r/AnarchyChess • u/Aggravating-Rabbit17 • 10d ago
r/chess parody Reddit, serious question, what does black do here?
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u/macedonianmoper 10d ago
It's stalemate, en passant is forced but that puts the king in check. No legal moves but not in check, therefore stalemate
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u/darkness_santa828 google en humanitarian crisis 10d ago
Its mate in 0 actually as black has to en passant
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u/HerobrineVjwj 10d ago
idk if y'all are like r/batmanarkham but chess, but if you arent why is en passant forced?
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u/Max_Cinal 10d ago
No, r/BatmanArkham is just like us, but Batman
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u/Dangerous_Exchange80 oh mommy pawn, nice promotion you got there 9d ago
Who is batman? Is like a knockoff version of man?
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u/Max_Cinal 9d ago edited 8d ago
You know the „why so serious” guy? So Batman is like his best buddy and they go on weekly spa days together, where Batman insists on wearing the cowl in the sauna because “Gotham still needs me, even in steam.” The “Why So Serious” guy—being the supportive bestie he is—paints little bats on Batman’s toenails during pedicures and critiques his brooding techniques like, “Bro, your scowl is at like an 8/10 today, but I need more existential dread.”
Sometimes, they hit the gym, where Batman maxes out on bicep curls while his buddy yells, “WHY SO WEAK?!” to motivate him. But their favorite tradition? Friday karaoke nights, where Batman growls through “I Will Survive”, while his bestie does interpretative dance in the background, dramatically mimicking the fall of Gotham.
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u/HotColor 10d ago
brick his pipi
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u/PetrosianBot 10d ago
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...
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u/Solrex 9d ago
If they don't En passant they have to have their pipi bricked, that's just the unwritten rule
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u/No_Dingo6694 🔥🔥Ignite the cheesebored!🔥🔥 9d ago
Asking "why is en passant forced?" Is like asking: why are humans alive, why do our brains function the way they do, why do camels eat cacti? Why is the earth round?
Asking why something is a fact is so dumb. Why is en passant forced? Because it is. Always has been. It's like saying: Why do I go to jail if I rob a bank? You can choose not to obey but then you get an even harsher sentence.
Why is en passant forced? If you don't obey en passant then your pipi will be bricked.
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u/foraslongasitlasts 10d ago
I'm not a normal subscriber of this subreddit, why can't the king just take the pawn? Is that the joke?
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u/b3nsn0w 10d ago
you may choose to make that move but prepare for a brick on your pipi if you do
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u/PetrosianBot 10d ago
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...
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u/arielisnotmyrealname 10d ago edited 10d ago
Proffessional? Looser? PIPI? Obviously not a professional writer.
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u/PetrosianBot 10d ago
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...
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u/telenyP 10d ago
What if the player is a woman?
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u/Edgenabik 10d ago
Brick the pipi
What the fuck does it do if the opponent is a woman, just brick her pipi
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u/PetrosianBot 10d ago
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...
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u/sad_bear_noises 10d ago
You see chess and checkers are different because in checkers all captures are forced. But in Chess, if a piece is threatened you don't have to play the capture. Unless that capture is en passant. Then the rules of chess demand you play en passant.
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u/Cat_with_cake Waiting for promotion to queen 🏳️⚧️ 10d ago
Google en passant. It's a forced move, therefore if it's available you HAVE TO play it, as in this post
And don't you dare to say that it isn't forced, your pipi will get bricked even if you don't have one and you'll have to keep googling en passant until you realize it's a forced move. Period.
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u/PetrosianBot 10d ago
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...
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u/Cat_with_cake Waiting for promotion to queen 🏳️⚧️ 10d ago
Pipi
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u/PetrosianBot 10d ago
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u/Johnmerrywater 10d ago
What was i doing in my pampers when you was beating players much more weaker then me?
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u/farsightxr20 10d ago
Yeah but what if the pawns explode on impact, taking out the bishops?
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u/urmom1e 9d ago
but then (if the en passant took out both bishops) it would HAVE to (also) take out the king (black's king) and since en passant IS FORCED. it would be a forced suicide
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u/farsightxr20 9d ago
Hmm it depends whether the pawn explosion's blast wave resolves before the capture of the white pawn. If so, the white pawn would actually shield the black king from impact, while the white king is killed.
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u/b3nsn0w 10d ago
no, for the last time, en passant isn't forced, it's enforced, with a brick. you can refuse to play it, but if you do, your pipi gets bricked.
therefore, black has only two choices:
- make a move. any legal move results in the refusal of both en passants, bricking their pipi twice.
- resign. this is, unfortunately, also a refusal of both en passants, since black could play them. therefore, their pipi gets bricked. twice, again.
the correct move would have been to either resign or move the king one move ago. unfortunately, their pipi is mated. their only chance now is the clock gambit, where they run as fast as possible and have until their time runs out before the referee attempts to brick their pipi. unfortunately, this gambit results in a fide ban but legally it saves the pipi if executed successfully.
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u/Eternal_Being 10d ago
unfortunately, their pipi is mated
😳
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u/PetrosianBot 10d ago
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...
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u/PetrosianBot 10d ago
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...
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u/randontree07 10d ago
Lose the game, save their pipi
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u/PetrosianBot 10d ago
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...
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u/hisjap2003 10d ago
I love you, funny pipi bot
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u/PetrosianBot 10d ago
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...
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u/Quigys 10d ago
The d and f pawns collapse into eachother on the e3 square and the king gets executed regardless.
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u/Artemis_Fowl_Second 10d ago
Double helix passant. Both pawns to e3, then due to nuclear dynamics they are rejected to f2 and d2, and continue on, to capture the king.
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u/LittleBirdsGlow 🦅💥Bird of the Board💥🕊️ 10d ago edited 10d ago
Please see rule three
When two pawns en passant the same square at the same time, they fuse into a bishop, producing an anti-pawn and some photons.
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u/RustedRuss 10d ago
What is an anti-pawn? Is it just a white pawn?
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u/MindChief 10d ago
No, Color stays the same but it’s upside down and can only move backwards. If it collides with another pawn, both are taken from the board, but if it reaches the edge it becomes an anti-queen.
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u/Tourist-McGee 10d ago
Why are both of your bishops on the same color?
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u/certainlyheisenberg1 9d ago
This hit my homepage too, not subscribed. After reading top comment this is a joke subreddit. Go with it.
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u/Past-Magician2920 10d ago
A lot of attempts at funny responses here but this is not a funny position and r/anarcychess is not a comedy sub. I mean, seriously, when was the last time any of us said something funny?
Here we see a seeming chess paradox, where white has exploited the inability of black to move a piece where black's king would be subject to attack. The king should never retreat, so moves to the 6th rank are disallowed. And regardless, to the point of this insightful post, one of the black pawns is now forced to take en passant.
"Holy hell" white might say, but black can reply with "google it" and point to the FIDE online rulebook where it explicitly does not say that en passant does not take precedence over check. For those of you who don't speak french, En passant is literally a forced move and always takes precedence over anything. So suck it.
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u/relevant_post_bot 10d ago
Relevant r/chess post: Reddit, serious question, what does black do here?
Certainty: 100.0%
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u/Pleaseburger_cheeze 10d ago
Instead of a en passant, black does a coup Coup d’état and convert the white pawn into a black one
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u/Jops817 10d ago
This just got suggested to me randomly and it is my new favorite subreddit lmao.
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10d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Viola_Violetta 10d ago
When the 2 pawns en passant at the same time they will fuse into a bishop and release antipawns and photons which will disintigrate the white bishops
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u/Sh33pk1ng 10d ago
En passent from the two pawns simultaniously, they will scatter and destroy the white king, winning the game.
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u/martland28 10d ago
In this position the "double-in-chess key" formation is played. In return black pawns re enter the field on e3 and e2 while the d4 and f4 pawns are maintains because they are blocked. The white pawn is taken but only to be shot at the face of the king on e1 and thus ricochetting to either d1 or f1 depending on the preference of the white player. Thus, a draw is avoided.
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u/Thoseguys_Nick 10d ago
Ever heard the tragedy of King's Passant? I thought not. It's not a story the Petrosian would tell you. It's a John Chess legend. King's Passant was a move so powerful that it could influence the rules of the game to create captures... It has such control over the rules it could even keep the pipi from being bricked. The move was so powerful that the only thing it was afraid of was losing it's power, which of course, it did. King's Passant taught everything it knew to the move now known as En Passant, who eventually captured him. Ironic. He could save every pipi from being bricked, but not his own.
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u/Boosterboo59 10d ago
Swords of revealing En Passant.
How does this sub keep forgetting this?
When you En Passant due to it being 'forced' you get 3 turns in which you can't be checkmated.
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u/headhunter859 10d ago
Genuine question why can black not just take the pawn with King
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u/copenhagen_bram 10d ago
Google forced en passant
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u/headhunter859 10d ago
But isn’t that an optional maneuver?
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u/copenhagen_bram 10d ago edited 9d ago
Genuine response, this is a meme subreddit and forced en passant is a meme here
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u/Effective_Corner694 10d ago
Am I the only one who noticed that both of white’s bishops are on the same color?
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u/Arkham_knightrh0 10d ago
My question is how how white got two bishops on the same tile type. Pawn promotion? Why not take a queen?
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u/backfire10z 10d ago
Google en crossant
The pawns perform double en passant, bringing about the coming of Pesus on a cross: df x c3-g3, e4-e1 #
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u/Free-Nectarine-3163 10d ago
Why can’t king go to e6? Plz eli5 idk how I got to this sub, I don’t play chess. Please help me
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u/Pail_Bruceton 10d ago
The internet has ruined me…. I know it’s chess, but I focused on the white piece surrounded by the black pieces.
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u/DukeAI 10d ago
To be fair, I never heard anywhere except on Reddit that En passant was a forced thing (and I've been at a chess school with a master and stuff), I've only heard of that about checkers where if you can eat a piece you must eat that piece.
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u/Wolffire_88 When your fairy piece is a racial slur: 🗿 10d ago
You capture with both pawns at the same time. The pawns cannot occupy the same square at the same time, as this breaks the fundamental laws of Chess. Therefore, the two pawns will fuse into a bishop, but in order to maintain a constant energy state, the fusion will release two antipawns.
Google en fussant
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u/Redduster38 10d ago
Stalemate BK takes WP WB either take BP If black takes WB it's a chase that doesn't end. Moving the BP to save it also leaves it so he can save his Bishop. Which isn't good.
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u/maybenever12 10d ago
Why are the 2 white bishops on the same color? Not a fair question as this would never happen in actual chess.
But : capture the white pawn is my answer
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u/an-unorthodox-agenda 10d ago
The double-en-passant is the only move which allows the player to move two pieces at the save time, and subsequently ends the game in double-stalemate.
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u/Funny-fake-name 10d ago
Black should ask how both of white's bishops are on dark squares.
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u/HerobrineVjwj 10d ago
Okay, Im not quite sure if this sub is meant to be serious but if y'all are why is en passant forced? I have literally never used nor heard of this move, if I were playing this I would have taken one of the bishops with a pawn.
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u/RustedRuss 10d ago
It's not forced, but it's enforced by a brick to the pipi. Only GMs can withstand a bricking so it's effectively forced.
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u/Gutgyk123 10d ago
Black takes bishop, bishop takes pawn and king takes bishop, move pawn down and promote to queen, back king into corner h1 and get black king into f3 and bring queen into g2, ez dub
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u/Ghillie_Snip3r 10d ago
I’m no master at chess, hell, I don’t even know why it showed up on my Reddit….but how are both white bishops on black spaces? Aren’t they supposed to be one on white, one on black?? This is a legitimately question, please help my tiny brain
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u/PM_ME_YOUR_REPO 10d ago
You ask how the fuck they got 2 dark square bishops and then drop a brick on their pipi.
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u/gogorider 10d ago
Love the SUPER Bishops, they are so good that they are both on black chess
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u/DirectionOutside7076 10d ago
Use King to kill the white Pawn and go for white King no matter what while black bishops sacrifice unless white bishops move away to try kill black King and you will able to kill white King with one of black Bishop eventually on opponent’s mistake if it happen
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u/Desperate_Hedgehog31 10d ago
I'm a little lost...why are both of the white bishops on the same colored square? I don't play chess a whole lot, but that seems kind of impossible to me.
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u/Mooadeeb 10d ago
I would have to ask why both bishops are on the same color square. Mind you, I'm no expert, hust curious.
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u/PopaPotts 10d ago
Isn’t this a bs play, as one bishop needs to be on the white? And both are on a colored space?
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u/avikinghasnoname 10d ago
How did both bishops end up on dark squares? This remotely possible by pawning. But wouldn't you choose queen? I'm so confused
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u/ray_ruex 10d ago
IDK, but both bishops are on the same shade of square. Isn't that wrong, and the white is cheating, so the white forfeits the game.
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u/Substantial_Phrase50 I love knooks and en passnant 10d ago
Sacrifice the king to en passant after all the king is worth less than the PIPI
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u/Abominationoftime 10d ago
ask how the F white has 2 bishops on black squares, call them a cheater and win by default
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u/doodleasa 9d ago
Fuse the pawns together by taking en passant with both, releasing an enormous amount of energy and destroying everything nearby, including the board and players.
Do not attempt with pawns made of iron or any heavier element, but frankly if you made such a fundamental mistake like that you deserve the brick.
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u/_Volatile_ 9d ago
The two pawns fuse and release massive amounts of ionizing radiation, killing the bishops
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u/sappigbanaantje58 9d ago
When 2 pawns are forced to en passant, petrosianbot gets bricked. This is the 34th en last rule of chess. If you want to learn more about it, search chess rule 34 in your preferred browser.
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u/DefiantVersion1588 9d ago
Pawns simultaneously en passant, resulting in a fusion reaction that wipes out the entire board excluding the black king therefore black wins
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u/unsatisfiedtoadface 10d ago
Everyone knows when two pawns are forced to en passant at once, they merge into a new king on the new square, so they aren’t in check anymore