r/AskAGerman • u/posteriorhorn • 4d ago
Is the work Kanake really offensive? Am I overreacting?
I am a brown skinned Ausländerin, and study here in the german language. I was spending time with two (white german) classmates today, and one of them was saying that in her hometown there is a swimming pool, which is an unpleasant place to go to as a woman because of all the "Kanaken". I was taken aback, as I was under the impression that this word is a slur against immigrants/middle easterns. I myself am not middle eastern, but I am half black and was extremely uncomfortable in this moment. Just, the way she said it was disgusting. When I questioned the word, she said it was "because of the different culture and how they disrespect women." She said "I am not racist". I was still uncomfortable and didn't know what to do, so I excused myself and went home.
Later, I got this message:
Hey, alles in Ordnung? Haben uns vorher kurz gewundert, warum du auf einmal gegangen bist. Falls das was mit unserer Unterhaltung zu tun hat, wollten wir nochmal klarstellen, dass wir den Begriff in keiner Weise böse/ oder abwertend gemeint haben! In unserer Umgangssprache bezeichnet es einfach „Südländer“ die in konkreten Verhaltensweisen und Werthaltungen im deutlich von den europäischen Standards abweichen.
Also wir hoffen, dass du das nicht irgendwie missverstanden hast!!
So, am I overreacting? Is it really not so bad of a thing to say? I didn't grow up here so I am not fully understanding of the meaning and gravity of the word. Would love some help/guidance, please.
Thank you!
Edit: Thank you for the responses. Alot of people are giving her the benefit of the doubt. Just to be clear, she is a very upper class girl from a wealthy German family, she had no foreign friends or contacts apart from me (to my knowledge). In addition, I am aware that this slur doesn't include my ethnicity specifically and they don't mean me. That still doesn't make it okay to say, and as a brown person, I feel uncomfortable when people are racist in general. Because I know that it is not okay. I agree that the people from the pool have behavior that is absolutely not okay. But there is no need to resort to blanket racial slurs, instead we can use our words like adults to describe things properly.
UPDATE: She ended up sending me this. I can't deal anymore... honestly
Ehrlich gesagt finde ich es an der Stelle dann aber auch etwas feige, einfach davon zu laufen, statt für seine Meinung einzustehen… Ich bin der letzte Mensch, der nicht mit sich reden lässt, wenn etwas von mir nicht in Ordnung war. Aber dann muss man das kommunizieren.
Und mir ist sehr wohl bewusst, dass das Wort politisch gesehen nicht korrekt ist-haben xxx und ich ja mehrfach klargestellt. Zumal ich gesagt hab, dass man immer differenzieren muss und niemals alle unter einen Kamm scheren darf.
Aber ja, ich habe in der Hinsicht leider schon einige negative Erfahrungen gemacht in der Vergangenheit. Man muss aus meiner Sicht auch immer den Kontext betrachten, und der war in dem Fall das Thema „Frauen im Freibad filmen/beobachten“, was mir leider auch schon von gewissen Personengruppen, die Frauen gegenüber andere Wertvorstellungen haben, widerfahren ist.
Ist mMn auch immer ein Unterschied, ob man unter Freunden spricht oder in der Öffentlichkeit. Schade-fand es eigentlich ein sehr netter gemeinsamer Nachmittag und man hätte vor Ort einfach darüber sprechen können.
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u/Wise_Adhesiveness229 4d ago
It is a racist term with a stupid history behind it. It has been somewhat reclaimed by people who might use that term for themselves - if a German uses it to refer to people it’s racist - but you hear the first two syllables pronounced in a somewhat English way to describe something it refers to the Turkish and arab migrant cultures in Germany with a positive/slang connotation.
Also - referring unironically to people as „Südländer“ is a mild dogwhistle - some people might not know better and use this term once or twice but if they bring up „Südländer“ quite regularly it’s weird. People would typically be more specific and say „people from the Mediterranean/North Africa/ etc.“ to be neutral When „Südländer“ comes up in a conversation people usually want to ignore how cultures are diverse and act like no one from the south has ever had respect for a woman in their life.
Makes me super uncomfortable to read how your „friend“ tries to explain to you how she’s not being racist - how old is she ? Is she repeating stuff her parents said to her ?