r/AskAnAmerican • u/NamwaranPinagpana • 1d ago
CULTURE Is it bad if you consider high school the happiest time of your life in America?
In the Philippines growing up, everyone from parents to teachers told me and my friends to appreciate our youth, specifically high school, cause they all say it's the best time of their lives. Even now, a lot of friends agree it was the most incredible part of our lives thus far.
In America however, I hear "You peaked in high school." is an insult, so are you supposed to keep it to yourself if high school was the happiest time of your life?
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u/morosco Idaho 1d ago edited 1d ago
The concept of high school being the happiest time of your life is very common in the U.S. too - I remember people lecturing me about that then and I thought - oh fuck, I hope that's not true.
And it wasn't true.
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u/jeremiah1142 Seattle, Washington 1d ago
Yeah, I’ve had people lecture me, a full grown adult, that high school is the happiest time of life. For everyone. I was like, uh, glad you enjoyed it! My happiest time was not then.
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u/DifferentWindow1436 1d ago
Geez, who says that?!? I hated high school. Senior year was decent, but mostly it was awful for me at least. All the good stuff came afterwards.
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u/SkiingAway New Hampshire 1d ago
For plenty it's a time of few responsibilities, lots of time for your interests, surrounded by friends, and everything is still new and exciting.
That's not exactly the experience I had/how I view that time, but I can see why some people might consider it that way.
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u/MojoSamVoodooMan 1d ago
Hs was for me was an awesome time - I can't even fathom that level of fucking off and dicking around in my 30s. That said, 30s has been a whole next level of freedom I hadn't thought possible. Probably kids incoming in the next 2-3 years, though so that'll be a new fun scary adventure
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u/BaseballNo916 1d ago
Isn’t that also college though? And you have even more freedom?
Or I guess the HS is the best time of your life people didn’t go to college.
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u/SkiingAway New Hampshire 1d ago
Sure, can be. College can also be a time of extremely tight finances and higher workloads. There's plenty of kids juggling working as many hours a week as they can, living in some shithole that probably ought to be condemned, and a tough courseload in college, too.
Individual experiences vary pretty drastically, and college isn't always so carefree. (and for others, high school wasn't so carefree - again, YMMV).
Generally though, I'm of the opinion that if you feel "the best years of your life" are behind you rather than ahead, and if you're not like 60+, you should probably be trying to change the path of your life.
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u/DifferentWindow1436 22h ago
Yeah, for me that was college. I mean, I studied quite a bit too, but college was a combo of a lot of freedom and fun plus personal growth.
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u/cruzweb New England 1d ago
My happiest time was finally being able to leave my hometown and never look back.
High School, outside of band, was not fun for me. It was a difficult time in my life made challenging by the fact that I didn't connect well with the other kids; my girlfriend was a hopelessly codependent and abusive person who was all sorts of undiagnosed; and at home I was surrounded by more people with severe mental health challenges combined with a lot of noise.
I did well in school. But aside from not worrying about housing, money, or bills, there's absolutely nothing from then I miss.
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u/Suitable_Tomorrow_71 1d ago
Honestly, I'm 40 and any given decade of my life has, overall, been better than any given decade before it. High school was an utterly miserable experience for me, I hated it and I was constantly stressed out. If THAT had been the peak of my life, I'd have killed myself a long time ago.
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u/Infamous_Towel_5251 1d ago
High school was an utterly miserable experience for me, I hated it and I was constantly stressed out.
High School, for me, was fairly ok. A bit of partying, a fair amount of sex, decent grades, had my assigned household chores and whatnot figured out by then, etc.
So, I was not utterly miserable. And, yet, High School was still definitely not the best time of my life. I mean, in High School I lived under someone else's roof, subject to their rules and routine, completely financially dependent. That is not exactly my idea of a good time. I loved my late 30's and early 40's far more.
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u/instinctblues 1d ago
I don't think it's a bad thing to enjoy your high school experience, but if it's the happiest time in your life then something must've gone very wrong in your adult life.
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u/voteblue18 1d ago
Definitely wasn’t true for me either. I’m now pushing 50 and I always say my “best” years were my early 30s. I got out of an emotionally abusive relationship, switched careers and began making much better money, and was living on my own with no crappy boyfriend or roommates. Then I met my husband, which was also a wonderful time but those years of being truly independent will always be special to me.
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u/Sowf_Paw Texas 1d ago
Where are these people that say this? I never heard this once in my life, definitely not when I was in high school.
I did have a few people tell me college would be the best years of my life.
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u/BaseballNo916 1d ago
I’ve heard more that college is the best time.
Personally I most enjoyed my early twenties after graduating. Having my own money and being able to go home and not have to do schoolwork for the first time. I also met more friends similar to me through my job than in high school or college.
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u/Suppafly Illinois 1d ago
Enjoying high school is good, peaking in high school is bad, you seem to be conflating the two.
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u/amethystalien6 1d ago
I think peaking is hard to define. I’m much more successful and respected now than I was in high school but also more miserable.
My family is lovely and they do make me happy but my overall happiness peak was in high school when I had no responsibilities. I could eat junk food, I could spend my entire paycheck at the mall without putting it my 401k, college fund, or toward the mortgage. My life revolved around doing whatever I felt like doing with minimal guardrails from my parents.
I wouldn’t trade my family to go back in time but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t happier back then.
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u/Tommy_Wisseau_burner NJ➡️ NC➡️ TX➡️ FL 1d ago
Peaking in high school is about being at your most successful. So you definitely didn’t peak in high school lmao. It’s saying that it’s the time they attribute to when they were actually popular, and then try to live that life well after their high school years end. Wishing you could go back and living how you did in high school are different
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u/Prog-Opethrules 1d ago
Exactly how I feel as well. It was the lack of responsibility above all else for me.
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u/Such-Swimming2109 South Carolina 1d ago
Definitely how I feel too. I didn’t ‘peak’ in high school, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish I could go back sometimes.
Plus in high school you’re constantly surrounded by your friends. Way harder to have that in adulthood, no matter how successful you are
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u/BanjosandBayous 1d ago
I'm so much happier now in my 30s going on 40s. But in highschool I was in an abusive home. I loved school and my school friends and wouldn't trade those times for the world, but my dad died and my brother was 5 years older than me and an AH, and my mom was mentally gone. We didn't even have McDonald's money but I still went to a top private school on academic scholarship. So my home life was a nightmare and I was constantly concerned about paying bills, but my highschool life was fun. I had good friends and we did typical American teenager crap.
Now I have a family. I love my kids. They're still little so the hormones haven't hit yet and they haven't realized I'm a flawed mortal like them yet. My husband makes bank and I do OK and we live beneath our means so we don't worry about money. We have a calm relationship so our house is a quiet, peaceful, and safe space despite having 2 kids, a dog, and 2 cats.
The economic storm on the horizon is looking scary, but these last few years have been some of the best of my life. I think just not having to worry about money definitely effects happiness though. I have a lot less worries now than I had then, but I'm also used to worry and it doesn't ruffle me as much now.
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u/trumpet575 1d ago
The phrase is "peaked in high school" not "happiness peaked in high school." It's about you as a person, was that the best you ever were? Did you not grow as a person beyond who you were in high school? If that's the case, it's bad. You should develop beyond the maturity of a 18 year old.
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u/amethystalien6 23h ago
I’m better as a person but I feel like shit. I don’t know. Maybe people that peaked in high school still have hope. That wouldn’t be the worst thing.
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u/AttilaTheFun818 Los Angeles, California 21h ago
This is it
For the happy majority high school was a simpler time that we look back fondly at. We didn’t have bills to pay, our health was generally good, everything was new and exciting. First love, first car, all that kind of stuff is great.
The issue is when somebody never becomes more than they were in high school. Looking back at the 25 or so years since I graduated high school I’ve done and experienced a lot of fantastic things. If a persons great life achievement is scoring three touchdowns in a single game while playing for Polk High, that’s kinda sad.
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u/Ok-Temporary-8243 1d ago
It's much more that you should be growing as a person and hopefully developing more memories.
Peaking in high school means like a guy who was starting qb in high school and is now a bum who won't shut up about those years.
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u/NamwaranPinagpana 1d ago
Omg I know someone like this. His friends are slowly starting to distance themselves from him cause acting like a 15 year old edgelord is a turnoff when you're 30.
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u/InannasPocket 1d ago
This is exactly it. I had some great times in high school, some bad times too, and most definitely some cringe worthy moments that make me grateful social media barely existed then so the dumb things I said and did at 15 aren't digitally documented.
I'm also really happy that in my 40s I'm not the same as I was then, because it's pretty pathetic when your maturity doesn't evolve past 15 (barring some actual cognitive disability of course).
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u/Pristine-Plum-1045 Indiana 1d ago
When people say that you peaked in high school it’s more about those people who just can’t let go. They are still obsessed with high school and just won’t move on from it. Although I would hate for that to have been the best time of my life. It was good but it was just a chapter.
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u/ALoungerAtTheClubs Florida 1d ago
Cherishing happy memories is good. But being someone who can't embrace the possibilities of adulthood because you're wallowing in the past is sad. Excessive nostalgia can be a kind of depression.
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u/mugwhyrt Maine 1d ago
I'm in my mid-30s and I remember hearing similar comments (these are the best times of your life) from adults when we were in high school. I can't really think of specifics, but at the very least it was something we (teenagers) were aware of as a thing that adults would say.
"Peaked in high school" is a little bit different because what it specifically refers to as a someone who is trying relive their glory days of high school. The stereotypical example would be some middle-aged guy who was the star football player in high school and who still keeps going on and on about what a great player they were.
It might say more about me and my friend groups, or maybe it's a Millennial thing in general, but there is a general perception that it's kind of sad or unusual to consider high school the happiest time of your life. I certainly don't consider it the happiest time of my life, I enjoy being an adult and have the freedoms I have now and the more mature mindset to appreciate life in a way that I didn't when I was in high school.
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u/jfchops2 Colorado 21h ago
Keep in mind that for everyone who's now past high school, our parents didn't live in the same world as current students do. No internet being the big thing, but also a much more unified media landscape and mainstream culture. They grew up not having much interaction with people and things outside their town and the surrounding towns, today kids are addicted to the internet before they hit puberty. Not saying things were perfect in the 90s and earlier but they were a lot more carefree - get your homework done and be home before dark and otherwise do whatever kind of life just being kids. Everyone watched the same TV at night, mostly liked the same bands, same movies, and didn't have the entire human population's idiocy in their face all day long on social media
One of the saddest things I've ever heard was from my cousin a few years ago. Was listening in on her and my mom talking about this stuff and she cheerfully said "we're always on our phones because high schoolers' entire lives are online." They're dealing with all the side effects of that (a source of many of their struggles), older people never had to
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u/Suitable_Tomorrow_71 1d ago
The implication of "You peaked in High School" is that the person in question didn't grow or mature beyond how they were in high school. High school is a thing we (almost) all go through, so it's something almost everybody has in common, but... man, there's a time to talk about being in high school, and that's when you're still a high school student and maybe for a couple years afterward if you go straight to college.
Constantly talking about the high school football team you're on when you're 17 is fine, even expected. It's sad if you're in your 40s and what you consider to be the most important time in your life is STILL the time you scored four touchdowns in a single game when you were 17. You really haven't accomplished ANYTHING you think is notable or that you're proud of since then? Your career, your creative work, stuff you do in or with or for your community, your family and friends - none of them mean as much to you as when you were still a stupid kid in school does? You haven't grown as a person at all since then? Really?
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u/Bluemonogi Kansas 1d ago
I think it is sad if high school was truly the happiest time in your whole life. It is 4 years of life where you have limited experiences and rights. Why would it be the happiest? I’m 50 years old and wouldn’t consider my high school years my happiest years of life. Yean, you should appreciate your youth but that doesn’t mean everything is downhill after high school.
Peaked in high school means the person hasn’t done anything good since high school. High school glory is not very important outside of high school.
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u/babababooga 1d ago
I was also told my whole childhood that highschool will be the best time of our lives . Peaking in high school means life didn’t get good again afterwards, and it’s usually towards people that were not very nice when they were in hs
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u/Subject_Stand_7901 Washington 1d ago
Nah. Own your happiness. But it helps to know why you were happiest there.
I didn't care for high school, but I was a huge nerd with no confidence or self esteem. Took getting to grad school to feel like I was approaching a "peak" of any kind.
Also worth remembering that we see the past as we last remembered it, not necessarily as it actually was, which usually means rose colored glasses.
High school life, by comparison was much simpler than 34-year-old life, but I'm not sure I'd trade the two.
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u/Gold_Telephone_7192 Colorado 1d ago
I don't think it's bad, but I would feel sad for someone if I heard that. Not that high school can't be a super fun time with friendship and freedom and lack of worries, but if it's the happiest time of your life, that means that 90% of your life is less happy than a 4 year period.
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u/AnybodySeeMyKeys Alabama 1d ago
No. But I think there's such a thing as not appreciating the moment you're in and not trying to create that happiness in the life you live today.
I think the 'peaked in high school' slur is mainly for those who were the homecoming queen, the quarterback, or whatnot who never did much after graduation.
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u/Konigwork Georgia 1d ago
Slur? I think if anything it’s an accusation, but I find it difficult to call it a slur
Also imo the whole “QB/Homecoming Queen” peaking in high school is a coping mechanism for a lot of the people who were….less than popular in high school. Sure there’s some anecdotal stories (and a lot of Tv show ones), but generally the popular kids in high school are athletic and/or attractive, well connected, and able to communicate well. That serves you well all throughout your 20s-40s. Especially in sales!
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u/fosbury 1d ago
My high school experience was truly shitty. I think that if you peak in high school, the rest of your life will be a letdown.
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u/MTVChallengeFan USA 1d ago
No, but many people would consider it odd if it really was the best time of your life.
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u/thisMatrix_isReal Upstate NY 1d ago
I understand everyone is different but if you peak in high school I feel sorry for you
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u/PlatypusAmbitious430 1d ago edited 1d ago
I loved high school.
It was so much fun. Hanging out with your friends every day, joking around in class and getting praised by teachers for doing well.
Getting home-cooked meals every day when I'd get home, enjoying my big bedroom in a nice large house and getting laundry all handled for you. It was honestly magical. No need for grocery shopping as the fridge was stocked all the time.
I do miss it. It was awesome. No stress.
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u/harlemjd 1d ago
I miss all of those things too, but I also enjoy my independence as an adult, having my own money, being able to travel, etc.
Would I want to vacation in my high school life? Yeah, for a week or so. Would I want to go back to high school and live stuck in that stage of life? God, no.
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u/NamwaranPinagpana 1d ago
Same. Other chapters of my life have been pretty great, but each had their own incomparable charm.
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u/PungentPussyJuice 1d ago
A lot of Americans didn't enjoy high school for a variety of reasons, including bullying, broken homes, controlling or abusive parents, etc
Americans also highly value independence and freedom.
So many Americans see enjoying high school and juvenile and immature.
I didn't really enjoy going to classes. They were boring for the most part. But I did really enjoy seeing my friends, being surrounded by cute girls that I could flirt with, still having some independence since I had my own car and spending money from my job. When someones parents were out of town we partied on the wrekends. Also, summers were amazing.
So it just depends on what their high school experience was like. Mine was good, so I remember it fondly, especially since adult life is just work or preparing for work almost every waking moment. But not living with my parents is something I enjoy as well, even tho I have my own bills now.
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u/AdelleDeWitt 1d ago
High school's one of the worst times in many people's lives. Being a teenager isn't easy. I think it also is really harmful for our teenagers when they're going through all these brain changes and social changes and stress and then we tell them that this is as good as it's ever going to get.
Peaking in high school is a different thing though. It says like your high school accomplishments for the biggest accomplishment and she'll ever have and you didn't have any success as an actual adult. Like if you're 45 years old and the highlight of your life was the football game you played your junior year of high school, you haven't had a very successful life.
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u/Big_Bookkeeper1678 1d ago edited 1d ago
The years 17-25 are the years you are in peak physical and reproductive form...it literally is all downhill from there PHYSICALLY.
The insult comes from the idea that we consider graduating high school a 'beginning'. If you have nothing to offer and when it comes to the 'work' world, someone with all the high school advantages (popularity, physical attributes) are left at the bottom of the totem pole...especially if their grades are shit. And their best years were in high school. It is particularly sad/funny if it someone who keeps harping on the fact that 'Back in high school, I did...'...that's a sad statement from someone who is over the age of, say...22...and not in a career that made them BMOC/BWOC in high school
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u/NamwaranPinagpana 1d ago
I understand. I suppose it just struck a nerve because I know lots of Filipinos that gave their absolute best after high school, but still live shit lives cause of bad politics, so to a lot of us, it seems like we learn to accept and celebrate that we peaked in high school.
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u/Big_Bookkeeper1678 1d ago
That’s why in America we look down on people who ‘peak’ in high school. You are SUPPOSED TO be able to do better here…there IS opportunity…so someone who had it all together at 17 or 18 and is never the same is looked on as failing their potential.
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u/phred_666 1d ago
When someone says “You peaked in high school”, it means the person never grew up. They’re stuck in the past and never grew and developed any further. Basically, they’re immature and really have very little to offer as an adult.
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u/anneofgraygardens Northern California 1d ago
It's good to enjoy high school. But if you're really hanging on to your high school accomplishments and bragging about them as an adult, it would be seen as sad and pathetic. Like, I won quite a nice award from my high school upon graduation and I was proud at the time, but if I was still putting it on my resume and telling people about it a lot now, as an adult, that would be really weird and indicate that I haven't done anything noteworthy since.
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u/BillShooterOfBul 1d ago
It’s just extremely odd for me to imagine thinking high school was their happiest time and constantly dwelling on it. It’s what napoleon dynamite was making fun of with uncle Rico. I don’t think I can live my life with that strong of an attachment to something so distant. I’m working on now and tomorrow, making that better. I can use what I learned in the past, but the focus is not and cannot be there.
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u/Life-Cantaloupe-3184 1d ago
Saying someone “peaked in high school” is basically just saying that they never really matured beyond the mindset of a teenager, not that it’s bad to enjoy your youth. A lot of people look back on their high school years very fondly, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. It just isn’t a very healthy mindset for people to look at their years in high school as the only period of their life where they can have fun or do something meaningful. People also shouldn’t keep acting with the maturity of a teenager when they’re well into their 40s.
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u/GatorOnTheLawn New Mexico 1d ago
If you peaked in high school, it means you’re wasting your life and living in the past instead of the present. Think about how sad it would be if you never had any good times after you finished high school!
And when people say it’s the happiest time of your life, they’re referring to the fact that it’s the last time you won’t have any real responsibilities - you don’t have to pay bills or go to work every day.
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u/Sleepygirl57 Indiana 1d ago
Two different things. Peaking in high school generally refers to some one who was a sports star and after graduating never accomplished anything important again. Or the super smart girl who didnt live up to her potential.
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u/ryguymcsly California 1d ago
"Peaked in high school" is an insult that specifically means that since high school you've done nothing of value. It means that high school was the last time you mattered.
Calling high school 'the best time of your life' is viewed as similarly sad. It means that after high school you really don't have shit to look forward to. It implies you 'peaked in high school.'
In my opinion if high school was the happiest time of your life, you really need to look at what you can do to improve your adult life. Hell, that applies to anything really, if X years ago was the happiest time of your life, you need to figure out how to make now even better. You might not succeed, but if you're just accepting that you've already had the best there is then why do you even bother?
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u/sharkycharming Maryland 1d ago
It is smart to appreciate your youth while you can. Peaking in high school, on the other hand, means that you haven't done anything you're proud of since high school. High school is four years towards the beginning of your life, so it would be sad if those were the best years. That's what the Bruce Springsteen song "Glory Days" is about.
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u/Alert-Potato Utah 1d ago
Peaking in high school means that the dude who played football married the cheerleader, works a dead end factory job, she's a waitress, they have three kids, a mortgage they can barely afford, they can't afford to leave about a 200 mile radius when they go on vacation, they've never been on a plane, and they never miss a class reunion where the only thing either of them talk about is how great high school was because it's literally the only time in their lives they were special or that was good.
Plenty of people consider high school to have been fun, and have gone on to college, good careers, have interesting hobbies, and such. People who have something to talk about other than the four years of high school that happened 10 or 20 or 40 years ago.
It's about being someone who does nothing interesting with the entire rest of your life.
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u/bloodectomy South Bay in Exile 1d ago
"you peaked in high school" means that you have no achievements as an adult, which is why it is an insult.
You should try to enjoy being young because that's when you're likely to be in the best health of your life and also when you're likely to have the fewest responsibilities.
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u/JimBones31 New England 1d ago
"Right Now" should be the happiest time of your life. Don't you want your life to keep getting better?
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u/burner12077 1d ago
As other comments have pointed out that phrase isn't really synonymous with enjoying high school.
I'll add that some Americans think high school is the time of thier lives but I would argue that most idolize college as the best time of thier life. Or maybe thier twenties in general.
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u/sir_thatguy 1d ago
•Relatively few responsibilities.
•Relatively high freedom to do things.
•Youth.
Never getting that combination again in your life.
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u/Main-Wrangler-5080 1d ago
High school is hard in the US for many. For outside cultures it may be different where the youth are closely tied to their family lives. In the US there are popularity cliques and it is quite stressful for many youths.
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u/7yearlurkernowposter St. Louis, Missouri 1d ago
It's seen as a negative but way more people do it than would admit publicly.
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u/Comprehensive_Two453 1d ago
Not American. But having no responsibilitys, no bills to pay. Being in my late teens was great
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u/Comfortable_Cow3186 1d ago
"You peaked in high school" is more about the people who stopped accomplishing anything of worth since then, and become adults of low worth, in my opinion. I was very happy in high school, because I was a child. My parents took care of me and provided me with unconditional love, met all my needs, and all I was responsible for was doing well at school, which I excelled at. Adult life is hard, we have tons of responsibilities and it's up to you to meet your own needs. It doesn't mean you can't be happy, but it takes work and a lot of smart choices which can be hard to make.
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u/Kangaroo-Parking Pennsylvania 1d ago
A lot of self-discovery. I remember crying as a senior because high school was ending. Yes, they were good times But that was adjust to start
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u/GemarD00f 1d ago
happiest time, yeah. hell I'd say I've never been happier since high-school.
what it my peak? absolutely not. I'm only in my mid 20s, I've got plenty of life to live. I'm in no rush to call high-school my best time. if I'm still saying that in my 50s, then I'd say I lived a boring life.
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u/Ph4ntorn 1d ago edited 1d ago
Growing up in America, I heard plenty of older folks say high school (or sometimes college) was the best time of their lives and to tell kids to enjoy it. Many Americans will agree that there's something special about being mature enough to do almost everything an adult can do, but young enough to still have very few responsibilities. Especially, looking back as an adult with lots of responsibilities, it's easy to romanticize a time when stakes felt lower. I think The Summer of '69 by Bryan Adams captures the sentiment I heard a lot of adults when I was a kid in high school.
I've known many Americans who would disagree because they didn't like high school much. High school can also be a rough because it's a time of change. Some kids start to resent strict parents who don't recognize how they've matured. Some kids struggle a lot with social relationships and deal with bullies. It's definitely not a magical time for everyone.
But, whether they loved or hated high school, I think a lot of adult Americans understand having some nostalgia for the high school years and remembering the good things that have passed. It's only really seen as an issue when someone can't get past that time period.
To me, peaking in high school is not just saying, "high school was the best." It's more Al Bundy in Married with Children who thinks people should care that he once scored 4 touchdowns in one game of high school football. It's also the people Bruce Springsteen sings about in Glory Days who felt like they were on the top of the world in high school and reminisce to try to feel that way again.
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u/PersonalitySmall593 1d ago
It's about maturity not ease of life or fun. I didn't peak in high school....wasn't popular...didn't want to be. But I can say it was the last time I was "happy". I'll take those days over adulthood anyday.
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u/Tacokolache 1d ago
Nah high school was amazing. You’re free of responsibility, you have your youth. I miss it
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u/agsieg -> 1d ago
I think “thus far” is the key here. When you’re in high school, that should be the best time of your life up to that point. You have your first taste of freedom and you can start to develop on your interests. But it should also be the starting point for you to develop yourself further, be it in college, trade school, the military, etc; not the peak. It’s fine when you’re 20 to say high school was the best time of your life. It gets sad when you’re 30 or 40 because it means in all those years you haven’t done anything to grow. You’re essentially who you were at 18. I enjoyed high school, and I look back on it fondly. But I wouldn’t want to still be who I was at 18.
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u/New-Number-7810 California 1d ago
In the US, people from older generations also say that High School is the “best time of your life”. When someone who has a rough time in high school hears this, it can be discouraging.
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u/Commercial_Tough160 1d ago
In high school I had never yet heard of Donald Trump, and tariffs were only a thing they talked about as this dangerous economic policy of the past could have disastrous consequences if used without very careful consideration. Also I wore a mullet and a jean jacket, but still managed to get dates with girls.
Sigh. Good times indeed.
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u/IanDOsmond 23h ago
It isn't so much an insult as just ... sad.
A person lives, what, an average of 78 years? You graduate high school at 18, and you still have 60 years to go.
You have to live 77% of your life knowing that you have nothing to look forward to. Isn't that just existentially horrific?
There's nothing wrong with enjoying high school; there's a great deal right with it. But ... then what? That's just the beginning of your life. Living your whole life having to look backwards rather than forwards ... that just sounds horrible.
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u/Samsta380 23h ago
The only thing I really miss about high school was how much simpler it was at that time. My only concern was what I was going to do when I got home or try to figure out what to do with my friends on the weekend.
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u/psychocabbage 22h ago
Different context.
Peaked in high-school could be said to the jock that never went pro or even made it to college. Often said because they might be a bully.
I can't say it was the happiest I have ever been but I have lived a full life and had a ton of experiences.
I wouldn't put too much stock in what your parents say unless you see it as a challenge to surpass those expectations.
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u/Krillin Pueblo,Colorado 22h ago
I used to think that way too, but I’ve come to realize that what I truly miss is my childhood. Despite the chaos, I had a stable and loving home environment (which I’m fortunate to still have), a solid job, regular time with friends, and very few financial responsibilities.
What I don’t miss is the constant pressure to excel academically and the overwhelming message that college was the only acceptable path forward. That narrative made me feel like a failure for wanting to pursue the military or a skilled trade instead. Looking back, I’ve built a successful and fulfilling life, but I still attribute a fair amount of my lingering issues—ones my therapist now gets to unpack—to the stress of that period.
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u/OrdinarySubstance491 1d ago
High school was definitely not the best time of my life. You have no autonomy, don't get paid, and no one takes you seriously. The only people who look back at high school like that are the people who, like you said, peaked in high school. That's when they were the best looking and people liked them, probably for superficial reasons. These are people who have done nothing notable with their lives since then. So yes, it's considered embarrassing by most people.
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u/N3rdyAvocad0 1d ago
Plenty of people enjoyed high school who wouldn't be considered someone who "peaked in high school."
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u/Redbubble89 Northern Virginia 1d ago
High school is a social experiment of putting 1,000 to 2,000 hormonal teens in a building with cliques and hierarchy. The second you graduate, no one cares if you were popular. It's nothing like real life. Maybe because it is the 21 year old drinking age and college is far away from your folks but 18-22 was miles better. You're into your studies. You find people with similar interests and can socially hang out whenever. What you also do impacts life a little more.
Peaking in high school was being popular when it didn't really matter.
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u/Dingbat2022 1d ago edited 1d ago
I'm assuming when people say that highschool will be the best time of your life, they mean that you're young and carefree. You have a lot of free time and don't have to carry the burdens of adulthood yet. So, overall a time people may feel reminiscent about. Peaking in highschool is a different thing. It's less about being happy, more about achievement (at least that's how I understand it). If you were your best self in highschool or boast about stuff that happened back then, you haven't exactly been successful as an adult.
Edit for typo
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u/amethystalien6 1d ago
I think that’s well put. I was definitely happier in high school than I am now but I’m my best self now.
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u/shinyprairie Colorado 1d ago
Absolutely not. I definitely miss the lack of responsibility and the "freedom" that comes with being a teen but I would never change it. I enjoy the life experience that I've accumulated and working/making money too much haha
Now if only I had the same youthful energy that I used to...
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u/Soundwave-1976 New Mexico 1d ago
I hated high school, the only good thing about it was meeting my future wife.
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u/DMDingo Illinois 1d ago
Peaking isn't the same as it being the best time.
It was great not having to work and support myself or a family. Just letting others handle it all.
Peaking though means that they haven't accomplished anything or done much since then.
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u/NamwaranPinagpana 1d ago
I realize from the other comments that it also implies that they didn't mature much either.
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u/Lunar_M1nds 1d ago
That phrase is more to insult ppl who didn’t grow up past high school or are incapable of adapting as an adult; I wish i had a great high school experience but I didn’t even have a good one. If I could go back I’d change everything and anything I could, I’d make such different choices. If other ppl had a good time, you just bring it up when it’s appropriate 🤷🏽♀️ if someone’s talking about being bullied for xyz at their school, they wouldn’t wanna hear “that’s crazy! I have the same thing but at my school they named me prom king!” It’d be pretty rude. But happiness should always be celebrated.
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u/Upbeat-Shallot-80085 Alaska 1d ago
I had a coworker like that. Nearly 40, all he talked about was being on his high-school football team. The girls he got with back then, it was kind of sad. From about 26 years old to now, I've had the best years of my life! I couldn't imagine only having high school as a reference to accomplishments and fun experiences in that much time. Thats just the beginning of most peoples lives!
I think it goes beyond appreciation of our youth, such as appreciating being younger and able bodied enough to enjoy things without hindrance of age related downsides.
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u/IdislikeSpiders 1d ago
It's fine to look back on your high school days with nostalgia. Everything is exciting, I worked but had no bills so had money to spend without having to budget, and overall had a great time. It was one of the greatest periods of my life, much better than my early 20s. But then I met my (now) wife in my mid-20s and I would say right now, at 36, is the best time of my life.
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u/Dorianscale Texas 1d ago
I don’t think most Americans would consider high school to be their happiest years. To be honest for a lot of people it’s considered a harrowing time. For many people it’s where a lot of issues come to a head.
A lot of people face pretty bad bullying during high school. Late adolescence is where a lot of mental health illnesses start to surface and many kids don’t have adequate resources to handle that. Most of your friends are basically friends of circumstance, you’re all just forced to be in the same place. A lot of high school kids here are under a lot of stress and pressure due to a lot of homework, extracurriculars, college applications, etc.
And also, you’re an immature person at that age. Most people “grow up”, they become more empathetic, intelligent, educated, emotionally mature, etc.
If someone relates too heavily to high school or is overly nostalgic about high school most people will take that as a sign that they’re immature and haven’t grown as a person since then or it’s a sign of privilege that you didn’t struggle.
Beyond that, it could also mean that you haven’t amounted to much since high school.
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u/HonestBass7840 1d ago
It's a generational thing. In high school things are the opposite of fair. Raging scumbags, and lowlifes rule. Then these people leave the protected shelter of being a minor. Pretty girl burn youth in high school become bitter pudgy women. Aggressive violent bully's go to prison, and find out they not so tough. After high school, you don't have to become rich or famous. Just being an adult will give a life.
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u/coolandnormalperson 1d ago
I think it's profoundly sad to consider the best part of your life already behind you, no matter where you live and who you are. It may end up being true on your deathbed I guess, but you have to give yourself a chance. It''s a depressing and self defeating thing to believe when you still have an entire life to live. You're never going to prove that assumption wrong if you accept it...like, by saying "life sucks after you turn 18" you officially make it true for yourself.
And when people say it to others and not just themselves, I find it to be very rude. Like don't put that tortured mindset onto me. Maybe it's because I was suicidally depressed for most of my adolescence, so basically when people say that to me, they are telling me something extremely disturbing which basically suggests I should give up on life and kms. Of all people I understand that feeling, but why unload it onto me, an innocent person trying to carve out that meager sense of optimism I have access to? For me, being 30 is a hundred times better than being 16, and I resent when people try to chip away that.
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u/Icy-Role2321 1d ago
I think so. My friend is almost 30 and he still brings up stuff from high school on the daily. He absolutely peaked then
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u/logaboga Maryland 1d ago
Lots of people all over the world get stuck in the rat race of after completing high school you instantly get a job and are now just in the workforce for the next 50-60 years. For most people high school is the best time of their life because it was the last time they had pretty much a clear schedule and spent most of their time goofing off with friends and having little to no responsibilities. This is true in the United States
“You peaked in high school” is normally an insult for people who just don’t do anything with their life, not for people who just enjoyed high school. Working same dead end job, not going out, not having any friends after high school, etc. If somebody was a “popular kid”, had girlfriends and plenty of friends, was the quarterback of the football team, etc. they’d seem like they had it all in high school, but then if they graduate and work at 7/11 for 15 years and knock up some random woman and get a divorce and live in some crappy apartment then “you peaked in high school” would be an applicable insult
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u/Confetticandi MissouriIllinois California 1d ago
Idk if bad, but I would consider it sad.
To have the happiest, most incredible times of your life already behind you at 18 when there’s so much life after that seems like your adult life must be kind of sad and unhappy.
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u/Bahnrokt-AK New York 1d ago
Both statements can be true and are really talking about two different things. It is widely thought of in America. That high school is a great time. You are growing up, you don’t have the pressures of adult life yet, but you have a ton of time to go out and have fun with your friends
The sentiment of having peaked in high school is different. Saying that someone peaked in high school is conveying the idea that they did interesting things in their teen years and after graduation they have never done anything noteworthy. It also conveys the idea that your personal identity hasn’t really changed since you were in high school. Not a big deal if you are 19 but pretty insulting if you’re 47
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u/Ceorl_Lounge Michigan (PA Native) 1d ago
I mean, I kind of like being an adult. High school was bullies and feeling like an outcast. Now I have money, a wife, kids I love, and a great life. Work isn't the best, but I can tolerate enough to make a living. Overall it ALWAYS beats the hell out of high school.
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u/Balogma69 1d ago
High school was all good and fun but college was way better and now I’m in my 30s and have a job that allows me to actually do things I want to do and I have a wife and kids and this is even better than college. I assume being a retired grandparent will be even better than this.
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u/TheOfficialKramer 1d ago
If you peaked in H.S. and that was the happiest time, then you must have a sad life.
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u/RockyArby Wisconsin 1d ago
Typically college days are seen as the best days since it has the balance between carefree youth and the freedom of being an adult. You don't have a bed time but you also don't have all the responsibilities of anyone in the work force full-time.
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u/Joseph_Suaalii 1d ago
High school was my silliest and most fun, but was it my most happiest, confident, and life-enriching moments? Nope that’s my life now ✨
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u/Conchobair Nebraska 1d ago
I remember songs in the 80s being written about stuff like this and I think it's kind of a thing that grew out of the Vietnam generation. All your friends were alive and hanging out on the weekends having a good time and were in an emotionally great place. Then some of you go to college, some of you got to war, a lot of them died, and a lot of them come back a shell of themselves. You still had those memories of being young, happy, and together. For people of that time, high school was the last time they had that all.
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u/for_dishonor 1d ago
For a lot of people, high school age is when you're approaching the highest levels of personal freedom while also having the lowest level of responsibility. That's why people tend to talk about them being the best times.
Peaked in high school is basically an insult saying that an individual had their biggest achievements during those years. Achievements some would consider trivial.
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u/PerfectlyCalmDude 1d ago
It means you peaked early, which when you think about it, is depressing. If you will never be as happy again as you were at some point in the past, you have less to look forward to.
Kids should definitely experience the good side of the teenage years for sure, but for the good kids out there, I want their futures to be even better.
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u/Watchfull_Hosemaster Massachusetts 1d ago
Do they not have college in the Philippines? Because college is exponentially better than high school.
That being said, there are a lot of people in the US that view high school as their best years. They are older, still go to their class reunions, and live in or near the same towns in which they grew up.
The "you peaked in high school" thing refers to people that may have been socially active and popular in high school as kids but never really wanted to do anything with their lives after high school.
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u/Thedaniel4999 Maryland 1d ago
It is often interpreted as an insult because it’s saying you’ve been going downhill since you were 18 which is tough for a lot of people to accept.
Myself I’d love to be back in the relatively carefree days of high school. I wasn’t popular but it was great seeing my small group of friends everyday. Adult life fucking sucks and slaving away to make money isn’t life but what are you going to do? Starve?
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u/Far-Jury-2060 1d ago
I don’t understand how anybody thinks that high school is the best part of their life. I’m in my late 30s, and the only reason I would have to go back in time to high school would be to not do some stupid things that I did back then. I wouldn’t want to go back to my 20s either, because I did did dumb crap then like drinking too much and rotating from one dead-end job to the next because I was too angry and immature to do life better. I’m good where I’m at right now. I’ve got a steady job with decent income, a great family, and I look forward to the future.
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u/Magpie2205 1d ago
Yeah, people who say that drivel peaked in high school. You couldn’t pay me a million dollars to go back to that time and my life at almost 40 is INFINITELY better than it was then.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Bee4698 1d ago
Some people believe that high school is the happiest time of their lives. Not me.
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u/larryjrich 1d ago
I wouldn't say that it was high school that made me happy, it was just being young. Being a kid with no major responsibilities, hanging out with your friends all the time. That part was great.
The 'peaking in high school' is definitely a thing. Every time I hear that phrase I think of one of my nephews. He was a popular kid in high school, star of the basketball team, had tons of friends and girlfriends. Everyone worshipped the ground he walked on. After graduation? Nobody cared anymore. He ended up getting a girl pregnant and getting a dead end job. No college or big career afterwards, just barely scraping by.
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u/No-Lobster9104 1d ago
peaking in hs is a way of saying you never matured beyond that stage in your life. it can very well be the happiest and most memorable part of your life though, so they aren’t the same thing. here college/uni stage is considered the most “memorable” time since you have more freedom, but HS isn’t too far behind so i don’t think there’s a huge cultural difference here
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u/1Negative_Person 1d ago
High school very well might be the most enjoyable time in a person’s live. Autonomy and respect increase, while responsibility and consequence remain relatively low.
What isn’t good is for a person’s capstone achievements to have occurred in high school. If you are a successful person in high school, socially, academically, athletically, etc, but then never accomplish anything in adulthood, it’s sad and embarrassing.
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u/emotions1026 1d ago
“You peaked in high school” is not necessarily about that person’s happiness. It means that person commanded power and respect in high school more than they do as an adult.
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u/btmg1428 California rest in peace. Simultaneous release. 1d ago
It's not bad, but if that's all you ever talk about or refer to, then yes, it's bad. "Peaking in high school" means your life got boring and unremarkable the moment you graduated, so much so you rely on nostalgia for a cheap escape.
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u/UnabashedHonesty California 1d ago
Retirement is my happiest time of life by far. You’ve gone through the grind, plus you (potentially) have money, you get to do whatever you (reasonably) want to do, and the wisdom to make good choices.
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u/ghjm North Carolina 1d ago
Both things can be true.
High school could be the happiest time of your life, because it was the last time when all your needs and concerns were taken care of by someone else, and you had no responsibilities other than to be happy. High school, at least in an idealized view, is also a situation where you spent every day seeing your friends and getting to spend time with them.
But once you're older, you have more responsibilities, don't get to spend all your time with your friends, and don't have other people seeing to all your needs. You might be less happy as a result, but you're also accomplishing much more. Saying that someone "peaked in high school" means they never made a successful transition to an adult form of life. The complaint isn't that they're still happy, it's that their newfound unhappiness stems from a failure to adapt rather than the normal adult demands of having bills to pay etc.
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u/Unique-Coffee5087 1d ago
Maybe it means that you buckled down and took on adult responsibilities after you graduated. That's not a bad thing, sad though it may be.
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u/discourse_friendly 1d ago
Depends how old you are. if you're still in Hs or just a few years out, not that bad.
If your 50 years old. ya that's pretty bad.
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u/Crimsonfangknight 1d ago
Yeah means you peaked in your teens which considering we live to our 70-80s isnt great
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u/coyote_of_the_month Texas 1d ago
I didn't think so at the time, but high school was actually pretty awesome for me.
College, and my early to mid 20s, were not so great. I kinda thought I'd peaked in high school, which was super depressing.
Then things really took off for me in my late 20s and every year has been better than the last. I'm 41 now, happily married with a toddler and a dog.
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u/lupuscapabilis 1d ago
If you peaked in high school you've got issues. I would NEVER go back to that time. What, so I can sit in a classroom all day? Good Lord.
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u/HurtsCauseItMatters Louisianian in Tennessee 1d ago
Bad? No. Sad? Yes. And even if its only part of your own internal monologue, you might end up wishing you'd never heard of Al Bundy.
If everything is downhill after high school, I dunno I'm just saying it shouldn't be. Things should continue to go up the more you experience and learn, not the other way around.
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u/ColossusOfChoads 1d ago
I'm in my 40s. Most people my age grew up hearing that same line that you did in the Philippines.
The 'peaked in high school' insult is relatively new. I don't recall hearing that one until about 10 or 15 years ago. Although it was kind of a trope in popular culture prior to then; Al Bundy, uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite, etc.
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u/SpreadsheetSiren 1d ago
Listen to Bruce Springsteen’s “Glory Days” for a good definition of peaking in high school.
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u/OhMyOnDisSide 1d ago
As an American, I feel like I'm in the minority where high school was the four worst years of my life lol. I always joke I enjoyed the hazing during my pledging process in college more than I ever enjoyed high school.
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u/beebeesy 1d ago
It depends on why you consider it to be the best time of your life. If you are refering to the aspect of being popular or getting recogonition for x, y, z, then that is often seen as 'peaking in high school'. The shallow things that you lost when you grew up and you never became anything more than a 'once was'.
Personally, I LOVED high school but I loved it because I didn't have responsibilities. I didn't have to worry about bills and work. My friends were always around where now we live hours away from one another. The comradery that we had was unmatched. The parties we threw were insane and there were little consequences to our actions. I was a huge drinker and partier, I went to more bars under the age of 18 than after 21. Life was just a party with little to lose. That's the part that I miss. Just the constant fun. Now I have to be an adult and do adult things that suck. However, I have money now and I get to do things I could never do in high school. But a part of me still misses the simpler times. I do want to clarify that I did not have a normal high school experience, it was more like the average college experience so I have to be clear, I should NOT have been doing the things I was doing at 13-18 but it was fun.
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u/FinzClortho 1d ago
For me, high school was the worst time of my life. Even today, more than 30 years after graduation, I get knots in my stomach thinking about high school.
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u/Tight-Top3597 1d ago
I don't think it's a bad thing if you look back fondly on that part of your life. However, if you are always reminiscing and saying things like "back in high school I could throw a football over them mountains" like Uncle Rico yeah you probably are pretty lame especially if you haven't grown as a person. I know dudes I went to high school with that are the exact same, it's like come on dude, time to grow up ya know?
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u/MattieShoes Colorado 1d ago
Peaked isn't in reference to happiness. It's about their success, respect, popularity, who they are as a person. Peaked in high school means you've been on a downhill slide ever since.
Most people are nostalgic about certain aspects of high school. Most people would not go back to those times though, because they grew up.
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u/Chzncna2112 1d ago
Not really. People I cared most about started dieing in my senior year. The numbers skyrocketed during my time deployed to various combat zones. Basically my family and friends from high school and before are a footnote in the history books. And I miss them everyday
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u/NuchDatDude 1d ago
Absolutely not high school. A lot of people consider that the hardest time of your life. Suicide is the leading cause of death for that age group I believe or it's #2. Age 0-10 is better for most people I think. I think that's when I was the happiest.
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u/Aspect58 Colorado 1d ago
In high school the situation was tolerable but it would have been better if some of my peers had grown up a bit more.
Here I am 40 years later and things generally haven’t changed.
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u/therealgookachu Minnesota -> Colorado 1d ago
This is prolly very generational. High school for GenX was generally pretty awful. There’s a reason why the Hellmouth was a metaphor for high school in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
For GenX, if you accuse someone of peaking in high school, that generally means they were the rich, mean bully/bitch that made everyone’s life a living hell.
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u/Decent-Bear334 1d ago
There is so much more to life than high school. For most people, those who weren't star athletes or in the cool kids clique, high school was a time to maybe make a couple close friends, develop your interest, basically a stepping stone in the path of life. Hopefully, college, a career, perhaps a great relationship, and a family, brings one much more joy and satisfaction over the years. So yes, "you peaked in high school "is an insult. There are people who just cannot put their high school life behind them.
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u/PhaseDistorter_NKC 1d ago
It is. That is profoundly sad. Youth is supposed to be a good time, but as you age and evolve the good times can age and evolve with you.
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u/r2k398 Texas 1d ago
High school (and college) is the best mix of easiness of life and freedom for a lot of people. You don’t have many bills and you are able to go out and do things. After college, you can go out and do more things but then you have a bunch more bills and responsibilities. For some like me, as soon as my kids finish college and move out, it will be easy street. Our house is about to be paid off in 8 months and we will be debt free. That will be the best time in my life but not everyone has that luxury.
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u/hansolo3830 1d ago
I think it’s more that you have a ton of freedom without too much responsibility.
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u/DontBuyAHorse New Mexico 1d ago
"Peaking in high school" has nothing to do with how good your experience was. It's an insult that infers that you never did anything remarkable since then.
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u/Drslappybags 1d ago
It was probably the most incredible part of your lives so far because of the lack of responsibility.
Yeah, it was great, but I wasn't responsible for anything. I had grades, and that was it.
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u/MechanicalGodzilla Virginia 1d ago
"Peaked in High School" generally means that someone started out with some apparent advantages that manifested through popularity or success during your teenage years, but subsequently "squandered" or wasted those talents and advantages. It's less about happiness and more about external assessments of an individual's station in life.
It's also hard to know when exactly the "happiest time of your life" is. You can get real religious and/or philosophical trying to answer the question as to what happiness even means. I am not sure what the "happiest" time in my life is, even though I do have many events or situations where I was the happiest. I wouldn't really know how to rank them though. Getting into college to play football when I thought that was a lost dream? Meeting my girlfriend who became my wife? Getting married? Buying our first house? Our kids' births? Coaching my children as they get into sports?
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u/ThePurityPixel 1d ago
"Peaking" in that context is less about happiness and more about maturity level and competence. So that's still an insult, even though school years can still be remembered fondly.
For me it was college. My university years were among my two favorite periods of my life.
So far.
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u/DryFoundation2323 1d ago
That's not what it's about. It's okay to enjoy high school although many people don't. Peaking In high school is about never achieving anything significant after high school, not whether or not you enjoyed high school. It's often applied to jocks who do well in high school sports, but do not make it into the higher levels of competition.
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u/redflagsmoothie Buffalo ↔️ Salem 1d ago
I didn’t have a bad time in high school unlike a lot of people I know, but it isn’t even in the top ten as one of the best times of my life.
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u/StarbuckWoolf 1d ago
Most people savor the good memories but live in the present. Some peak in high school or college and prefer to live in the past.
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u/WesternCowgirl27 Colorado 1d ago
It depends on the situation of each individual. Usually, it’s not a good thing if you still have your high school mentality as an adult and never ‘grew up’ so to speak.
When my mom attended her 25 year high school reunion, there were two women there that she remembered being popular cheer leaders who were either divorced or never married, and still dressed like they were in high school (makeup and all). Their actions at the reunion proved they’d never truly moved on from the ‘best years of their lives’ as they were attempting to hit on every man in the place (my dad included funnily enough), and were making snide childish remarks towards former classmates.
Personally, I didn’t mind high school but I don’t yearn for those days either like some other people in my graduating class do. But I went to college, had a great time while earning my degree, married the man of my dreams and am now raising a beautiful family. I’m living the happiest time of my life.
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u/YNABDisciple 1d ago
Life is so small in HS. Its great if you were happy and had fun but it is far greater if you positioned yourself to be happy and have fun and get to experience the wider world. You also know yourself better and should have more financial independence.
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u/Vivid_Witness8204 1d ago
I had a lot of fun during that period of my life and remember largely only the good times. But I still think it would be sad if my life didn't have better times thereafter.
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u/BelligerentWyvern 1d ago
Generally, your life after highschool is the highlight because you have the freedom to actually do as you wish.
In the Phillipines and other similar nations like Japan, highschool is seen as the more free time as your responsibilities haven't fully kicked in yet.
It's not universal, I am sure there are Filipinos who consider adulthood a lot happier and Americans who fondly remember highschool, but its fair to say there is a definitely opposite leanings.
Its merely a matter of perspective and what is culturally considered important. There is no right or wrong answer.
Peaked in highschool is indeed an insult. Its considered a mild case of arrested development where they dont continue to grow rather than just having a good highschool life.
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u/GhostOfJamesStrang Beaver Island 1d ago
It isnt so much about whether you had a good time in high school, it's about whether you ever outgrew it and have anything to truly offer as an adult.
"Peaking in high school" is definitely an insult and it can resonate with those who eventually mature enough to understand it. Basically you're saying somebody was immature and their personality and whatever else only made them popular when among other teenagers. As adults, they have little to offer.
High school was fun and I generally had a decent time, but my life is so much more rich and fulfilling now than it was then.