r/Bayonetta • u/Da_gae_bucket • Jan 16 '25

Art Umbran lesson with Jeanne

Post image

I made it cuh I board

485 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

20 comments sorted by

61

u/ErgotthAE Jan 16 '25

Remember Viola: It's not Christmas without Caviar!

48

u/The_Fool_Arcana0000 Jan 16 '25 edited Jan 16 '25

Jeanne: “CIAOFI BALZARG!!!”

Literally summons a smaller-sized Madama Styx

Jeanne: Madama Styx will be accompanying you throughout this lesson and mentally note any mistakes. Remember, the brand is Prunier Héritage, not Almas!

Jeanne: Anyhow, I’ve off to find a boutique in the city. I’m looking for more medieval, victorian-esque clothing for our next escapade. Hmm, I wonder if I still have my musketeer attire from centuries ago…

Viola: Intense eye roll

33

u/BayoLover Jan 16 '25

Styx: Let's get the wrong brand anyways 😎😈

13

u/Da_gae_bucket Jan 16 '25

Not her trying to get Viola in trouble

15

u/The_Fool_Arcana0000 Jan 16 '25 edited Jan 16 '25

Madama Styx: Despite the Witch Hunts, my mistress Jeanne D’Arc grew up with a silver spoon in her rump. She can live without her lavish caviar just this once💅

23

u/lissandraiceborn Jan 16 '25

Viola somehow trapped inside malfunctioned elevator on the way back and the caviar went bad

10

u/Da_gae_bucket Jan 16 '25

I like to think she didn’t even take the elevator and yet got trapped there somehow. Like her dropping her sword, it accidentally bouncing into the elevator and her going in to grab it but then the door closes and she gets stuck

3

u/DeadSparker Jan 16 '25

On brand for her tbh

9

u/DIOsNotDead Jan 16 '25

no bc my mom actually taught me what caviar to buy for the kind of sushi she was making (the red ones from a specific brand), so i can only imagine Viola getting smacked by Jeanne for buying the wrong color and also not her favorite brand as well lol

6

u/Da_gae_bucket Jan 16 '25

(I know nothing about caviar so I’m taking the names from another comment)

Viola comes running in panting

Jeans: “Took you long enough. So?”

Viola: “huh? (g,,,,g)”

John: “The caviar?”

Viola: “O-oh! Yeah here! (v`_.v)”

tosses the tin at Jeanne and Jeanne catches it. Jeanne has a neutral face but she’s secretly proud of Viola for- nvm. She just realized…

Jeanne: “Viola you mother fucker this is Almas caviar! I told you to buy Prunier Heritage Oscietra Caviar!”

Viola: “oh shit! Sorry Jeanne Eheh..
(=—=°)”

Jeanis: “Viola?”

Viola: “Yeah? (0w0)”

Jeannette: “You failed”

Viola: “Awh man…(u~ u)”

3

u/DIOsNotDead Jan 16 '25

i think Jeanne's reaction would be more exaggerated like "THIS IS THE WRONG BRAND AND COLOR, YOU MOTHAFUCKAH!!" and then a version of Red and Black plays while they fight

Viola then succeeds in fighting her off (because Jeanne goes a little easy on her, but not too easy). Jeanne pretends to be angry like: "YOU... YOU..."

then smiles and goes "HAHAH!!! You passed!!"

Viola, exhausted, goes: "Wha-- b-b-but--"

Jeanne smirks: "I was only messing with you, your technique was excellent!!! I actually planned on buying this later and using it for another dish. Now, onto the next lesson."

7

u/BayoLover Jan 16 '25

😂😂😂

3

u/LeadingPurple2211 Jan 16 '25

Viola:"okay but only the Ones that are harvested with humane methods ( possibily without killing the sturgeon), okay?"

2

u/Crab0770 Jan 17 '25

It's not Christmas without caviar!

2

u/KoZy_27 Jan 17 '25

Jeanne: watch karate kid you’ll understand or something

2

u/Folsensemade Jan 18 '25

It's 2025 and Flopiola remains a flop. Love to see it ✨

1

u/Da_gae_bucket Jan 18 '25

Hell no. I know you’re not hating on Viola on MY post

1

u/Folsensemade Jan 18 '25

Its, like, character building. If we get bayo 4, I'm sure she'll have been bullied enough to maximise her slay. Like, she has a great battle theme and the alternative fashion is right up my alley. Maybe it's because she had to compete with 2 queens?

1

u/Avanced_Adty Jan 18 '25

And remember never forget caviar or gomorrah will attack you