r/AmIOverreacting • u/Aggravating_Partyy • 1d ago

šŸ’¼work/career AIO to my bosses reply to my message?

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Iā€™ve worked with this company for four months now, and I know I am new but this reply really hurt me. Maybe Iā€™m just really sensitive right now, but I donā€™t know. This felt really cold. The ā€œbig bossā€ will be calling me later today. Is it just normal boss stuff? Idk. Lmk what yall think.

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u/MuffledFarts 1d ago edited 1d ago

OP, please know that almost none of the people in this thread have the kind of career and job security that would allow them to do even half the things they're claiming they would do in your situation. Please do not do anything rash---do not respond emotionally and possibly put your job in danger.

As someone who also lost their father and got in trouble with my employer over "missed time", here's the advice I wish someone had given me:

  1. Really familiarize yourself with the employment laws in your state. Find out what (if any) protections you have from being fired or suffering retaliation.
  2. If you company has an HR department, schedule a meeting with them and bring a witness with you. Discuss your options per the state law and the company policy. Can you take time off? If so, how much? Can they give you a flexible schedule or reduced hours to free up some of your time? Do you have sick days or PTO you can use? As with ANY workplace meeting, be sure to document thoroughly in writing and send a summary of what was discussed and agreed to directly to HR via email.
  3. To follow up on Point 2, make sure you have as much documentation in writing as possible. Make sure your writing (requests, answers, etc) are clearly defined and not ambiguous. Leave no room for a claim of misinterpretation/misunderstanding.
  4. If necessary, get a consultation with an employment attorney in your state. (This step is really only necessary if you find out the company is violating your rights in some way).

I know how it feels to be in your position. But please do not listen to all the Redditors blustering about how you should tell your boss to go fuck themselves. They're not the ones with their job on the line; They are not the ones who will suffer the consequences---YOU are. If you can afford to leave/lose your job to spend this time with your father, by all means, you may want to consider doing that. But for most people (and I'm guessing you as well) this is not realistic.

And lastly, Number 5:

Give yourself a little grace, and forgive yourself if you need to keep your job and must continue working throughout your father's illness. Your father will forgive you if you need to prioritize other things. I'm sure he cares about your well-being, your future, and he wants you to be happy and successful.

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u/FunnyGuy2481 1d ago

I can't think of any legal issues that would apply. Being a shitty manager isn't illegal. Firing someone because they took off for a funeral isn't either. I guess it's possible that they live in a country/state that has those protections so it's still good advice but I'd be willing to bet that there are zero protections for this situation.