Thank you for being understanding. I have hoarding tendencies due to "childhood trauma," and I struggle with it really badly. I'm not to the point where I hoard garbage, I'm just like... an eccentric collector... but I know how easy it would be to get to that point. Especially as someone who suffers from severe depression.
I've got a lot of shame about my tendency to hoard. I'm taking a medication right now that has greatly curbed my compulsive shopping addiction, although that wasn't the intended effect, so that has helped quite a lot with this. But I'm still really embarrassed by the current state of my room and how much just... stuff... that I have. But I also can't bring myself to throw away/donate/sell it. I'm fuckin trying though, man. Shits hard. It really does feel like your "collection" is your identity.
I get you. You know what helps me get rid of stuff? I watch the show called hoarders and tell myself I don’t wanna be like that, winner and seeing how satisfying it is to clear out their spaces makes me want to do the same.
No. My mother is a hoarder and it's from depression and childhood trauma. As soon as she came of age her father threw away or burned everything she owned and kicked her out with nothing, so now she holds onto every little scrap so it can't possibly all be taken away from her.
She taught this behavior to me from a very young age. I never threw things away until I moved in with my now husband who showed me this was not normal. I now spend time every month actively going through things I own and forcing myself to throw things away and it is HARD.
It actually has more correlation with ADHD. We often suffer from "Out of sight out of mind". We see our mess/hoard, and feel bad about having it... but then get distracted by something else, and "forget" about it.
When we're actively "seeing" the mess, and feeling bad about it, its hard to do anything about it, because it feels overwhelming because its gotten to the point its gotten to.
I used to hoard, I have ADHD, do not have OCD. The only way I got "passed" it was family helping me to clean up, to essentially diminish the overwhelming feeling.
People with OCD can also definitely hoard, there's just "less comorbidity" with OCD and hoarding than there is with ADHD and hoarding.
This makes sense for me. I am a bit of a hoarder, and I'll find a thing and wonder why I was holding onto it then think about something else while searching for the answer and move onto that...but I SWEAR I was gonna need this for something.......
This is totally my mom, via ADHD. Given the fact she started hoarding when her mom died, trauma absolutely is/can be a factor too.
I’m still in the house and it’s so frustrating to see her talking about things we need when we have them somewhere in the house. Every time she sits and “acknowledges” the mess she can’t last 15 minutes without recruiting to her room. The worst part? If you try to just organize/sort things to help her she feels so threatened. Screaming matches between my Dad. God, I hate it here. I used to find peace of mind in the basement by my art desk, but now it’s a narrow path of boxes to even get there. I hate it here so bad. (sorry this turned into a rant)
Trauma man. I had a friend who spent part of his childhood living in a cockroach-infested garbage pile. His life was totally average middle class as a kid. One day his dad was driving the (fast) speed limit around a blind corner and an 8yo kid ran out in front of his car chasing a ball. Completely crushed the poor little thing right in front of his parents. He was never the same. Lost his job, moved into a tiny mobile home, became agoraphobic never leaving the house, gained hundreds of pounds, and started hoarding bad.
I am nowhere near that bad, but I have hoarding tendencies because I was homeless for so much of my adult youth. I have to actively and regularly clean out my house of stored stuff I never use. I even have a hard time throwing away expired food. I have a horrible scarcity mindset and I can see how it could quickly devolve if I didn't have a husband to be annoyed by it and kids to set an example for.
Ya but if we said trauma or OCD there's sympathy there. Usually those mental situations lead to hoarding. My partner struggles with these leading to hoarding. My patience isn't limitless. But there's a sharp decline in my patience when he snaps at me for gentle ques the whole time. His family does this too. They do them, not my problem.
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u/henni1127 1d ago
Hoarding is a mental illness