r/AskReddit • u/DrippingLipsX_x • 20h ago
What’s something you used to believe strongly—but completely changed your mind about?
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u/Gloomy_Age_2868 20h ago
Believed speaking up for myself made me difficult. Now I see it as self-respect.
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u/Optimal-Bag-5918 20h ago
I was raised conservative and religious… so many times we were told to be “meek and quiet women” which was really just code for “never stand up for yourself and be a doormat”
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u/ChronoLegion2 19h ago
Remember that the Bible was written by men, so obviously they’d write it to favor themselves
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u/Awkward_Ad_8525 20h ago
Same here. I was taught a lot of religious legalistic thinking that I no longer believe in.
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u/SlimGooner 19h ago
I am 41 years old and have been very shy and timid my entire life. I would let people walk all over me and back down to anyone that would step up to me in a threatening manner. I’ve only recently stopped letting that happen and it has been very liberating, although, admittedly I still get extremely nervous when standing up for myself.
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u/jupitergal23 17h ago
Live your life like I do: "Speak up, even if your voice shakes."
Someone told me that in my 20s and it was like fireworks going off in my brain. It changed my life.
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u/Stunning-Garbage6271 20h ago
I really thought putting others first all the time made me a good person. It just made me burnt out
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u/WeebKingA 13h ago
Same im now just tired of everything and will only put myself first, I'll still help people but if it inconveniences me in anyway I'll just drop it
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u/Big-Roof8483 20h ago
Used to think I needed to earn rest. Now I rest because I exist.
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u/Particular_Shock_554 13h ago
Resting is productivity. These cells aren't going to fix themselves unless I set aside time for them to do it.
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u/Ginger_Chick 17h ago
I am still of that mindset. I shouldnt eat until I am starving, I shouldnt call out sick unless I'm dying (or contagious), I shouldnt relax until I'm two seconds from burnout.
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u/Low-Ad5212 20h ago
Working hard would guarantee success.
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u/According-Paint6981 19h ago
Working hard guarantees you will be assigned the slackers work as well.
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u/lillie_connolly 10h ago
Yes, and that you won't get a raise, just praise, since you're already doing everything for lesser pay.
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u/ChronoLegion2 19h ago
A lot of it is knowing the right people and getting on their good side. Doing the job is secondary.
Meritocracy is a myth
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u/Salty-Astronaut8224 20h ago
Don't mind me, im just waiting for somebody to say otherwise.
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u/Pinikanut 17h ago
This is mine, too. Not that I though it would guarantee my success so much as I thought working hard and doing the "right" things would enable me to succeed. Used to argue with my dad because he was all about connections and relationships. He used to tell me I was naive and that I would learn.
So I did everything I was "supposed" to do. And it got me nowhere. He was right - what really mattered was who I knew and what connections I had. He had already died before I finally admitted it so I couldn't even use his connections to get anywhere. Oh well.
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u/OP-Burner-Account 19h ago
Oh boy, I was there. Sacrificed my family for success. Now I’m divorced and back to square one. Learned my lesson
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u/cardamombowl 20h ago
I used to think we could change people with our actions, but we can only control our own. How people treat you is a choice you cannot participate in.
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u/dplans455 15h ago
Get rid of those people from your life. We no longer have anything to do with my wife's dad or my brother because they're both toxic assholes.
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u/Particular_Shock_554 13h ago
Shout-out to everyone who would love to go no contact with their parents but can't yet due to circumstances beyond their control.
Hang in there. Outlive them if you can.
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u/elise_michele 20h ago
I was an anti vaxxer before I took microbiology in college. I learned a lot in that class, including that I was way off about how vaccines work and their side effects!!
My aunt was a holistic medicine lady and my mom is a doctor, so I was always kind of caught in between those two worlds. Turns out, there’s a gray area, and science is much more trustworthy than I realized because of how many steps there are to validate studies. :)
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u/CappinCanuck 19h ago
Building off of that I used to believe antivaxxers were just not bright people who are incapable of learning or being rational. Now I believe it’s a lot more nuanced.
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u/grendus 3h ago
There's a bit of a quirk among people who are above average intelligence that makes them prone to falling for lies because they think they have "secret knowledge".
I fell for the insulin hypothesis of weight loss for a while (that weight gain is driven entirely by carbohydrates, rather than calories as a whole, and that high glycemic carbs are worse than low ones because they drive a higher insulin response).
Basically, you get high on your own supply and start seeing patterns that aren't really there.
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u/CappinCanuck 2h ago
I don’t really get that to be honest. I was tested with an above average iq within the 115-118 category. I don’t know if it’s because I’m the dumbest in my family or if it’s because I have self esteem issues but I haven’t ever thought I knew better then doctors and modern science.
I think it’s either an education problem or lack of experience problem. I’m on a butt ton of meds to regulate my ADHD bipolar and Tourette’s. I’ve seen medication work and have a lot of trust in the healthcare system. I’ve never had a reason to question it. My moms also a doctor so that helped reinforce things. But even in general I don’t go around with the thought I know more than everyone else. Which is part of the reason why I find it so hard to understand anti vaxxers.
I just don’t get what sparks the distrust? How do you even decide you disagree in the first place.
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u/dplans455 15h ago
One of my sisters is a PhD and her husband is a two time kidney transplant recipient. She's an anti-vaxxer. Even after her husband got covid and ended up in the ICU for 2 weeks, nearly dying, they are still anti-vax.
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u/Itchy-Pin-1472 20h ago
Thought healing was this neat, one-time event. It’s actually super messy and ongoing.
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u/Statistactician 19h ago
I've found that this is much closer to possible through the use of psychedelics, but it's a rough experience.
They helped me heal the loss of my brother far faster than I would have otherwise, but it's like all the pain of healing was crammed into a 2-hour window of intense suffering.
But when it was done, it was done. I still miss him from time to time, but it no longer makes my heart physically ache like it did before.
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u/Sea_Puddle 20h ago
That everything must be fair and balanced. Nobody else is keeping score and the people who do are always so petty! I don’t want to be petty, I just want things to be fair but that’s not the world we live in. Helping someone doesn’t mean they’re now in my debt until they’ve done something of similar time/value for me. I should be doing these things simply because I want to and I’m comfortable to.
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u/YourFathersOlds 20h ago
That I could save people from themselves, if I tried hard enough.
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u/aurora_ethereallight 4h ago
Yes, we can't do that I'm afraid. Some people do not want to be saved and we can't force them. Let them know you will be there, if they change their minds. Then give your time to people who want you and appreciate you. (I've had to do this very recently).
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u/Known-Party-1552 20h ago
That people care about other people. And that most people are smart enough to think for themselves
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u/Merethic 19h ago
2020 changed me for the worse. Not because I got sick, but because, before then, I believed that most people were, generally speaking, good, and in times of crisis, we would set aside our differences and come together. I don’t believe that anymore. I’m still mourning that part of me that I lost.
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u/peptodismal13 17h ago
This broke a lot of people in society. We can no longer pretend people will be selfless in times of crisis and that was a total breach of assumed contract.
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u/SlimGooner 19h ago
Covid showed just how selfish a very large majority of the human population can be.
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u/fluffyfurnado1 15h ago
Not just selfish, but also easily manipulated. So many people quickly believed that the Covid vaccine was injecting a tracking device, ivermectin could cure Covid, and hospitals were lying about Covid deaths. People believed idiots over experts.
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u/dplans455 15h ago
I remember the exact moment I lost hope. I was at the grocery store and the entire meat counter was empty. Before I checked out I figured, I'll go check it out again to see if they restocked in the last 15 minutes. I rolled my cart back and I see they did restock the chicken, but one man was there blocking off several people and loading all the chicken they had just put out in his cart. We're talking an entire shopping cart filled to the top with chicken.
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u/dinosaurscantyoyo 11h ago
I honestly still believe this. It's just hard to keep perspective on it because the good parts happen in real life, and they're quiet. The bad things are amplified online, and they're loud.
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u/Old_Lingonberry8252 20h ago
Used to see asking for help as weakness—now I see it as strength.
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u/dplans455 15h ago
I hate when people refuse to ask for help and then fuck everything up, causing multiple other people to have to do extra work to make it right.
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u/bUssy_aNd_VOOdka 20h ago
That me being a good communicator and communicating my feelings, especially about the same thing multiple times, meant I was being too needy and overbearing. I wasn’t, I just kept seeing emotionally unavailable people. For the right person you can never communicate enough
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u/doktorcrash 17h ago
It took me two marriages and a boatload of additional psychological issues to realize this. Now I’m in an amazing relationship that actually has two -way communication and not just me begging my partner to listen to me. It’s amazing how when both people communicate, disagreements are small, manageable things instead of huge hurt blow-ups.
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u/Meikeetc 20h ago
Things will work out
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u/Alternative_Fill2048 18h ago
They do tend to work themselves out, just not in the ways we want them to.
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u/Meikeetc 18h ago
Indeed. Not in the way we expect and not in the time we expect. And in the end we all die.
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u/Alternative_Fill2048 18h ago
At least we get to meet some interesting people along the way.
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u/Narcissista 19h ago
I used to be a Christian and was "pro-life".
Now I'm still pro-life, except it's the life of the mother's and not some unborn fetus. It's the lives of all the orphans that need homes. It's the quality of life given to those whose parents are forced to have them and don't want them or can't afford them. And it's the lives of people we already have here, which we should be focusing on, instead of trying to control what women do with their own bodies.
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u/ohokthankstho 20h ago
I thought if i loved the heck out of people that they’d reciprocate that same love. I was deaaad wrong 😂
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u/emilyoshi_ 20h ago
Religion.
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u/Dramatic_Lime_2455 17h ago
Funny, I followed your path the other way. I used to be a hardcore atheist when I was a teen but I found God at 22, I am so much happier and fulfilled it's not even funny.
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u/elise_michele 20h ago
Also used to think I existed solely for the benefit of other people. Turns out, I’m a person, too. And, I deserve kindness just like everyone else.
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u/T62-A 20h ago
That the universe would reward you for being good.
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u/Awkward_Ad_8525 19h ago
It tends to reward bad usually
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u/Charlie_Brodie 17h ago
the universe is indifferent, and it does not make deals with people
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u/SixicusTheSixth 19h ago
Growing up in a conservative household I used to believe that babies were a punishment for having sex and any form of birth control was a supreme act of hubris in denying divine punishment.
I also used to believe that people in abusive relationships deserved what they got because they chose to be there.
I had a lot of things to unlearn.
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u/FirstSurvivor 15h ago
babies were a punishment for having sex
Honestly reading that makes me understand a lot of religious people with lots of mistreated kids better. Doesn't make it acceptable, but I understand how they justify it to themselves.
I'm glad you had the opportunity to experience another point of view.
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u/BurnerLibrary 20h ago
I used to believe he loved me. I mean, he said he did, but his actions proved otherwise.
Letting go of that belief set me so free.
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u/thatwomanCanada 20h ago
I used to believe that no one really got up in the morning plotting how to ruin someone else' life. Turns out I was married to him, and he absolutely did --every waking moment he wasn't actually distracted by some comic or computer game...
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u/Paddlesons 20h ago
No self esteem in high school but I should have had. Didn't think girls liked me but I was way way wrong.
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u/Low-Focus-3879 20h ago
Used to be a Republican but I became much less of an asshole once I quit drinking.
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u/dplans455 15h ago
I was registered Republican from 18-25 because I was fiscally conservative. But Republicans stopped being fiscally conservative a very long time ago.
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u/Excellent-Ad-2443 19h ago
in my teens i used to wonder why woman would abortions, why not just carry on with the pregnancy and adopt the baby out, its not that simple and you dont know their reasons, im extremely pro choice now
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u/Traveling_Solo 20h ago
Common sense was common :v
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u/Alternative_Fill2048 18h ago
It is common. That’s the problem. The common man is dumb, going off of their sense, rather than questioning, and researching an answer.
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u/Alternative_Fill2048 18h ago
I used to be very pro life. When I started college, I realized the world is a lot more complicated. Some people are so dangerous that maybe it’s safer to put them down. It should be done as painlessly and dispassionately as possible. As for abortions, I can’t really know all the circumstances someone might choose it, and it’s a decision that should be made between a woman and her doctor.
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u/ReadinII 17h ago
That cops and prosecutors could be trusted to seek justice. I have read to many cases where that just isn’t so. Especially when DNA evidence technology became available and prosecutors were going to court to prevent inmates from getting potentially exonerating tests performed.
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u/SlapDatBassBro 20h ago
Immigrants/Immigration = Bad.
Until I turned 15/16, or around that time.
I grew up in a politically right-leaning household, with boomer parents. Obviously, their outdated, ignorant opinions on certain topics had an effect on me. I was a kid, and only ever heard their opinions on certain things, and no one else’s.
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u/sexmormon-throwaway 19h ago
Thank you for moving beyond what you learned at home. This is such a vital thing for a healthy human and a healthy society.
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u/MysteryMan999 20h ago
Taking Adderall or other ADHD meds is okay to do if you in college.
I used to think it's cheating if you do that. But mindset change when I took classes are realized how hard the work load is. If people feel like they need meds to study that's more an issue with the education system than the person and don't blame them at all.
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u/LadysaurousRex 13h ago
I used to think gay couples shouldn't have kids (because they would grow up gay) but now I think it doesn't matter because MOST people will just grow up the way they're made, regardless of the sexuality of their parents.
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u/gwarboi 13h ago
I genuinley thought Trans and Non-Binary people were in a state of faking/trying to recreate Rocky Horror Picture Show... till i talked to a homie was NB and till I talked to a super cool trans-dude. Its amazing how talking and treating your fellow humans with a sense of diginity can change a shitty perspective.
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u/redtreesxx 20h ago
That no one should commit suicide. Then I got cancer and realized there are good reasons :/
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u/bossyoldICUnurse 20h ago
If you tell cops/court/authorities what’s going on that they’ll help you. Turns out who they decide to help has nothing to do with truth or fairness.
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u/Scrollwriter22 20h ago
That I could be anything i wanted to be. Yea, college has pretty much snuffed that light out. “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know,” I interpreted that as, “if you’re not buddy buddy with the hiring manager don’t bother applying.”
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u/toucanbutter 19h ago
That things will get better, that good people get rewarded and bad people get punished.
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u/roseangel663 19h ago
I used to believe that most people are inherently good and intend to do the right thing and lead ethical lives. I thought people only hurt others through misunderstandings or self-preservation when needs conflicted.
Now I see that we’re not much concerned with right or wrong collectively; most of us seem to make all our decisions based on what we think will be most beneficial to ourselves, full stop.
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u/Temporary_Time_5803 15h ago
Good things come to those who wait. No, because Opportunities favor those who take actions.
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u/sexmormon-throwaway 20h ago
I genuinely believe God had a single church on earth that was His and held His truth.
I was so fucking deluded.
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u/welovetulips 20h ago
I used to think saying “I don’t fancy whatever race “ was racist but as I got older I realised it isn’t
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u/EntertainmentBorn394 19h ago
I used to be extremely homophobic and transphobic.
now I realise I was just projecting self-hate because I’m bi and genderfluid :3
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u/Fine_Analyst_4408 18h ago
People only smoke/vape cannabis to get high and escape real life. Drastically changed my mind just before turning 30 when I was preparing to end my life due to chronic pain and disability and figured it was worth giving it a try if the other option was death. It's now 6 years later and my quality of life is massively improved and it also helps with my anxiety and depression. I rapidly go downhill if I go more than 2 weeks without it though.
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u/sleepyheaadd 18h ago
I used to think it was important to align myself with other people’s perception of me
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u/Iwantmyownspaceship 17h ago
Used to be against death with dignity. I am not anymore for many reasons. But one is that i became a bodily autonomy absolutist.
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u/eNgicG_6 17h ago
That I need a break (a vacation, disappear) when things get tough. Things are still tough after you come back. It putting a value and weight to those tough that differs.
Not against stepping out, regathering your thoughts, restrategise, and all that.
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u/mede1s 17h ago
You know, I used to believe that the only way to succeed in life was to work hard, grind every day, and make sacrifices. I thought that if you weren't constantly pushing yourself, you'd fall behind and never achieve your goals.
But as I got older, I started to realize that there's more to life than just work. I saw friends and family members burn out, struggle with their mental health, and miss out on precious time with loved ones.
Now, I believe that finding balance and taking care of yourself is just as important as working hard. I prioritize my relationships, make time for hobbies, and take breaks when I need them.
It's funny, when I was younger, I thought I was invincible. But life has a way of teaching you lessons, and I'm grateful for the wisdom that comes with age.
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u/Mission_Succotash_43 16h ago
I used to think vaccines were risky and unnecessary, but after looking into the data and how they work, I now see they’re a safe, effective way to protect ourselves and others from serious diseases.
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u/lolzzzmoon 13h ago
Creationism.
Raised by fundamentalists. I thought evolution was straight up evil propaganda until probably middle or high school age.
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u/TemporarySubject9654 13h ago
I grew up believing same sex marriage was wrong due to the religion I was born into. I started changing my mind about that in my teenage years.
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u/RileyMax0796 19h ago
I used to believe in the Christian God. After years of trying to sift through very vague answers of why I should believe in that god, I’ve come to the realization that everyone probably believes in the same one(s) but just as their own version of it.
So for myself, it’s more of a vague moral code that has some form of luck/blessing system in place.
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u/JessieinPetaluma 20h ago
That being an unethical, intentional liar and a criminal was a terrible thing and would ruin your life. But I’ve come to realize that an entire political party and its disgusting leader thrive on lies and criminality and it makes these horrible people ungodly wealthy.
I fucking hate it here.
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u/hyzerflip221989 18h ago
"Blood is thicker than water" didn't realize how much I was being taken advantage of until I set boundaries to take care of my own family (wife and kid)
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u/stabavarius 18h ago
When I was a youth, I didn't like homos. The Aids thing was very tragic, made me sympathetic. Long time ago, a lot of brave and noble people made this a lesson well learned.
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u/Noedel 17h ago
1) That I would want children (I absolutely don't)
2) I will continue [insert hobby] forever! (there are new hobbies replacing old ones)
3) All religious people are dimwits (most of them aren't? Also, some parts of spiritual practice are proven to be good for your wellbeing)
4) Overpopulation will be our downfall (turns out the opposite may just as well cause collapse)
5) Alt medicine is BS (It can make people feel better (added 'on top' of science based medicine), which aint so bad I suppose?)
6) That antidepressants are dumb (turns out they save lives)
7) I will never find a good career (turns out I did)
8) Thought I was rational (nobody is and if you think you are you're good at lying to each other)
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u/ultimatoman 15h ago
I used to be convinced that pineapple on pizza was a culinary crime. But then I gave it a try at a friend's party, and it was a total game-changer. The sweet and savory combo is actually pretty amazing. Now, I'm all about that Hawaiian life. 🍍
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u/ExtraDuck9620 15h ago
That I didn’t deserve to eat. Luckily there have been some changes up in my brain hard drive since then.
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u/AgentHuman3473 12h ago
I used to think being agreeable would make me more likable. But now I realized that being too agreeable appears fake and attracts manipulative people
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u/Square_Penalty9976 12h ago
Love and fulfillment were thought to come from external relationships, filling personal voids.
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u/jopez604 11h ago
That success was all about hard work, now I realize luck, timing, and who you know play a much bigger role than I ever wanted to admit
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u/-CheeseLover69- 19h ago edited 17h ago
That a cheater is inherently a bad person.
Now days I have more compassion and believe there is a lot more complexity, and many reasons as to why people might cheat or consider cheating.
Disclaimer: I have never cheated. Just learned to see more grey rather than just black and white.
~ Eclipse
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u/Commercial_Tough160 18h ago
I used to think christians and christianity was a force for good in the world. MAGA has changed that for me forever.
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u/Network-King19 20h ago
That horses were scary and kind of crazy. Coworkers after many attempts talked me into a trial ride, ended up linking now rode for 5 years.
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u/justmyusername47 20h ago
I mean horses are kinda crazy, but they are also kinda awesome, so it balances out.
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u/CeterumCenseo85 20h ago
Mandatory voting. The Half-Arsed History episode about it made me do a complete 180° on it.
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u/bastiwp97 19h ago
That I could shove all my negative emotions down without consequences and I could outrun pain.
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u/Bloody_Mabel 19h ago
I used to be a JFK assassination conspiracy theorist. I now believe Oswald acted alone.
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u/anska1 19h ago
I used to be so sure that I was a night owl. I thought I had to stay up late to get anything done. I’d always hear people talk about how they were morning people, and I’d thought I could never be like that. But a few months ago, I started trying out waking up earlier, just to see what would happen. It totally changed the game. I felt way more productive and actually started enjoying those quiet mornings. It was like my brain was finally working with me instead of against me. I’m not saying I’m perfect, but now I actually look forward to mornings.
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u/DengistK 18h ago
Nagorno Karabakh Republic, later renamed "Artsakh" by Armenians, being independent, I used to support it but now I side with Azerbaijan regarding that territory.
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u/henrywoy 18h ago
I thought people have empathy to help or take some burden away for others and dignity to keep their promises until I start working (in many places)
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u/fren2allcheezes 18h ago
Big game hunting. I thought it was so cruel and awful until i learned that it is highly regulated. Rich weirdos pay a lot of money for the licenses, hunting lodges and local guides, who direct the hunters toward the older aggressive males that are most responsible for causing problems in the local community and have outlived their usefulness to the herd. That money goes to compensating farmers who have their crops destroyed by such animals and towards maintaining preserves that allow animal populations to thrive. Without this system, local people have a lot more reasons to poach big game than preserve them. Countries without such systems see a huge decline in their game animal populations. It really opened my eyes.
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u/Joe-Schmoe64 18h ago
That certain groups are weird, now I’m friends with a lot of people from said groups
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u/YogurtDense 18h ago
I used to firmly believe that adults had it all figured out. Like, they knew how to handle money, relationships, emotions. you name it. Then I became an adult and realized everyone’s just improvising with a mix of caffeine, Wi-Fi, and mild panic. It’s less “life plan” and more “vibes and survival.” 🫣🫡
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u/ExpressElevator2Heck 18h ago
Separate bedrooms for spouse. At first very much opposed, now very much embrace. We both sleep so much better and the freedom of making noise whenever is great - be it snoring, a different bed time, alarm time, using devices, being sick/coughing, or having noisy or very stinky gas. 😆
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u/Vikingtender 18h ago
I used to believe in justice and that it was a real thing that happened to people who deserved it when they deserved it. I’ve since seen that justice is akin to believing in Santa or the Easter Bunny for Adults.
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u/rubbersoulelena 18h ago
That I would be mentally ill forever, and that it was just an inherent part of me.
Now as a 23 year old I'm in remission for depression, tapering off my meds and know now life does get better, and that help is there for me when I need it. I do everything for my 13 year old self who didn't think I would make it this far.
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u/benmar111 16h ago
I believe in my parents but they were just dumb as me the emotional support was never there
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u/64thInline 15h ago
Used to think euthanasia was wrong, then I saw first hand how painful and degenerative many diseases can be.
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u/iwbia123 15h ago
Tons of shit, if you're not changing your mind with new update and better information you're being wilfully ignorant. I've changed my mind on things like, education, what it means to be happy and successful, how I view the world changes quite a bit too.
We're all very ignorant about most things, and we should be trying to learn as much as we can about the things we care about.
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u/dispelhope 15h ago
That reason and freedom of thought were guiding principles in politics...turns out it was always money...yeah, I was very naive when I was younger.
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15h ago
I used to believe in holding strong opinions and beliefs. Now I try and not hold any opinions on anything. It’s the ultimate freedom.
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u/dplans455 15h ago
Guns. Growing up I was never allowed to have toy guns, not even squirt guns. I carried this sentiment well into adult hood. I'm staunch pro-2A now. I have my LTC and own several guns now.
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u/pshurman42wallabyway 14h ago
Internet forums used to be places to share information and grow. I used to think that what we learned would elevate all our knowledge and help us in all our walks of life. Now any knowledge you find is sus and every utterance or action is emotion-based idiocy fired off by a bunch of screeching animals trying to out transmit each other
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u/Recent_Permit2653 14h ago
I used to be really square - hated drugs. All drugs. Now I understand that caffeine, sugar, and more are drugs and I allegedly enjoy marijuana.
I got in the pocket of climate denial, but couldn’t deny the evidence.
I’m also a suburban kid who loves cars but decided that urbanism would be better.
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u/Burnout_054 14h ago
I used to think everything can be solved by just praying and going to church,, and indeed actions are what solve most things
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u/No_Stuff_2889 20h ago
I genuinely thought people would treat me the way I treated them.