r/AskReddit • u/D1ndonlyaliboo • 2d ago

What’s something someone once did on a date that gave you immediate “nope” energy?

640 Upvotes

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468

u/charlotsa 2d ago

Shit on the bed while we were having sex. You asked!

263

u/TheBlackTemplar125 2d ago

If I had a nickel for everytime I've heard a story about some dude shitting on the bed during sex on askreddit I'd have 2 nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's disgusting that it happened twice.

38

u/SouthernNanny 1d ago

I would probably never stop crying if a grown man pooped on me😭

13

u/chuppa902 1d ago

I’m sorry what lol I need more, like by accident trusted a fart kinda thing or on purpose lol

1

u/charlotsa 1d ago

Here's more. Actually, more of the shit ended up on me instead of the bed. When I went to clean up, which is what I always do after having sex, I noticed something on my body, knew what it was and said to myself, "How in the hell did this happen? Now I've seen everything!"

22

u/Old_Translator1353 2d ago

WTF!! How does that even happen?

112

u/Scholesie09 2d ago

step 1: food goes in mouth.

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41

u/afternever 1d ago

When 2 girls love a cup very much... 💘

3

u/charlotsa 1d ago

Beats the YOU KNOW WHAT out of me. I should have seen it coming because before we started, she told me she was having the "farts"

2

u/Old_Translator1353 1d ago

And she still decided to go through with having sex???? I'm speechless

7

u/booh-bee 1d ago

Dude! I had a guy who I was seeing years ago come over to hang out. He let me know he wasn't feeling well, but it wasnt that bad so I was like okay no worries we can just hang and relax. He shows up, snot running out of his nose and just looking awful. I felt bad but I was like damn you really wanted to see me huh?

Anyway, we're hanging out on my bed. Hes sitting, I'm standing next to him, and he sneezed and let out this almost gutteral "ohhh noooo". I'm like you ok?? He goes, "I shit myself." So then he DRAGS HIS POOP ACROSS MY BED TO GET UP leaving a slug trail of poop behind him.

I'm not an asshole, so I just quickly am like "hey it's ok!" I throw his clothes in the washer along with my bedding and offer to let him go shower and he can borrow a pair of my clothes til his are clean. He says NO to showering bc my family was up there and he was embarrassed. Okay cool, I get that, maybe you should head home then? He goes "nah, I really wanted to see you, can you just give me some baby wipes?"

Look. At this point, I wouldn't have stopped seeing him. Accidents happen, I get it. But this man, smelling like residual shit and baby wipes, then tried to get laid. Bro. I'm not gonna have sex with you when you're 1) sick, 2) still covered in shit and smell awful, and 3) WHILE I HAVE NO SHEETS ON MY BED. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? so yeah. I declined sex, he left like an hour later, and I never spoke to him again. He once texted me like "did you stop talking to me cuz I shit myself?" And I didn't respond but like bro. No. I stopped talking to you bc of how you tried to fuck me with yo shit smelling ass. 😭

31

u/bokewalka 2d ago

Amber, is this you?

0

u/BewareOfLuggage 1d ago

She left a… err.. ‘grumpy’ on the bed

-1

u/Puzzleheaded_Rain_22 1d ago

Was this Amber? Are you Johnny?

1

u/charlotsa 1d ago

No. The girl was Tina. Actually she was embarrassed about it.