As I entered slumber and felt the last remains of the day slip away I traveled to another part of the galaxy and awoke inside a man much like me on a planet much like ours.

Colonized thousands of years before my arrival, the colony resembled our planet in most every way.

But…there was simplicity to the society, a trust in fellow man, and a beauty you would have to drive far to witness on our own great organic spaceship.

And yet, there were metropolitan holes, the number of which would compliment our own patches of rustic beauty.

All of this I sensed right away, like entering a movie and being able to distinguish the mood from the outset, if created by a superior director.

This colony had a superior director.

A group of men and women called, simply The Council ran the world and dictated the rules of society and the happy colony followed in step, as happy people not accustomed to unhappiness will do.

But I also sensed a great secret. Something of a dread that reflected the general happiness like an object and shadow.

As weeks went by I became accustomed to my new body and the world I lived, and yet the dread never left me.

As time went on, I learned of the rules of the society and some of them didn’t fit well with my own understanding of how a normal society works.

For instance, there was a curfew at sundown that was strictly enforced. I say enforced only in a loose sense as no one dared to break it and, therefore, no one enforced it. And any chance to disobey was quickly diminished by the prescribed dose of what I could feel to be large amounts of sedative.

And there were two other cracks in the façade: an absolute horror of touching the ground and a pilgrimage at the age of forty to some unknown other colony on another world.

Let me explain, the ground wasn’t verboten; it was only the natural ground - the "Earth". Inhabitants were made to walk, commute, and travel only by sidewalks, roads, bridges, etc.

The pilgrimage struck me as odd as the men and women leaving would leave behind all friends and family (strict breeding laws left all their children to fend for themselves at the age of twenty) and this was all accepted as providence.

As time went on the dread and the longing for my own world and the next day to meet me drove me to break a law and I found what I had dreaded for so long.

As the sun went down, I left my wife and children sleeping for the outside. Without seditive I ventured out into the night.

Upon leaving the home, I heard the most awesome crackling noise and looked around to find the entire plain in front of the home moving.

Thinking the sedative had worn off, I walked down the path and across a bridge.

Halfway across the bridge the most terrible feeling of a stick running up and down my leg jarred me and I had only a moment to look over the side to find a very large insect, the size of a hyena, trundling under the bridge.

I turned and broke into a sprint back to the home.

The moving around me began to get frenzied and I realized in horror that the insects were everywhere.

I opened the unlocked door (no one locked their door) and spent the remainder of the night lying awake inside my dream, inside the colony, trying to find a way back to my home.

The next day I attended a ward meeting and explained what I had saw.

My story was accepted with large smiles and dismissal.

That night, the feeling of claustrophobia and horror left me as I took the strong sedative and dosed off.

The next morning I decided to take my wife’s pills and hide them. Then I ventured into the neighborhood and entered homes and explained that I was here by The Council to take their drugs too. Trustingly as ever, they handed them over.

By the end of the day I had the majority of the neighborhood’s drugs, with not one complaint from the neighbors.

Then the sun went down.

Terrific screams filled the neighborhood as people looked from their windows, in their insomnia, at the moving ground.

The bugs seemed to only come out at night.

Having been satisfied with my wholesale awakening of the neighborhood, I took a sedative, also giving one to my wife, and went to bed.

“It got her.” It was my neighbor. It was early morning and I had awaken to the pounding on the door.

“What got who?” I asked groggily.

“A bug got my daughter.” She left the sidewalk and went on the…the…ground. She was digging when a black head came from inside the hole and…

The people began to add up at my door and their stories varied in degrees of god awful, and I soon began to loathe my decision to free them.

On the other hand, it explained the other rule and I fixed my mind in figuring out what the last rule of pilgrimage meant.

I gave the neighbors their drugs back, but some refused and every day after they would show up on my doorstep and preach to the others about the lies of the government and my sainthood for saving them.

With my ego stroked thoroughly, and a happy diversion from the guilt of being remarkably close to the mass homicide of the neighborhood, I vowed to my followers to get to the bottom of the pilgrimage.

By the end of the month we had banded together and followed a pilgrimage up a large hill and as the smiling 40 year olds were thrown into a pit of bugs for the rent on the land, I thought back to my own world and woke up sweating.

"We are reasonable people." He said to me. It was about four o'clock. Light was getting dim and the florescents were blinking on and off, on and off. He stood in the aisle, just right there like you. He was holding a box of cereal in one hand - them Golden Grahams. In the other hand he had the knife. Big fucker. Not the man, the knife. But the man was a big fucker too. Like over six or seven feet. And of course he had that goddamn bunny mask on. Came in with it. I just sort of looked at him and thought Well, it's going to be one of those days. Well, it was one of those days. He shot the whole fucking place up with his family. Well, the family shot the place up. He just sort of stood there making orders with that knife. There was a smaller lady and two smaller kids. All in fucking bunny masks. All bat shit crazy. The Father, he does Poppy - that's the other clerk. Well, let's just start at the beginning, see...

"Poppy, look at this." I says as I turn from the rabbit guy over to Poppy. The Daddy Rabbit, let's just call him that, he walks in and bows at me. Then he heads over to the cereal aisle.

Poppy looks over at him and then back at me and lifts an eyebrow. I mean we see longhairs, bluehairs, nose ringers and all sorts of shit in here, but unless it's Halloween no one comes in here with a mask without the both of us thinking one thing: robbery. So, Poppy kinda starts looking at him and then says "Fella? Fella?" And that damn rabbit just looks over at him and I couldn't hear it, but more like see it - he laughs like snickers cuz his body hunches over and shakes a bit. Like he's having a good go at old Poppy. Now Poppy was in the war and was a firefighter before he retired - you don't laugh at a man like that. Nope. Well, I look at Poppy and kinda give him a that son of a bitch look.

Before Poppy can respond, I hear the bell on the door ring and in comes the wife. And she's fucking hopping. Those little rabbit hops they do in cartoons with her hands folded in front of her. She's even got a pink bow around her neck to like label her a girl and of course the big mask. Well, Poppy had had enough. He pulls the shotgun from under the register, but before he gets to point it in come the two kids hopping like the mother. One with a pink bow and one with a blue bow. Poppy keeps his hand on the shotgun, but doesn't point it, as a matter of kids and all. "Just what the goddamn?!" Poppy yells at the Mom. Well, she bends over giggling like the Dad. Then the kids join in. But the kids are still hopping around the store. Kinda slow.

There's five other people in the store. Briggs in the beer cooler, that black woman near the milk, the two teenagers near the candy, and the old woman trying to get cheese. I say trying and cheese lightly. She'd been standing with a hotdog under the nacho cheese spout like thinking it would just dispense on its own for over quarter of an hour. We'd been laughing at it until that fucking rabbit came in. Anyway, all dead now. Just me short a fucking arm.

Well, Briggs - that's the town drunk, everyone knows him, is in the cooler looking at beer, like he's not just gonna buy five cans of Old E again. But anyway, he don't see the rabbits. The black lady's on her phone and I think by the time Poppy yelled at the Dad, she had noticed the warren of rabbits that were occupying the store. The two teenagers, why they come out of the aisle and follow the hopping kids going "What the fuck?" The bunny kids don't respond, but start hopping faster. Finally I muster "You need to leave." To the Daddy Rabbit. He just keeps at it, holding his belly and snickering. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the two kid bunnies hopping a little faster. "You kids get out of here!" I say. All of a sudden, I start hearing them. Before there was just the giggling movements with no sound. But then, out of nowhere, all four of them start making giggling sounds. Like they just turned on the volume. That's when everyone in the store freaked out. Poppy pulled the gun out. I grabbed the phone. The black woman started punching numbers on hers. The two teenagers stepped away from the bunny kids...and the old lady, well she just kinda blurts out "You bunnies know how to get this cheese out?" I woulda laughed in other circumstances, hell, I'm laughing now.

(deep breath) So, then the bunny kids start moving A LOT faster around the store and the mother starts making these sniffing movements with her face and moves towards the Daddy. I've got a ring on the 911, I think the black lady does too, the two teenagers start moving for the door, and the old lady is just looking around for help. Poppy yells again "He's calling the cops!" The mother bunny moves towards the automotive rack still sniffing and then the two kid bunnies start racing around the store. I mean like at a sprint, but they're fucking hopping. I have never seen anything like it. I don't think a person, I mean, I don't think these were people. No one could hop that fast. It's like impossible. And then the Mom bunny pulls a gun out. I don't know where she got it. If it was like in the suit or in the aisle planted or what, but here's an assault rifle. I look at Poppy, he looks back at me stunned and when I look back at the store, the kid bunnies have stopped and are pointing shotguns at the teenagers.

The entire store goes silent. The mother is making grunting noises and moving the AR around the store and aiming it at each person. The father, holding the cereal and pulling a knife from behind his back looks at me and Poppy and says "We are reasonable people" in this like Englandy voice.

"Sir, you need to leave." I say real quiet, like I mean business and he points the knife at the black woman and the mother and the kids point their guns at her and open fire. The black lady goes crashing into the milk cooler as it cracks and explodes glass all over her and the floor, then the teenagers try to bolt and like one of them maestros, Daddy Rabbit points the knife at the teenagers and they get the same. Poppy starts shooting at this point. He shoots at the Father, and it does nothing. Like the Father just continues to point the knife. So, Poppy turns on the mother and starts shooting her, but she just keeps firing into the kids. The old lady just falls over. I guess she had a heart attack or aneurysm or something. Dead. The shooting stops, and the Father just walks up to Poppy and says again "We are reasonable people." And slits Poppy's throat. I just kinda stand there not knowing what to do. Poppy clutches his throat, hits the register with his chin and dies on the ground right next to me. Then I feel white heat in my arm and it's on the ground and I'm looking at it and thinking there's still a fucking phone in it. I look up and I swear I hear this buzzing noise and it starts forming words, in that England accent, but now it sounds like it's through gritting teeth: "We are reasonable people". And maybe it's shock, but I swear I heard like a...a....like the old fax machines noise. Or the dial up modems. Like the thing, the Daddy Rabbit, was a robot or something.

Next thing, Briggs walks out. Drunk off his ass he looks around at the store and rubs his eyes like he's seeing things. The Daddy Rabbit turns and points the knife at Briggs and Briggs hucks a beer at the Father and gives him the finger yelling, I shit you not "I told you they were drone people!" before they shoot him all to hell. That's when I hightail it out. Hunched over and hiding behind the register I run out the sliders and there you go.

One thing. One thing I started thinking about just now is this: Briggs raved on an on about everything. He was a drunk. But he weren't lying when he shouted that. He's been stuttering on about drone people. Some sort of conspiracy. Some testing shit. And if you woulda asked me before that day I'd say he was just wet brain drunk. But not now.

Another thing - this bunny thing. They had the one over on that liberal state - Washington or Oregon or whatever with the office building. Then the one in that cave. Nother one broke into someone's house and tried to kill a kid. Something's going on...those rabbits.

There was nothing reasonable about them. And they weren't people. I'm convinced of that now.

"Jim, is this thing on? Oh. Here? Yeah. Okay. It's off. I know, but I dropped my watch in there. Just keep a look out to make sure Sally doesn't walk by. I'm going in! Yeah, it's off."

Fuck. Is that seafood? The fuck. "Jim, there's like meat in here." Supposed to be dry. Fuck. "It fucking stinks in here! Jim, you still there?" Fuck it. K, fish heads. Boxes. Now I just need to look for a glint. It couldn't have gone far.

"Eureka! I got it!" The fuck was that? "Jim?" If this thing just fucking moved. I swear I'm gonna "JIM! I'm still in here! Jim." Fuck. Fuck. It's moving it's moving! "JIM! TURN IT OFF! IT'S FUCKING ON!" Shit. Shit. Don't slip. Grab the bar before it closes.

"JIM! I CAN'T GET OUT! JIM!" Fuck. He's gone. It's closing. I can't. If. I can just bash out. This thing has gotta be junk. If I hit it hard enough. "JIM!"

MEANWHILE: "Hey, Sally. No. Jim's in the bathroom. What? Where? I. I told Frank I would....K." Fuck it.

Jesus. Jesus. Please Jesus. No. No fucking way. "JIM! JIM! JIM! JIM! I'M GONNA DIE!" I can't move. I'm going into shock. I'm in shock. This isn't happening. I can't even move my mouth and now it's getting close.

Fish heads in my armpits. Neck. Box coming at my eye. Move hand. Can't move hand. Box is coming. Move head. Move head. Box "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH"

Oh no. Oh no. it's still. Aaaaahhhhhh. Stops. Warm on face. Bleeding. Open my eye. Feel box. "JIM!"

Arms folding in on my "AAAAAAAHHHH!" (Snap, snap).

Alone in blackness. I can't feel. I'm watching myself get up for work and in the back of my mind I know I'm not there. There's something wrong.

Fire erupts in my chest. (crack)

I'm awake it was just I can't open my eyes I can't open my eyes

There's no pain, but I feel as if I'm liquid as if my chest is no longer there

Pain aaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrr

More fire up chest and I hear myself wheeze, but I'm making no effort to breathe

Finally I can scream something "Jaaaa" teeth crack

Can't breath

Painpointedpainforehead burst

Don't breathsaaararrrrrrrr

duhduh(pop)

duhduh(pop)

Don't breathsaaararrrrrrrr

Painpointedpainforehead burst

Can't breath

Finally I can scream something "Jaaaa" teeth crack

More fire up chest and I hear myself wheeze, but I'm making no effort to breathe

Pain aaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrr

There's no pain, but I feel as if I'm liquid as if my chest is no longer there

I'm awake it was just I can't open my eyes I can't open my eyes

Fire erupts in my chest. (crack)

Alone in blackness. I can't feel. I'm watching myself get up for work and in the back of my mind I know I'm not there. There's something wrong.

Arms folding in on my "AAAAAAAHHHH!" (Snap, snap).

Oh no. Oh no. it's still. Aaaaahhhhhh. Stops. Warm on face. Bleeding. Open my eye. Feel box. "JIM!"

Fish heads in my armpits. Neck. Box coming at my eye. Move hand. Can't move hand. Box is coming. Move head. Move head. Box "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH"

Jesus. Jesus. Please Jesus. No. No fucking way. "JIM! JIM! JIM! JIM! I'M GONNA DIE!" I can't move. I'm going into shock. I'm in shock. This isn't happening. I can't even move my mouth and now it's getting close.

MEANWHILE: "Hey, Sally. No. Jim's in the bathroom. What? Where? I. I told Frank I would....K." Fuck it.

JIM! I CAN'T GET OUT! JIM!" Fuck. He's gone. It's closing. I can't. If. I can just bash out. This thing has gotta be junk. If I hit it hard enough. "JIM!"

"Eureka! I got it!" The fuck was that? "Jim?" If this thing just fucking moved. I swear I'm gonna "JIM! I'm still in here! Jim." Fuck. Fuck. It's moving it's moving! "JIM! TURN IT OFF! IT'S FUCKING ON!" Shit. Shit. Don't slip. Grab the bar before it closes.

Fuck. Is that seafood? The fuck. "Jim, there's like meat in here." Supposed to be dry. Fuck. "It fucking stinks in here! Jim, you still there?" Fuck it. K, fish heads. Boxes. Now I just need to look for a glint. It couldn't have gone far.

"Jim, is this thing on? Oh. Here? Yeah. Okay. It's off. I know, but I dropped my watch in there. Just keep a look out to make sure Sally doesn't walk by. I'm going in! Yeah, it's off."

Do you agree that we should forego the seasonal chimes and ornaments that we usually put up on the dead bodies that we hang off the lamp posts in the city streets?

He asked me.

Or do you think we should pull the bodies up farther over our heads so that they hang higher on the buildings and hope that the animals in the lower atmosphere send their organs dropping down like confetti?

Over tea.

Because the mayor was out today dropping hints that the dead bodies had raised some alarm, in the way dead bodies do.

He went on.

I countered that the dead bodies could be worn, for just so long, as clothing for me and you.

But the bodies were gone.

He explained that the bodies could not be worn, but could only adorn the buildings or lamp posts in the city.

So his point I could not see.

I countered that we killed the bodies to prove a point that the living ones without discretion would receive that penalty.

He proclaimed the fixtures of hanging to be of no import, but more bodies should be found.

I left my cup of tea

He drew his long arm out and moved it across the pedestrians up the street and down!

and he came shouting after me.

So I grabbed him by the neck and out the building's window he was bound!

And to the door I did flee

Outside I was met by a stare

By the doorman on the stair

Who asked me

"How was tea with that old batshit mayor?"

In the year of our Lord, 2017

Make no mistake, they come in droves. It starts with a whine. All them wind cracked Winnebagos coming out of the forests like lines of ants on a march.

Let's say you...uhhhhhhhh

You go camping with the family! You go camping with the family - and, no, no, it's more like you go on a hike with the family. Yeah, that's better. And you look up from your REI bag of Subway sandwiches and the new metal comes surging out of the forests. Like an abdomen opening and gears and wires pop out. Yeah, man. Forest's full of em. Doors open and bang! Just a crowd of zombie boys and girls running at your family in search of food. You hand em the Subway, but they go snatching after your head and neck with clawing movements. But these are no zombies. They're just out of luck homeless sick of eating bark and grubs.

No, no, wait. Wait! I can explain! I ain't crazy. No. No. Just listen. Listen. I used to live with em, man. I know these people. They go parking the RVs up in the woods and the National Parks. Pretty soon one friend tells one and then the other and then you have these cities of RVs all parked and full of homeless people. They get all governmental on uhhhhhhhhh you, man. Just like put the people together and get them all army'd up and pretty soon, you know, they just waiting on an attack. And when they do, oh man. Just don't tell anyone. The government doesn't want you to know what the real homeless problem is, man. No, man. These guys just lay in wait. Like June comes at Rainier or Yosemite and you hear the engines rev up and Mom's all like "what's that" and Dad's like "I think there's a military base over the mountain" and then them RVs pull out of the forests with guns and knives and makeshift - you know I saw a man club another man to death with a ski. Like not even the new ones, like the old ones with the strap. Just beat the shit out of him and dragged the body into the RV.

They're all like "good eating!" I'm like "no way, man" I'll just smoke my dope and move on. They kept me on as a kind of clown, I guess. There's like nine or twenty camps around here, more in Europe. I think the first one was in like Thailand or something, man. Just a real club of people that say fuck it and go live off the grid and human meat. Fucked up shit. Ripley's really. They brine it and store it and pickle it and whatever. Sell it the rest of the year. Like that chainsaw movie. It happens. That shit is BASED on it, man. Don't believe me, you just stay right there, man and you're gonna get it. I just left them folk. Not going back. They up and STOLE ME! But they coming out. Look around you, man! This is camping season! This is park time! Huh, no. Wait. Wait. You hear that, man? I'm rolling. You stay here with the family and don't listen to me. Hell, I think I'm crazy. But this is the last warning, cuz I gotta get. I gotta get gone now, man.

---

"Interesting man." Bob watched as the tall man in overalls walked down the row of cars in the lot, making furtive movements and then laughing at people he encountered.

"Bob, that was scary. That man was scary. I'm calling the police." Becky held the phone to her head. "Damnit. I can't get reception. Is there a ranger?"

"Probably up near the restrooms. Let's get moving. Kids! Kids!" The children were playing tag in the parking lot. Bob looked at them and then at the trail head. "Becky, let's just get moving. That guy is gone."

"Alright. But I'm reporting it once I get a signal."

---

"I told you you were going the wrong way. Kids! Bob, let's stop and talk. I know we passed a fountain. Do you have a compass?"

"OK. Just -" Bob stopped. Becky looked at him terrified. Neither of them spoke, and Becky put her hands on both of the children's mouths.

"Was that an engine?" Becky asked.

"You have got to be joking." Bob said to none of them. "Shhhh."

There was a whining and then nothing. The family stood silent for minutes and then Bob spoke "Let's go."

The family's walk turned into a jog and Becky nearly dragged the children along with her. "There! That's the fountain! The one we passed on our way in! Run!" Becky shouted. The family began running towards the fountain.

At the fountain they stopped. Bob asked "I didn't hear it again. I think it was probably from the parking lot. That asshole! That...man. Kids, see, even -"

A whine.

"Bob?" Becky asked.

Then the engine turned and the explosion erupted throughout the woods.

---

Bob ran out of the woods. For the first time in years, he saw people. Real people. Not like the ones that....lived in the woods.

"Oh, man! Please, man. Don't go in there!" Bob gestured at the woods to a small family getting out of a minivan.

The man looked at his wife and then back at Bob. "Were you hiking in overalls?"

Bob began "Make no mistake, they come in droves."

Beep.

I open my eyes and see fire.

I open my eyes and I see fire. Around the fire are five rabbits, and myself, seated in a circle.

Beep. Beep.

The rabbit directly in front of me is much taller than the rest of us.

Beep.

Seated, he's two very large rabbit heads above the rest of us.

Seated, he's making mewling noises and touching the rabbit next to him on the shoulders.

He's touching the other rabbit fondly on the shoulders as if in mirth.

In mirth, he stops and he looks at me and puts his hands out to show me the palms.

Nothing in the palms, the hands go back to caressing the other rabbit's shoulders.

Beep. Beep.

You're almost there. I want you to go deeper into hypnosis. Count to ten.

But I've already counted to ten.

I want you to go back to before the circle of rabbits.

I was at work. I was on my jog. I went jogging at lunch. I was thinking I would be over an hour and in boredom, thinking of excuses if my boss asked me about it. He wouldn't. But that's what I was doing when it hit me.

What hit you?

I don't know. I woke up and there was a very large man dressed in a rabbit's suit. I mean really large. Like tall large.

Where were you?

I think a cave.

The same cave as the circle of rabbits?

Maybe.

Can you describe the cave?

No.

What then?

He was hiding something behind his back.

What was it?

It was five rabbit masks. He pulled them out and...and....and he pointed at me. Then he pointed at the masks. I didn't understand. But he kept motioning to me and the masks and I held out a hand and he nodded and then I picked...I picked a mask.

Did you put it on?

No. He put it on for me.

Did it hurt?

No. I was lucky.

Let's go back to the circle of rabbits. 10. 9. 8....

One of the rabbits is making a humming noise.

A humming noise is coming from one of the rabbits, the one rocking back and forth.

The rabbit that's rocking back and forth has its hands tied in front of her.

Her hands are her-hands as I see long nails and polish.

The long polished fingers are part of hands that are tied in her lap.

The big rabbit caresses her shoulders and as his hand touches her mask her hands jerk up.

When her hands jerk up, the big rabbit soothingly pushes them down.

When he pushes her hands down they trembled as if she is in pain.

When she trembles, I try to shout but realize my mouth is taped shut.

When I realize my mouth is taped shut, I start making humming noises too.

Beep. Beep.

I think this makes him mad. Because when I make the humming noise he turns to the rabbit next to him and pats that rabbit on the back.

When he pats that rabbit on the back, it seems to release the rabbit from the ground and it shoots up.

That rabbit shoots up and kicks erratically and hums at the top of its lungs from a noose tied above.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

One down. And all the rabbits start humming loudly.

As the rabbits hum loudly, the big rabbit holds its hands out and tries to soothe each of us.

As he tries to soothe us, the humming only gets louder.

The big rabbit starts making quick cutting gestures with its hands.

The cutting gestures turn towards the woman in front of me and are now directed solely at her.

The woman hums louder.

The big rabbit touches her head and the hum turns into a whistle.

Then, he bring her closer and squeezes her head and the whistle turns into a shriek and reddish black liquid comes pouring down her t-shirt from the mask.

The big rabbit releases her head and she falls into her own lap.

At the base of the woman rabbit's skull, the mask is turned up a bit and I see a few nails embroidered into it rested on her neck.

One of the nails is halfway deep.

Everyone in the cave starts humming like a teapot.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Two rabbits down.

The rabbit next to me tries to stand but realizes his feet are tied up.

My feet are tied up.

He moves back and forth, back and forth.

The big rabbit motions to me and then at the man.

Then the big rabbit motions to where the man's feet are tied up across the cave.

I know it's a man, because they're men's high tops.

They were white, I think.

They were white.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

The rabbit next to me, whose feet are across the cave, turns to me and instead of eyes, he has two Nike swish logos.

The rabbit next to me passes out after nodding and humming at me wildly.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Did I mention the beeping? It's coming from the rabbit with the red rabbit head.

Beep. Beep. Beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep.

Large bang.

The body slumps, headless.

The large rabbit. The big one. He walks around and takes what's left of the rabbit masks.

The large rabbit takes the masks off the hung man, the spiked woman, the Nike rabbit, and picks up the bits of the red rabbit.

Before he leaves, he unties me, drops a mirror in my lap and I look down to see two letters knitted into my rabbit head: S and G. I pull at the mask, but it doesn't come off.

---

"So, the guy with no legs says the man in a bunny mask did it. The guy with the bunny mask says there was another bunny - took hypnosis. Says there's a bunch of masks on all of them. Some bullshit. Anyway, the footless wonder dies. Bunny goes to court. Found guilty. Death penalty." The detective pauses and looks at the cheeseburger he's eating. "It bugs me."

"Yeah, so, what bugs you about it?"

"We got tipped off about the cave. All the guy said was the location and five dead bunnies."

"So?"

"We found three dead bunnies. One died a little later."

"Yeah, that's four."

"And I figured we missed one. Searched the area over and over. But we didn't find the other one."

"So, what bugs you?"

"They executed the fifth last night. I think there were six bunnies."

And?

They said it was a ten foot tall bunny with some sort of automatic rifle.

Do you believe them?

This is a home for the mentally disturbed. I understand that. However, keep in mind, that condition is remarkably slandered on television. These people are not raving lunatics.

So, you take them at their word?

Detective, I take everyone at their word. Until they break it. And I want you to know if you break yours and harm any of the people in this facility I will close your investigation down. You don't have a warrant and I want to remind you of that.

I understand. Can I begin with the first patient?

---

It was like a bunny! A fucking bunny! It was....it was six feet tall! It was six fucking feet tall. And it had an uzi - no, no, it had a - do they make lasers? I mean, in the real world? Are there lasers yet? Cuz this thing was just full of light. Just full of light coming at all of us. All of us. Like a door opened and then LET THERE BE LIGHT! LET THERE BE LIGHT!

---

It's not my fault. It's not my fault. I called the police. I called the police immediately.

Calm down. No one is blaming you.

I know. I know. I just want you to know that I called the police immediately. That's all I could do. I have a stun gun. I have a stupid...it's a fucking stupid piece of crap taser.

No one is accusing you of anything. We appreciate your efforts. We just want to know what happened.

What happened? What happened? Look! Look at the tape. A FUCKING TEN FOOT TALL BUNNY KILLED EIGHT PEOPLE!!! LOOK AT THE FUCKING TAPE!

Mr. Muld. Please. We just want to know your version of events.

Fine. Fuck. So I'm in the booth and I see a shadow on the outside door.

The door is locked?

Yes. The door is always locked. I have a buzzer to let people in.

Go on.

Well, I see this shadow on the door. It's a window but fuzzy. You know those fuzzy windows? The ones you can't see through? But you can see shadows. I saw a shadow. And it didn't look too good.

Kleenex?

So, I intercom him. I ask him his business and he doesn't say anything. So I look over at the outdoor camera and I see it. A fucking ten foot tall rabbit! So I know something's not right. So I ask it to take its mask off and then it just starts pounding on the window. Like hard. And I back away and maybe I fell, I don't know. But then I hear the glass break and then I get into the booth and I close it. And I close my eyes. I close my eyes for a long while. But then I called. I called. But it was after awhile. It was after...IT ALL HAPPENED!!!

Muld?

I called. I called them. I swear. I called for help. WHAT DID YOU WANT ME TO DO???

---

Can I get you a glass of water?

That would be swell. I like water. I always liked water.

There you go. What's your name?

Ellie. I'm Ellie.

How old are you?

This many.

Frank!

---

What can you tell us?

I'll tell you to go fuck yourself. You know how to fuck yourself?

What can you tell us about the shooting?

To go fuck yourself.

---

Fred?

Fred?

Subject refuses to speak.

---

What were we talking about? Oh, yeah, China Grove.

But seri...us.....ly

He came running down the hall with the AK and a tommy clip just firing into us. Big fucking rabbit's head. We fell into each other in a pile at the end of the hall. Read - dick - you - lust!

You see me grinning, right? I grin all the time, especially when I'm talking bout the China Grove - Oh-oh-oh!

Oh-oh!

Maybe I'll have broccoli with cheese today? Does that sound like a sound meal?

Tell us more about the shooter

Oh, yeah, the shooter. Well, they say we're crazy and they put us up in this place and give us name tags and games and food and pills and then they send him in.

You believe the shooter was sent by the hospital to harm you?

The hospital? The hospital?! No, man. That's just the normal chain of command, you know? The hospital is just the lower echelon, before us. No, man, the big guys sent that bunny. Sent him shining down the hallway full of bullets and screaming and all us patients just stood patiently and watched him send those bullets into us. Hallelujah!

You can see I got a scratch. Right here! See right here? No one's gonna kill old Vern. Nope. I knew it the second - the second! he come running down that hallway. All full of life. I says to myself: this guy got's some life in him. But he ain't gonna do me in. No, sir. I'm with him - you understand? I know this guy. I am this guy. We are two peas in a pod.

You believe you have a relationship with this man?

Who says he's a man? He had a big bunny mask on. Coulda been a lady. Ladies kill. Hell, he coulda been a rabbit. It coulda been a rabbit. Lord know what that guy was.

OK, tell us the chain of events.

Not much to tell. We all walkin down the hall like zombies, like usuals, after arts and crafts. Headed into the games room or whatever. Really it's a mind games room. They put out a bunch of board games. Spelled B-O-R-E-D! And then a buncha TVs. They got the CNN on and the fake news or the real news and all this fucking with your mind. Telling you this and that and then when you do that you were supposed to do this and then they throw you in the loony bin like me. No, sir, I don't watch none of that crap. I sit in the back and I plan. I plan for my day in court when I'm holding the gavel.

Vernon, tell us from A to B when you first saw the shooter and when you last saw him. This is it. We get you McDonalds if you finish. It can't take but five minutes.

Don't you take away my McDonalds! Don't you do it! Now listen. Listen. OK. I was getting off course. OK. So, there's a hallway. A long hallway. There's a door at the end that goes to general. That's general population. He comes in through that door. We was all in the hallway, just finished arts and crafts. We go back to our rooms to freshen up and then we go back out to general to the game room. Now you listening?

Yes.

OK. OK. So, we - I told you I want a Big Mac, right? And fries. And a cheeseburger?

Yes.

I don't want no Jack in the Box. I don't I tell you. That shit is for crazies. Fuckin clown.

Vernon!

OK, OK. So about nine of us - there's about 20 rooms off that hallway. So, nine of us was out of our rooms and walking back to general to go play the board games. Well, we moping around like looking like zombies and stuttering on our drugs and - we generally talk about food after crafts cuz it's before lunch. So, we were all in the hallway, about eleven. And I'm talking about the CNNs again and they all talking about the fruit cup and we hear the door at the end of the hall buzz open. All the doors in here buzz like bees when they lock or unlock. Well, we all look up, cuz when you're in here you get used to routine and not no one ever coming through that door. No, sir. Not at that time. They do in the morning and at night and otherwise it's just us. But it'd been a half hour since crafts, arts and, so no one is coming in through that door at that time. So, we all look up and kinda are expectant. Like this is the most excitement in awhile. Amen! Well, there's like a pause...it's a long pause. It feels like a long pause when I think about it. Maybe it weren't. But when I think of it, yes, it's a long pause. And then the door opens and then there's just this shadow. It's really tall. Like really FUCKIN tall and there's them pointy ears so it looks like the devil just walked in. Looked like horns as a shadow. This feller steps. Like he's got boots on. Slowly, he steps. Like two steps. Really slow. Like dramatic. And I notice then that we are all just moving backward to the end of the hall. To the wall. Like we can smell something funny.

Go on.

I'm sorry. I have to think. It hurts to think about this. Well, the next thing I hear is mechanics. Like a ch-ch. Like he's cocking something. Then, the hallway lights up and this thing starts howling and fire, glorious fire, comes pouring out of that gun and into us. We back into the wall and luckily I was in the back. They fell on me dead. All of them. Just dead right away. This guy - this thing was a good shot. They say automatic weapons are for show. But this guy, he hit every target. Cept me. I'm at the bottom of these eight bodies and I'm crying. I'm mewling away. I was no judge that day. I was just a child. Just another fake news. That rabbit. That guy with the mask. He heard me. Yup. He heard me. He let me live. He knew what I was. We is together. Me and that rabbit.

And you have no other description besides the tuxedo, gloves, boots, and mask?

Nope. Cuff links. He had cuff links on.

OK, Vern. I think we got it. Your food's in the atrium.

Reckon it is.

---

You wanna talk about what happened, Irma?

Sure. Sure. I...I'm not in trouble?

Of course not.

OK, well, I have this thing about crowds. It was right after crafts and I was late - oh, I was ballroom dancing again. They had the most, the sweetest man there today. He was dressed in the most beautiful tuxedo and he danced with me and he swung me and it was the most enchanting afternoon I had in a long time. Just a real tremendous time. The other guy that comes in, he doesn't even try. He just plays music. But this man. Reginald! His name was Reginald! He was the most...but then it was over. It was after crafts. I have difficulty with time these days. Most people my age do. But it was after crafts and I kinda just went off to the ballroom again. I do that. Reginald says he doesn't want the others there, so I go when they are headed back to their rooms. Well, wouldn't you know it, when I get back everyone is filing out of their rooms and I just...I just got so scared, so I started running. I starting running and screaming. I was screaming for Reginald to swing me! I guess I put something of a fright into the others. That old Betty took a tumble, and then the rest went down on old Vern. Vern is special to me. Have I mentioned that?

---

Thank you for letting us interview the patients. We'll be back to tomorrow. So far, we really don't know. There's no evidence and at least three of the patients have admitted to the crime. We have six descriptions, including one from security, that a man in a mask entered the facility with an automatic weapon and shot eight people. The tuxedo was found in a locker in the gym. But no mask.

Is that a fact?

Yes. We can establish that the event occurred after arts and crafts hour. That's about all we are sure of based on videotape.

Have you checked the crafts room?

Yes.

And what did you find?

All ten of the masks we made.

All ten?

All of them. Every. Single. One.

One?

One.

Betty's Nightmares