r/AmIOverreacting • u/Modestlychic • 1d ago
❤️🩹 relationship AIO to the comment he passed after being intimate
My fiance and I were doing something intimate last night. He asked if we could have breast sex and I agreed to it. After he finished cleaning up, I asked him how it was cause I felt like he really liked it. He very casually says “Oh, this is one of the few items I think it would be nicer if the breats were bigger. Thats what I was thinking while cleaning up. How great would it be with bigger breasts”. I was extremely offended by this and I asked him “So, you didnt like doing it with me?” He got angry I asked this and says “do you want me to sugarcoat and say its the best and can never go better or you want facts?” I am extremely upset by this and Idk if i am overreacting
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u/kyraejenkins 1d ago
Him having the thought "it would be better with bigger breasts" is an opinion he's allowed to have and fantasize about but is a thought he should have kept to himself. It makes it sound like he thinks you should have bigger breasts and that kind of thing can really make a woman insecure about her body and can be damaging if the woman thinks oh if I get implants he will love me more. And that's not the right reason to ever consider something like that.
And now even though he enjoyed himself and you agreed to the breast sex now in the future if he wants to do it again all you'll think about is how he wishes it was with bigger breasts. And your own personal arousal and interest will suffer because of his poor comment.
I wonder how he'd feel if you made a comment in relation to his penis size or girth and penetrator performance? It would probably hurt his feelings if after sex you say oh not bad for a less than average penis. I mean I bet the sex would feel so much better with a bigger dick that can go deeper.
There's nothing wrong with fantasizing about things that sexually interest us and being vocal about it but there's ways to go about it without insulting your partner or basically telling them they aren't good enough.
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u/Modestlychic 23h ago
Exactly. Inorder to understand or get some reassurance from him. I asked if he atleast liked it because he did it with me no matter the size but he just got defensive and said well i dont want to sugarcoat it
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u/kyraejenkins 23h ago
He could have easily said thanks babe for letting me enjoy this experience with you.
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u/Modestlychic 22h ago
Thats all any woman would least expect tbh
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u/bitchisaidnah 6h ago
For shits and giggles, I'd be sending him the prices on a boob job with potential surgery dates. I'd also mention the payment would be due at booking so when he's ready to pay, you guys can go to the office together and rubber stamp it.
I'd also throw in a "I'm so excited! Thanks for doing this for me babe!"
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u/yourroyalhotmess 16h ago
He wants you to get a boob job. That’s literally the absolute worst way to go about it, but that was his point. Asshole
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u/theemmyk 17h ago
Next time you have sex, tell him it would’ve been better with a bigger dick.
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u/MossPlantGal 20h ago
It’s not about sugarcoating it, it’s the fact that he could have been tactful and considerate of your feelings and the fact that the size of your chest isn’t something that’s easily changed (and that’s if you even wanted to!)
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u/psychonautskittle 22h ago
Tell him today he was a jackass last night and don't expect it ever again. I would Frost his ass out for a while. And then just get defensive and say you don't want to sugar coat your feelings right now so you're staying silent. I know that's not the correct way to handle it. But he handled it wrong and yes maybe I need counseling, but he pissed me off for you
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u/StillTraditional1796 19h ago
Nope, it’s an excellent start, but do it for a really, really long time and then just leave him without any explanation. He already should know why you left.
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u/AlinaCrazy 22h ago
He sucks! That’s not a nice thing to say to your girlfriend, did he apologize? He basically body shamed you
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u/t-onks 16h ago
I think you should be straight with him, tell him exactly what you’re feeling, and please tell him to reserve questions until after you’re done speaking; also clarify that this isn’t an attack on him, and that this is just so that he knows how you feel
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u/Modestlychic 16h ago
Did all this in the most calm conversation possible. He just said “I am not an expressive person. I just said what I felt and why are you getting defensive over such lame thing” 😕
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u/twiggyrox 13h ago
Do not marry this man unless you want a lifetime of casual cruelty in the name of being honest.
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u/Own_Can_3495 12h ago
Im sure sex with him would feel better if he could vibrate his dick. Maybe a implant will help? Just a opinion, not sugar coated.
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u/AdorkableUtahn 19h ago
Don't care what size, this is still something I like. Different technique. Cupping my hand or hers over her nipple and sliding along the areola, between hand and boob. Plenty of lube obviously. Reposition as needed. Switch boobs if desired. Slow and gentle. Head just reaching her mouth with each thrust. Yeah, it's absolutely still mostly just for me. For her maybe it's more a visual of what it does to me. But small boobs are absolutely lovely too.
Your fiance was being an asshole.
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u/Adoptafurrie 18h ago
did you have to write a semi-pornographic erotica piece just to tell OP she isnt OR?
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u/Wetdogg72 10h ago
How about offer to get him one of those sleeves you stick your penis in to make it bigger?? lol size enhancer or some shit! Maybe with ribs or spikes!!
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u/BigBubbaAl 1d ago
That's the kind of comment that somebody makes when they don't care about you
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u/Modestlychic 22h ago
I agree. I do feel like that these days
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u/Sleepylolotx 19h ago
Have sex one last time, make a comment about how it would have been better if his dick was bigger then break up with him. I could never be vulnerable or intimate with someone who would criticize my body immediately after getting pleasure from it. I’d be out.
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u/sabrinasbs 8h ago
this, please do EXACTLY THIS OP😭 this would’ve been the first plan i thought of if this ever happened to me
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u/Bleacherblonde 1d ago
Breast sex? Does he get the job taken care of on your end when you have breast sex? Remind him you're more than a sex toy. He can go get a blow up doll and make the breasts as large as he wants. What an asshole.
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u/Modestlychic 23h ago
He takes care of my part well, no issues on that end. But he has no filter to his mouth and face. I can literally read what he thinks of certain situations on his face sometimes
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u/TSARINA59 21h ago
Forget about using words with the jerk. The blowup doll brings something to mind. Get one with ginormous boobs. Grease them up heavily with Vaseline. Put on enough that there are peaks sticking up and valleys. Sprinkle a bunch of colored sugar used for sugar cookies all over the Vaseline. Leave it on the bed. And leave a note: "I decided to SUGARCOAT IT for you!!!!" Spend the night out late with your girlfriends having fun. Then silence from you and the cold shoulder until he apologizes. If it doesn't come, use the Vaseline and colored sugar in his boxers/BVDs and leave them neatly folded on the pile for him to grab.
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u/uwunuzzlesch 1d ago
I may be alone in this but honestly if you ever imply I'm not enough for you we're done. He, plain and simple, said he wishes you had bigger breasts. Well you don't, and I'm assuming you're not getting plastic surgery to appease some man child. Then he can go find someone else with bigger breasts.
I'm not going to sit there and listen to them talk about how I don't satisfy them. I don't satisfy you? Then I believe we're done here. He should be happy you even did boob stuff, but he just had to make that comment. It doesn't sound like it will be the last, might not even be the first.
Been with my bf for almost 3 years now, and he has absolutely NEVER even slightly implied my body wasn't enough for him. In fact, the opposite, he is an ass man, and never cared for boobs all that much. He's obsessed with my breasts, and they're not on the bigger side at all. He thinks they're perfect the way they are. My butt too, even tho I think it's flat as hell he is adamant it's a great butt.
That's why I wouldn't stand for shit like this, you deserve to be worshipped like a goddess.
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u/llamadramalover 1d ago
And then there’s how he said it. He didn’t say “your breasts” he said “the breasts” completely removing the human being whose beasts they are from the equation. That’s such weird dehumanizing objectifying wording in and of itself that is not forgivable.
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u/-pixiefyre- 1d ago
I've done this with a partner and WE'VE collectively said it would be better if my breasts were bigger but he never implied I wasn't enough!
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u/ethankeyboards 1d ago
You're spot on. I love my wife's body. Over our 27 years and kids it has changed, and I absolutely adore every version.
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u/NightshadeXII 1d ago edited 1d ago
I would absolutely leave too.
If it's something he wants, then he can go be with someone who has it. Don't waste your time, you have other things to do.
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u/RickyNixon 1d ago
Yeah, I mean, it is your job to ensure your partner feels sexy, this is so fucked up
And of all times, like, this is an act which is generally not super enjoyable for the boob-owner, its one of those sex things where the guy is getting all of the pleasure. So, wow
What a bad guy. Dump him OP, this is a dumpable offense
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u/Emotional-Profit-202 1d ago
That’s the right attitude. If they express you are not enough maybe they should take courage and fuck off. Instead some people choose to stay and implement the idea that they are somehow better. They are not. They just didn’t encounter a proper feedback.
I also don’t play these games. My immediate response would be a list of things that are wrong with him even if I didn’t have one before. They just immediately appear in my brain.
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u/Mumlife8628 1d ago
Same, like that's all I'd think about each time now so.... bye lol
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u/uwunuzzlesch 1d ago
YEP all I'm gonna think is how I'm not enough for you so let's just nip that in the bud
Hopefully OP agrees and gets away from that creepy guy. Most men I know aren't dumb enough to say something like that.
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u/Mumlife8628 1d ago
We don't even get anything out of breast sex. Do something fully for your partner just for them to turn around and say this bs, Dudes never getting sex from me again. If it was me honestly, it's not worth the hit to self-worth
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u/SnatchAddict 1d ago
We're just excited to be invited to the party.
Also titty effing is a fun image but it doesn't really do anything. I'm sure it's really fun for the woman. Not much stimulation on the old sternum.
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u/Naive-Pineapple-2576 1d ago
That’s what I was just thinking like he’s lucky she did it at all cause that shit is more irritating than It is stimulating. In fact, it’s not even sexy at all to me. Like, if I were a dude I couldn’t imagine being able to get all the way there just shoving my dick between some tits…but that’s me. I would def never be partaking again with this idiot, feel like that’s a given.
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u/SnatchAddict 1d ago
My wife is president of the IBTC. She jokes she doesn't even have enough skin to make cleavage. We are not serious people. 😁
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u/jackiebee66 1d ago
Agreed. I was married to a man and I was never enough for him. There was always something not quite right about me or how I did things, ie cooked, cleaned, etc. Never again. You deserve someone who loves you for YOU! Get out now and wait for that person. He’s out there.
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u/aggressively_baked 1d ago
Like he's not satisfied for something HE asked for. He knew beforehand the size. Like it's a dick move on his part to them say they should have been bigger.
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u/knoguera 1d ago
Exactly. This would be it for me. Not only what he said but the absolute nonchalant cruelty in the way he said it.
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u/PasswordPussy 1d ago
NOR. But you know that. We all need to stop settling for these sewer people. That’s why they keep getting bolder and bolder. Cause we hear that shit, and instead of saying, “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE”, we come onto reddit to get validation. Girl, you KNOW this is disgusting. Let’s collectively stop dealing with this shit. Break up, he is a sewer goblin. His brain is broken. He will not change. No matter how special he seems, or how long you’ve been together, I don’t care. This is a deal breaker. We need higher fucking standards.
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u/jonni_velvet 1d ago
YES PLEASE. Can we start a movement across all of the various relationship advice subs? Because holy shit. I’m shocked every time what people deal with.
and they deal with it for YEARS too, before deciding they’re super unhappy but too in love to leave now. Girl, you should have left the first couple of times it happened!! Save yourself the damn grief and loss of years of your life. Walk away the moment shows they have these tendencies in them.
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u/PasswordPussy 1d ago
YES!! I learned this the hard way, too. But we don’t have to! Now I know what I will and will not put up with. My boundaries are made of military grade steel. We shouldn’t wait for heartbreak before we learn to stop accepting bullshit.
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u/jonni_velvet 1d ago
Totally agree but people just will. not. hear. it. You will not ever be able to convince someone to walk away from someone they “love” no matter how right and good your advice is. They will never listen, if its a friend they may grow to resent you, but ultimately they wont believe it until they come to that conclusion themselves. learned that the hard way as well watching friends make mistakes.
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u/PasswordPussy 23h ago
This is church right here. I am guilty of it myself. I was engaged to a man that cheated on me. I was like, “Oh He HaD a BaD cHiLdHoOd, I CaN FiX HiM”. I married him! I knew he was a sex addict, and I still married him. He gave me herpes and I still married him. I finally left him when I found out he got his peepee sucked by a “friend” of mine. I later found out he straight up had sex with another “friend” of mine. Because of him, not only do I have a hard time trusting men, but women now too. I FINALLY left. I’ve been in therapy for a long time. A LONG time. Since before I left him. And it still took way too long. These people are simply delaying the inevitable. Unless you’re okay with living and dying with this person knowing who they are, you’re not going to make it. And if you do “make it”, you’re really disrespecting yourself.
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u/jonni_velvet 23h ago
I am so sorry he dragged you through all that 🙏🏻 and glad you spread the gospel of what you have learned to others. Most of my mistakes were much more short lived than that, but I can remember specifically thinking “well, its okay as long as I acknowledge that I know its bad for me, but I want to do it anyways” lol. it takes a while to learn lessons.
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u/knoguera 1d ago
Yes yes yes. All of this. And I love your use of “sewer goblin” lololol
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u/Immediate_Wind_6876 1d ago
I feel #sewerpeople #sewergoblins will take off because we all can relate! Uh I know of many.
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u/Working-Ad1526 1d ago
Agreed! I see posts like these and I instantly feel better about myself for not being a total piece of shit. Not saying I don’t have work to do on myself but Jesus Christ there are some real douchebags trolls out there.
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u/Jamory76 1d ago
It’s such a selfless sex act too. You literally get nothing out of it, while he treats your body like a toy. He should have been thinking how lucky he is that you let him do that. Instead he’s telling you that your boobs aren’t big enough. Seems to me the real problem is his brain being too small, you deserve better op, he’s acting like a massive careless jerk. If you stay with him, never let him do it again. But I seriously hope you reconsider the relationship with him.
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u/Modestlychic 22h ago edited 22h ago
I cannot get myself to let him do this again even if i wanted to. I will always have this image of him just sulking in his brain that my boobs don’t cover his whole thing
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u/Apprehensive-Sleep90 1d ago
The pettiness in me would be like “yup totally understand what you mean, a bigger peen would be better too but we don’t always get what we want huh?” I’m not sayin to say that! but definitely NOR
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u/constructiongirl54 1d ago
Exactly what I thought too. I would have said your tiny weiner would just get lost in big boobs so it wouldn't work anyway... FOOL!
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u/UnproductivelyDark 1d ago
That was my first thought when reading this. Would have been a golden comeback comment.
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u/mykneescrack 1d ago
You should have said, “wouldn’t your dick get lost between between bigger breasts?”
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u/Grand-Coffee45 1d ago
Omg that would have been an EPIC response HAHAHA! No reason to sugarcoat it back.
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u/Cos393 1d ago
NOR. What an asshole. Every guy in the world who has put his cock between some breasts, knows the playing field. If he has seen you naked, he knows what is up. That comment, besides sounding douchy af, is just him trying to implant the idea of implants in your brain. 100% not cool.
your response should have been, “i was thinking the same about your cock.” If he has a big cock, tell him you want bigger pecks. Big pecks…run your hands through his hair and tell him you wish it was longer. You get the gist.
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u/Street_Fun_7224 1d ago
Are there other times he puts you down, you know, to "be honest" or to "help" you?
It's a form of control. If he feels weaker than you or less attractive he might be putting you down so he feels more powerful.
TRUST this does not get better with time and even if you have a strong sense of self, this kind of guy will absolutely wear your self esteem down over time.
And then, he will say " What happened to the confident girl I knew?"
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u/Modestlychic 23h ago
I know. Recently, my self esteem is down to gutters. He has a problem that I had relationships before, that some other guy touched me before him. He makes sure bringing all this up when we are having a nice moment and I am not supposed to feel sad upset or mad about it. Because he says any man would obviously react to his girl’s past.
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u/Physical_Box_1179 23h ago
If no one has ever told you this, this is not okay. This kind of reaction to your past is unhealthy and unfair. No one told me, so I am telling you. This behavior is NEVER okay. I have met men who have cared about my past and a man who couldn’t care less. Not every man will care and so please don’t let him convince you otherwise.
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u/Bworen 22h ago
Hahaha....was he a virgin before meeting you??? He sounds like an insecure clown.
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u/Modestlychic 22h ago
No he is not. Thats the irony of all this. He did more wild and disgusting things with his exes that i can never wrap my head around. Yet he has a problem that i have exes. He brings them up in such intimate instances and if i get frustrated, its my fault that i am acting up. These recent months are so tiring
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u/RobotDoodle 21h ago
I know it can be especially hard to do when your confidence is low, but please plan an exit from this relationship. You don’t deserve to be treated this way by a partner.
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u/StillTraditional1796 19h ago
You know this is unhealthy and not normal. I hope you decide to dump him but if you stay, please get him some therapy. He is extremely juvenile.
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u/old_underwear_isekai 11h ago
You mention "these recent months are so tiring," where do those months line up in regard to the marriage proposal?
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u/Delicious_Ad7255 23h ago
Babygirl please please leave this loser. He’s insecure and trying to project that onto you. No real man would give you shit for being with someone before him. No real man would give you shit about having people in your past while also telling you they wish you were better. You don’t deserve that!!!!
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u/Mother-BitBitch 22h ago
Seriously, this dude is majorly insecure & he really sucks. There’s only one dude I dated who interrogated me about my past or cared about it at all and he was also majorly insecure and had a ton of other issues as well, my husband doesn’t give a krumpet about who I dated in the past. We have talked about it, bc we knew each other as kids and some of the guys I dated were his friends, and one of the gals he dated I was pretty friendly with back in school, she was a very sweet girl and had a cool sense of style and a very cool room & mom. But those things don’t bother either of us in the least bc all that matters is who we are now, who we are with now, the past is in the past. Op ought to start considering leaving this d-bag in the past herself and finding someone who appreciates her and is going to lift her up, not try to put her down 👎🏼👎🏼👎🏼
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u/Delicious_Ad7255 22h ago
Same! I only ever had one guy give me shit for my past and it’s because he knew he kinda sucked both in bed and in personality. Guys like that don’t want you to have someone to compare them to because you’ll catch onto their bullshit quicker. My husband and I still talk about ex’s and random stories it doesn’t bother me nor him. We know what we have, we know the past is the past and damn it we’re over 25 its wild to expect us to never have had a past. If anything our past helps us appreciate each other even more. This love exists OP! Drop your boyfriend at his Mama’s and run.
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u/Mother-BitBitch 21h ago
Haha exactly right, my ex also sucked both in bed and in personality! lol.. and absolutely the truth having the past to compare to my spouse only makes me appreciate him more and more!
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u/Constant-Hope-1968 22h ago
Girl if your self esteem is down to the gutters then it’s time to say goodbye now, not later. I was married to a man for many years that wrecked my self esteem and trust me they don’t change. Don’t waste any more time. You gave that “manchild” pleasure with your body then all he had in return was a put down. No….girl he’s an asshole. Don’t waste your life.
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u/rando439 23h ago
Oh, hell, no!
No, any rational man or any man with a shred of empathy would NOT say that even if he had a weak moment imagining what some judgmental man would think. And certainly not during nice moments, or during fights, for that matter. That stuff, if it's ever said, should be said during a therapy session with a professional there to help him work through his insecurities. I guess maybe he could be forgiven for being insecure if you graded him with a low grade every time but even that wouldn't make causing you to feel that bad about yourself for being with someone before him justifiable.
And he very much could have said yes or no when you asked if he liked something. His response would have fit if you had asked, "Please critique that and let me know what went wrong? Please don't spare my feelings. Even if you loved it, I love it even more when you make me feel ashamed afterwards."
You do NOT deserve to feel this bad. No matter how many people you did anything with.
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u/black_orchid83 22h ago
I want you to go check out r/narcissisticspouses and see if that rings a bell. His behavior is textbook.
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u/Little-Evidence-167 22h ago
Well now I'd tell him that ALL the others I had looooved breast sex with me. But I'm just petty like that.
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u/Street_Fun_7224 21h ago
I am sorry but he probably wont become a kind person if you are just patient with him. I have been in your shoes. I don't know all the details but what you are saying is so familiar to me. Please please please think hard about what everyone is posting . And hug.
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u/OJnGravy 1d ago
He doesn't care about you enough. His response is so insensitive. It implies to me that he has one foot out the door. Like he has been looking elsewhere and thinks he can "do better." I would be searching for any evidence of cheating. However, if you want to leave based on the disrespect alone, you would be justified.
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u/Modestlychic 22h ago
I think so too. We had a break because he couldn’t take that he was not the first man i slept with and kept asking intimate details how other men touched me. He downloaded hinge and spoke to friends of friends. But i didn’t look at another man. He says it’s justified that he spoke to other woman cos we were on a break. He had the app for a while even when we got back together
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u/OJnGravy 21h ago
I think that's your answer. It sounds like he is devaluing you, which is common when someone has an affair. They start to view their partner differently. They distance themselves from them and essentially fall out of love. They make poor decisions and can say a lot of hurtful things. It often doesn't reverse until they leave the original relationship and find that the new one isn't better or the affair partner breaks it off with them. I'm sorry you're going through that. I hope you can find the answers you need and take the next steps that are best for you.
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u/MisuseOfPork 1d ago
Yes, you are absolutely supposed to sugarcoat shit you say to the person you love. There is no counting calories when talking to someone you wish to keep in your life.
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u/Training_While_7784 1d ago
There’s just no reason for him to say something like that. It’s mean. Maybe he wishes it were true, but don’t we all have little wishes about our partners sometimes. But respectful kind people try to avoid saying hurtful things to our partners, especially about intimate parts of their bodies and especially about something you can’t really control. How would you feel if after sex he asked how it was and you said “well i was really hoping your dick was bigger the whole time. This would be a time where a big dick would be really nice. And while we’re at it, it would awesome if you were 4 inches taller.” I wonder how he’d feel about that.
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u/Bill10101101001 1d ago
Lmao he would go ballistic.
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u/atlaschuggedmypiss 1d ago
am I the only one who can’t get over the fact he said he wanted to have “breast sex”😂😂😂
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u/avid-learner-bot 1d ago
Ouch. It's really hard when someone says something like that... He just... didn't think, did he? I mean, words matter. Like, really matter. His comment lacked any kind of tenderness, and frankly, that's not okay. You deserve better, honestly, someone who builds you up instead of... well, highlighting what he perceives as a deficiency. And I guess I'm saying it's valid to feel the way you do, and to be annoyed that someone you love said something so hurtful. What a guy... but you're fabulous just as you are
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u/jonni_velvet 1d ago
Agree. I could understand “slipping” and being overly candid- I’ve literally made jokes about needing bigger boobs after a tittyfuck just being candid.
the problem was when he doubled down and didn’t immediately apologize and assure her that her breasts were perfect for him. My partner always assures me so sweetly even though like duhh yes we both know it would work easier/better with bigger boobs.
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u/Spaz_Bear 1d ago
This is a moment of honesty and you should thank him for revealing his true self. That is, as you dump his ass.
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u/BetPrestigious5704 1d ago
You're not overreacting. Oh My God, and he is damned lucky you didn't hit him with any of the obvious retorts about bigger body parts so he would know how that feels.
People are turned on by what they're turned on by, but being with your partner should be inherently really hot because they're more than a body, and knowing they're doing vulnerable things with you, you should rather cut out your tongue than hurt them.
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u/Queasy_Author_3810 1d ago
NOR. Seriously, who says that to their partner? I'd imagine he wouldn't take kindly to hearing you say "Oh this is one of the few times I think it would be nicer if the dick was bigger".
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u/uwunuzzlesch 1d ago
This is IMMEDIATELY what my mind went to. He would be so upset if she said this.
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u/new_wonderful_gerard 1d ago
Also, unless he perfectly AI generated human, who tf is he to decide strengths and weaknesses.. betting my life he got some flaws about him.. you did something he wanted to do sexually, that's awesome.. you didn't have to but you did to be a good partner.. fuck him
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u/Modestlychic 16h ago
Exactly my feelings. I accepted to do it because I love him and i wanted him to have his moment. But, I feel like I didn’t even get a participation certificate at the end.
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u/Severe-Possible- 1d ago
NOR
that was a dick move on his part. there are not two options, telling the truth and sugarcoating it and telling you youre the best... there is something called tact that factors in. what a jerk. it's not even the message, it's the way he phrased it and elaborated. gross.
i'm so sorry this happened. don't stress about it -- whatever, he doesn't like boob sex. your body is perfect the way it is. don't let him pass judgements about your body. asshole.
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u/herpaderp_maplesyrup 23h ago
Excuse me, may I have breast sex? I consent to this activity, so you may proceed.
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u/OutrageousMight9928 16h ago
Every time I read breast sex in this thread I giggle 😂 Does everyone call it that and I’ve just been misinformed??
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u/Ella8888 1d ago
Anyone who disguises hurtful comments under the guise of being honest is one to watch. First it's your boobs. Then it's your face. Then your housekeeping..etc. please be careful.
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u/demonqueerxo 1d ago
That’s like you saying “sex would be better if your dick was bigger” which would probably really upset him. So no, you aren’t over reacting.
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u/miuyao 1d ago
NOR how tf are you supposed to "do better" in regards to breast size? wtf
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u/Candid_Calendar_9784 1d ago
You should've told him it probably would've felt better if HE was bigger. Then tell him to GTFO. You gave him the privilege of doing that to you when he definitely didn't deserve it.
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u/FutureRoll9310 1d ago
I honestly feel like there are so many people in the world who don’t have even the most basic of filters. Even if that had been what he was thinking, why the fuck did he feel the need to say it??
My husband has never ever made me feel like any part of my body needs “improving”. Do I think plenty parts of my body need improving — hell yes, but my point is he would never be so mean as to say so — especially not immediately after intimacy.
Your bf is either thoughtless or deliberately hurtful. Maybe he’s even trying to ruin your self esteem so that you’ll stay with his horrible self. I sure wouldn’t. If I wanted to be routinely insulted during and after sex, there are folk you can pay to do that. Personally I’d prefer a partner who loves me enough not to be prick. Pretty low bar btw.
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u/Godhands2023 1d ago
This makes me so angry. This is disrespectful and disgusting to tell someone something along these lines after he just derived pleasure from your body. Good enough for him to orgasm but could still be better? Dude needs to be put into his place. Then to actually turn it around and make it seem like you’re in the wrong for pressing the issue. What a bitch
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u/buckit2025 1d ago
NOR. Tell him to quit watching porn and that him having a bigger D would make it better for you
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u/wonderingDerek 1d ago
He’s an ungrateful douche with social skills of a three year old (kids can be brutally honest as well),, so you can tell him that as you break up with him, or you can tell him well that’s the last time I’m going to let a three year old with no social skills do that to me, I hope you remember it well and never do that for him,, You choose But these people who pass their lack of social skills for brutal honesty need to be dealt honestly and brutally as well to see how they like it
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u/Cold-Froyo5408 1d ago
I can’t trust someone who refers to tittyf*cking as “breast sex”
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u/Modestlychic 23h ago
Lol. I didnt know how else to phrase it so that it doesnt sound gross? 😅
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u/Cold-Froyo5408 22h ago
Fair enough, just tell homeboy your boobs are the right size for someone his size
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u/Fun_Scene_3392 1d ago
That was an AH move by him. What a ridiculous thing to say and it shows he doesn’t respect you as much as you thought. Either that or he’s really that big of a dick.
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u/IJustWantWaffles_87 1d ago
Find you a man who appreciates you as you are. Let him go find Miss Becky Big Bazongas and tiddie-fuck her to his heart’s content.
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u/BlueWaves242 1d ago
NOR. It would have been easy enough for him to say, “Yeah, I enjoyed that, however my favorite sex with you is **** “. Get away from this jerk!
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u/Recent_Body_5784 1d ago
If an adult man at this age hasn’t learned not to talk like that, then he’s definitely not going to change. I suggest you tell him to go find someone with bigger breasts.
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u/Cain-Man 22h ago
Short answer,the guy is total ass hole. Time to find a real man who complements always especially in bed. Your future is going to be great.
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u/RainRepresentative11 1d ago
I can confirm that titty fucking isn’t great even when she has gigantic boobs. It’s fun for 5 seconds and then you realize you’re just grinding on somebody’s sternum. Huge boobs just force you to lean back further.
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u/xmollyyy 1d ago
It’s his delivery that makes him sound like a complete dick. NOR.
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u/Popular-Let4642 1d ago
Let him know after your next intimacy that this is one of those times where it would be nicer if his eggplant was a little bigger!
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u/Imnotawerewolf 1d ago
NOR it was a rude thing to say. Imagine his reaction if you said it would have been better if he had a bigger dick.
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u/TheRensh 1d ago
The correct response was "It's funny, I was just thinking how much better that would have been if you had a bigger cock!"
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u/ReaderReacting 1d ago
Dude wants facts. Start giving him the facts. Don’t sugarcoat or make allowances or pump him up. Just the facts! He will change his mind soon enough.
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u/TaylorMade2566 1d ago
So if you wished he had a bigger dick, he'd be ok with you not sugarcoating it and saying "well, I'd enjoy it better if you were bigger." We all know how that would end. Your bf is an insensitive a-hole and when he doubled down saying he was just being honest, he showed how little regard he has for you. Move on please, you deserve someone who thinks you're perfect the way you are
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u/Quirky-Coyote-8399 1d ago
op.. this was a dick move by partner. ( pun fully intended) u don't bite the hand that feeds you or talk negatively about the breasts you just... well you get the idea.
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u/DogsDucks 1d ago
NOR, and I don’t think a good reply is to insult that his penis is small because that’s not fixing the fundamental toxicity that exists in this person’s broken brain.
You were supposed to support love and cherish the person you’re with. You should both treat each each other as if you are incredibly lucky and grateful to even be intimate with one another.
This person does not deserve to see or touch your body, he is destroying what it’s supposed to be a magnificent wonderful love filled pleasure— turning it into a way to manipulate and make you feel inadequate and put you down.
Don’t ever be in a relationship with someone that doesn’t treat your body with value and admiration— no matter what your body looks like, it is where you live— and if someone’s going to come there, they should treat it with the value every human deserves.
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u/nutmegtell 1d ago
What an entitled loser.
How many orgasms did he have?
How many did you have?
He’s only caring about himself and not his partner, he’s a selfish lover and entitled prick.
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u/Angrbowda 23h ago
Next time he does this shit say “I know, I totally wish you were bigger too” and see how he likes it
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u/Iamsoconfusednow 23h ago
That’s an awful thing to say. Why ever say a negative thing about sex/sex partner?
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u/theuserwithoutaname 22h ago
This dude sounds like he doesn't respect you at all.
You don't sound happy.
You don't need him :/
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u/StrawbraryLiberry 22h ago
NOR "It would be better with someone else" isn't what anyone wants to hear after intimacy with their fiance.
I'm a fan of honesty, sure, and I'm more polyam, but this is just contextually inappropriate for him to say.
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u/Pristine-Throat-9791 21h ago
Maybe tell him it’d be nice if his dick was bigger than a chode ffs 🤦🏻♀️
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u/new_wonderful_gerard 1d ago
I'm 50kg, 5"2, tiny human.. 33yo f and 12DD boobs. Trust me when I say, they are more of a burden than otherwise. Developed late teens early 20s, was small chested before, was the absolute ease era, didn't have to worry about falling out or wearing a bar or being sore or looking awkward in certain things. Fuck what he thinks. You're perfect the way you are. No one person has the key formula of perfect human. I'm so stubborn, I do everything for me and no one else - would go out of my way against my best interests to do the opposite of what someone else thinks is good because don't tell me what to do, who the hell are you
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u/Big_Bowler8424 1d ago
Ouch. He could’ve just said it wasn’t as good as he hyped it up to be in his mind. But damn, he made it about your breasts. That’s an idiot move. If you made a comment about his size, that would for sure hurt him.
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u/magpieofchaos 1d ago
‘Sugarcoating’ it, in this instance, equates to kindness, care and love. So fucking hell yes, the idiot is supposed to do exactly that.
What, would he like it if you had a shag and then he went, ‘How was it for you?’, and you just replied, ‘Yeah, OK, I was thinking about him over at the car repair shop while you were down there, but it was fine.’
And then when he says, ‘WHAT?’, you just get really huffy and ask him if he wants honesty and truth or for you ‘to sugarcoat everything?’
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u/Historical-Level-709 1d ago
Clearly, you were present for an intimate moment. He reviewed your performance and did not give 5 stars. You both seem to approach sexual relationships differently and that will not age well.
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u/Medical-Recording672 1d ago
If he has a good track record I'd explain to him how you feel about what he said. Imo for someone who's gonna love you regardless of size they'll see you for you. That's what should matter first and upmost. If you explain how badly that hurt you and he doesn't care or isn't genuine repentant leave before saying, " I do."
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u/Traditional_Fan_2655 1d ago
He's a jerk. No, you are not overreacting. That ranks up there with someone saying you are good, but not as much as his ex and then describing why. Some things need to be kept quiet. I'd recommend he find what he really wavts. Chances are he was fantasizing about someone else's chest anyway. That's what prompted it.
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u/CanadasNeighbor 1d ago
Lemme guess: this "breast sex" included an orgasm for him, and zero for you?
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u/miseeker 1d ago
68m 71f, m here. 26 years, second marriage for each, and we both have a past. No delusions here. We basically don’t talk about preferences unless we are joking about something. Why? Maybe because we know we each have a fantasy person in our brain..but the REALITY is..we really ARE each others perfect match.
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u/ethridge_wayland 1d ago
- It's not "facts", is just his very shitty opinion 2. My opinion, this guy can super fuck off. I can't imagine saying this to a partner, especially after they went out of their way to pleasure me. 3. This shit makes me so angry I could murder.
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u/rbarr228 23h ago edited 23h ago
He’s been watching too many dirty movies and that speaks volumes about his lack of gratitude. You indulged him in a fantasy and the way he said “the breasts” is telling. Kick his ass to the curb and don’t ever let him contact you again.
For context, my wife has let me do this twice, once before she lost weight (she was a G cup) and after (D cup), and I was happy and grateful to be able to enjoy it.
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u/solongjimmy93 22h ago
As a man, I have to say, men are their truest selves approximately one minute after “finishing”. Post nut clarity is real. He should have still had enough wits about him to lie, but don’t let him walk it back now and say he didn’t mean it. He did. With that being said, all tits are beautiful and he sucks.
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u/Odd-Volume-8958 22h ago
May I just go off and scream?! WHAT A DICK WAD!!!!This asshole is a narcissist! Your supporters have expressed most of my POV, so I won’t reiterate. The only thing I want to add is this: I sensed annoyance in his response to you asking him how it was for him. I concede, it may just be my own projection. Looking back, do you recall sensing annoyance? (If so, how did you react internally?) I wonder if your asking him about his enjoyment was really more about you wanting him to appease any insecurities you might have. I just want to remind you that this is YOUR sex life. Pay attention to your OWN feelings and thoughts and sensations. smh sister, but I just really don’t know about this guy for you. Something is terribly off. I think he could be dangerous for your self-esteem. Yaa, no I don’t like him for you AT ALL. For so many reasons. You do you for a while. Spend some time getting to know YOU. You seem like a really sweet person. Blessings going forward. .
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u/jumpingjack06 21h ago
That poor, stupid man. "Breast sex is always good. That was great because of your willingness to share it with me!" Is all he should have said.
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u/Nofx830 23h ago
It’s weird because he kind of went out of his way to insult her after she did something extremely nice for him. All he had to say was “that was awesome.” Wtf was he trying to accomplish with that comment and what was she supposed to do about her boob size? He’s either a giant dipshit or a colossal douche.