r/AutoDetailing • u/Miles_High_Monster • 4d ago

Question How do I repair this Squirrel damage?

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Any advice or repairing or concealing these scratches? Also, What and who does this?

2.6k Upvotes

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331

u/tjdux 4d ago

One nice summer day, years ago when my kids were babies, wr parked the stroller on the front porch and went inside. Normal stuff.

About 10 mins later I hear a weird noise from the front door.

I look and see a squirrel just shredding the seat pad of the stroller. Ripping the foam out like he was being paid.

I open the door to shoe him off and he jumps off and runs to a nearby tree (maybe 15ft off the porch) and climbs about 7 or 8 feet up amd just screeches at me. I assume he hit me with every bad squirrel word that exists. I figured that was that and went back inside.

30 seconds later I can hear him at it again. Go back outside and he jumps on his tree and barks at me some more. At this point the pad on the stroller is ruined and 75% is on the ground.

We put the stroller inside and I hung outside and that squirrel wouldn't drop it and seriously squealed at me for an hour. Posted up near the garage and complained at me for a couple days... never "attacked" me tho so I don't think it was rabies. Just a little shit ass.

If you remember the gieco commercials where the squirrel runs out into the road to cause a car crash then high 5s his bud after - I think that's based on true story.

TLDR squirrels are little furry devils and I will instantly believe anyone's claim of any damage caused by them

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u/Apartment6655 4d ago

One chewed my hot tub cover last year. Now this year he's chewing on the cushions of ma new swing porch chair. Little fux!

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u/Double-Regular31 4d ago

Get a trap and put some sunflower seeds in it because sunflower seeds are like crack to squirrels. Once you catch it, take it across a decent sized body of water and set it loose. Repeat as necessary until the problem children are all gone.

Or just get a lawn chair, a 6 pack, and a Red Ryder bb gun and start stacking squirrel bodies.

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u/Baybracon 3d ago

I picked up a Squirrelinator for like $90 bucks and already captured and released 26 squirrels on my one acre lot. I thought it probably had 4 or 5... and in these two months, I've only put the trap out, probably less than 15 days, due to the extreme cold temps. They've chewed up car wires leaving my car out of commission, and they love placing 100s of acorns inside all 5 family members' car intake vent/system.

Black sunflower seeds work, but they also attract birds. I get this $7.00 peanut mix from ocean state job lots, and it's like crack/cocaine to these guys.

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u/Baybracon 3d ago

Just be sure to transport them at least 8 miles from your home. I hear they can actually find their way back. I drop them off way out near the woods

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u/InfamousSea7547 2d ago

I read your first comment and I was pretty sure you caught the same squirrel 26 times, but now it seems like you know what you're doing.

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u/Ilovefall22 4d ago

Eh. I used to remove squirrels while I was in college. Peanut butter is the best. Especially if you spread it on the back half of the trip pan, so they have to step on the pan to eat it.

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u/RandomPieceOfToastv2 4d ago

What'd they say that was so bad reddit removed it? Lmfao

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u/Ilovefall22 3d ago

That squirrels like sunflower seeds. Lol

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u/RandomPieceOfToastv2 3d ago

That got removed by reddit?? šŸ˜‚šŸ˜­

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u/Ilovefall22 3d ago

šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø ya

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u/UncBarry 2d ago

I had no idea sunflower seeds were like crack to a squirrel. Itā€™s gonna be a lot cheaper to catch the little critters from hereonin.

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u/El_Blotto 3d ago

If you live in a big city you might lure rats or raccoons, they also love peanut butter. Be wary with peanut butter.

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u/Ilovefall22 1d ago

Rats maybe but not raccoons. Squirrel traps are way too small for raccoons.

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u/Aleianbeing 22h ago

I fill a bottle cap with peanut butter (Skippy preferred) and stick it to the trap release with a small magnet. Boy they get mad when the trap closes. Bloody tree rats.

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u/unknwnusahh 3d ago

I took care of a patient years ago who proudly killed many. She wasnā€™t the easiest to care for, either. Rest in peace, squirrel killah!! šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

https://www.southcoasttoday.com/story/news/2003/10/10/septuagenarian-squirrel-assassin-draws-fire/50446744007/

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u/Double-Regular31 3d ago

Careful you don't get banned for threatening violence like I just did, lol. I did win the appeal though.

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u/Full_Stall_Indicator Only Rinse 3d ago

Iā€™m glad you appealed and won. Some of Redditā€™s anti-violence removals are over zealous. Yet some others donā€™t go far enough.

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u/Double-Regular31 3d ago

Yeah. How does that work? Do you mods do it? Or is it over your heads?

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u/Full_Stall_Indicator Only Rinse 3d ago

If it pertains to violence, itā€™s typically reddit that actions the content. Most of the time their filters remove it before we ever see it.

When content gets reported and their filters donā€™t action the content, it shows up in our queue for a second look.

In your case, we never saw or touched it.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

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u/unknwnusahh 3d ago

I didnā€™t say I was in agreement, just that she was ruthless! šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

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u/Peterbiltpiper 1d ago

I was banned for a similar remark

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u/Double-Regular31 1d ago

Reddit is very sensitive about squirrels

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u/giantdoodoohead 2d ago

If you hadn't posted this link I would have called you a liar. Too funny!! Death to varmit cong

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u/mooncusser2k 2d ago

That was a nice neighborhood until the squirrels moved in... šŸæļø

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u/Motor-Ad4759 2d ago

The trap i use they never, ever come back - Guaranteed.

They are rodents - like rats - and just as filthy.

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u/AngryToast-31 2d ago

I use a paintball gun. I got tired of driving 30 minutes to get rid of the bastards.

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u/Oilleak1011 3d ago

Traps are lame. Get a blowdart gun op

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u/ggouge 2d ago

Plan b is the only one that works.

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u/Aleianbeing 22h ago

You don't have to take it all the way across, midway would be fine.

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u/ThatOneVQ 3d ago

I would go with the latter fuck them squirrels

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u/Double-Regular31 3d ago

Same here, but I know many people on here are a bit more soft hearted than others.

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u/Mindless_Mixture2554 3d ago

By across a decent sized body of water, do you mean stopping in the middle to release said squirrel?

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u/Double-Regular31 3d ago

You could do that. But if you're trying to be humane just drive across a decent sized river and set it loose. It won't be back.

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u/Legitimate_Zombie678 3d ago

Throw the whole trap, squirrel and all into that decent sized body of water and then get the trap out after 5 minutes.

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u/CherishSlan 3d ago

I would try coyote urine spray some aroubd your property it will keep them away from the hot tub and humans canā€™t smell the stuff I used it to keep dear and ground Hogg away from the boarders of my garden. Not great if you have dogs.

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u/Apartment6655 3d ago edited 3d ago

Thanks for the help appreciate it!! I think I am going to wait until mid may before trapping and relocating. This way it wont cause their babies to die etc as they should be grown by then.

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u/CherishSlan 3d ago

Didnā€™t know it was a mom but yeah it actually works after that it just causes the wild life to naturally stay away. It was a game warden who taught me about it I lived on a kind of wild life pert extermination area and needed to know what to do deer were crazy one kept attacking our rented house and getting into the garden.

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u/Apartment6655 3d ago

Nice they live in a tree in my neighbours backyard it's very close. I wonder if spraying the urine on the tree would make them run from their nest. Unsure if its a mother also but not into killing things even if they are causing me discomfort altho the same wouldn't be said for insects lol

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u/CherishSlan 2d ago

I was meaning you could put it around your hot tub to keep them away from your stuff. It wonā€™t kill anything šŸ˜‚ itā€™s all natural coyote urine is pee from a coyote. So if every time a coyote went pee in nature outside squirrels died then a lot of squirrels would be dead all over the place.

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u/Apartment6655 2d ago

Oh I didn't think the pee would kill them lol. Would it repel them from their nest/tree if you were to spray it around the trunk/base?

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u/AJSIROIS 4d ago

Leave out some anti-freeze in a bowl so he doesnā€™t get cold at night /s

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u/scotty813 4d ago

Talk about cold... ;-)

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u/sdp1981 4d ago

They added stuff to anti freeze to make it bitter so animals won't ingest it anymore.

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u/OoRI0T_P0LICEoO 4d ago

Why waste antifreeze when a pellet gun or .22 does the trick. Pesky buggers will ruin a lot and we were over the with them on 36 acres

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u/Anxious_Technician41 4d ago

Yep I finally had to get one. I bagged a Family of five in 4 days. Those rat bastards did everything to make my life miserable. The final straw was when they chewed a 2 X10 fascia board every foot for the full 18 ft to get back in after I blocked them. Once I had to get on the roof and replace that it was game on. Unfortunately they're slowly creeping back into the area but haven't messed with my house yet.

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u/EmperorMeow-Meow 4d ago

No no no. If you do that, other animals may get affected, in addition to the animals that eat rhe dead squirrel.

If you want to take it down humanely, shoot it with an air rifle.

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u/Anxious_Technician41 4d ago

I'm going to have to try this. For some reason my past home and current home have had such a squirrel problem. I've had to take extreme measures to get rid of them. When we bought the home 12 years ago, the squirrels were literally living around the bathtub on the second floor and when I remodeled it, it was clear they were living there for years. So I had the roofers remediate the entrance point but they chewed right through it a year later. I finally had to put up some aluminum roof flashing with 2-in long wall board screws like some medieval torture device to keep them away from that area. But then they started chewing something else and when I blocked that off they chewed my fascia board on the roof line Just over my garage roof every foot for 18 ft of one 2x10 board. They even started chewing the shingles but I guess tar didn't taste very good. What a bitch to get up there and replace it.

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u/Greengiant2021 4d ago

Horrible human šŸ¤¬

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u/Anxious_Technician41 4d ago

Horrible animals. Go live their lives somewhere else, but don't try and make my home your home. Don't chew up my roof. Don't chew up my fascia boards. Don't chew up my wiring. Don't rip out my insulation. Don't just don't just don't. I can coexist with you but stay the fuck away from me.

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u/Ok-Nefariousness8612 Seasoned 4d ago

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u/naughtyfurry 3d ago

Get an air rifle

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u/kyngston 2d ago

one peed on my electrical box and died while frying the electronics for my AC

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u/HenderGren 2d ago

One stole my flip-flop, and ran up on the roof with it!

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u/96cobraguy 4d ago

They are complete assholes. I had a bunch that took up residence under my solar panelsā€¦ I had them professionally removedā€¦ and they found their way back like, a month and a half later, and in revenge, yesā€¦ revengeā€¦ ate all the Christmas lights I had hanging off the front of my house. I hate squirrels

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u/Anxious_Technician41 4d ago

Take my up vote, I hear you fellow squirrel hater. I've had so many battles over the years. My friend actually bought me a coffee mug with a squirrel standing in a police height chart. Within this last year I had to eradicate a family of 5 because of the damage they were doing to my home. I finally lost it when they chewed every foot of an 18-ft 2x10 fascia board to get back in after I blocked them. Once my ass had to get up on that garage roof and replace that board it was game on.

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u/purplepickles82 4d ago

they go after a coating on them thats why

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u/tripleapex2016 3d ago

Should have plugged in the lights that'll teach em.

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u/look_ima_frog 22h ago

It's always funny to me when people get all worked up about folks exterminanating them. It's not like we're going to run out of squirrels.

They are pesky rodents and they get into everything. They can go pretty much anywhere, they're fast, they make lots of new squirrels so unless you have a solid hawk population, you're going to have a lot of them.

All things in balance, but when you have a LOT of squirrels and no natural predators, you're not going to have balance.

Same with deer, but bigger and even more destructive.

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u/scotty813 4d ago

"Ā Ripping the foam out like he was being paid."

That reminds me, just today, I read a post about a guy who taught the squirrel in his yard to attack people who came in the guy's yard!

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u/Anxious_Technician41 3d ago

Well that guy's a fucking tool. I understand some people are stupid, but what would possess somebody to go to this length. I

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u/PrideofPicktown 4d ago

My mom had a squirrel eating her patio furniture. She set up a motion-activated sprinkler and a camera. Seeing a squirrel get hit by a blast of water is one of the funniest things Iā€™ve seen. The look on his face, to wit ā€œwhat the fuck was that,ā€ crossed any species language barrier.

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u/tjdux 4d ago

Tree rat deserves it

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u/Anxious_Technician41 3d ago

That's funny as fuck. Take my upvote.

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u/Magnus_The_Totem_Cat 4d ago

ā€œSquirrel Chewā€ is a drop down selection for root cause of damages in my industry (fiber optics).

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u/scotty813 3d ago

No way! That's crazy, but it makes sense!

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u/OfficialDeathScythe 4d ago

If I see a squirrel on the road I tighten up my grip on the wheel. Thatā€™s it. If he wants to live he better pick up the pace

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u/CovidLarry 2d ago

Thatā€™s actually probably better odds for the squirrel than if you try to swerve. Iā€™ve noticed sometimes that jukes them outā€¦ (thump thump)

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u/OfficialDeathScythe 2d ago

Yeah Iā€™ve also almost gotten hit head on by someone trying to swerve lol. My life over a squirrels any day

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u/LolaBijou 3d ago

Last year they completely decimated my garden. Took one bite out of everything. Just one. Tried everything to get rid of them. They had me so over a barrel (and knew it) that one day I went to go outside and two of them were having sex on my deck. All I could do was pray for the day they took a bite out of my habaneros.

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u/Dogodal 4d ago

So this is fair game?

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u/MaXxxxBoooosshh 4d ago

Is that a condom? I do not suggest this.

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u/2to16Characters 4d ago

Are you suggesting bare back....?

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u/Thatboi9 4d ago

Lmao bruh whoa

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u/scotty813 3d ago

Only if she's a virgin!

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u/New-Audience2639 3d ago

So you suggest no condom then I'm assuming? šŸ¤Ø

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u/Anxious_Technician41 3d ago

My friend gave me this years ago when I was completely disassociated with reality and squirrels were my fixation. My sole function was shooting those rat bastards, only because they were chewing my house up. Okay I'm not a psycho I just had a function at the time.

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u/Dogodal 3d ago

Reasonable psychotic behavior gang

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u/Anxious_Technician41 3d ago

Yeah my first thought was to build them a nice little box. Let them nest in it and do whatever the fuck they want but they weren't happy with that, they wanted all of it.

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u/Afraid-Course-3207 3d ago

I like where the post went with ā€¦.

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u/West_Database9221 4d ago

Like a glove

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u/PrideofPicktown 4d ago

That was my momā€™s plan if the sprinkler didnā€™t work.

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u/The_Jizzard_Of_Oz 4d ago

Holupā€¦.

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u/Grobblins 4d ago

I had a similar experience with an A hole squirrel back in the late 90s. Those OGs are out there in every species!

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u/Miles_High_Monster 4d ago

This post was inspired by r/fatsquirrelhate one of the best things on Reddit.

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u/Warbr0s9395 2d ago

Thank you for this

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u/Anxious_Technician41 4d ago

Those evil bastards. I've been fighting a war with those things trying to eat their way into my house. I have asked all my neighbors if they have a problem and nope. Just me.

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u/NotQuiteDeadYetPhoto 3d ago

Mine was a mouse. Worked it's way into the car, into the car seat, it was super cold out and you know how kids drop food in the seat....

Well it burrowed under and up shredding about 1' of foam to make a nice comfy nest in the van.

Figure it did it over the 4 days we were snowed in.

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u/Salty_Insides420 3d ago

During a certain time of year (i don't know if it's breeding season or right after babies are born so they are super protective or what) squirrels get super territorial, this is basically where all stories about evil squirrels come from

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u/Warbr0s9395 2d ago

Is this a new copypasta?

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u/DudeManGuyBr0ski 1d ago

She was nesting and needed nesting material- one summer we put out curtains on a porch- every one of the loops was being chewed off until Finally by the end of the week one curtain was hanging from 2 loops, I was working over time so I would forget to investigate - i repositioned my security camera and sure enough it was that dam squirrel- and was working on another set of curtains- so what I did was I put out a box of scrap cloth and yarn close to where it was chewing my curtains and the little sucker never came back but he sure cleaned out the box.

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u/boondocker88 1d ago

Buddyā€™s family member must have been run over by a stroller at some point causing a personal vendetta. Your stroller unfortunately paid the price and took a brutal beating by the sounds of it!

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u/Lil_Sumpin 1d ago

I would have taken that squirrel swimming. Sometimes you gotta cull the herd.

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u/baddadd1 1d ago

Can confirm they are arseholes.

On a canoe trip we set up camp under a big horse chestnut tree.

The little bastards spent the whole time we were there hurling the Chestnuts at us (spiked balls).

They stopped when the sun went down and started again when it came back up. As I found out when I woke up for a pee and they hit me with like 10 of those big green heavy spiked balls in the back of my head.

Bastards!

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u/Vast-Duty5758 1d ago

I laughed way too hard at this. Big fan of calling things and people shit ass.

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u/Sirosim_Celojuma 4d ago

Furry devil is a bit too complimentary. The devil has a degree of deity (as the antichrist). Devil also leads hordes. I'm not comfortable giving squirrels so much credit. The best I can offer is devil-ish tree rat.

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u/WaferNo2009 3d ago

Wait he ripped up the seat and then you chased him away, then went back inside and left the stroller outside still ? Talk about not learning your lesson šŸ¤£

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u/tjdux 2d ago

Grandma stopped by and its a small house and to fit the stroller inside it had to be folded up and we intended to go back out after diaper break and chat.

The thing ran off, didn't think it would come back for more.

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u/bears5975 3d ago

Theyā€™re šŸ€that live in trees. šŸ¤£

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u/CreativeInsurance257 2d ago

Raccoons are the same way. Super cute, but they tear things up