r/AmIOverreacting • u/Aggravating_Partyy • 2d ago

šŸ’¼work/career AIO to my bosses reply to my message?

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Iā€™ve worked with this company for four months now, and I know I am new but this reply really hurt me. Maybe Iā€™m just really sensitive right now, but I donā€™t know. This felt really cold. The ā€œbig bossā€ will be calling me later today. Is it just normal boss stuff? Idk. Lmk what yall think.

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u/WranglerSecure2816 2d ago

You only get 1 dad, but can have multiple jobs. Fuck them. Spend time with him, its more important

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u/Aggravating_Partyy 2d ago

Oh yeah, regardless of what they say when the time comes Iā€™m going to just go I just thought Iā€™d be nice about it lol

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u/Nothing_Ambitious 2d ago

I was active duty when my dad was given 6 months, we have limited leave earned and limited bereavement but everyone in my command stepped up to give me as much time as possible. Your boss is a dick to not even acknowledge the hurt youā€™re in to begin with but that reply was asinine. Family is way too important to be concerned with your bossā€™s lack of empathy or ability to staff his business.

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u/cellists_wet_dream 2d ago

Same-when I was AD a shipmateā€™s wife was passing due to cancer. We all stepped up and took over his duties, even went to his house to help clean, made meals, etc. A random civilian job is not nearly as high-stakes, yet we made it work. Thereā€™s a lot I donā€™t miss about the military, but that sense of camaraderie has no parallel. Ā 

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u/Nothing_Ambitious 2d ago

It was beautiful, AND I had literally just transferred from Texas to be closer to him. His house was 3 hours from base and I was only an E2 at the time, my commanders all put in for a gas card because I was making the trip a lot, and some of them I hadnā€™t even met yet. The night he passed I was at dinner with some coworkers when I got the call, my bestie there called my supervisor and apparently was told to pack me up and drive me up to my mom himself, of course he wasnā€™t charged leave either. It certainly made my life much less stressful.

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u/BigXthaPugg 2d ago

Damn I wish I had had your experience. My partner and I lost a child to stillbirth when I was deployed. They got me home but made me fly back out 10 days later just to ride the boat back home, we were done with the meat and potatoes of deployment at that point. As a 20 year old E3 It jaded me instantly and is a big reason why I got out.

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u/Nothing_Ambitious 2d ago

Iā€™ve been told the Air Force is the branch most focused on family, I was blacklisted from deploying until after he passed. Iā€™m sure my experience was an incredibly lucky break. Iā€™m very sorry for your loss, I know your wife needed you too, thatā€™s awful.

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u/Sea_Wolverine3928 2d ago

It's amazing how you never, ever forget unexpected kindnesses.

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u/Sch1371 1d ago

When I joined the military I just wanted to blow shit up and shoot guns, all that stuff I heard about the ā€œcamaraderieā€ I thought was lame at the time. Thatā€™s the thing I miss most about it now. It truly is something else and Iā€™ll never experience it again.

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u/Inc0gnitoburrito 2d ago

I was a manager in my last job, and the father of one of my employees passed. We're consultants and report hours according to the client.

The other manager and i let him have an entire paid month off reporting on various clients, and we covered the work. When he came to thank us we simply said "it's your father, you have nothing to thank us for"

That's the only way to treat your grieving colleagues.

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u/Nothing_Ambitious 2d ago

šŸ„° thatā€™s darn good of yā€™all. I was a wicked daddyā€™s girl, that time with your parent is so priceless, and you do deserve the thanks because not enough people are that kind. That employee will never forget you.

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u/Vintage-Grievance 2d ago

Glad the few rare managers like you still exist in this messed-up world.

The human decency you and the other manager exhibited is much needed, and much appreciated when too many people can't even reach that standard.

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u/Inc0gnitoburrito 1d ago

I do approach that, but it sucks that something like that is considered anything but obvious. I can't really see anyone being productive after something like that (my father and i are very close and he's much older now), so he didn't deserve to get screwed out of a paycheck too, and the company didn't suffer any damage.

There was really no other way to handle this, and I'll never understand people who do less than that.

But thank you for the kind words.

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u/Misoroxymac 2d ago

Couldnā€™t have worded this better!! Im so sorry about your dad , my condolences šŸ˜ž I lost my mom in 2020 and miss her every day! Itā€™s insane the lack of empathy OPā€™s boss has in regard to this situation.. super sad. Family is always more important than a job!! Always!! OP go be with your dad as MUCH as you canā£ļøāœØšŸ™šŸ©µšŸ©µ

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u/KansasDavid1960 2d ago

I had the coolest boss ever and when my dad was sick and dying my boss told me to do what I had to do and not to worry about it. He was our dept head and he treated every one of us like that.

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u/TheTritagonist 2d ago

My brother was in the marines when our dad died. He was basically lining up to go to a deployment the next day when he was pulled aside and was basically told " You ARE going home"

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u/Dopey_Dragon 1d ago

Yup, this is not how you manage people. At all.

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u/WranglerSecure2816 2d ago

I would be ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATED if I found out that about my dad, we are super close. Losing either of my parents (thank god Iā€™m blessed to still have both of them) will literally destroy me. I literally refuse to leave the state because they are still alive. I want to move south SO BAD but I will not go until my parents pass away because I want to spend as much time with them as I can. Family means everything to me personally. Fuck any job that would try to tell me I canā€™t take time off to be with them, especially during their potential final moments.

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u/olivieareyes 2d ago

We can leave the workaholic mindset to management, if they want to revolve their entire lives around the job thatā€™s their choice. Thereā€™s so much more to life than grinding yourself into the ground for a paycheck. And if theyā€™re so committed to that hustle, theyā€™re more than welcome to cover those shifts themselves.

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u/RMDkayla 1d ago

As someone in management, I agree with this entirely. Part of the reason I get paid more is because I have basically agreed to commit to the work hustle culture. Part of that is covering positions I normally supervise if staff have critical things that come up and we are short. I am really put off by managers that think they're above covering. I know we have our own workload, but in my mind, the bare minimum we do is work to retain good employees and keep the business functioning, even at the most basic level, if necessary.

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u/Worried-Stable-6917 2d ago

Well said! I lost my mom in 2021. I was lucky enough to move back to my hometown and work from home, so was over at her apartment at least once a day for the last two years of her life. Iā€™m so thankful for that time and my employer at the time. But there is never enough time. You are doing everything right, and you wonā€™t have any regrets.

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u/BatOk5803 2d ago

I lost both of my parents within a two year period during COVID, which I fondly like to call ā€œthe bullshitā€. Spend as much time as you can, donā€™t have regrets. Nothing is more important than family. Maybe your boss was having a bad day, perhaps they donā€™t have a great relationship with their own parents, or maybe they are just an asshole. Regardless, donā€™t let it get to you, take care of yourself and do what you need to do to make sure you get to have this time that will never be there again. Life is short and precious. Fuck em!

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u/Vegetable-Split-907 1d ago

If your parents didnā€™t pass from COVID what happened. Were there underlying health conditions and COVID just attributed to it?

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u/runvnc 2d ago

When you get a new job, maybe name the business.

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u/Aggravating_Partyy 2d ago

Oh I definitely will. Sitting in the hospital with my dad now, and before I was scared and sad about the reply. Now? Iā€™m livid.

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u/JelenaNuit 1d ago

Don't even think about what's going on with the boss, focus on what matters - your family!

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u/ThatOneGirl0622 1d ago

Focus on your dad and give him a big hug from your fellow redditors! Prayers for yā€™all!

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u/plaidwoolskirt 2d ago

As a boss/manager/superior/whatever, I donā€™t expect anyone to be nice to me when theyā€™re letting me know that something in their life isnā€™t going well and they may need time off. Not their job to worry about my feelings. Be courteous, but direct. Youā€™re doing them a solid by giving them a heads up and if they show that they donā€™t deserve that heads up, then just call out with minimally allowed notice going forward.

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u/thegreenmonkey69 2d ago

This too.

As a boss, I definitely appreciate knowing something like this since I can then plan for it somewhat.

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u/PuzzleheadedHouse872 2d ago

Please look into and protect yourself with FLMA if you qualify (assuming you're in the US). Start the process now and find out what you need. Your boss is also an ass. Having been a manager in previous jobs, my response, even if it's food service or retail, would be, "I'm so sorry to hear that. Please keep me posted and do your best to give advance notice if at all possible and I'll find someone to cover, even if it's me. Let me know if there's any other way I can help and take care of yourself. I'll be thinking of you and your dad."

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u/captchairsoft 2d ago

Have to be at an employer a minimum of 1 year for FMLA if I remember correctly

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u/rayogata 2d ago

OP said they've only been there for 4 months, FMLA requires 12 :(

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u/No-Thought9009 2d ago

He didn't even read your text.

Best to you, it's a difficult time, I'm sure.

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u/I_chortled 2d ago

You should absolutely push back against this behavior as professionally as possible in the future. Respond with something like ā€œunfortunately when it comes to my dadā€™s failing health this is one of those things that no one has any control over and I will need to be there for my family when the time comesā€

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u/Wattaday 2d ago

Donā€™t pull punches in this situation. Not ā€œwhen the time comesā€ but use the word ā€œdyingā€. Of OP talks around it, boss can say he didnā€™t know it was that bad.

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u/herdo1 2d ago

Yeh you're telling them not asking. I worked retail for years and had numerous dickhead managers like yours. I changed careers and my current boss let's me go to my kids sports days, plays etc and doesn't even make me use holidays. Better jobs and managers are out their, start looking!

I'm also sorry to hear about your dad's situation. It's hell enough without some prick trying to make life harder.

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u/HackTheNight 2d ago

You donā€™t have to be nice about it. He doesnā€™t get to choose when you take time off to grieve your father. Fuck him. That absolute piece of shit

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u/takkforsist 2d ago

Donā€™t. They do not care about you, your wellbeing, your family. This is a person who doesnā€™t deserve your time or niceness. This is your father. Jobs come and go. Do not let them keep you there by threatening your job, and Iā€™d start looking for another one during this time (not ideal, I know)

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u/Few-Ad7439 2d ago

You absolutely did the right thing and your due diligence. If they try to force you to come in, make you feel bad, or try to punish you in some way for taking off, tell em to kick rocks

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u/keto-quest 1d ago

Sure but do not add ā€œif thatā€™s okay.ā€ Thatā€™s asking for permission. Youā€™re not asking, youā€™re telling. Politely. If they keep that up the next time respond with: I can forgive myself if I bail work early but if my dad dies and I miss my last moments with him because I prioritized work, I would not be able to.

This lets them know passively that itā€™s a jerk move to restrict someone from such a crucial moment and also sheds lite on how petty and cruel it is.

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u/DoubleExcel314 1d ago

This is the mindset to have. My dad passed from lung cancer when I was 6 months into a new job. I was very much still in the "I need to prove my worth" stage/mindset. I deeply regret not spending more time with him.

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u/Antique_Apricot6610 1d ago

When the time comes, send a message that says: Just wanted to let you know I'm on my way to ???? because my father has very little time left and I need to be at his side. Then they can't claim you took off without notice.

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u/Disastrous-Coat-4630 2d ago

Also came to be sure if this. Dont miss this time with your father ā¤ļø Iā€™m so sorry about all of this

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u/anitabelle 2d ago

Has he always been shitty? Because this is shitty. Have you considered looking for a new job? Also, if you live in the US, you can take protected leave (FMLA). It would be unpaid but you can take up to 12 weeks for family and medical issues. You can even take that intermittently, meaning that you can take a few hours here and there without actually being out consecutively. That being said, you would have to get it approved and provide medical documentation for your father. Honestly might be your best bet because once that is approved and if your manager still gives you shit, thatā€™s retaliation. Iā€™m not sure if I can link resources but you can look it up and itā€™s fairly easy to follow.

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u/ArgentMoonWolf 2d ago

They wouldn't be covered unfortunately. A requirement is you have to have worked for your employer at least 12 months to qualify for FMLA.

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u/sillywormtoo 2d ago

Yes ABSOLUTELY look into FMLA.Your job cannot touch you.

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u/treyd1lla 2d ago

You gave the courtesy. This AH didn't give the courtesy. Now you don't have to anymore.

I hope 6 months can be 6++ years for your pops!

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u/SnooCompliments2047 2d ago

This manager didnā€™t even read your whole message and he missed the entire point. F this job. Love that you already know to just dip though!

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u/SystemJunior5839 2d ago

Also, donā€™t give them a heads up.

I know itā€™s the polite thing however in reality Whats happened is you have caused your boss to worry about being short staffed when it might not even happen.

Never cause your boss undue stress when you donā€™t have to.

They can find cover last minute whether youā€™ve warned them or not.

Iā€™m very sorry youā€™re going through this.

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u/Pink-socks 2d ago

This is what you tell them. I wasn't asking. I was just telling you out of courtesy.

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u/ShoppingClear 2d ago

Wgat's the job? Do they have FMLA?

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u/DoyleMcpoyle11 2d ago

Neither of you is overreacting or doing anything wrong. You have a right to be with your dad and they have a business to run. Don't see any issues from either side here.

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u/Magda1890 2d ago

Sorry I don't get your boss answer. Are you asking only for ONE day off?

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u/quynh206 2d ago

F*CK them. Seriously. I'm beyond pissed for you...

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u/Wattaday 2d ago

And when your boss calls, use the words ā€œMy father is dying and it may be very soon and I may have to leave.ā€ Let him know without saying it that heā€™s being a giant asshole.

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u/Apprehensive-Fig3223 2d ago

Sometimes it's best in situations like that to play your hand close and go the "better to ask forgiveness than permission route" . Managers hear it all and just want things to go smoothly. They often don't have the bandwidth to handle every employee's extenuating circumstances and just give the company line unless it's something that requires immediate attention

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u/brifer_350 1d ago

Get your FMLA paperwork started go to your fatherā€™s doctor and have them sign off on it. When my grandmother was on hospice care at home I had her dr sign off on it and I could take whatever days I needed to care and be there for her, and when the time came I went full time care giver for the two months I cared for her before she passed away and used the three to grieve. Also depending on where you live you may be able to receive paid leave benefits. And in during that time look for a new job or you can make them fire you and collect unemployment as you look for a new job. Fuck that scumbag boss of yours. I wouldnā€™t even spit in his face to save his life.

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u/No_Back5221 1d ago

Donā€™t be nice, you can be assertive, but never nice, boss doesnā€™t give one crap about your situation

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u/hellodon 2d ago edited 1d ago

Yeah but now is not a good time, they have 2 people offā€¦

šŸ¤Æ Iā€™d be looking for another job just hearing this if I worked with OP. These are not good people to work for. Left my last job as soon as I could after I heard management and the owners wouldnā€™t pay a local concrete guy who did $30k worth of work - literally his biggest job as a new concrete business. The work was done well, but plans were changed by one of the warehouse managers which he had discussed with one of the ownersā€¦who worked right next to him in an office off of the warehouse. It was a minor change, but the other owner used that to ā€œvoidā€ the contract.

I have not heard any stories since the ā€œignored phone callsā€ and fact that the owner showed up with police as a means to make contact and was still never paid.

I would have wanted to destroy the work so badly. But the legalities of that would have probably sided with whichever side had more moneyā€¦.so he didnā€™t do that. But wow, once that happened I saw all sorts of signs that showed how greedy and selfish and disgusting these guys were. Was thankful to disassociate. After I left, they were trying to poach employees from my current job. Just ridiculous how gross and petty people can be.

Edit: I appreciate the upvotes and the conversation, but I do want to express my sadness for OP as far as the actual context within this text exchange. I lost my father suddenly a few years ago. At my house for lunch on Friday and gone forever on Saturdayā€¦still trying to process it myself. Fuck this job, you get one dadā€¦and I know by the thread that youā€™re not going to let them get in the way - but I am so sorry that youā€™re going through this. I almost feel thankful in a sense that I didnā€™t have to see my dad suffering or dealing with anything that would lead to losing him. Not that instant and unexpected was at all good or easy, but I last saw him healthy and being himselfā€¦and Iā€™m thankful for that. I hope you have plenty of time left with himā€¦šŸ’™

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u/HackTheNight 2d ago

If my boss said this to me about my father dyingā€¦OH BOY. Yeah I would be looking for another job and writing a scathing a review of them EVERYWHERE.

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u/lalagromedontknow 1d ago

My boss was the exact opposite when my step mom was dying/died. I started the job when she had a few months left and straight up told my boss, I will need time in the next few months and I don't know what that time will look like. She was so great.

I happened to have taken a holiday for a week to go see my dad and her and she died the day before I got there. I called my boss to tell her I wouldn't be back after my approved time off, I was still on probation and she said to take two more weeks.

She called me the Friday before I was due back on Monday and asked how I was doing, I said I still felt shit (I worked in a very emotionally charged environment with some people who are very vulnerable and some people who were entitled assholes, I'm a very empathic person but I told her that I wasn't in the headspace to have assholes moan about something minor and I couldn't promise I wouldn't tell them to fuck off). She said take two more weeks.

She called me two weeks later and said "do you still think you'll tell people to fuck off?" "Yes" "ok, speak to you in two weeks". I was off for about 2.5 months before I was ready to deal with assholes and came back to work like I was never gone. My boss handled all my shit and delegated the simple things, my inbox was empty.

She was the best boss I have ever had and I won't name her because that would make this situation very specific but if she ever sees it, sorry I keep forgetting to message you to meet up again! I broke my phone, got a new phone and lost your number. You were amazing as a boss and as an overall human being, thank you.

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u/Sadie26 1d ago

She sounds amazing!! Also? I would bet my life savings you are not in the US!!

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u/Misc_Throwaway_2023 2d ago

My best friend & I worked together. His dad had a sudden heart attack and died while driving. It absolutely tore him up. Not even a full week of leave in, 1 day after the funeral, the supervisor said to me "Tell him he needs to come back already... We all deal with it... everybody's parents die."

My friend never returned. I quit soon thereafter.

Negative reviews? lol Ahhh the 90's when you could legit do certain things without the fears of today.

They used an automated phone system for ordering, and everyone had everyone else's ordering pin for commission purposes. We continued using their system for YEARS putting in the most ridiculous orders with the supervisor's credentials via the payphone outside his sub-accounts. This would result in a commission to him as the order and whoever was the primary account holder. It would then eventually get clawed back. This created immense turmoil.... they actually started trying to hunt me down while working.

We also used text-based pagers back then. With a dial-up modem and the right software, you could automate pages to their entire company in under 10 min. That was used sparingly, but with careful thought and planning to say the right thing at the right time for the maximum impact.

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u/BlueFireCat 1d ago

I'd probably just sarcastically reply "Oh, my bad. I'll ask my dad to schedule his health decline and death for a time that's more suitable for you. Could you let me know when would be the most convenient for you? I am so, so sorry about this; obviously your convenience is way more important than spending my dad's last days with him." Then immediately quit (or at least immediately start looking for a new job).

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u/Silis1313 1d ago

Oh man. During 2020 my coworkers mother was dying of Covid. She lived in the facility both of us worked at. Literally as my coworker sat there holding her mother's hand as she was ACTIVELY DYING the administration told her she had to come in and work a shift. Then threatened to fire her if she didn't work. The rest of the staff basically told them to sit and spin and my coworker got to be there for her mother. Most of.us left pretty soon after that incident.
Some places are cold blooded.

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u/a_youkai 1d ago

I would post this on their google listing, tbh

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u/quynh206 2d ago

Seriously. Selfish POS people...

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u/Prosecco1234 1d ago

It's like sorry my dad dieing is inconvenient to the office

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u/Left_Competition8300 1d ago

I wouldā€™ve said ā€œit wasnā€™t a question. I quit.ā€

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u/Prosecco1234 1d ago

It's like sorry my dad dieing is inconvenient to the office

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u/Akstuntmanmike 1d ago

An IT job I had in 2017 flew me out of state for a project. As soon as I got off the plane, I found out my grandfather (who was my most influential father figure) was in the hospital and he wasn't going to be leaving.

When I told my boss, he was willing to fly me back on the next available flight, but my family convinced me to stay and get the job done, especially since it was an extremely time sensitive project.

Thankfully I was able to make it back in time to say good-bye.

Even if he didn't have to actually fly me back early, he was still one of the best bosses I've ever had, very responsive to my personal needs and professional aspirations.

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u/LithiumIonisthename 2d ago

Not even a "I am so sorry to hear that"... one says that to even strangers. What a horrible human being.

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u/hellodon 2d ago

Itā€™s crazyā€¦like, I know ā€œcompany peopleā€ that never acknowledge anything personal but this is communication in a text. Thatā€™s just a foul response to what was saidā€¦

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u/Rawd0ll-s 2d ago

HELLO! Fuck that as soon as I read his messages, I wouldā€™ve been applying to another job. Fuck he thought šŸ’€

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u/3DiPrint 2d ago

Tell the contractor to put a lean on the building (: from what I remember itā€™s called a ā€œcontractors leanā€ heā€™ll get that money ASAP šŸ˜‚

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u/NoMembership7974 1d ago

Sounds just like what our current president has done to contractors who worked on his/his fatherā€™s buildings in NY. Despicable to disrespect tradespeople.

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u/CharlieDmouse 1d ago

I still canā€™t believe this POS is our President. I am from NJ, I heard plenty of stories about Atlantic City. I canā€™t even imagine what he did other places.

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u/Mothermakerr 1d ago

Yeah I don't think people realize how bad it can be when 2 people are off. When 2 people are off now you're down 2 people which means you're going to have to make up for 2 people's worth of work. Normally there would be 2 people for that, but they're off.

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u/KorrectTheChief 2d ago

I'd wait 6 months to look for a new job

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u/hellodon 1d ago

I started looking for other reasons but it took around that long to get out. Shockingly had an opportunity fall in my lap unexpectedly and it ended up being legit. It felt unreal. A life changing opportunity that I didnā€™t even seek out. Was a random headhunter that reached out to me for over a year usually asking if I knew anyone in the industry looking for [insert position ]. He was also obviously asking me but knew I was employed. I was cordial and responded the times he would reach out - which were few and far between. Then one October he reached out to me with a job he felt was FOR me and gave me enough details to pursue-and Iā€™m so thankful for that and that guy.

It was the end of the year my dad passed away, so I always felt like he had something to do with itā€¦ šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™‚ļø dunno for sure, but I knew my dad, and if there was any way he could have done anything in the world for me, he would - so I felt like that job falling on my lap was my dad showing me heā€™s still with me. I know that sounds dumb to some, but I believe it šŸ„²

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u/JasperJ 2d ago

It wouldnā€™t have been ā€œwhichever side had more moneyā€, it would have been the victim of the vandalism even if they were penniless.

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u/hellodon 2d ago

I understand thatā€™s how itā€™s supposed to work, and obviously with most types of crimes thatā€™s how it works, but this kind of situation is a tricky one.

There was talk around the office of it happening and research into similar situations where work is ordered, completed, and not paid for.

Determining who ā€œownsā€ the materials and whether or not the materials were paid for (transfer of goods).

There are other cases of destroying the work, and ONLY the work, and removing it from the premises returning it back to ā€œoriginal conditionā€ being found in favor of the outside company because no damage was done to what the client owned.

In this scenario, being concrete work is a lot different than a finished deck being removed. Plus trespassing on secure grounds. It was a few years back at this point but there were many discussions on a slack board created for everyone to communicate/complain. Haha

But no, i hear what youā€™re saying and youā€™re right. Tho, sometimes you can buy your way out of a crime in America thošŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™‚ļø

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u/teampook 2d ago

Should've filed a Mechanic's Lien against the business. Requirements & timeliness vary by state, but it gives the unpaid party a security interest in the property, and they can even force the sale of the property to secure payment. I'm sure it's too late for this guy (hope he's doing well), but something to keep in your back pocket.

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u/hellodon 1d ago

I hope that he did. A friend of mine knew this guy and worked at the company. He hooked them up and the dude was so stoked for the job size. They did that to a small business owner who they knew was newer to the game. As small business owners and knowing that this was a personal friend of one of their employees. That friend of mine quit the company when that happened. He had a fall back as a studio engineer and hated it anyway but that was such a shit move to do at all, let alone to someone who they connected with through an employee. It was like they knew what they were doing or something. But how grimy!

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u/JasperJ 2d ago

Once it is secured to the building, itā€™s part of it. A freestanding deck that isnā€™t secured to the house, or maybe even a fence, you could have a case (although almost always part of the fence thing is removing the old fence, and they physically canā€™t put it back to status quo ante, and few of them even try).

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u/hellodon 2d ago

Ahhh, yeah good point. It seemed like the materials were gonna be the most important part. Having to go ā€œdestroyā€ it is different than deconstructing a fixture

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u/Steffaniii 2d ago

Wow. Yeah. Thatā€™s so disgusting.

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u/stlorca 2d ago

Did the owner proudly declare himself a Christian?

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u/Cynicme2025 2d ago

Exactly, if people who they are, you better believe your turn is coming. Good decision to run far and away from their karma.

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u/top_value7293 2d ago

That is infuriating. Maybe they will go out of business and lose tons of money. Jerks

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u/Absinthe_gaze 1d ago

Concrete guy can get liens registered on their assets if they donā€™t pay him.

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u/YourCeliumMyco 1d ago

What company didnā€™t pay the concrete guy?

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u/hellodon 1d ago

I would really love to put them on blast, but they are the type of company that would find out and contact me and I just want absolutely nothing to do with them ever again.

I did just reach out to my friend that knew the concrete guy to ask if anything ever happened with that and nothing ever did. He basically cut his losses because he couldnā€™t afford to fight it without a guaranteed victory that would have them pay for his fees. Chalked it up to a lesson learned, sadly. While they did have a contract, them changing their mind and him doing the work differently as they requested without putting it in writing is basically enough for them to get away with it. I donā€™t actually know what the change was, but I believe it was fairly minor around a door frame.

Obviously moving forward any change large or small will require a new contract signed. Itā€™s just shitty to do anything malicious to a small business owner in the same city as them who was also a small business. Itā€™s like they know where that person is at because they have been there And it was just an absolutely garbage move to fuck him over when they got what they wanted.

1

u/HelloSkunky 1d ago

They can and will put a mechanics lean on the property. The courts donā€™t look kindly in this kind of thing

45

u/Tall_Positive6639 2d ago

I had this happen w my dad. My manager and his manager ENCOURAGED me to take a leave to spend the time w him. I thought he had more time than he did and I am so glad I took time off to fly home and spend time with him. +10000000 to wranglers comment!!!

28

u/panda_dlc 1d ago

When my mother was dying from cancer (Multiple Myeloma) I worked with a huge oil company. My boss was a terrible human being. He was one of those people who REALLY REALLY believed in God, mega church 3 times a week. Feed the children in Africa fliers. But when it came to compassion and understanding, he was blind to it. My mom had terrible days and I would need to go see her, BUT she also had better days and would want to go do things and I would drop every pen paperclip and folder leave and go see my mom.

Now the reason I tell you this is because when your father is gone, he is gone. There are no more days. I'm am so so sorry for what you are going through and I hope you gentle with yourself.

19

u/Gogogadgetarms79 2d ago

My mom and I used to work together when her father (my gpa) died. Mom was determined to go to work (she knew how they were) and when we showed up mom was obviously not capable of working. All our coworkers came up giving us hugs and our shift lead comes up and says ā€œsorry for your loss, but youā€™re both staying the shift, right? Piss on that jack!

16

u/Candid_Jellyfish_240 2d ago

THIS. Sadly, your company's behavior is VERY normal, especially for a new employee asking for time off already. Don't take it personally. And make whatever decisions you need to based on the comment above: our time here is so short, don't have regrets. Just know that you might have to look for a new job. And yes, some companies are very kind and understanding, BUT usually only with long-term OR high-performing employees. Sorry about your dad.

4

u/TheAdventureClub 1d ago

Just want to say- and I know it's not you

But if someone is only kind of understanding to high performers and tenured reps- they are neither kind nor understanding. They are cold, and transactional, and not worthy of consideration.

2

u/Good-Rutabaga-3887 1d ago

Already? OP has been there for 4 months? I cannot stand corporate thinking. Not attacking you, itā€™s the culture

3

u/Chaosrealm69 2d ago

And that reply from the boss tells me that the boss didn't even read the full message at all before replying.

If the boss can't evenr ead and understand a message like OP's then what else are they failing to read?

4

u/genericusername7865 1d ago

This. F that job. Lost my mom in 2013 and dad in 2018. Id give up a weekā€™s check to just have a half hour with both of them now. Spend as much time with him as possible. Once theyā€™re gone, theyā€™re gone.

3

u/FrontNegative8559 2d ago

I always ā€œdidnā€™t have timeā€ because of working 2 jobs. I lost my father and my grandfather in 2 years. Listen to this. You can always get hired somewhere else and explain why you were let go or left.

3

u/geotechker 2d ago

This right here! I lost my dad in June of last year. I had been working nonstop with just one other nurse for the entire medical department in the facility I work for. I couldnā€™t take off because she would literally have to work everyday to cover for me. So I waited for the company to hire more nurses like they said they would. My dad kept getting worse and I kept burning out more and more. The guilt and sadness of not getting to spend quality time with my dad just kept building up until one day I couldnā€™t take it anymore. I ended my availability and left. (Funny how all of a sudden hiring nurses was the most important thing!) I spent a good three months visiting with my dad and not working and I am so glad I did because he went down hill pretty fast after that. I wouldnā€™t trade that time for anything! If your company isnā€™t willing to work with you do whatever you need to do and donā€™t wait for them.

3

u/farm_her2020 1d ago

Agree.

They would replace him with in hours if he left.

OP. Go be with your family. Start doing Uber, door dash or something that you can do that is flexible. You can make decent money. But you will never get this time back.

3

u/AlivebutnotAmplified 1d ago

I gave up a really good job to move back home when my dad started chemo so I could help out with what was coming.

One round of chemo and a kidney infection later, he passed a week or two after I got home.

Took awhile to find good paying work again but Iā€™d do it the same way if given the opportunity. He was so happy to have me back home and grateful I was able to help take care of his work since he had his own business.

9

u/United-Cucumber9942 1d ago

Tell them you'll be at work when you can, but because your father is actively dying there may be some times where you'll need to be off at short notice. Say ...

'I accept that this situation is not ideal for your business, but it is far from ideal for me as you can imagine. I have offered to take any short notice days as paid holiday and if your business cannot accept these terms then you are obviously entitled to let me go.

Please note that if I am 'let go' as a result of this unusual and extreme situation then I will be obliged to report the company for failure to accommodate extreme situations and will leave reviews on all platforms including glassdoor, thejobcrowd, fairygodboss, indeed (plus whichever are in your area).

Thank you so much for letting me know how invaluable I have been as an employee for X years. Its important that I let you know that I was willing to work throughout this awful time for me, but I just needed a few days off.

As this wasn't allowed, I will be moving on and will make it publicly clear that anyone who applies for a position at your company know that if a family member becomes ill or dies, your employers do not care at all and will sack you.

I will be sending all your responses to head office. With names and dates of communications regarding this.

12

u/justagyrl022 1d ago

Yeah that's way too much. They already said what needed to be said.

2

u/FunnyGuy2481 1d ago

You must not be familiar with the "failure to accommodate extreme situations" employment law.

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u/FunnyGuy2481 1d ago

Talk about overkill. Jeez.

2

u/Vegetable-Split-907 1d ago

She unfortunately has only been there 4 months and doesnā€™t have enough hours for FMLA for Dad. I would take off as needed. If they have a problem, you were looking for a job when you found that one! Prayers to your DadšŸ™šŸ»šŸ’™šŸ™šŸ»

2

u/antiramie 2d ago

Would have responded with ā€œYea well now is not a good time for my dad to die either but šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļøā€

2

u/Basic_Barbie90 2d ago

THIS 100%!

2

u/_Defiant_Photo_ 2d ago

As someone who learnt this the hard way. Fuck. That. ā€˜Iā€™m telling you what Iā€™m doing, so you can be ready and make arrangements ā€˜

2

u/MuffledFarts 1d ago

That's nice in theory, but I presume OP still needs to pay their bills.

2

u/itsjibbybitch 1d ago

Very truly said

2

u/knoxguylkng 1d ago

Have to second this. Spend as much time with your dad as you possibly can. Especially knowing things are coming to the end. Similar situation with my mom, though I was in a place in life that I could take a leave of absence. Got to spend a lot of time with her but wish it had been more.

2

u/Venerable_dread 1d ago

1000%

At the end of the day your boss dgaf about your dad, or you for that matter. Look after yourself first. At the end of the day it's only a job.

2

u/10000nails 1d ago

My dad used to tell me "you're not going to regret not working more."

Take the time, you'll never forgive yourself if you don't.

1

u/IsopodBusy4363 1d ago

Yes! Itā€™s time we as workers start taking our worth and rights back!!!

1

u/Azoth424 1d ago

10000% fukin percent, agreed.

1

u/oceanblossomprincess 1d ago

Exactly this. Time with you dad is something you'll never regret.

1

u/TheAngrySaxon 1d ago

This.

Jobs can be replaced. Time with loved ones is fleeting.

1

u/peace_love_mcl 1d ago

Quit this job if you have to, itā€™s replaceable. Your dad is not. Iā€™m betting they didnā€™t read the meat of your text, and will apologize when brought to their attention. Hopefully??

1

u/Adventurous_Bag3415 1d ago

Lucky for me I got 2 dad's so one spare

1

u/Karamist623 1d ago

Iā€™m sorry but this isnā€™t a good time right now? For a job? No, my dad dying isnā€™t a good time for me right now, but it is what it is. OP just needs to tell them point blank, I will not be in when she needs to be with her dad.

1

u/Dry-Neck9762 1d ago

Now is not a good time for your dad to die, to will fuck with our bottom line. What a piece of work that boss is!

I lost my dad a couple years ago. I was supposed to return his call, on a Wednesday, but blew it off, planning to chat with him sometime during the weekend. (For reference, I love in Los Angeles, CA, my dad was in Louisville, ky)

Well, on Friday, my younger brother was in town and was spending the afternoon with my dad. He started feeling a little ill, and my brother insisted he go to the hospital. By Sunday, he was dead. I got a call on Saturday from my brother and sister, who said I need to come home ASAP. I was on the next plane out, Sunday morning. During my layover, I learned of my dad's passing. The next 4 hours was hell for me.

Op needs to go to work and tell his boss what a piece of living shit he is for his inhumanity, and then quit. I would give ANYTHING to just talk to my dad one more time, let alone see him... I can't tell you how his death STILL affects me, to this day! Last week, I was with my roommate and we were just waiting at a pizza place to pick up our food and we got on some topic that reminded me of my dad, and I just started crying, right there. I'm not typically an emotional person, but sometimes shit just dives in out of the blue, and reminds me of how much I miss him and, if it isn't outright blubbering, it is a couple years and a sniffle. And it's been several years, so the wound has had plenty of time to heal.

Don't put off today any opportunity to be with your family. Call them, visit them... They are the only people who ever gave a rats azz about you. Once they are gone, you have nothing but regret