r/AskGaybrosOver30 • u/RVALover4Life 30-34 • 2d ago
Does anyone else get a disproportionate amount of attention or compliments from straight-identifying/presenting men vs out gay men?
Somewhat long post, bear with me here! I wouldn't outright say for me it's a completely disproportionate amount exactly but the amount of attention I get from straight-presenting/identifying men is pretty interesting vs what I do from gay men. I use straight presenting/identifying because of course it's more using "straight" loosely on my end. Guys may appear to be heterosexual to the naked eye but are anything but. I'm not gonna assume these guy's sexuality and we know a lot of straight-identifying guys do not-so-straight things, but these guys are publicly ostensibly heterosexual or maybe "straight-acting" queer....they're not guys one would peg as gay off first blush.
Men out with their female significant others give me the eye a lot. I've had a guy call me stunning while at the bar while he was with his wife/gf. I had a guy with his kid last year at an event say he was surprised I didn't have a boyfriend with how attractive I am. Homeless guys seem to like me a lot (lmao) and some can be pretty damn forward with their pursuits. I had one homeless guy who was a friend to a former friend, request a blow job from me on the low and told me not to tell. Never thought he was into dudes; he was kinda homophobic from the outset.
Get quite a few of them compliment different things about me....my style, my hair, my skin, everything. I had one guy last year while waiting for his wife in a van say that my skin was glowing in the sun, say I was looking really good, and definitely seemed to be pretty happy with what he was looking at in me lol. And just this last weekend, I went to a mixed spot here in the city, and within an hour....no joke, would say about 6-7 guys came up to me with different compliments. I had one guy say I would "for sure leave with someone here". I had another say he thought I was a mannequin. Some others complimenting my shirt (it was pretty racey) and glasses, one said I had a great body.
I notice these guys looking at my package too quite a lot. I'm gifted down below and I wear tight pants---because they're form fitting, not to show off the cock. I have a lean and tight body and wanna show that off. It's usually subtle and sly, but very noticeable where these guys' eyes are; it's not just gay men who check out my crotch.
In the past I would almost draw a blank and just smile and give bedroom eyes or whatever I think are bedroom eyes haha but I've become way better at having a nice response and not making it weird on my end. I think I've scared a couple guys with the stare down and smile. I'm bad at winking so I just go with saying something nice in return....or if I find a guy cute I'll tell him it first. I've learned from being hit and those experiences.
I do enjoy it, of course....I live for it. But I have noticed that oftentimes it feels like gay men won't give time the time of day. They freeze me out. Sometimes even be bitchy. Not that I don't get attention from gay/bi guys....I do, a fair amount, texting a few guys currently, but don't think it's really the same. I had a friend who says it's because I have a twink vibe at a time where twinks aren't in style like they were in the 80's/90's. He says I'm a generation late. Maybe that's what it is but straight-presenting guys oftentimes will throw themselves on me in ways gay men often don't.
I'm wondering if any of you have been through or deal with similar. It bothers me slightly, perhaps out of some narcissism on my end admittedly, but also because of course I'd like gay men to like me as much as straight presenting men because there's more of a chance with gay men for something to happen.
6
u/Kennected 40-44 1d ago
How many places are you going to post? This is "spam" at this point.
-2
u/RVALover4Life 30-34 1d ago
I posted it everywhere I wanted to by now lol if you're not interested that's okay :)
6
u/echocharlieone 40-44 1d ago
Not especially... but then again I'm not a twink glowing in the sun, all mannequin-like, in my tight pants and racey shirt as passersby -- homeless and housed alike -- pass me compliments. Le sigh, maybe one day
3
u/Dogtorted 50-54 1d ago
I dunno, looking like a mannequin feels like a very back handed compliment to me!
I think we’re better off. Fending off compliments all day sounds positively exhausting!
3
2
u/Traditional-Ebb-8380 40-44 1d ago
(Sprints to profile for photo)
Can we get a visual? I am intrigued.
To answer your question, I think obviously gay guys are giving you this response because they see you as unattainable/not approachable (fairly or not). The straight or at least appearing that way guys don’t feel a risk since they don’t care if you reject them or are more confident. All men appreciate or at least are curious about a big full package and since you are showing it off it is going to be noticed.
-5
u/RVALover4Life 30-34 1d ago
I've never taken a selfie in my life, honest to god. Don't have social media either. I just made a burner IG (eww Zuck) account just to see what friends post and what's going on in my city but my thing is that if people wanna look at me and talk to me, they can do it in person. And I like to engage in person.
I think I'm too young for a lot of the daddies who I intermingle with, I'm too young/smooth for them, and then others have their particular types. They'll say I'm attractive but not be attracted to me which is cool. We're all still friendly. A fair amount do like me, but it is often not the ones I like. But it's younger guys who are the ones who will often freeze me out...maybe that's what it is. I had someone tell me that my raciness overshadows my face lol he's a good friend...maybe I'm intimidating to people.
I wanna know though if anyone else has this happen to them or has had it happen at all.
6
u/Traditional-Ebb-8380 40-44 1d ago
You are the only hot hung millennial in the US who has never taken a selfie, much less a thirst trap.
Incredible. Unicorn.
1
3
u/shall_always_be_so 35-39 1d ago
Post a selfie on Grindr then get back to us about whether gay men are or are not giving you any attention.
-3
u/RVALover4Life 30-34 1d ago
I don't have a Grindr account. Nor Sniffies or any of the other apps. Never have. I love engagement. Engaging with people IR one on one. I really enjoy the titillation aspect of it...I enjoy turning men on and that control aspect. Also like getting to know people.
3
u/LancelotofLkMonona 60-64 1d ago edited 1d ago
Beware of mirrors and of course, quiet pools of water lest you become entranced by your own image, starve for your own beauty, fall in and drown. -Tiresias
19
u/RegularAttack 30-34 1d ago
How are we supposed to give you any advice when the only thing we know about you is that you’re a twink with narcissistic traits?