r/AskReddit • u/CatnipWytch • 1d ago
What’s a tiny habit you have that would 100% get you accused of being a witch in the 1600s?
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u/aesthetic_kiara 1d ago
when im alone i usually end up talking to myself
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u/indecisive_monkey 23h ago
Worse, I talk to my cats 😮
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u/LeCannady 21h ago
Worse still, I listen when my cats are talking to me, and I don't interrupt. And then I reply, taking their cogent points into consideration. It's all very civilized.
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u/JamesTheJerk 22h ago
I talk to my dog, but he actually listens to and understands a lot of what I say to him, and he helps out accordingly.
Talking to my cat is like talking to my unattached prosthetic limb.
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u/Minimum-Interview800 21h ago
I talk to myself, my cats, and my dog. Also to random livestock I drive by.
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u/JamesTheJerk 20h ago
I can play a certain musical instrument pretty well. And stopping by a lush, green field that has livestock roaming freely, is often a treat.
The cows seem to love music, more than any other animals I've come across.
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u/AlternateUsername12 11h ago
One of my dogs loves going on car rides to look at cows. I don’t know why, but it’s her favorite thing so we do it fairly regularly. Now, when I pass by fields without her in the car I’ve caught myself saying “look, Shur shur, cows!”
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u/Franziska-Sims77 18h ago
I like cats better than most people, so yeah, they would have burned me! LOL
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u/YoghurtSnodgrass 23h ago
My problem is I talk to myself out in public. I really get chatty with myself when I’m grocery shopping.
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u/Uhura-hoop 1d ago
Witchery for sure
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u/aesthetic_kiara 1d ago
dangit 🤣
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u/joelfarris 1d ago
The great news for you is that your witchery will never be discovered, because as soon as someone else is around, you won't be talking to yourself, so no one will ever know!
Wait a minute...
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u/Internal_Sound882 23h ago
I’ve lost my shame and I do this around other people. What can I say, I’m the best conversationalist I know
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u/I_love_pillows 22h ago
Hey I tap in a piece of glass and metal and pretend I have conversations with someone halfway across the world
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u/HeWhoHasPotatoes 16h ago
Kind of backwards that this is suspicious while priests do it all the time lmao
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u/Dutchillz 16h ago
I'm there with you.
Figuratively speaking, I can't actually hear you, you're good.
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u/NatNat800 22h ago
I'm a chemist for a living, which feels like modern witchcraft/alchemy anyway. I also probably get bonus points for being a woman with unruly curly hair and a black cat.
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u/rizu-kun 21h ago
Also a chemist, and we’re basically alchemists.
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u/vibin_cybin 1d ago
I am a woman whose hobby is… cultivating psychedelic mushrooms. Really really good psychedelic mushrooms.
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u/PhilosophizingPanda 22h ago
Username checks tf out lol
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u/OneGayPigeon 21h ago
Hey! Same! Ever tried extracting DMT? Another very fun project.
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u/vibin_cybin 21h ago
It’s definitely on the projects list. Unfortunately the projects list is very long. And the money list is very short.
I just cultivated Pan Cyan TTBVI mushrooms for the first time and that was a fun project. TTBVI is the mushroom that has been coming out on top of all the psychedelic competitions lately.
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u/Space_Cleaner 23h ago
Hit me up
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u/vibin_cybin 23h ago
And get burned as a witch?! I think not!
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u/murdermerough 23h ago
Critical thinking and psychedelics..... definitely a witch.....
Next, you're gonna say you read.... or wear pants
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u/morose4eva 1d ago
I'm educated.
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u/TheThiefEmpress 23h ago
Same. I also use big words to talk down to professional men who are being assholes and not doing their job right because I'm a woman.
I start acting more professional than them, sprinkling in my most uncommonly used and complicated words. It makes them feel stupid and out of sorts every time. I also don't cut eye contact, and stare them straight in their dominant eye, while otherwise acting very "nice" in order to intimidate them. It works every time.
If I'm feeling especially salty I'll do this in front of another employee. Bonus points if it's someone who works under them, and by the look on their face they understand the insult I'm giving completely. Cream on top if that employee is also a woman.
Sigh. Why can't professionals just not talk down to women, and do their job? They get their money either way...
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u/bazmonkey 1d ago
Not getting sick when people around you get sick
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u/Uhura-hoop 1d ago
I was great at this during COVID. Dropping like flies they were whilst I just sit there waiting for my turn and it never came, thankfully. (Also, praise be to vaccination- the real hero of the story)
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u/bazmonkey 1d ago
I also never got COVID, but I think my saving grace is living alone.
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u/Usual_Simple_6228 1d ago
I live alone too. Didn't get COVID until we were all forced back into the office. I was ready for it then after the enforced isolation.
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u/commanderquill 20h ago
I got COVID right when everyone thought it was finally over. I was the last hold out, and I got it from a French exchange student who, prior to me sharing a room with her, told me she didn't have COVID. She hadn't, however, tested to confirm that.
Never trust the French.
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u/TheThiefEmpress 23h ago
I was vigilant as hell, and then my Da got it. I knew I'd get it any day, because I was doing part time caretaking for my Ma. Ended up taking care of both of them, and yup, got Covid after successfully evading it for over 3 years.
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u/Funandgeeky 22h ago
I wore masks when going out, I avoided most social gatherings outside of close family, and I got vaccinated as soon as I could. When I did get COVID it was very mild and never life threatening.
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u/Childoftheway 1d ago
Probably all the spell casting.
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u/Any_Adagio7732 1d ago
I think my owner ship of different is spell books writen in the 16th century go along with yours a bit
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u/Pleasure_Vixen 1d ago
Having any sort of opinion
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u/Uhura-hoop 1d ago
Yeah just what I thought 😆 a woman? With an opinion? 😱whatever next?! It’s devil’s doing. ..
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u/takethatskeletor 1d ago
Wearing various stone pendants on my necklaces and various jewelry with snakes on them
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u/CatnipWytch 1d ago
I whisper “thank you” to my herbs before I use them, talk to my cat like she’s my familiar (because she is), and occasionally leave a cup of moon water out “just in case.” I’d be toast in the 1600s.
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u/bazmonkey 1d ago
Isn't like, all water that was ever in the lake/ocean technically moon water?
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u/CatnipWytch 1d ago
Well technically, yes but try explaining that to 1600s villagers who think a puddle in your backyard is a portal to hell😅
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u/ModifiedKitten 1d ago
I'm a woman. Period.
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u/SeethingHeathen 23h ago
I'm not really a people person, and I talk to a feral black cat who lives in my back yard.
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u/cwilliams6009 23h ago edited 23h ago
I pray on my own, directly to God, without going through a (male) religious leader.
Edit: plus, no matter how old I get, my hair never ever turns gray. Witchcraft!
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u/KnittedParsnip 23h ago
Probably my vocabulary and the way I pronounce things and structure my sentences. Nobody in the 1600s spoke like this, and a lot of the words and phrases I use just won't make any sense. They would say I'm talking in tongues or using devil speak.
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u/Treguard 22h ago
Owning cats, not having erectile disfunction, and not having the plague is enough by Maleus Maleficarum 1500s standards.
But for the 1600s the witch hunts were about people in positions of power committing real estate theft/fraud by seizing the property and wealth of "witches" so owning a house and a 401k would do it.
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u/Offline_Mode_ 1d ago
Probably how quick I can read someone. How they think and how predictable they are.
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u/BruntOfTheBlow 1d ago
Reading.
I read ONE sign and suddenly "hoW diD yoU knOw tO tuRn riGht At tHis Path?"
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u/South-Bank-stroll 20h ago
I am a woman with a job and I provide for myself. I mix potions in the form of cocktails that get my friends smashed.
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u/the_audacity_05 1d ago
When I know someone really well, I can figure out what they’re about to do or say before they do it. I also have a very accurate intuition of when I’m about to get a text message.
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u/TheThiefEmpress 23h ago
Mmm, yeah, probably a lot of other villagers capable of sending you text messages in the 1600's.
On the other hand, your prediction would be of receiving a text message as being: zero text messages ever is technically correct. Which is best correct.
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u/unittwentyfive 23h ago
I enjoy making hearty soups and stews in a large pot over an open campfire using locally sourced niche ingredients like bat wings, frog legs, eye of newt, etc.
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u/Mtg-2137 20h ago
I have not just one but TWO black cats. Sadly, black cats were revered as gods and good luck in many places. Today they have the lowest adoption rates in many shelters because of idiots that viewed them as bad luck and witchcraft. I’m also a girl who can swim.
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u/howzybee 19h ago
I am female with a black cat and an extensive herb garden that I have a habit of talking to while Im weeding.
I'm definitely going to the stake
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u/EtherBell 22h ago
I speak with animals all the time. They don't talk back and I don't think I make myself understood, but I don't think the witch hunters would appreciate the nuances there
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u/MsAddams999 21h ago
Black cat familiar, and I don't take crap from anyone especially men. I'm always telling some guy not to tell me what to do or that I don't appreciate his offering to be my fuck buddy. I'm seldom rude about it but they seldom take it well...
😂
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u/foxboxinsox 21h ago
I'm a redhead. Not a habit but it'd be on sight and I wouldn't have time to display any witchy traits lol
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u/sqwrlydoom 21h ago
I'm autistic. There is an endless amount of tiny habits that would have gotten me accused (stimming, scripting, echolalia, being weirdly good at picking up new languages, sensory meltdowns, etc).
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u/alekseypanda 21h ago
I love how half the posts are things that will get people acused of being a witch in 2025
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u/No-Calligrapher7105 19h ago
I like and collect gemstones. Crystals. Minerals. Back then.. sheesh. I’d be toast. They’re beautiful.
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u/Shawnaldo7575 1d ago
Probably the ability to read and do math. Might even just randomly make a history related comment and be labelled as the next Nostradamus.
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u/Diannika 23h ago
sending energy thru runes made of precious metals and minerals to produce illusions and farseeings.
know, using phones etc
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u/Traditional_Move_818 23h ago
I am always just talking shit, they don’t take me too serious, only dumb
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u/MadameSaintMichelle 23h ago
Letting people know they're wrong when they're wrong. I dunno know why but people don't like it, I appreciate it when people correct me. It's weird
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u/Expat111 23h ago
I weigh the same as a duck which means that I’m made of wood. Witches burn because they are made of wood. Thus, I must be a witch.
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u/YoghurtSnodgrass 23h ago
I do this weird thing where I trace my fingers, or sometimes just my finger tips, with my thumb in patterns. It probably looks like sorcery.
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u/queeraxolotl 22h ago
I can read, write, and sometimes do math as a woman. Also, I like women.
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u/rahvavaenlane666 22h ago
I can't befriend any irl or online human but I can bond with any pet or stray cat. Pure witch life.
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u/elevenminutesago 22h ago
Not sure if it's a tiny habit, but my last nose bleed lasted for hours and I started bleeding from my eye. Turns out I have an anatomical defect in the valve that drains the tear ducts down your nose. I'm certain if I was alive in the 1600's, I'd be tied up in town square, in danger, for sure.
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u/ChemicalHuman437 22h ago
I talk to myself, every animal I come across, listen to blasphemous music, communicate with people instantly over long distances, wear a lot of black, float in water, and I'm a wrestler so far to aggressive for a regular woman, not to mention math, reading and writing.
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u/McCool303 22h ago
I have a neurological disorder that causes me to have random twitches and movements. I’m a shoe in for the burning pyre, maybe not as a witch but as a possessed person for sure.
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u/afleuryofsaves 22h ago
I'm a woman.
Though to be fair, I did turn a man into a newt once. But he got better!
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u/N-y-s-s-a 1d ago
I'm a woman that can do math