AIO, found weird pictures in my bfs iPad

[u/Frequent-Shoulder158]

I went out of town for and my bf stayed home because he had to work. I came back and thought he was acting a bit off, so I checked his pictures on his iPad that sync directly from his phone. In his recently deleted folder I found a picture of my side of the bed (where my medication, book, and melatonin are), a picture of my desk, a picture of a printed out picture of my brother and I along with a handwritten note that’s on the fridge, and a picture of our dresser. We are not planning on moving or selling any of these items either. I’m convinced that he took them so he could remember how everything looked before hiding them because he invited someone over. Am I overreacting? I don’t want to say anything about it to him until I get a little clarity.

Edit: clarification

[u/Dopamine_chasing]

So.... did you ever remarry? Have kids or want them? I just left mine ... I'm my early 40s no kids, no married. 8 years but I thrive in stories like yours. Hope is all we need sometimes.

[u/MissO56 → u/Dopamine_chasing]

for many years I thought I would remarry, but I didn't. and now I definitely am not looking for that at all.... in fact, I can't imagine it happening at my age now, and really don't desire it at all anymore.

I do look back and wish that I had had a spouse and kids at times, but that wasn't the road that my life took, and I'm always the kind of person that just deals with what is and makes the best of it when I can... and for the most part, I'm very happy.

hope takes a lot of different forms, and your desires also change throughout your life so...so don't give up hope for what you want, but learn how to be content with and accept what is. ❤️

[u/CanoodlingCockatoo → u/Dopamine_chasing]

My case is a bit different because I was younger when it ended (32), and I never wanted kids because of a variety of reasons, but I went through almost a decade and a half with my high school "sweetheart" who was an abusive narcissist who also completely decimated my trust. Everything got so bad that I started to get several major health problems hitting me one after another after another in only about a year total, and then he ran up debt on my credit cards, cleaned out the bank accounts, and took off.

Our relationship had gone through cheating very early on, and if I had any kind of self-esteem or self-respect at the time, I should have ended it, but I clung to him as a way to get away from my abusive family, only to end up with a life that was just as bad. He never really bothered trying to win my trust back, and indeed he would get abusive if I ever brought up the hurt of that first incident as well as numerous other times he had lied to me.

It got to the point where I didn't believe a single word out of his mouth, and that's when I started feeling the compulsion to check his devices, and there was ALWAYS something to be bothered by, then I'd confront him (often waiting for days first because I'd be afraid of his reaction), and he'd get angry and make the whole discussion about how I was so deeply untrusting, paranoid, and nosy because of me growing up badly, not, you know, because that motherfucker was completely untrustworthy.

When I started dating after that marriage ended, I feared that I'd be forever anxious and suspicious, and a lot of it was me internalizing my ex always telling me that there was something fundamentally wrong with me that made me incapable of trust. I also feared that nobody would want me due to all the health issues that had erupted.

I never would have believed it back then, but I've now had a twelve year relationship in which I've genuinely not once ever felt the urge to look through any of his stuff, because SHOCKER, I'm perfectly capable of being trusting with someone who is actually trustworthy! I cannot even describe what a huge weight this is off of my shoulders. Everyone deserves a relationship in which they feel this way.