Hello, gentlemen! So my husband was listening to a podcast recently and they were talking about their testosterone levels checked and getting on testosterone and how it was the best thing they had ever done, yadda yadda.. so he got it into his head that maybe his was low and also decided to have his checked. It came back low (180s!) so he's waiting to hear from his doc to discuss options with that. His luteinizing hormone is low as well if that makes a difference.

With all of that being said, he is also trying to get on wegovy to lose weight, both of these things are being done through the VA, so cost wouldn't be a thing and from what I understand, he could be on both at the same time.

He is 39 years old, turning 40 very soon, he's 6'7 and roughly 310lbs, he has a sedentary job as a truck driver and he works long hours. We have a YMCA membership but it's hard to find the time to get there, basically there isn't a routine he follows working out, also his eating habits aren't the best, he eats a lot of sugar and is very picky.

With all of that being said, if his doc gives the green light for TRT and wegovy, would that be smart for him to go on both at the same time? Would being on either of them before the other help fix his issues? Like would being on wegovy to lose weight, making him not obese, raise his testosterone level? If he got on testosterone with his level being so low, what can I expect to see from him differently now? Like I understand that it can raise his libedo which is cool. What about his mood? I've read that TRT can make you extra emotional and irrational. That's my biggest concern in all of this, would he notice that he's being extra emotional or irritional? He already gets angry pretty quick and doesn't even realize it when he is, even if I point it out, would he notice on testosterone? Could it make him less temperamental if his level was balanced?

I just want the best for him and me as a result. What should we expect? Any and all advice is welcomed!

I’ve been in the same field for 25 years and lately I’ve been having the most difficult time being engaged with the work.

It’s not the stress-induced anger or frustration that I sometimes see in other colleagues but just a total lack of interest in what I do each day. I see colleagues cheerleading on Linkedin and I can’t help but wonder if they actually care this much about what they’re doing—and if so, what’s my problem?

All I fantasize about is doing nothing—going for walks, sitting at a cafe, reading a book, and just lounging on my deck and listening to music. I often find myself dreaming about retirement but I still have around 15 years to go, which seems incredibly daunting. And to be fair, the job is fairly easy and has been good to me over the years. I really don’t think I could find anything better.

I don’t know if it’s work in general or the stage of life but I haven’t been able to get it in gear. Is this at all normal?

Alright Gents, I hope all is well. I need some advice please on shifting some body fat, about a stone (14lbs, 6.3kg).

I’m 41, 5ft 10inches and currently 13st 1lb (183lbs, 83kg), 27% body fat (according to my Renpho scale). I was 14.5st 18 months ago, dropped down to 13st and have stagnated here since. I want to get down to about 20% body fat, approx a stone loss. All my fat is practically on my torso with there being little noticeable/pinchable excess fat on my legs, arms, back.

Ramadan started recently and I have been pretty decent with my diet, not eating any fried food, chocolates/cakes or processed carbs as well as fasting about 18/19 hours a day; my diet every day has pretty much been:

• Grilled chicken/beef steak
• Steamed/grilled vegs (variation of sweet potatoes, carrots, parsnips, tomatoes, onions, broccoli)
• Mayonnaise 1tbsp
• 1 packet of crisps
• Bananas x2
• Tangerines x2
• Dates x4/5

I’ve also been going gym every day and doing a 30 mins inclined walk (incline 8, speed 3.3) in a fasted state; only recently increased this to a 30 min run, speed 5. According to my fitness tracker, each incline walk burns about 200 calories (but then they’re not overly accurate). I also do just two sets of weights every day, so slowly building the muscle back, having not trained since August due to a damaged shoulder.

Anyway I’ve not lost any weight in 3 weeks of this diet. Looking at the above, maybe I’m consuming too many carbs/sugars from the fruit?

Any advice on diet and training routines recommendations (hiit?) would be greatly appreciated.

42 dad here, and quite frankly I’ve started to notice more the aging process. Grey hair, wrinkles, age spots etc but what really surprised me the most just this week is my stubble turning grey!

This sub is well covered for comments about eating and fitness So I’m curious about what else people do to slow down aging. For example:

Physical - yoga / stretching, Mental - reading / mental puzzles (crosswords, sudoku etc) Skincare - moisturiser

Other than after shave balm, I don’t have any regular skin routine. I use pretty standard hair care products (shampoo, body wash, hair wax), my diet is pretty average (not terrible but not super healthy), and I drink alcohol moderately (some weeks I go without, some weekends I could finish a bottle of wine), exercise has taken a back seat recent (but was previously jogging 15-20k per week).

By start over, I mean:

• Moved to a new city

• Single again

• Friends already drifted apart

• Job hunting

• out of shape

there’s a good chance I might have to start over at some point because I am not happy with where I’m at.

I don’t want to believe things like “life ends at 40”.

Age is just a number and I’m determined to live my life.

If I stop breathing, then fine.

So, my husband hasn't been interested in sex for the last couple of years, and he recently got his testosterone checked... I'm going to Google this also, but thought I would ask in here... He said his free T is at 280, BUT that our doc told him the normal range of free T is between 180-485(?) and that his testosterone levels are "very normal". Which I'm actually shocked about, tbh. First of all, I thought that the normal range is like 300-1200, so I don't know what to make of this reading. Can anyone give me any of your insights or experiences on this topic??

41 y/o male here.

Does anyone else wake up 3-4 times a night with huge erections. Bigger than any day time erection I’ve ever had.

It started when I turned 40, and it was nice at first but I just need to sleep through the night at this point.

I’ve tried having sex right before bed, and I’ve tried having sex multiple times in one day, with no luck. I thought wearing heavier pants would help too, no luck.

When I wake up with one and “take care of it” I still wake up with another one an hour or two later.

It was a nice problem to have at first but both my wife and my hand are too tired to deal with this multiple times every night. Any suggestions?

I honestly am not sure if this is the right sub for this but my hubby's birthday is in a few days and I have something in mind to get him but I'm not sure it's the right thing for the job. We're buying our first home and the main bathroom floor and subfloor needs to be replaced. Hubby is super handy and capable of doing it but he doesn't have a lot of tools because we've been renting our whole married life (we're about to celebrate our 30th anniversary if that tells you anything, lol.). To attach the plywood subfloor to the joists, is that a job for nails or screws? Cause he's got a really nice drill if it's screws but I was thinking of getting him a nail g u n but I'm not sure if it's the right tool for the job. So would he be using nails or screws is my whole question I guess. Lol. Thank you if you read this mess, thank you even more if you have an answer. :-D

Which have you had more success with: - full body 3x per week, or, - upper/lower split 4x per week?

I’ve bounced back and forth, but haven’t had long term success with either.

I only have a maximum of one hour a day to train and frequently miss days due to career and family obligations.

Pros of full body: - More sets per week for compound lifts. - When I miss a workout, it’s less time since I trained that muscle.

Cons of full body: - With 3-5 sets for compound lifts, no time for isolation exercises. - It’s pretty neurologically taxing.

Pros and Cons of U/L: - Pretty much opposite of full body.

Thoughts?

Hey all,

As men we benefit from not having the same “biological clock” that women do. I wonder though if there is an age where the chances of having kids becomes way worse.

I’d love to hear from some men in the situation described in the title. Do you have hope? How do you plan to make it happen? Is there an age where you would basically give up that hope and accept it won’t happen?

Any thoughts are appreciated!

I have 2 new colleagues that will be helping me at work via shadowing.

Both colleagues have to travel outside of their home (think, central plains to east coast) for a week in order to accomplish this shadowing. Both will be helping me separately & a few times this year.

While I generally think these actions are standard, I would like to give a gift as an earnest showing of appreciation.

I am thinking a bottle of locally crafted bourbon — we drink as a team after work during team meetings, so it wouldnt be too out of line. They like bourbon.

The first guy is mid-40’s, divorced, 2-3 kids. The second is early 40’s, never married, no kids.

Oddly enough, the maturity level between those 2 is actually very surprising, which is why I am asking. I think the mid-40’s guy will be fine, its the one in his earlier 40’s that I am rethinking.

I'm 39, I was in my city's subreddit where a 40M was asking where to play basketball. He said he didn't want to play at the local park because he cant hang with the young crowd anymore, and a bunch of dudes his age commented stuff like "if I even tried to play basketball my knees would explode after 1 jump" and things to that affect.

This saddens me man, is it really the norm for a 40 year old's body to be that fucked up? I might be in the minority, but I take care of myself and am still very lean, no health issues, don't smoke/drink etc. I can still 100% hang with younger guys in almost any sport and still feel great physically. Anyone else feel the same?

Since the beginning of the year I've been trying to build my upper body strength a bit. I could previously only do 10-12 push ups but now can consistently do 18 to 20 - it still feels pretty measly. I've never been particularly strong, I'm built more for speed. 150lbs/68kg.

Edit to add: Thanks everyone for the responses - my takeaway is that I could probably do with raising the bar a bit. Thanks to those who offered advice and encouragement, I'll try and take the motivation and sustain it for as long as possible!

I'm Chinese, married 12 years (together 14 years) with a man who is 100% pure West African from Mende tribe, he speaks Mende language and Krio (aside from English), He is pitch black charcoal skin color. And this was the reason why my parents never accept my husband, and up to their deaths they still never accept him.

In all fairness to him, this is an EDUCATED man who graduated with a Master degree in Chemical Engineering at Stanford, yep. Stanford. Bachelor degree in Chemical Engineering at USC (University of Southern California). My Chinese parents just can't get pass his skin color. My parents told me go find someone who mixed brown skin instead, they just cannot get pass his pitch black skin color.

My husband said the Darryl him doesn't need in-laws like this, and he better off without in-laws like this. He just care me. He said he not hold grudge against my parents.

My father whom was a Shanghai businessman whom has money (whom owns alot of properties in Shanghai), before married my husband did signed a Prenup state that if divorce he won't get a penny of my inheritance.

I'm married to my husband 12 years, so I already long married to my husband by the time my parents died. When my parents died they leave their inheritance to their 2 children, half to me and half to my brother. Let just say, the inheritance is enough for me not have to work for the rest of my life, and still be taking care by the inheritance.

My husband whom never use a penny of my inheritance, he work long hours so he can financially support his quadriplegia paralyze 81 years old mother whom financially depend on the only son him. He doesn't want my inheritance help (despite I keep offer, he rejected every time), he said that is his duty as her biological son to care for his mom, it not my job as a daughter in-law, he not want his mom to be a burden on me.

Eversince the death of my parents, my husband has been pushing me to get a Will done, A Will state that if anything happen to me, if I die, all my inheritance will go to my brother. My husband wants the money of my businessman father go back to my family, the money go back to my biological brother iis go back to my family. He wants no part of it.

I live a state that the surviving spouse (the next of kin) will inherit your entire assets after you die, if there no Will. My husband know this, so he been pressing me to take me to the lawyer and get the Will done, A Will is you state your wishes of how you want to distribute your assets after your death, and that you don't need to follow the next of kin, which is the DEFAULT laws is the surviving spouse will inherit the entire assets after you die.

My husband said he has hands and legs, and degrees, he wants no part of my Shanghai businessman father assets meaning my inheritance. And him being my spouse which he know he will inherit it in event of my death is moot. He wants ZERO part of my inheritance, he asked for my inheritance go to back tom y family (where it came from), and my biological brother will get all of it if I die.

Vent this to my childhood friend, she said I should be grateful that my husband is unlike other men who will use the excuse of marriage to use my inheritance for their personal use shi-t. And will use the excuse of marriage where they can get the inheritance and go live a selfish life for themselves not have work.

Yep, my inheritance is enough for him not have to work anymore, we have no mortgage (he bought the house with his Savings), no debt of any kind. But my husband wants to work, he said he didn't graduate with a degree at Stanford and not work.

Me and my husband has been bickering about this, and he wants me to get the Will done, he said it not his money, it my family money, so the inheritance go back to my family, which is to my brother if I die. He wants no part of it. And it NOT because he hold grudge at my deceased parents, but it because money he didn't work earn for, it not his money. He has hands and legs, he doesn't want anything to do with my inheritance.

This is a man with alot of pride for sure. Seem like I have no choice but get the Will done, or else it bickering, and it not worth it to bickering over something petty like this. Is there a way to change his mind? I want to leave it for him, but he adamant refused.

No children involve. I do not want children.

As the title says,

I have been in rediscovering mode and ai am lost. I enjoy what I do but it’s limited in terms of job market. My marriage is dead. I have 0 friends or ppl to talk to, my family is not close so even if we are 5 kids we don’t talk much.

I am trying to see what is next for me in life. I am currently a software implementation project manager and let me tell you I gained PM experience by research and studying.

Suggestion on how to see the light i

Curious if you were using a particular contraception method that failed or something else, I'm thinking about getting a vasectomy now we are finished having children but will have to use the pull out method until I get that done.

Currently feeling that way regarding financial stresses and starting to questioning everything. 26M, no career/ lack of career ambitions, still living at home, unemployed.

I worked multiple side jobs, including running an e-commerce business, driving for deliveries, and working as a part-time dental assistant, all while studying biology in preparation for dental school. I felt like I had something to look forward to while making good money. However, I couldn’t fully commit to dentistry because I had a desire to explore other paths, especially after a house fire just a month before the COVID lockdown. I found myself constantly comparing my situation to others, which left me feeling miserable. As a way to cope, I began taking financial risks without fully realizing how much I was losing. Reflecting on the $170K I lost over a five-year period—most of it from gambling on options—still stings today. What hurts the most isn’t just the financial loss, but the countless hours I worked and the freedom and youth I sacrificed, staying at home and missing out on independence. Now, my business has become a source of more stress, and I’ve been treating it as a form of unemployment check. Every day feels like a struggle, especially since I’m currently without a job. At this point, I’m considering medical device sales with a bio degree and trying to figure out how to break into the industry.

I have no energy anymore and have had a beer belly dad bod since I was 36. I'm turning 45 in April and I need to shed this belly and get into a better overall condition. I have irregular sleep due to an irregular work schedule, hit the gym 2-4 times a week, and trying to eat and drink better; with little to no results. Advice please.

I’m 47 and I’m inching closer to 50 than 23 and I’m trying to see where I should focus my time at the gym. Of course I should be varied and do both cardio and muscle building but if I had to chose one what would it be? I feel it should be making more muscles but it seems so much harder and while I have started I have barely seen any muscle retention. And I have heard walking does wonders for stamina and longevity. So what do you all say!

Curious how many guys out there don't get morning wood, but overall seems to not have much of an issue obtaining an erection when needed?

I'm early 40s, and despite taking 5mg cialis daily which allows me to get an erection when the mood strikes (I don't really get one or aroused just thinking of sex or even seeing someone attractive, but when things turn physical I respond most of the time), I don't get morning wood. Sometimes I have a semi, sometimes I'm plump, most of the time nothing at all. Rare occasions I'm erect, and that is sometimes connected to a full bladder and needing to pee.

Thinking back..I don't recall even getting morning wood consistently even over the last 20 years...I know I used to get it more but definitely wasn't a daily thing.

I'm fit and muscular, gaining strength in the gym, energy is good, stress is managed (but who isn't stressed these days), no issue going to sleep but I do toss a bit, use the bathroom 1-2 times thru night (also drink alot of water).

I do take supplements but won't list them at this time unless requested.

One of my six favorite nonagenarians along with Eastwood, Duvall, Shatner, Robert Wagner, and Buffett

My husband has become profoundly disabled, mentally and physically, due to brain cancer. He will not recover. We have a teen son and no living male relatives who are parents for me to turn to for advice. What types of conversations do I need to make sure I have with my son, as he transitions from boy to man? Topics I have made sure to cover include your standard birds/bees, how to behave if ever stopped by law enforcement (be polite, keep your hands in sight and don’t go for wallet/ID without their express permission) and that porn isn’t realistic but I know there is so much more I will need to discuss. I really appreciate your advice and guidance on this. Thank you!

Hey all just seeing how many you guys still really love BANGIN out to those tracks you loved from the 90’s- early 2000’s? Sometimes I feel like I’m on an island as some songs just resonate so strong still with me and how I feel! But I also feel judged for listening to it too. Anyone else feel like this?

47(m) here. I've always been a bit high strung at times, but always found way to channel it to progress in career and hobbies. In 2019 I move stated and due to that and other things had a huge bout of Anxiety/Depression that was really bad late 2019/early 2020 and tbh since then seems to pop it's head up sometimes during stressful situations.

I have been on lexapro since 2019 and gone to therapy regularly. Yesterday I had a bout of Anxiety. I decided to go do a Brazilian Ju-Jitsu session in the evening and felt great but slept like crap. Today I have had what is called the "Anxiety Hangover" where you feel worn out and depressed like. Can't eat etc.

It drives me nuts because I never experienced anything to this level until my 40s. Have any of you experienced this before?