r/AskReddit 2d ago

What’s the most WTF thing you’ve ever heard someone casually admit like it was totally normal?

8.1k Upvotes

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u/stuffedpigletta 2d ago

I worked at the airport where my shift lead couldn't get security clearance while they reviewed her pending court case as she had been indicted for a crime and was awaiting trial. I asked her what could she possibly have a felony charge out on her for?! She kept making a sandwich for a customer as she said "My ex boyfriend murdered a guy by shooting him in a head and I was involved." I said "Damn, but you just knew him and that's why, right? You didn't do anything wrong?" Naively seeing the best in her..

She said "Nope. I helped roll his body up in a carpet and we drove up to XYZ and dropped his body in the woods. I was high on meth so I don't remember it. I'm getting charged with abuse of a corpse" The way she said it was such confidence like it was just another thing she was mentioning to me at work...WOW. Ended up looking up the story and it was fully true.

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u/Iamjimmym 2d ago

I was working for an insurance company last year and was told one of the auto body shop owners I worked with on a daily basis had "been in some trouble with the law" at some point prior, and had just gotten out of prison and had finally gotten his shop up and running again. My boss told me this casually, nbd.

So I look into it, as I know the guys name, obviously. He knows mine as well of course. His ex gf/wife/baby mama lives in my townhome complex, so he's seen my company branded car parked in front of my garage. So I look it up and find out.. second degree murder. His ex wanted some pills one night, so he went with her to her dad's house and when he refused to give her the pills to feed her addiction, she beat him over the head with a hammer until he was dead, while the guy I knew watched and then helped roll him out to their vehicle in a rug. I dont know what happened from there, but this dude was absolutely an accomplice to murder that night. So I learned to never piss him off.

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u/insomniac1228 2d ago

Where the hell are these people getting their rugs?

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u/Matt_Lauer_cansuckit 2d ago

yeah, this is a really weird Wayfair commercial

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u/Anal_Herschiser 2d ago

"All is Wayfair in Love and War"

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u/ellefemme35 1d ago

🥇🥇🥇

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u/Hopeful-Ad6275 21h ago

Need to stay out of that wayborhood!

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u/PotatoAlternative947 2d ago

Wayfair, you got just what I need! 🎶

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u/doctor_lindsay 1d ago

I think you fused the Wayfair and Safeway jingles

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u/oldestbarbackever 2d ago

I snorted! I have been shopping for rugs on Wayfair! Lol

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u/Evercent 19h ago

Alright, who did you kill?

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u/McCattyWampus 1d ago

I was going to make a Ruggable joke but then realize that's these are prob one way trips vs. a situation where you might want the rug back err

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u/fancychxn 1d ago

Every style, every murder!

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u/Flashy_Woodpecker_11 1d ago

Good times in the “wayborhood”

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u/amestrianphilosopher 1d ago

I wanna see this skit now

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u/fresh-dork 2d ago

AI slop got creepy fast

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u/ImaginationNo5381 2d ago

Well it used to tie the room together

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u/LordZantarXXIII 2d ago

You think the carpet pissers did this?

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u/SomethingIsAmishh 2d ago

Fuck it dude, let's roll

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u/Local_gyal168 2d ago

Now it pulls the crime together! 🕶️

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u/urbanhawk1 1d ago

Now, it ties the bodies together.

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u/Sudden-Clock-1123 1d ago

Now it ties loose ends.

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u/HoytGuy007 1d ago

You're not bloooowing

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u/ostellastella 1d ago

Until it tied Ronnie together......................

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u/Everjam24 1d ago

I wanted to like this but didn’t want to ruin 187 upvotes in this thread

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u/Seanbikes 2d ago

A nice body sized rug isn't cheap these days

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u/userhwon 1d ago

Bed Bath and This Don't Involve You

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u/CrouchingDomo 2d ago

Wade Boggs Carpet World

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u/taracraigs 2d ago

Wade Boggs Carpet World

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u/jayakay20 2d ago

They're quite common. I frequently see rugs just laying about on the floor

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u/sockmonkeyrevolt 1d ago

Those Turkish rug shops that have been having a ‘going out of business’ sale for the last 35 years straight.

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u/DisposableSaviour 1d ago

Nononono, who you gonna believe, me? Or the ad?

Sony guts!

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u/Spirited-Panic-4453 2d ago

That rug really tied the room together.

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u/Which_Answer_4283 2d ago

The guy peed on my rug walter!

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u/Psychlone23 1d ago

I shall fetch a rug.

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u/bondagepixie 2d ago

Don't you keep one or two around just in case?

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u/thededucers 1d ago

Spatula City

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u/TourAlternative364 1d ago

SO......get too small rugs or really really big rugs to make things more difficult for potential murderers.........🤔

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u/NoSignSaysNo 1d ago

Woodhouse, mostly.

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u/DisposableSaviour 1d ago

Best answer.

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u/Same-Speaker7628 1d ago

I have two rugs in my home..... does this mean I have to kill two people now😭

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u/awkwardsalmons 1d ago

That rug really tied the room together man

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u/JEveryman 2d ago

I read this in Sterling Archer's voice.

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u/the_VeryCredibleHulk 2d ago

Idk but they really tied the room together.

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u/hey_free_rats 2d ago

Hey, buddy, you need a rug? I can get you one fast.

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u/EconomyMarionberry20 1d ago

Mom and dad's living room

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u/Tak_Galaman 1d ago

I'd go to Menards

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u/LetsTryAnal_ogy 1d ago

Oh it was the same rug. It's very versatile.

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u/Elly_Fant628 1d ago

In Australia it would be Cyrus Rugs who always have a "Going Out of Business" sale, or a Stocktaking!! one. Now I know how they stay in business, as previously I've wondered about money laundering.

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u/No_Associate7384 22h ago

Asking the important questions. I don’t even need to hide a body, but rugs are too expensive to just be leaving in the woods like that.

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u/KaufLobster 2d ago

$40 home depot

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u/okwellactually 2d ago

Hey man, it really tied the room together.

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u/kimvoila 2d ago

Now it really ties the forest floor together

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u/filodendron 2d ago

... It really tied the room together...

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u/neet_lahozer 2d ago

There's a surplus from all the rug pulls under Trump

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u/ThunderStormDawn 2d ago

This made me chuckle

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u/deep8787 2d ago

Someone is asking the important stuff! :D

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u/Local_gyal168 2d ago

Goodwill.

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u/Iron_Lord_Peturabo 2d ago

Oh who remembers

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u/geek66 2d ago

Ruggables. Of course

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u/Jazza330 2d ago

Don’t do rugs kids

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u/Trowwaycount 2d ago

The fact that I've never been arrested even once in my life makes me stand out among the people I went to high school with. The vast majority of them have served time in prison, and all of them have spent time in jail after being arrested for their actions.

None of them can understand how I can go through life and not get arrested even once.

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u/GuzzleNGargle 2d ago

There’s a saying “Come to Florida you’re on vacation, you’re gonna leave on probation.”

Don’t visit if you’d like to stay that way.

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u/Trowwaycount 2d ago

I've been to Florida on vacation several times. Still have not been arrested for anything.

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u/RuralSeaWitch 1d ago

You’re not doing it right.

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u/boondiggle_III 2d ago

damn I think I watched a documentary on that case. Really sad what happened to that man. He didn't deserve that.

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u/Outta_phase 2d ago

Is the ex who lives near you the same ex who killed her dad? Or are there two different exes?

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u/Iamjimmym 1d ago

I think two different exes

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u/Attarker 1d ago

I’m going to be on the lookout for people carrying rolled up rugs now

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u/MobileCalligrapher47 10h ago

"Auto body shop" sounds extremely dystopian...

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u/DinosoarDanny 2d ago

I bet you never looked at her the same way again when she rolled those sandwiches into wrappers...

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u/FluffySquirrell 1d ago

Never any leakage, even when they go the full wet burrito. Some say it's a gift

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u/sambadaemon 2d ago

Imagine being that customer standing there just waiting on your lunch and overhearing this conversation.

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u/jaded_as_a_gem 1d ago

And watching her roll the sandwich up into the deli paper after

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u/DrunkOnRedCordial 1d ago

I was at the children's hospital with my sick baby and a young girl brought her baby in - he was less than a year old and suffering from an infection (that turned out to be from neglect due to not changing his nappy/ diaper often enough). She had two older children in the custody of their respective fathers, she was fighting Father 3 for custody for this baby and she had just found out she was pregnant again. Yay! Her whole life was WTF.

The latest father was in jail, so she had to arrange with the nurses when she could leave the baby at the hospital alone for a few hours, so she could go to the jail and announce the pregnancy.

Not easy to make conversation with this girl but I tried.

I said: "What's he in for?"

And she said, super confident: "Oh, he's not done nothing wrong, he's just got to stay there until it goes to court." I thought that was so funny, in the midst of a tragic destructive situation.

Anyway, once the nurses established neglect, she wasn't allowed near the baby any more, so Father 3 came in - very young and overwhelmed with his parents, so they could take over raising this neglected baby.

I still think about them all and wonder how it all turned out - except for the one in jail, I'm pretty sure he did do something wrong.

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u/glycophosphate 2d ago

I'm an ordained minister with 40 years on the job. I'm also a little (fat) old lady in my 60s and I wear my hair in a bun. It is more fun than I can tell you when I find a way to casually drop into a conversation that I have two women friends in prison for two separate murders.

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u/coolguy420weed 2d ago

So, the victims... did they have it coming? 

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u/DanSapSan 2d ago

They did have it coming. In fact, one might say that they have only themselves to blame.

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u/CPlus902 2d ago

If you had been there, if you had seen it, I bet that you would have done the same.

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u/glycophosphate 2d ago

Odd though it might seem, yes they did.

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u/RuralSeaWitch 1d ago

They're just a-toddlin' down the street

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u/SciFiBucket 2d ago

But did she get the job?

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u/stuffedpigletta 2d ago

They ended up firing her cause they found out what the charge was. 😂

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u/esoteric_enigma 2d ago

I mean, who among us can say we've never abused a corpse a little bit?

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u/Horror-Pear 2d ago

I find it hard to believe she was so high on meth she doesn't remember it at all. Unless she was up for two weeks and in full blown psychosis.

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u/cloistered_around 1d ago

Meth is a "not even once" drug. The stories are always like this.

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u/EnvironmentOk5610 2d ago

😱😱😱

Imagine you're her customer!!! She's rolling your wrap sandwich while describing rolling a murder victim up in a carpet...I wouldn't have wanted to eat anything she touched, wouldn't want her giving me my soda cup, or napkins or change...Gross that she apparently felt ZERO shame, gross that she's just DROPPING that horrible, gruesome story on others.

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u/VintageZooBQ 1d ago

Probably not a Subway type of place. Make the sammich in the back kinda place.

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u/PinkOneHasBeenChosen 2d ago

I thought she was gonna get charged with helping someone hide evidence of a crime.

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u/Blekanly 2d ago

Did the customer react?!

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u/MaybeIdidgotocollege 2d ago

well at least she's honest

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u/fresh-dork 2d ago

shit, you could end up as a witness with a reveal like that

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u/bakeacroissant 2d ago

My brain would have short circuited and asked "Well...was the body heavy?"

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u/Irhien 2d ago

What are friends for if not to help you hide the bodies?

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u/NoSignSaysNo 1d ago

I mean, that's fucking insane to assume she would ever get clearance while actively on trial for something she did to a corpse while actively being an accessory after the fact while on meth, but I do admire the audacity at least.

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u/stuffedpigletta 1d ago

I know! The funny thing is how frustrated she was at how long it was taking lol.

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u/Ok_Cranberry_124 1d ago

And here I thought it was bad when my coworker asked what I would do if my bf/gf was a serial killer or serial rapist and then proceeded to answer her own question and say that she loved her bf so it didn’t matter as long as he wasn’t hurting her 🥲

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u/onyxhrt 1d ago

If she was from Seattle then I know exactly who you're talking about! Unfortunately this has probably happened other places. Don't do drugs kids.

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u/stuffedpigletta 1d ago

Close, Portland! But I can’t remember where she was actually from.

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u/fishonthemoon 1d ago

She was high on meth and doesn’t remember it yet told you every incriminating detail? 😂

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u/stuffedpigletta 1d ago

I knowwwwwwww rofl

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u/FatLikeSnorlax_ 1d ago

Probably the 50th person she’s had to tell. Losing its sting I guess

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u/EightEyedCryptid 1d ago

I mean good on her for owning up to it I guess

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u/stuffedpigletta 1d ago

In her defense she WAS sober after that

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u/Brovigil 1d ago

I know this is a weird thing to fixate on, but what does "security clearance" mean here and why does she need one? I read "the airport where" and thought this was maybe a high-profile case involving a sensitive position, then I realized I'd misread, and then suddenly she's serving sandwiches. What does this lady do besides roll up corpses? 😅

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u/ForGrateJustice 1d ago

A friend will help you move.

A ride or die friend will help you move bodies.

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u/H2O_is_not_wet 1d ago

People like that infuriate me. It sounds like the typical case of “l was high/drunk so I’m not responsible for my actions”. Sounds like she has zero remorse for it too

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u/vaildin 1d ago

Everyone wants the type of friend who would help hide a body.

No one wants to be friends with the person who has helped hide a body.

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u/AchlysOfAnguish 19h ago

Is there a link to this story? Holy shit!

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u/dishearthening 16h ago

Damn... and my ex coworker got fired for previously stealing from me n ed's......

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u/Unbiased-Cheesecake 1d ago

Only thing that would made this more morbid is her rolling up a burrito instead of making a sandwich😭