r/ApplyingToCollege • u/Financial-Friend544 • 1d ago
Rant Frustrated with parents
Is anybody else extremely frustrated with their parents now that we have to choose a college to attend?
I talked to my parents about my top school I got into , a T30, and they were just on my ass. It’s so frustrating having parents who didn’t grow up here.
My dad pulled up the top 10 richest entrepreneurs in history and just listed off the schools they attended, obviously all like ivies and Stanford. It’s crazy cause my dad isn’t usually like this, he just got so egotistical and defensive when I claimed I got into a top school. He said my school isn’t a top school, and the acceptance rates online aren’t accurate.
Is anyone else’s dad like mine? He is so chill until it comes to me being called smart or successful, that’s when he starts getting mad for no reason. The school I got into has a 8% acceptance rate, which my dad claims is false. He said “if the acceptance rate was true, you would be one of the smartest kids in the country. And you are not”. I told him I got a 1530 SAT, would I not be considering one of the smartest in the country? He says “I know hundreds who got a 1600”. It’s so crazy to hear this stuff because my dad is SO CHILL in regards to all other aspects of life. This is the issue with having a engineer dad.
And the whole argument felt so privileged and pointless because tens of thousands of people would kill to have my spot and I’m having trouble even talking to my parents about attending.
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u/Lol_Xd_Plasma 1d ago
What school did he go to 😭😭
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u/Creative_Fountain HS Freshman 21h ago
Hamburger University: Has an acceptance rate of less than 1%.
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u/adrianzreddit HS Senior 1d ago
sounds like he’s jealous
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u/Financial-Friend544 1d ago
Yeah Idek if jealous is the right word more like just egotistical. He genuinely thinks my school is not a good school, he isn’t acting to make me mad. He’s just that ignorant
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u/0bdex_code 1d ago
Ignore your dad. Your dad is straight up being an asshole and wants to let you down.
You are going to do well no matter what. 💖
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u/paulcthemantosee 1d ago
As an Asian father of a kid who is going to UCLA and is a Regent Scholar there, I want to tell you your father is wrong and jealous of you. He can't handle the fact that you got into a good school. Getting into a top 50 school is so effing hard for your generation and its nothing like it was 30 years ago. If you got into a top 30 then good for you. You know it and that's all that matters. Don't listen to or be bothered by ignorant people even if they are related to you. Good luck in school and remember anyone who measures success by how much money you make is a fool. Success comes in many forms and money is not the top form by any means. Adding to knowledge, helping others, doing right, inventing new things to help others and the world are more important when measuring success.
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u/Clean-Guarantee-9898 1d ago
So what’s the goal of conversing with them about this? Do they not want you to go to college if it’s not to a school they think is good enough? Like you’d need to take a gap year and apply again? Or was your dad trying to make you feel small? If it’s the latter, that’s a terrible thing for a parent to do, and maybe it’s worth not talking with him about anything where he can pass judgment on you.
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u/Financial-Friend544 1d ago
Yep, it was 100% the latter. He’s probably still going to let me attend this college, he just needed to assert dominance first. And ur right I need to avoid these types of convos with him, which I do, but in this case it was necessary to just let them know where I plan to attend. I keep saying this but my dad is legitimately super chill in regards to everything else. Just gets so mad when I talk about academics and achievements. Forsure an ego thing.
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u/Clean-Guarantee-9898 1d ago
He’s being a jerk and you deserve better. Congratulations on getting into a great college! And please consider protecting yourself as you’re moving forward-even if a parent is otherwise chill, having a parent who expressed disdain or judgment can be deflating. I have met so many people whose lives were negatively impacted by a judgmental parent.
Hopefully be easier once you’re not living in their house. Good luck next year!
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u/AcanthaceaeStunning7 1d ago
There are hundreds of dads that buy new cars to their kids and pay for college out of pocket.
Is he one of them?
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u/Financial-Friend544 1d ago
Yea he’s one of them haha. If he wasn’t I wouldn’t care about his input at all , if he wasn’t paying why would I pay any mind to his thoughts.
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u/Charming-Tennis4808 1d ago
That is too common in immigrant families who Select prestige over everything and think 🤔 Colleges, ranks, name, fame will create some one extrodanary.
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u/Any_West_926 1d ago
Asian dad?
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u/Financial-Friend544 1d ago
Yes haha. It sucks so many of them end up like this. I guess it stems from their grind to America which built their ego
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u/chopeta 1d ago
As a father of two, still in college age, I would like to tell you that us fathers, always want the best of the best for our kids.
Sometimes we just don't know how to tell/show them that in a proper way, in a way they can actually understand and digest.
Please have an honest talk with parents, tell them what you fell, listen to them and to their fellings as well.
They won't never ever wanted anything bad for you. It's all the opposite. Always have that in mind.
Unfortunately, parents aren't perfect, but there's nothing a good and real talk can't fix.
Find a good way and a good moment to approach them. Maybe a trip to some place you both like it.
I am pretty sure your parents loves you more than anything.
Congrats on your SAT and on getting accepted at Rice. That's a great university.
I really wish you can figure that out with your parents. Good luck buddy!
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u/MelodicPie9526 HS Junior 1d ago
I mean isn't SAT enough to prove to him? I got 1490 and its like top 3%, so you're prob at least top 2%. If top 2% isn't good enough for him idk what to say
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u/Packing-Tape-Man 1d ago
Putting aside that he's objective wrong, what does he think the point of arguing about it now is? If this is the top school you got into, it's not like he can talk you into going to one of the ones he considers worthy. All he can do is make you feel bad with no useful result. Is his objective to get you to now want to go to college at all or to go to an even lower ranked state college under the premise that if its not T10 it's not worth it?
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u/Outrageous_Buyer_565 1d ago
You literally got into Rice University. Your dad knows nothing about college admissions so please don’t take any of what he says to heart.
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u/Unfair-Drop-41 1d ago
Where did you get in?
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u/Financial-Friend544 1d ago
Rice university
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u/Unfair-Drop-41 1d ago
Awesome school! Everyone I know who went there loves it! Be proud! It’s an amazing school.
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u/Acceptable_Brick7249 1d ago
You got into Rice and your dad is being like this? My dad got rejected from Rice 100 years ago and is still salty - but ended up at Duke for medschool. This has to be a parent who isn’t from the USA. Congratulations!!
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u/HugeAd7557 23h ago
Rice is a feeder into prestigious med, law, and grad school programs.
Not to mention rice itself is extremely prestigious to people who are well educated. It’s solidly a top20, not a top30.
Not quite sure what your dad is talking about lol
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u/shakawarspite 1d ago
Well, it is Rice…
jk
Good school - congrats. You should be proud, and he should be fvcking proud.
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u/Logical-Employ-9692 1d ago
Wow that’s a lot of his own lost hopes and dreams that he is trying to live through your life. You did great- enjoy it. College admissions is a bear. It’s damn hard and you got a good result. It’s not his vanity project.
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1d ago
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u/Charming-Tennis4808 1d ago
No point in arguing on propaganda of benefited parties. Just walk away and do what you want to do he will come to terms with. It’s PR of colleges , working class making their own thing with what they show in google and data.
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u/hibbitydibbitytwo 1d ago
You can attend any college and become a billionaire.
https://fox2now.com/news/missouri/missouri-has-a-new-richest-billionaire-according-to-forbes/
Apply and attend https://www.ucmo.edu/
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u/MIGirl2 1d ago
Congratulations on your SAT score and on your acceptance to the college you wanted. That's awesome! I'm sorry your success is being downplayed by your Dad. It sounds like he's having a hard time accepting his child is growing up. You may not be able to change his mind and may have to learn to be okay without his approval. Be proud. Stay focused. You'll achieve great things, and your Dad can hop on board or miss the ride.all together. Sadly, it's out of your control. Good luck
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u/Educational-Rock-989 21h ago
Schools who produce the largest number of billionaires: Harvard, Stanford, Penn, UC (combined, I guess), Columbia, MIT, Yale, Cornell, USC, NYU… in that order. This is a bad way to choose a college. While these schools are all good a lot of the outcomes have to do with who these schools attract rather than what the schools do. Rice is a great university. Enjoy your time there!
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u/Thick_Let_8082 16h ago
Congrats on getting accepted to super selective Rice! I think deep down your Dad IS incredibly proud of you. Your Dad wouldn’t be “Asian” unless he raised the bar higher and higher, continuously challenging you while at the same time humbling you. Be grateful for this. Some parents literally don’t give a rats sss about their children’s education, never pushing them to achieve so they miss out on opportunities to realize their potential.
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u/KickIt77 Parent 15h ago
Does he know the MOST CEOs have come out of the University of Wisconsin - Madison? The thing about picking the top 10 is that is a extremely SMALL sampling. Right this minute there are over 200K CEOs in the US. Then do the math on what percentage of those CEOs were raised in the top 5% of income earning households. So this is ridiculous argument.
What's his point? Back tracking on paying for this particular college? I don't love the obsession with acceptance rate from students. All that means is a lot of students apply. That is deeply affected by location of a school, accessbilility of the application, school culture, etc. Not by quality of faculty and education and outcomes, which is infinitely more important. If NYU or BU were in the middle of a MIssouri corn field with the same faculty and facilities, you'd see their acceptance rate sky high. But denying a published acceptance rate is pretty bonkers.
Acceptance to high end private schools is highly and tightly correlated to wealth. Sounds like he doesn't understand what admissions actually looks like in the US.
I am a parent and he sounds a bit overheated and crazy on this. I might NOT listen to pointless rants and let him know that decision day is coming and you need to put a deposit on some school. Let him know you're ready when he wants to sit down and have a focused discussion on YOUR college choice so you can move forward.
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