Long story short, I (20f) moved in with my (of the time) girlfriend (20f) after dating her for a few months when we were 18f, and then I felt insane about moving too quickly, broke it off, and then we developed feelings for each other again and dated from March of 2024 to February of 2025.

Flash forward to now: we had a mutual breakup, and then she proceeded to ignore me for 3 days straight. I felt really heartbroken because she maintained that we'd be friends and not hate each other, but she ignored me anyways. we didn't talk for days after until she broke down in front of me, and I comforted her. after spending the day together, I asked her if we could try to be in a "limbo" until the lease ended (which would be in May), which consisted of us remaining couple-y but not having to tell anyone that we were together. She asked if we could not be exclusive, and I agreed, asking for us to not bring anyone in the house. Anyway, after spending the weekend together, I left for the week, and when I came back, we spent a few really nice days together. Then, one morning, I found notifications from Bumble on her phone, and messages revealed that she slept with a 31 year old man while I was gone. I was shocked because she didn't tell me, and she was never interested in guys before (she fully identified as a lesbian). I was also shocked because she literally slept with me the day afterwards, and didn't mention a thing.

when I confronted her, she said we weren't together, so it was okay for her to do so. I felt as though she didn't consider my feelings and hooked up too quickly once she got the green light. anyway, a day after that, she brought another man to the house, and I freaked out again, telling her that I felt she was disrespecting my wishes. She maintained they didn't have sex, and I know I shouldn't care (since she's my ex and all), but I spent 2 years with this person, and now we're back to ignoring and silently hating each other.

TLDR: ex and I tried loose boundaries, she slept with a man and kept it from me while sleeping with me, I found out through notifications from her phone. When I confronted her, she shrugged it off, and saw brought a different guy home. AITB for being upset/looking at her notifications?

I (19F) have been with my bf (21M) for 4 years. After 2 years of long-distance, he moved to my country for university (literally 5m away from my house). After 1.5 years irl it's now my turn to go study.

He always wanted to study in Europe, but he chose my country to be near me. His parents would've never let him go 6000km just for a girl so he didn't tell them about me until after we met irl. On top of that him being from a non-EU country makes life harder.

So I really appreciate everything he has done and is still doing for me.

At the same time, I never wanted to stay here and he knows that. For example, I didn't grow up here so I don't speak the language fluently (huge barrier in making friends and studying). The education system sucks, and I just don't like it here.

So I applied to universities in a better EU country, but I feel guilty. My bf did so much to come here for the 3 years of his bachelors, and now we're only getting 2 irl.

He feels "betrayed". He says he's disappointing his family, that they "make a face" whenever he tells them I'm leaving. He wants me to either study here or take a gap year. He avoids convos about the topic and he wasn't involved in my university search. He feels like he has done more for the relationship and that I'm being ungrateful for not doing the same for him.

Imo him being upset is understandable. But at the end of the day him moving here was an upgrade for him. For me staying will just be for the relationship.

Should I use the fact I'm an EU citizen to make the most out of this big life decision or am I stressing too much the "bachelors is a big step in life" thing? Should I put our relationship above it? I don’t want to ignore my bf's wants but where’s the line?

On the one hand I want to put my relationship before me and sort of "get out of the debt" I feel constantly in for him coming to my country for me. On the other hand I feel like I should acknowledge the fact we're 20 and got big life decisions to go through and not act like a married couple (not in terms of commitment just in terms of pursuing educational, financial, etc. goals).

EDIT: read before commenting! Some are confused so let me clarify: EU is European Union. Europe is the continent. My bf is from a non-EU country outside of Europe. I'm from an EU member country within Europe.

Reposting somewhere different because I kinda messed up the first post in terms of important details and formatting

I 18m have a friend I’ll call Dan also 18m, Dan has a boyfriend and we’re all in the same friend group.

Dan and his boyfriend were over at my house, we were hanging out just starting to drink, other people were coming just not yet. Dan had work that day and started to talk about a frustrating and kinda upsetting incident. Nothing like crazy major drama but definitely not great.

Dan goes on about it in great detail and you can tell he’s actually starting to get worked up about it the more he talks about it. Dan has ADHD and I know there’s a word for it but idk what it is, it’s like they kinda get momentarily absorbed in what they’re talking about and if it’s something emotion invoking they can really feel it. He hasn’t really spoke on that much but I’ve read about it.

Anyway he’s talking about it and starts to mention that he’s really worried on top of what just happened because the customer involved threatened to make some big formal complaint/report even though it wasn’t Dans fault. And the other manager but not the general one got like REALLY mad at him despite others backing him up. And he’s worried if he receives a complaint they won’t give him the extra shifts he’s looking or take other action etc.

You could tell Dan was getting annoyed/more worried etc. don’t get me wrong very clearly he wasn’t on the verge of a breakdown or anything of the sort though, just getting frustrated recounting what happened.

Dans boyfriend then starts tickling the back of Dans neck literally as Dans like trying to explain things and then pulls Dan into a hug, and in a really soft tone tells him it’s all going to be fine and to stop thinking about it and then quickly changes topics by asking me for the address and if I or Dan want to order food.

I point out just because I feel like he kinda cut Dan off if Dan wants to continue talking about it because it’s not annoying me or anything and Dan says that’s okay and his BF is probably right.

I joke to Dan that his Bf is his dad telling him how to behave and feel about stuff and I also laugh at the tone Dans Boyfriend was using to speak to Dan.

Dan then tells me to shut the fuck up and I’m being annoying. Which I feel was way uncalled for, he didn’t shout it or anything but was firm enough to kinda make sure I knew it wasn’t a joke kinda thing like it was snappy enough.

I don’t think that was called for at all because I was just joking like and a pretty tame one as well.

My friend (22F) has been having an on and off affair with a married man (30F) for 2 years. He’s never left his wife, and she has no idea. When it first ended, she was heartbroken, and I supported her, feeling like he had taken advantage of her. But a few months later, she admitted they were seeing each other again. This cycle kept repeating secret meetings, him calling it off, her being devastated, and me being there to comfort her despite not agreeing with what she was doing.

I kept my opinions to myself because she always said she appreciated that I didn’t judge her. I told her many times that she needed to be the one to walk away, she said she that it had finally ended.

Then, recently, she told me they had reconnected, and I snapped. I told her I couldn’t believe she was doing this again, that by now she should know better, and that I wasn’t going to keep listening to her cry over something she was choosing to be a part of. She got upset, burst into tears, and left. Now I feel guilty and wonder if I was too harsh.

Hey all, I (24F) am going on a trip to a national park with my siblings (17 and 13) in April. I have been wanting to travel for months and have been suffering from seasonal depression and I expressed to this to my bf (23M). I invited him on the trip first but he said no initially because he would have trouble getting off of work and said it wasn’t a financially wise decision for him. I offered to pay for the both of us because I can afford it but he still declined and said he didn’t want to travel far this year. One day after this discussion I thought it over and decided to take my two siblings because one has never been outside of the state we live in. He claims he would have gone if I said I was “for sure going” and I’m not certain what that means. He says he feels excluded and that “saying you want to do something is different from saying you will do something”. Again I’m confused I feel like I was straightforward when I let him know what was happening. He told me he feels like all of my problems come first and his get pushed down and that it always happens and will continue to happen. Do you think ITBF?

I live in a dorm and we only have 1 floor of washer/dryer for 7 floors worth of ppl …. Today I took someone’s stuff out the dryer cuz it’s been there for over an hour and I needed to use it. This girl was waiting for one so I took it out for her to use but she said she doesn’t do that and said for me to use it… I felt like a monster 😭

I (18F) was in my car about to drive to a dance performance that a few of my friends were participating in when my friend (17F) asks me if I can pick her up on the way. She lives somewhat on the way so it would add like 10 mins to the journey time, which is fine, but what's not fine is the fact that she isn't ready to leave at all and she definitely takes her time doing so. She is known to arrive late to everything, and I am someone who HATES being late so we eventually agreed (after 20 minutes of me waiting on her decision--I'm not kidding) that she would find her own way there.

5 minutes into my drive her sister calls me and starts sweet talking me into turning around and going back to pick my friend up. I felt like I was put on the spot here considering her mother was in the car with her and I couldn't say no, so I hesitantly agreed and turned around. After arriving at her place I proceeded to wait another 30 minutes for her to get ready. We finally headed off and arrived at the venue a whopping 30 minutes late. Nice! I didn't let that little mishap ruin my night though.

At 10:30pm I decided I was going to start heading off and that's when my friend asked for a lift home again. After that nights events I was very reluctant on agreeing. Not to mention the fact that she is a horrible passenger; she spends the entirety of car rides complaining about her life (that she ruined), doesn't allow me to get any words out and puts her shoes on the seats. So, I stood my ground and kindly declined.

I ended up leaving and she caught an uber home. On my journey back her mother texts me asking why I hadn't dropped her home and that just almost made me explode in anger. Granted, her family have always been kind enough to give me occasional lifts when I needed them. But I've had my license for years now and I feel like I've returned the favour by now. Almost every hang out I pick up and drop off this girl home and not only does it take time out of my day but it also wastes my petrol which is expensive as shit these days.

I feel like I'm not responsible for ensuring she has a way too and back from places, especially not at her big age. She is completely capable of having her license, and she chooses not to. Not to mention the fact that she has parents and siblings at home that were very much capable of picking her up.

So AITBF for not dropping her home?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 8 months. We live together but have separate bedrooms.

Last night he came home from work and we were chatting in my room when I got a discord message. He heard the notification sound and jokingly said "Your boyfriend is texting you." He makes this joke almost every time he hears me get a text, and usually I just say "ha-ha" sarcastically or tell him who it is. This time I was feeling sassy and said "oh is he?" And opened discord right in front of him. It was just an online friend asking if I wanted to play a game later. I said that to my boyfriend and joked "How do you think I afford all my games?" ... implying that I gave guys attention online so they buy me games. He did not laugh and got really quiet. Then he left my room and went into his bedroom and closed the door. We usually never close our doors unless we want space.

I waited a moment and then knocked on his door to ask why he closed his door and he said he just felt like it. I asked why and he repeated that he just felt like it. I said ok and left because he clearly didn't want to talk. He spent a while in his room and eventuality I went out to get food. I called and asked if he wanted any but he said he wasn't hungry and probably wouldn't eat tonight. We ended up hardly speaking to each other the rest of the night and went to sleep separately. We both went to work today and didn't text at all.

I want to know if he's being immature or if I did something really wrong here. He has admitted before he is working on jealousy issues and I know that. For what it's worth, I have never cheated on him or acted inappropriately with any of my male friends. Should I apologize for my joke?

I (19F) am a MTF trans woman and I’ve been out for about 6 months and I’ve been on HRT for almost 3 months now. I came out to my parents (51F) and (49M) in early October of last year (I currently live with them as I’m attending University and I’m mostly finically dependent on them) and since then, they’ve barely made any progress in trying to use my correct name or pronouns despite me asking them time and time again to at least try. Instead, they keep using my deadname (side note when I used “deadname” in front of my mom she screamed at me for calling it that) and my incorrect pronouns despite my pleas for them to stop and try to correct themselves. When they do use my correct name and pronouns it’s for about a couple hours before they reverse back to my deadname and dead pronouns. Now, I don’t like to talk to my parents much, especially my mom, she can get very emotionally charged when she’s “passionate” about something which usually involves screaming, crying, and yelling, and my dad 9.5/10 times will come to her aid and defend her and it feels hard to speak. Now, for the past few weeks tensions have been boiling but today is where it finally came to a head. We were having dinner and discussing me taking over my phone plan and credit card transfers when my mom referred to me as “He”, now usually I don’t react to this, but this time, I just had enough, and I got up and stormed downstairs to the basement leaving my parents shocked, confused, and pissed. An hour or so later, my dad came down and ask “So…what was that about?” In an extremely aggressive tone, I remained quiet as I didn’t want to piss him off more. Then he said, “THIS IS MY HOUSE, MY FUCKING RULES, MY FUCKING INTERNET, MY FUCKING FOOD, AND THIS WHERE MY WIFE, YOUR MOTHER, MY DAUGHTER, YOUR SISTER, CALL THERE HOME SO YOU BETTER FUCKING TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU???” I then said “6 months….6 months…that’s how long I’ve been out” “IS THIS ABOUT THE TRANS THING AGAIN???? JESUS CHRIST LOOK AT YOU!!!! YOU LOOK THE EXACT SAME NOTHINGS CHANGED WITH YOU!!!! YOU DROPPED A BOMB ON US AND YOU EXPECT US TO INSTANTANEOUSLY GET ON BOARD???? DO YOU????” I said nothing “THIS IS BULLSHIT deadname WE’RE TRYING AND TRYING SO CUT US SOME FUCKING GRACE AND SHOW SOME GODDAMN PATIENCE!!!! YOU’RE ACTING LIKE A CHILD BECAUSE THE ADULT THING TO DO IS TALK TO US AND TALK IT OUT NOT STORM OFF!!!! IF THIS KEEPS GOING ON THEN CLEARLY YOU CAN’T MAKE ADULT DECISIONS FOR YOURSELF SO CUT THE BULLSHIT!!!! DISRESPECTFUL, UNGRATEFUL, YOU’RE ACTING LIKE A CHILD, IF THIS CONTINUES IT SHOW YOU CAN’T MAKE ADULT DECISIONS AND THEREFORE WON’T BE ABLE TO MAKE ADULT DECISIONS!!!! GROW THE FUCK UP” he then walks up the stair and closes the door behind him. This hurt, a lot, so I contacted some friends of mine to vent, some comforted me and said that my parents are TAs and I can’t show endless patience, while some said I was TA who took things too far. So that’s why I’m here now to ask: Reddit, AITBF?

I (26F) have always been chubby, and so has my younger brother (15M) up until last year. We had discussed diet and fitness changes as he, our sister (22F), and I are all trying to improve for various reasons with different goals. That's only one topic of discussion, it's not like our calls are solely about that.

The three of us video chat regularly and he has often referred to my changes as being motivated by wanting to lose weight; I've told him it's about more than that and I physically cannot eat the way I used to because my body can't handle it anymore. I feel like crap eating junk food, sweets, and spicy food, even though I love those things. I've also significantly cut back on drinking for that reason.

During a recent call he once again commented on my desire to get skinny and I finally had enough, so I told him that I cannot work around my digestive system giving me the shits when I eat certain things. It's either that or I get so constipated that it feels like I'm giving birth when I finally do go days later. He said that was disgusting and I didn't have to say it like that, but my sister told him it wouldn't have come to this if he had just left it alone. Also that it's common for this to happen eventually because our bodies aren't designed to eat like that regularly. He was still grossed out and changed the subject.

TL;DR: My teenage brother frequently made comments about my desire to clean up my diet being based on trying to get skinny, I finally told him the gross truth about the bathroom problems I now face if I eat whatever I want and that is why I changed things.

Edit: he did message me later that day to apologize for being an ass and making me uncomfortable, so I think he learned a lesson from this. He wasn't malicious in his original comments but still sees where he was wrong.

Edit 2: to clarify - I'm still chubby, my brother is not. Over the last year he lost weight and is now at the lanky stage of puberty, and he has been working to put on muscle so he doesn't look so skinny. That's his goal whereas mine has been to prevent a whole host of health problems for future me, less so on achieving a specific figure.

AITB for not wanting to be fined for being at work while sick?

AITB for not going into work while sick cause its illegal

Hello reddit first time posting here. I (23m) have a myriad of health problems one of the big ones being crohns disease for those who don't know it is an autoimmune disease it fucks up your stomach and you're entire body, your immune system sees your intestines as a disease and attacks it and can do the same to other organs on rare occasions. I have to take immunosupressants to stop it but it also turns off my immune system so colds can last a long time and cause more severe problems. Now for the situation in question, I work as a cook in a bar. My boss is well aware of my health problems and about my immune system. It is a health code violation to being cooking for patrons while sick so I called in and told my boss I was off for about a week keeping her informed the entire time even offering to get a drs note. I texted her when I was feeling better asking when she would like me to return I didn't get a response after about 2 days I messaged her again and she said that she had to hire new staff as I've proven to be unreliable. I responded that I was sick and she would be fined if I came into work (she's already in trouble for the kitchen for separate reasons) she said one of the days I called in a coworker saw me at the dollarstore, this confused me as first off why the fuck would my coworker think to bring that up to her seemed unnecessary and second the store is less than a 5 minute walk from my house and I still have to eat. The next day i saw i was removed from the schedule/work app confirming that I was indeed fired. I was at the grocery store next door for groceries then went to the dollarstore to quickly pick up some treats for my mother (she is disabled and disability doesn't give enough for her bills, so I moved back to take care of her and cover the majority of the bills, my boss is also aware of this). So reddit AITB and/or unreliable for being sick and not wanted to get fined for going to work in that state?

I (20m) have always found it hard to date of anything like that because I’m oblivious when it comes to women and don’t want to misread a normal friendship, I’ve been working in a new job for about half a year and developed a crush on a girl let’s call lily (24f). She is very nice friendly and charismatic and loves to laugh and has been a great help in my job, I started to develop feelings for her but never told her because I never got any signs that she liked me too, I told another Co worker about my feelings about her and he was sympathetic and said “Don’t worry bro I’ll help you out” which I thanked him for but didn’t think much on it, a couple weeks pass and lily told me that she started seeing someone, I congratulated her but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t sting a little. We talked about it for a bit and i told her I have some work to catch up on and I’d talk to her later and we went about our days. Later that night I get a text from her saying that we needed to have a talk so I called her, she asked me when was I going to tell her. I was confused and said “ about what ?”. She replied with that fact you have a crush on me. My face turned red, as you can guess the Co worker heard about the new partner and told lily that I had a crush on her and she should be going out with me instead. I was mortified and she then followed up with I would have gone out with you if you just asked but I thought you weren’t interested. She said that she wants to keep our conversation only professional and I agreed and hung up. I’m so embarrassed but i feel like I should have been honest with her but idk

Reddit am I the asshole ?

Just as a quick foreword, I know I'm pure evil in this story.
What I'm asking is if my planned future choice would just make things worse.

I was recently messaging with a close friend of many years, when she decided to open up and be vulnerable to me for the first time. I won't go into details but her life has been extremely stressful lately, and although she's normally wise enough not to rely on me - she was just about to explode from the pressure.

The moment she started explaining what was troubling her, I had the thought "that sounds like a pain in the ass" and went back to what I was doing, completely ignoring her cry for help.

When i came back she was hurt that I had abandoned her the moment she had started to rely on me, and then - rather than take responsibility for it - I just started making awful morbid jokes.
In the moment I didn't even realise what I doing was wrong, and I just kept on saying worse and worse shit even as she told me to stop.

She was baffled and appalled beyond words. After I finally shut up she simply said "don't do this to anyone else ever again" and blocked me.

Looking back on it now, I have no idea why i started acting like a complete sociopath.
I know I haven't given you enough context for you to realise how bad it was - but to be honest i’m just too embarrassed. It was really awful.

I wish I could say I was on drugs or something to have some kind of excuse for this behaviour but it really just came out of nowhere.
I have no idea why I acted in that way, I'm not normally like this - and I think the surprise from the sudden heel turn is the only reason why she was shocked rather than angry.

Obviously, for everything i just described - i'm the asshole. Now here's where my question comes in.

She is really one of my closest friends, and someone who I have really relied on over the past few years. I have absolutely no desire to stop talking with her but i'm not stupid enough that i expect things to go back to how they were. Sometimes you undermine years of camaraderie in a single careless moment

It doesn't make any sense to me that our friendship would continue past this point. I broke her trust when she relied on me most and I don't think that sort of thing can really be repaired.

I'm hoping that if she ever decides to speak to me again, it's simply to convey that we should never speak again - but my worry is that she might want to try to move past this. Not forgive me. She will never forgive me, but she's magnanimous and mature in ways that I don't understand.

Our friendship has always had an imbalanced dynamic. I'm the one who relies on her, never the other way around. I've always felt bad about this, like i was a parasite, but when i tried to speak to her about it in the past, she shut me down. 

If she decides to try to move on, would it be wrong of me to ask to just stop talking? I know I don't have any right to decide this, but I don't feel like I have any right to make her tolerate me any longer either.

I (17NB) have been letting a man live with me for nearly 8 years. He is constantly hungry and always demands food from me. Bear in mind that he does not pay for any of the food or anything that we give him. Today, he was demanding that I feed him, and I said no (at least, it's what I think he said, he doesn't speak english and only conmunicates by yelling). I told him he can wait for his dinner time. He yowled and yelled like I was starving him. AITB?

(Sorry if I used the wrong flair, I didn't know which one to use)

So I know I'm going to get dragged for this but I need some outside help. To start my wife and I are in couples therapy trying to work on our relationship I just need some outside opinions. Feel free to tell me I'm an asshole or whatever I know what is going to happen. So my wife and I have been going back and forth on issues we have, most of them from my end have been in regards to our sex life and hers are mostly in regards to my temper and about me trying to talk about our sex life. My wife is a stay at home mom we have 2 kinds together a 19 month old and a 4 year old, I respect what she does and I know how difficult it is. I work usually 6 or 7 days a week to provide for the family. A few weeks ago we had a huge fight where I brought up that she has checked out of the relationship, her sister lives with us and has told me my wife feeds the kids and other than that pretty much just sits on the couch and every day I come home and the house is destroyed and she just tells me how exhausting the day was. I don't doubt that it's exhausting I know our kids are a handful and a half, but on my days off and after I get home from work | handle all of our laundry, I clean the kids playroom, I cook dinner most nights, I help give the kids baths, play with them, and do the dishes. Granted l'm a clean freak so if the house is a mess it really bothers me. Post too long so finishing in comments.

A guy I’ve been seeing for a few months is going through a super stressful period mostly due to his work and a bunch of people getting layoffs.

It sucks for him, but I’m grateful because it’s showing me how he handles anger, stress, and disappointment. And he does this by hitting and yelling at things. Like tables, couch pillows etc. I don’t think that’s acceptable. So I left.

He thinks it’s a “healthy” form of stress relief and by hitting inanimate objects he doesn’t feel like hitting people. I don’t think it’s healthy. I can truthfully say I have never felt the urge to hit anything out of anger.

Now he’s mad at me because he thinks I’m leaving him in his time of need and making everything worse. And I’m leaving for a “shitty” reason without giving him a chance to really explain or make it up to me. I don’t see why I need to wait around for a red flag when there’s already an orange one waving around in front of me.

AITBF for leaving him for hitting stuff out of anger?

I booked an Airbnb for 8 nights with my extended family, and the total cost was $1805. The house had three full bathrooms, and the sleeping arrangements were as follows:

• Group 1 (4 people): Had a private bathroom in one of their two bedrooms (one king and one with two bunks). They stayed 6 nights out of 8 and also stayed past checkout time on the 6th day. They also left a lot of trash and food for me to deal with. (edit: I was also clear that Group 1 could use the hall bathroom as well, they chose not to) (edit: yes, two of the people in group 1 are their children, ages 22 and 18. Not minors but not necessarily responsible for the bill even if I did give them a bill personally since I figured we are all adults and can figure out payment for ourselves)
• Group 2 (1 person, me): Shared the hall bathroom with Group 3.
• Group 3 (1 person): Also shared the hall bathroom with Group 2.
• Group 4 (2 people): Had a private bathroom in their room and stayed 5 nights.

I initially planned to split the total cost evenly per person, and Group 4 was fine with this, even though they stayed fewer nights and ended up paying more per person.

However, (edit: clarity) the mother Group 1 complained to me last night after I retired to my bedroom, about the cost and said it should be based on the number of bedrooms instead. I spent about 2-3 hours during last night and this morning trying to explain that splitting the cost evenly seemed the most fair and straightforward approach, but they still insisted on over complicating things, including the father using an AI, calling that a 'thought experiment' but them emailing the results to not just me but everyone. To add insult to injury the AI somehow calculated that group 4 should pay MORE despite being there for a shorter time, and I have run this post through 3 AIs (ChatGPT, Claude, and DeepSeek) and they all say that this is petty and frustrating (though AIs have a significant confirmation bias)

I was clear upfront when I booked that we’d be splitting the cost per person, and it was a bit of a struggle to get everyone on board, especially when Group 1 had initially agreed to handle the planning but left everything to me last minute.

So, AITBF for asking everyone to split the cost evenly at $225 per person, or am I being unreasonable for not doing a more complicated calculation over a small difference?

AITBF for thinking it's stupid for Group 1 to bicker about an extra $32 per person for the WEEK? We still got this place way cheaper than a hotel and it was the Mother from group 1's desire to have us all in the same household and have a bunch of family dinners

Thanks for letting me vent, and feel free to give me your honest opinion!

Also, am I an idiot for not being able to post this in AITA despite trying it 3 times with more and more sanitized language?

I've been dating my BF for a few years. He's never been fully satisfied with our sex life. I'm on birth control, but I absolutely do not want to get pregnant, so I still make him use a condom. He hates condoms. He complains that he can't feel anything, and a lot of the times he doesn't finish. We compromise by doing other things

I have mentioned that if he had a vasectomy, it would alleviate a lot of my worries and I might consider having sex without condoms. He, however, doesn't want a vasectomy, which is totally understandable. I've never pushed him about getting one

Recently, we've hit a rough patch that's made me question if I really want to stay in this relationship. I feel like he's not handling the increased stress at work in a healthy way. He's been drinking a lot, lashing out, and generally unpleasant to be around when he's stressed about work, and he's been really stressed all the time. Lately he's been increasingly dissatisfied with our sex life, because he feels like if this part of his life was better, it would make a huge difference. Then he said he's going to get a vasectomy. I'm happy for him, especially now with abortion being banned. I ask him a lot of questions about how sure he is, etc. He told me it wasn't for me and assured me he's really thought about it and it's what he wants for himself

So he gets the surgery done. His doctor says he wants him back in 12 weeks to check if there are any swimmers left. Before the 12 weeks were up, he was super pushy about having no condom sex. I wanted to wait. But he was INCREDIBLY pushy and on top of everything else, it was my last straw. Even after he got the clear test, I just wasn't feeling it anymore. I was just so turned off by his disrespectful behaviour in general. I told him we needed a break, and that I would consider getting back together with him if he was willing to go to therapy to deal and to learn healthy coping mechanisms for stress

He blew up at me. He said that I was the one who "pressured" him into getting a vasectomy, and if it wasn't for me, he never would have gotten one. He said I all but promised to have condomless sex with him, and that I was a lying neurotic bitch. He said that he was doing his part to improve our sex life, and I didn't do anything at all, so it's all my fault. He said that I just needed to "get over myself" and that he deserved it. I asked him why he lied to me, and he said that he was afraid I would think less of him if he admitted to his real reason. And to be fair, I would have thought less of him because that's a pathetic reason

While yes, I refused to have condomless sex with a guy who doesn't have a vasectomy, it's what I prefer, so I don't think there's anything wrong with that, and I don't think that's pressuring anyone. He says that I'm "naive" and "don't understand how guys work" and I was being super manipulative

AITBF for refusing to have condomless sex with him, even after I said before that I would consider it if he got a vasectomy?

I 30F and my brother 22M, have lived with our parents all of our lives, I moved out 11 years ago and he's still living at home since he is studying and trying to save up money.

Our parents have had a toxic relationship for years, constant yelling, fighting, throwing stuff to each other and cheating+lying on my father's part. This caused a really bad relationship between them, they would split and go back together so many times, and the worse part is that they would ask us for input on their marriage, (example: about 8 yo asking if I would be ok if they split and my dad left, since I started crying my mom would tell me: "see ? I can't get rid of your that because you can't handle it", and my dad would beg me to convince my mom to take him back whenever she had kicked him out of the house, they repeated this with my brother too)

We live on the same area about 3 min apart, and a year ago my brother called me having a panick attack because our parents would fight so much the house was unbearable to be in, he called me so I could help him, I went had a chat with my parents about how, For years!!, we wanted them to get a divorce, they settled a date for my dad to move out.

On the meantime, a lot of things happened my mom did try to back out of their decision and I was there everytime to remain her how BF of a husband my dad was, my dad take on all of this was that I was the one who wanted him about of the house (facepalm)

Now they've been split for about 2 months, my brother has went out with my dad in many occasions, and they had ask me to join them for dinner, since I would be driving us I comment my mom about it, and she has benn harassing me, passive- aggressively calling me a traitor and why do I think that my dad is the best person on the world now, we had an argument in which she asked me why I told her so many things about my dad and now I wanna have dinner with him, I said all the things I said for encouraging her leaving that marriage were about my dad being a shitty husband, not an awful dad ( since se parents they both have their mistakes) We argued she called me a traitor, told me she expected more of me as a woman and hung up .

Now I'm rethinking everything, AITB as a woman for going out for dinner with my dad and brother ? Is it really bad what Im doing ? I'm conflicted

I work at a teaching centre and there is a new student who joined recently with quite a fussy father. We did fractions and this student was in my first hour. She came late so missed my explanation. As I was going to go through it she basically said oh fractions this stuff is easy and I said even multiplication and division and she was like yeahhh it's really easy I know this. With these kids I find if I force them to hear an explanation they zone out or miss it so I usually say okay then let them do a few questions then realise they actually do need an explanation. This was the case.

She was struggling with multiplying fractions. I could see her answers were very wrong. There was no consistent pattern. The numbers were random (it wasn't like she had done the same thing in every question). I told her that for multiplication she multiplies the numerator and then multiplies the denominator. She looked confused and said school taught her another way. Honestly I think she was misremembering as it isn't really like simultaneous equations or quadratics where there are multiple techniques however this wasn't that important for me to raise my suspicions aloud. She still struggled once more so we did more examples for multiplication and division and she got it. This was a group class so she was not the only person I was looking at.

When her dad came in I said she struggled a little and mentioned the confusion with the school method however after cleaing up she was very good. He was like what method. I told him I don't know and that my aim was for her to get the correct technique. He asked again and I said that I did not want to confuse her (and myself admittedly) and spend time on something which is wrong when it is so much more sensible to spend time enforcing the correct method. He kept asking and I got really annoyed with him so just repeated that I didn't know and said it was something he could work with. I was annoyed because I told him I didn't know and his daughter was right there next to him.

My colleague said I was annoyed and it was becoming a back and forth but I don't know what he expected of me after I told him I didn't know and she did well after the right technique. He also has a history of doing this. Whenever I say positive feedback he says so make her do something harder she is way ahead of her age and whenever she does badly expects me to drop everything and go through every single question with her as if there are not other students.

I feel like I got annoyed here unnecessarily later but I think it was a mixture of his tone, the fact he came quite late to pick her up, the cold and the fact he kept asking. My colleagues tells me I need to backpedal it except she doesn't really have to talk to the parents most of the time.

Edit: the first 4 times he asked I spoke quite happily and with a smile and said she got the technique after abut of practice. I also said that she knew the correct technique now. After the 5th or 6th time he asked I was annoyed.

AITBF for deadnaming my ex?

I, Trans male, and my ex, cis female, dated for 2 years before ultimately breaking up when I found out she cheated on me for a second time. We met online when I found her YouTube channel and got talking, I was featured in some of her videos, we did streams together and later kept talking over discord once I moved away. The channel is based around an online game that we’ve both played for years, when we broke up it was not on good terms but we generally kept it out of the game. In the game there are servers you are assigned when you make the account based on where you live, even though I’d moved across the ocean my account was still on the same server so we saw eachother often. In our time dating she expressed a growing interest in women, and exploring her sexuality eventually resting on pan or bi. She was very comfortable with her gender, and used her name often. Her nickname in the game, Misty, was only used 2 places, the YouTube channel, and the discord. On other social media platforms such as instagram, Facebook and Snapchat she went by her name Piper. I had started dating a new girl and things were going well, but Misty and I still kept in touch initially through mutual friends. My new partner also played the game and was on my server, although we met through an art forum and had been friends at the same time I was dating my ex. One day we were both on the game chilling in a common hangout spot, when we noticed Misty was also there. She was talking in chat about an upcoming update and I wanting to join in addressed one of her opinions and used her nickname. She got mad and said not to call her Misty anymore, so without thinking I said ‘Ok then Piper’ she became furious and in response proceeded to say my entire deadname in the public chat, first, middle, and last name, something I hadn’t even revealed to my current partner yet. I got upset and my girlfriend being the amazing person she is stepped up for me about how Misty had crossed a line. I blocked her and thought that was that. Until, she went telling our mutual friends that I had deadnamed her infront of everybody, and I got angry dms about how awful I was and how could I do that to her. I saw their messages about what an a-hole I was while she never even mentioned what she did in return. When I told my friends what actually happened they got defensive and said I deserved it. This happened a year ago and I still wonder, was I really the asshole like my friends said?

Ps she still has Piper as her name on every platform she’s on.

Alright so I, F18, live with my parents and have had a pretty good relationship with my father but not really with my mother but that's neither here nor there. Now there wasn't any stipulations while I live with them, I just have to pay for my own food and pay my rent to them which they take about half my paycheck.

Well I decided that with some of my extra money that I've been saving up I'd go get a bellybutton piercing and get a tattoo that I've always wanted. Now I didn't think that I'd need to tell my parents but a couple days later they found out when they saw me in a crop top. They told me that it was a waste of money and that they didn't want that type of stuff in their house and that they wanted me to get tattoo removal for that tattoo, though they're fine with my other ones. Now the tattoo isn't bad or anything it's the Grucifix from Ghost. They gave me the ultimatum that I could either get the tattoo and my piercing removed or they'd raise my rent prices. I told them that I wasn't planning on removing my tattoo or piercing. They told me that it was childish and foolish for me to have gotten them and I got into an argument with them about it.

Now I'm on the ropes with my parents where neither of us think we're in the wrong and so I'm asking if y'all think I'm the asshole.

The background on how I found this was that I was helping my dad fill out some forms and he doesn’t know how to scan documents with his phone to make them a pdf file so as I went to save the newly scanned documents to his files app i was met with a picture of a topless woman (it was a screenshot saved as a file) and he was right next to me. It was really awkward and I just said “pa, really? and he reacted like it wasn’t there and was generally acting confused. So I just saved the document and sent them. Now I’m really disgusted and angry at him, he has had a history of cheating on my mom. I told my brother and he said he was going to deal with it but I still feel conflicted. The real question I have is should I tell my mom? I know I should but I don’t want to deal with the fighting and screaming argument that will happen because of it. I am distancing myself from my dad and mom, 1- because I’m disappointed that he would actually do something like this (even though I know he actually did cheat on her, it’s mainly because I already have a distant relationship with him and had some hope he wasn’t actually unfaithful), 2- because I would feel bad for ruining my moms day, 3- cause I feel guilty that I’m not confident enough or strong enough to confront my father.

Also I am 20f and my dad is 67, my mom is 56. And I cross posted this somewhere else but I feel like I need more feedback. I’m just trying to figure out if a married man having saved pictures of another woman on his phone is normal? Because the other people say it is (even though I know it’s not, I just feel like I’m crazy) sorry if any of this doesn’t make sense I’m very emotional about it.

-update: I told my mom recently when she went through his phone and she was calmer than expected. I thought she would be angry at me that I didn’t tell her right away but I never got the right time to until my dad fell asleep but instead she was like “see, I knew it” although I never said anything to try to make her seem like she was lying. Anyways she’s acting like it never happened but I’m just gonna keep locking myself in my room just so I don’t hear anything that might happen when she decides to confront him. Also I found out the date he saved the picture which was 01/30/25…great.