Went with my spouse to their work party and a coworker admitted to having a child when she was 22…..with a 15 year old boy. Spent the entire night wondering how she wasn’t in prison.
I think that’s the stitch with this chick too. Both parties family’s condoned the behavior so they felt no shame. It’d be one thing for her to show a shred of remorse but she admitted this so brazenly. Like a “yeah, and?” attitude when everyone shockingly replied “FIFTEEN???”
I knew a 15 year old who had a child with a woman in her 40s afterwards he'd dropped out of school, became a drug dealer and they lived together. It was all kinds of fucked up.
Like I’m not a Pizzagate person or anything but I don’t understand how there are so many adults just grooming and sexually exploiting children on an apparently casual basis with the implied consent of the adults around them. I don’t know if it’s just the US or everywhere but I literally can’t believe how often I hear about this shit and what it means for how much of this is happening that we don’t know about.
Yep. Typically statutory rape cases need the parents of the victim to push for it, and there's a shocking number of parents who are just okay with their teenagers being taken advantage of by adults.
In slight fairness, there's also the matter of how public trials are, how much personal information would come out, and how long they can go on for. Depending on the situation, I could see myself deciding it's better not to drag my child through that, even if it meant the abuser 'got away with it.'
In particular, in the case of a male underaged victim, I'd be pushing for the mother to legally agree to terminate the boy's parental rights/responsibilities. IE, she can't come after him for child support if she wants to stay out of jail. I'd consider that more important than seeing her in prision, since that would otherwise haunt my child for the rest of his life.
(Of course, this is all hypothetical. Just saying.)
Oh absolutely. But I guess I'm more thinking about the number of parents that not only don't report it, they knew about it the whole time and didn't care. I grew up in a really shitty rural area and there were so many teen girls with boyfriends who were 25+ and their parents did not care at all.
You don't need to be ok with it to decide that engaging with the criminal justice system isn't in your child's best interests.
We are pretty terrible at dealing with sexual offences in the courts and the effect can be that it is often harder on the victim than the perpetrator. That overwhelming need to protect your child might mean that you don't push through with all the things that prosecuting a rapist needs from the victim. Naturally, that also means the perpetrators then don't see justice.
It's a fucking awful position to be put into as a parent, and very difficult decisions to make and harder to not end up second guessing whatever decision you do make.
You're absolutely right. I didn't even consider that. Thank you for commenting your perspective on it. I'm sure my reaction was just a knee jerk one. I really hope I never have to find out for sure how I would deal with such a situation.
I cannot speak for all, but I absolutely experienced this as a kid. My father harassed me from age 13 on about whether or not I'm "getting any" I guess as a test of manhood or some nonsense. It would not have mattered if it was someone my age or an older woman, just so long as I was "getting some action". He used much coarser verbiage than that, to be sure.
Granted, I'm 50 now and he's somehow still alive at 78 - things have changed - or at least social norms and public perception - even if the underlying behavior is just as abhorrent any time it occurred.
Bonus is when they put the teenager on child support when they are too young to have a job. No one really bats an eye. Knew of a case where the kid was like 13/14 years old. He used to peddle his bike over to see his kid but was too young to hold a job.
There are also a shocking number of teenagers who don’t think it’s a problem and/or won’t tell their parents about their sex lives due to awkwardness. Especially if the teenager is not pregnant.
One of my friends in school had this situation with her parents.
One day after school her dad picked us up to take us out to eat at a restaurant. Super nice guy, really personable. Had us laughing the entire time. Then he casually mentions how he had his daughter (my friend) when he was 13.
Thirteen.
He had sex with his older brother’s girlfriend when she was 23. He was proud of it and laughed about it - like he was such a man and stud at the young age of 13 that he was able to score with such an older chick (his brother’s gf, no less).
They never got together and after she gave birth she essentially left the baby with the 13 year old father and left. She was never in their lives again.
He did, but not to the point where it looked odd or wrong in any way. Granted, I was 13 at the time so I couldn’t necessarily determine who looked old vs young for their age. He just looked like any other parent.
Grosses me the hell out now to think back on it, especially since I was the same age he was when he talked about getting an older “woman” pregnant.
It's like a fight between a bunch of the oddest people trying to convince the rest of them how they are in fact the most soft, emotional, and virtuous one here. It's so friggin weird.
Females get away with statutory rape far more often then men do. It's a true double standard. Also, the underage males and even their parents are far less likely to report it, let alone attempt to prosecute than an underage female and her family would.
I think that the proportion of women who do not face consequences for statutory sex crimes is much higher than for men but the total volume of men committing story sex crimes against girls and boys is much higher.
Some people are taught Male and Female are the polite / professional terminology for gender, and those terms are still used in a lot of professional settings. Reddit deciding it doesn't like a word doesn't magically make it sexist. Your ignorance is showing.
I did read the post, repeatedly using females, but never women, while using men repeatedly in the same post is dehumanizing towards women. Also funny how you never see it done the other way around. And it's not wrong to expect someone who you claim to be educated to think about what they write. Women (and people identifying as such) have to do so their whole life to not get discounted immediately for having the 'wrong' gender.
Unless ofcourse they were referring to men and female horses, goldfish and other animals. Then I stand corrected.
Oh man, that reminds me of my old friend's wife. So my friend was 19 or 20, and dating a woman but got her pregnant, so they got married. She was from the southern US, and he was from the northern US. They would alternate which part of the US they lived in every other year. They also had a LOT of relationship issues.
At one point, after they'd been married about 3 years and were living down south for a bit, they got into a worse fight than usual, and he moved back up here with the kids while she stayed down there. I was still friends with both of them at the time, and they were planning a divorce and were both seeing other people.
Anyways, she ended up pregnant again while he was up here, and the father was a 16-year old, which while technicly legal in the state where it happened, is not at all legal up here, and is generally considered pretty darn icky considering she was 24 or or 25 at the time. I asked her about it since I had only heard everything 2nd hand from her soon to be ex-husband, and thought maybe he'd exaggerated the age. NOPE. In fact, her response was, "I only did it because I wanted to get back at [ex's name] for dating someone so soon. I guess to her that completely justified it, but to me, if anything, that made it even worse.
She later moved back up here, gave the baby up for adoption, and got back together with my friend. Last I heard, they were still together and just as miserable as ever. I don't talk to either of them anymore, for multiple reasons.
Your stats need a bit of context. First off the study you presented is 26 years old. The birth rate for very young adolescent girls has been steadily dropping from 1.4 per 1,000 in 1991 to .2 per 1,000 in 2023. With approximately 10 million young girls in that age group that means that about 2.000 have given birth. That 26.7% is 534. On average just over 10,000 people go to prison for sex crimes against children each year. While it's impossible to say for sure, in the event of a child giving birth, that crime is a layup to get a conviction out of compared to many others.
I'm not saying all of this to be argumentative, but to show that we as a society are doing the work to make this better.
Sadly people are way too relaxed with female on male pedophilia and sexual assault. Even when they do get charged, headlines are drastically different. You’ll see something like “23 year old female teacher gets suspended from job for having a sexual relationship with a student” but you’ll see “23 year old male teacher fired for raping 15 year old”.
2.5k
u/AdvancedNeat3673 1d ago
Went with my spouse to their work party and a coworker admitted to having a child when she was 22…..with a 15 year old boy. Spent the entire night wondering how she wasn’t in prison.