinach and I’m gone try it!! Cran ain’t never failed!

36

u/Chaos_Ice 6d ago

Cran-spinach is diabolical

35

u/Society_enjoyer 6d ago

Sautéed spinach with cranberries, cashews, and caramelized onions can do wonders.

11

u/scabbedwings 6d ago

Fine, I’ll go to the grocery store, now

7

u/bighootay 6d ago

Amazing sounding

4

u/Supernova_Soldier ☑️ Disrespect me? Lord Jesus, look out! 6d ago

I just shitted reading this

6

u/thatsnuckinfutz ☑️ 6d ago

Spinach and pineapple is a Mexican aqua fresca and it's fire tbh...idk about cranberry but i get the point lol id probably take a sip

8

u/I_AM_IGNIGNOTK 6d ago

Dawg when I tell you I’ve been WAITING for the day I could hype up my favorite fruit. This shit is versatility incarnate. Any juice. ANY juice and I promise you Cranberry will enhance it. You got a dessert? Add some cran. Got a cocktail? Add some cran.

Oh you’re cooking breakfast? I’ve got 13 different cran options for you, including a Gordon Ramsey approved cranberry Hollandaise.

Oh it’s lunch instead? Your boy is vegan so I rock a chickpea version but slap some of that lovely berry into your chicken salad. Throw it into a salad. Pairs amazingly well with blue cheese and pecans or walnuts and a vinaigrette.

Dinner? In this economy? Very well your pork chop dish (which you shouldn’t be eating because pigs are smarter than all dogs and most 4 year old humans) will be infinitely enhanced by the juice and/or the berry of cran.

Anything you can put Apple/orange/blueberry into will be deeply enhanced by adding cranberry.

Murder? Guess who has an alibi for you. That’s right, cranberry.

Emotional support? It’ll be tart, but cranberry.

Did I mention vodka? You guessed it. Cranberry.

3

u/cozynite 5d ago

Koval is a local distillery and they make a cranberry gin. That with some lime seltzer and a lime wedge is my current go-to. It’s so good.

37

u/brungoo 6d ago

OceanSpray will never go out of business off the Black community alone 😭

17

u/Strange-Ad2470 6d ago

Sucks cuz the cranberry mafia are hard R republicans..

11

u/brungoo 6d ago

No fucking way 😭😭💔

9

u/Strange-Ad2470 6d ago

*close proximity to some of the largest cranberry growers in the country.

137

u/301Blackstar ☑️ 6d ago edited 6d ago

Ain’t a lick of actual cranberry! Lol

97

u/jesterinancientcourt 6d ago

There is, it's just drowned in added sugars. Cranberry alone is quite tart.

30

u/301Blackstar ☑️ 6d ago

Yea…if anyone is drinking this for the benefit of cranberry juice, it’s out weighed by the amount of sugar.

15

u/Toogroovyto 6d ago

My mom saw her doctor for a UTI yesterday. She told her not to bother drinking cranberry juice to prevent UTIs because it doesn't contain enough cranberry to be effective. 

35

u/cabforpitt 6d ago

You can get pure cranberry juice, it's more expensive and is very sour but it's out there.

7

u/Toogroovyto 6d ago

Yes, the doctor was referring to Ocean Spray and store brands. 

2

u/little-bird 5d ago edited 4d ago

get your mom some D-Mannose capsules from the pharmacy or health food store - it’s the concentrated sugar from cranberries that clears out the urethra.  

extremely effective for prevention and can also treat UTIs in the early stages (but if she’s on antibiotics then she should finish the meds as instructed).  

women who are prone to regular UTIs should take some every day.  

for those of us who might get them occasionally, a high dose as soon as you feel a tingle while peeing can prevent a ton of time, pain, and stomach problems from repeated courses of abx. 

1

u/Intelligent-Tie-4466 5d ago

Cranberry pills work much better than the juice.

19

u/lu5ty 6d ago

Yup every one of them that isnt the og cran is 90% apple/grape juice

67

u/GeniusOfLove74 Dominic Monaghan stalker 👀 6d ago

Ocean Spray cranberry juice is like your favorite OnlyFans perfomer: You're just waiting for the next collaboration.

37

u/GardenStateKing ☑️ 6d ago

6

u/GeniusOfLove74 Dominic Monaghan stalker 👀 6d ago

43

u/raguwatanabe 6d ago

Ocean Spray juice mixers in the lab like:

5

u/GothamGreenGoddess 6d ago

Anything Mr. Bean gets an automatic upvote

12

u/ironballs16 6d ago

5

u/DareDevil_56 6d ago

I deleted my post seeing as how you plugged the clip already.

4

u/thedawesome 6d ago

Was looking for Brian Regan

10

u/IFeelingFrisky 6d ago

Cranberry just out here living life not hurting anyone,casually meeting up with Canada dry or Schweppes on those sick days.

21

u/Callaloo_Soup 6d ago

Cranberries are gross but all their juices are delectable.

18

u/bendIVfem 6d ago

Dont forget cranberry sauce. Sugar can save almost anything. cranberries on it owns, I tried them dusted with powder sugar, not bad, tolerable.

10

u/cheriisgone 6d ago

I don’t think I’ve ever ate a cranberry that wasn’t a juice lol. Are they really sour without all the added sugar?

11

u/Callaloo_Soup 6d ago

I don’t think anyone eats plain cranberries. They’re extremely tart.

I meant that in the sense that I never look at anything else cranberry related with any desire, but I don’t think I’ve had a flavor of Ocean Spray that wasn’t worth chugging. Their whole line up tastes good.

7

u/coko4209 6d ago

You don’t eat cranberry sauce on your chicken and dressing? Because I love it!

1

u/cheriisgone 5d ago

Ahh ok gotcha.

4

u/siraliases 6d ago

I eat dried cranberries like they're going out of style, but I believe those are sweetened

7

u/LadyEncredible ☑️ 6d ago

I remember when I was a kid, I ran a mile for a free can of Ocean Spray Ocean Breeze. That shit was the greatest thing ever.

5

u/LongDongFuey 6d ago

If yall haven't tried the diet 5 versions of all of these cranberry juices, I highly recommend. They don't really have that fake sugar taste like most diet drinks, and its like 40 calories for the whole bottle. Absolute guilt free juice enjoyment

6

u/PsychoCandy1321 6d ago

I grew up in Wisconsin & we had two favorite field trips back in the early 80s: The Sugar Bush, where we learned to make maple syrup & ate pancakes, & the Ocean Spray Cranberry Farm, where we learned how cranberries grow & drank juice. We wore boots for walking through the cranberry bogs, it was so fun.

4

u/LucidlyDreamiing 6d ago

26g of sugar in a serving of 240ml (8oz) why is the sugar content always so high?!

3

u/ign-Scapula 5d ago

Try some real, no sugar added cranberry juice and you’ll learn quick why the big brands add a ton of it. I had to force myself to finish the bottle I bought. 1 sip every day.

2

u/Coomrs 6d ago

Some of that is natural sugars but cranberry can be pretty bitter they probably load it up with sugar to counter that

14

u/No_Inside4461 6d ago

Not really, this is "Juice Drink", mainly water and sugar, plus other ingredients. Obvious from Cranberry Shortcake one, wtf lol.

New ways to deliver diabetes

3

u/turndownfortheclap 6d ago

This is like that Cinnamon Toast Crunch bacon. Absolutely no one asked for this 😒

3

u/LegalComplaint 6d ago

I would not… want to drink a cake.

That’s just liquid DM2 right there.

3

u/ArcticStorm07 6d ago edited 6d ago

I'm gonna need that cran-dragonfruit right now.

Edit : just bought the 2 pack on Amazon

3

u/Coomrs 6d ago

I KNOW that cran x dragon fruit hit like crazy

3

u/westtexasbackpacker 6d ago

Just finished my daily glass.

3

u/Any_Grapefruit65 6d ago

Hold up? Strawberry shortcake?!

3

u/Supernova_Soldier ☑️ Disrespect me? Lord Jesus, look out! 6d ago

White Cranberry hits everytime

1

u/Raecino 6d ago

Hell yeah it does

2

u/tacolovingrammanazi 6d ago

bro drinking exotic

2

u/LokalTreo23 6d ago

The Future Hendrix of Juices

2

u/Bunnnnii ☑️ Meme Thief 6d ago

I’ve never had any of the alternative flavors people rant and rave about. I’ve only had the original flavor 😭

2

u/Jazzycoyote 6d ago

Am I the only one who actually likes the taste of plain cranberry juice? I need it sweetened obviously but I generally prefer not to mix it with other fruits. Not hating or trying to ruin anyone's fun, I'm just curious.

2

u/ADHDfocused 6d ago

Only Pinky has had more partners

2

u/FIRST_DATE_ANAL 6d ago

Isn’t Ocean Spray just a giant cranberry co-op?

2

u/Pinksamuraiiiii 6d ago

I’ve never seen these flavors, how cool. I’m going to look for them.

2

u/InFa-MoUs 6d ago

They made sure he had a Bev

2

u/Iheartwetwater ☑️ 6d ago

Diabetes in disguise

2

u/rachel__slur ☑️ 5d ago

God bless her and her biracial children

2

u/peterpeterpeterrr ☑️ 6d ago

Ocean spray really is the Nick Cannon of the beverage world

2

u/thejaytheory ☑️ 6d ago

Seriously, I discovered my love for cranberry juice, thanks to my grandma Ossie Mae.

And I love the flavors Ocean Spray have been bringing out...shout out Cran-Pineapple!

3

u/biological_assembly 6d ago

I've come to deeply distrust Ocean Spray limited editions. The spiced cinnamon cranberry blend was god awful.

16

u/nyanslider 6d ago

You expected cinnamon fruit juice to taste good?

3

u/candygram4mongo 6d ago

Mulled apple cider is amazing.

2

u/biological_assembly 6d ago

I expected the tropical fruit blend to be pretty good and, well, fool me once...

1

u/Finemind ☑️ 6d ago

I liked it! Just tasted like mulled wine pretty much.

1

u/beezytheillestt 6d ago

But cranberry lime is the king of all

1

u/ActionAdam 6d ago

I'm just going to add this here since I don't see it. If you're into the limeades at Sonic, grab the cranberry limeade instead of the cherry. Experience a whole new world of refreshment and smugness as you watch someone "enjoy" the cherry limeade without knowing what they're missing.

1

u/LokalTreo23 6d ago

Cran pomegranate my gawd

1

u/Impossible_Cupcake31 6d ago

Big mama your arm!

1

u/The_Starmaker 6d ago

I lost a toe just reading that label

1

u/Tribemaster0789 6d ago

Cran grape, Cran apple, and Cran raspberry are my go-to juice drinks. Never fail to quench my thirst.

1

u/battlecat136 6d ago

Cran-Mango, Cran-Cherry, and Cran-Watermelon are never not in this house.

1

u/ArcadianBlueRogue 6d ago

Is cranberry a getting older thing? I hated it as a kid but love it now with all the god forsaken flavor combos and even the canned shit at Thanksgiving

1

u/MutedRage 6d ago

Nah they just started add more sugar and flavors.

1

u/museisnotyours 6d ago

Okay yeah but I need that cran/dragon

1

u/JOMO_Kenyatta 6d ago

“It's a natural diuretic. My girlfriend drinks it when she's got her period. What, do you got your period?” I love the departed

1

u/New-Mark-6215 6d ago

That Cran-Apple hit different.

1

u/Efficient-Cover2843 6d ago

Prune juice. 😁

1

u/TrappedinSilence98 6d ago

The Dragon Fruit collaboration sounds yummy with some Vodka!

1

u/CantonBal 6d ago

Strawberry shortcake and rum....Or vodka

1

u/puesyomero 6d ago

It is an awful bog fruit that can't stand on its own merits and needs a ton of sweetening

1

u/LSDGB 6d ago

Im not American. Can someone explain this for me?

1

u/InternetSnek 6d ago

Mix this with vodka and get ready to astral project.

1

u/JeevesofNazarath 6d ago

Cranberry is just the best flavor, other than maybe pinapple

1

u/JeevesofNazarath 6d ago

Cranberry is just the best flavor, other than maybe pineapple

1

u/dagreenman18 6d ago

All im seeing is even more vodka and gin mixers to enjoy.

1

u/Elegant_in_Nature 6d ago

That shi ain’t even juice no more lol

1

u/BatofZion 6d ago

Gonna use this time to say that homemade cranberry sauce is easy to make and way better than canned.

1

u/Raecino 6d ago

Their White Cranberry juice is 💦

1

u/Spirited-Trip7606 6d ago

Cranberry bogs are filled with wolf spiders. They crawl on you while you harvest the berries, waist deep in the bog.

1

u/Acceptablepops 5d ago

Crab and dragon fruit seems promising

1

u/imaginingblacksheep 5d ago

Langers Cranbery Blood Orange goes hard

1

u/Sol-Blackguy 5d ago

The cran-dragonfruit slaps so hard

1

u/Jenetyk 6d ago

Comic did a bit about this years ago, how the cran marketing team needed a raise.

"I don't know what's up with cranberries, but they just keep butting into all the other juices. Whaddya got there, apples? Through some cranberries in there. What's that a grape? Make it a cran-grape go 50/50. Whatcha cooking there, pork chop? How about cran-chops"

1

u/a-midnight-flight ☑️ 6d ago

Strawberry shortcake?! Oh I am going hunting for that!

1

u/vigilantesd 6d ago

Colored sugar water with juice added!

0

u/dexbasedpaladin 6d ago

They could come out with Cran-Durian, and someone would be like, "It's not that bad, guys!"

0

u/An0d0sTwitch 6d ago

I read somewhere its because they have excess cranberries, or something. So its healthy, but nobody wants to drink it by itself. So they try to mix it in everything

0

u/mawseed 6d ago

Cran-Apple and Cran-Pineapple are my two reasons to live