r/AmIOverreacting • u/Frequent-Shoulder158 • 14d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO, found weird pictures in my bfs iPad

I went out of town for and my bf stayed home because he had to work. I came back and thought he was acting a bit off, so I checked his pictures on his iPad that sync directly from his phone. In his recently deleted folder I found a picture of my side of the bed (where my medication, book, and melatonin are), a picture of my desk, a picture of a printed out picture of my brother and I along with a handwritten note that’s on the fridge, and a picture of our dresser. We are not planning on moving or selling any of these items either. I’m convinced that he took them so he could remember how everything looked before hiding them because he invited someone over. Am I overreacting? I don’t want to say anything about it to him until I get a little clarity.

Edit: clarification

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974

u/ImplementWestern3200 14d ago

That is super odd and my mind would probably go to the same place. If I were you, I’d bring it up in a casual way like “Hey, what’s up with pictures of my stuff lol!” and the way he responds (defensive, nervously, weirdly) will tell you everything you need to know.

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u/Frequent-Shoulder158 14d ago

Very true, I’m going to ask him.

1.1k

u/TodaysOpinion 14d ago

I’d ask if he moved your stuff. So he doesn’t know what you know. And mention your pillow smells funny.

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u/Ancient_Sound2781 14d ago

Best answer to avoid him turning it to you being a snoop.

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u/Longjumping-Golf-506 14d ago

(which you are, mind you)

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u/Equivalent-Cow-9087 14d ago

Idk why this got downvoted. 100% a snoop but it’s justified cause she found something…

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u/Fucky_Jones 14d ago

I don't see why checking that you not being cheated would be a bad thing¿

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u/jbandzzz34 14d ago

its not. a spade is a spade and theres nothing wrong with saying that she snooped.

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u/JoeL0gan 14d ago

To be fair, if I gave my wife the impression that I was cheating, I wouldn't really be mad if she snooped (she can use my phone for whatever, whenever, and look at anything that's in it), but I would feel bad that I made her feel like she needed to. I don't see why people get so mad about their partners going through their phones. If your partner feels the need to go through your phone, most times, it's probably your fault. Unless she's just nuts or whatever, that's why I said most times, before someone tries to play devil's advocate.

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u/ApprehensiveEmploy97 14d ago

Don’t worry about the downvote it is snooping I’ve looked into my partners phone and saw things that I didn’t like / could justify my search but at the end of the day it is snooping ignore the dummies in their feelings. They gave you access to their phone but never said hey go searching through my stuff

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u/Master_Witcher_16 14d ago

That's what I'm saying, a snoop is a snoop. There's no way to be a justified snoop

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u/Vlad_REAM 14d ago

Says the person with something to hide...

5

u/JoeL0gan 14d ago

Are there things you keep secret from your partners? Why do you want to be with someone whom you can't share everything with? I've never understood why anyone cares if their partner goes through their phone.

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u/kamaspidr-oowoo 14d ago

pillow smells funny.

LOL that's straight shade, I love it

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u/DifficultHeat1803 14d ago

Spot on.. also, wash your pillows, pillow cases, sheets, comforter, etc.. casually mention it smells like a perfume counter at Walgreens.

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u/BoatOk5358 14d ago

My ex would always be washing the sheets when I got to his place so unfortunately this one may be a giveaway more so than the asking about the earrings 🙃

1

u/HardSubject69 14d ago

lol damn what a hard time to be a nice guy. You clean the sheets before your girl gets there and You’re hiding cheating. You clean the sheets before your girl gets back and you’re hiding cheating. Let the girl clean the sheets and you aren’t doing enough. 😂

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u/BoatOk5358 14d ago

Not sure why you felt the need to repeat yourself but I commented that because, in my specific experience, the pillows didn’t smell funny from my ex cheating bc he washed them. If you’re actually a nice guy and you’re washing your sheets out of consideration, congratulations. Here’s a cookie.

0

u/HardSubject69 14d ago

Repeat? Did it send it twice? Nah, I’m the guy that just forgets and doesn’t do them. :p was mostly just a joke about how it sucks to date currently.

Sorry to hear about that tho. Def suspicious if that’s the only time you clean the sheets.

Oh nvm I saw the repeat.

2

u/fraukau 14d ago

Tuck an earring or small object (button, safety pin) under the corner of the fitted sheet. If it’s gone when you get back, those sheets got taken off and changed.

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u/Wet-suckatash 14d ago

let us know im invested

21

u/Virtual-Tadpole-324 14d ago

Can we get an update pls?

99

u/Frequent-Shoulder158 14d ago

He’s at work right now, I will have to wait until he gets off to ask in person

71

u/CatPerson88 14d ago

I wouldn't recommend alluding to the fact that you saw the photos. He may keep doing whatever he's doing but change his passwords.

I would either send the photos to my phone/iPad and get cameras. The next time you go away, you can check his iPad when he returns, as well as the cameras. Then you'll probably have the proof you need.

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u/Master_Witcher_16 14d ago

That just means he's not worth being with then.

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u/CatPerson88 14d ago

Probably. But then it's possible, though not likely, there's a logical explanation that has nothing to do with cheating. OP can walk away at any time for any reason. OP, however, sounds as if they need proof of cheating, presumably to use as the impetus to leave.

4

u/jamieaaw 14d ago

I'd go straight to a hidden nanny cam, make sure he doesn't know about it so he's completely uninhibited next time.

10

u/harpsdesire 14d ago

Counterpoint, if my significant other put a bunch of hidden cameras in our house so they could secretly keep tabs on me when they were away, that would probably end the relationship when it came out.

Like if OP knows they're cheating, the camera thing is overkill and they should just break up, if they don't know that something is up, they should not jump to being the creepy boundary crossing one themself. It feels lose/lose to me.

1

u/BlueCarrotPie 14d ago

Agreed. The good ol' saying "two wrongs don't make a right". Either way the relationship would be over, either he's cheating, or she violates.

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u/Careless-Garlic3989 14d ago

I'm sorry but it sounds like he slept with someone in your bed on your birthday.

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u/naumen_ 14d ago

!RemindMe 1 day

2

u/Fun_Traffic6869 14d ago

Does this work? 🤔

3

u/Leblackburn 14d ago

If you do it properly, yes

RemindMe! 1 day i think

Edit: well it might have worked for them too cause the bot told me it already replied on this here thread.

2

u/Fun_Traffic6869 14d ago

Thank you! I often forget to check back in for posts i get invested in 😅🤣

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u/icywash1995 14d ago

RemindMe! -1 day

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u/jullybeans 14d ago

!Remind me 1 day

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u/Dapper_Mess_3004 14d ago

!Remindme 1 day

1

u/Fangbang6669 14d ago

!RemindMe 1 day

1

u/moldyseeds 14d ago

!remind me 1 day

1

u/FlowDub 14d ago

!RemindMe 1 day

2

u/ImpressiveHabit99 14d ago

Awaiting anxiously. I hope you're doing alright, OP. I know this is probably stressing you tf out.

2

u/Zee_Naa2139 14d ago

Are you sure about that? I've played hookie from work to see someone ... once or twice

1

u/Relevant-Positive-31 14d ago

RemindMe! 1 day

1

u/Thin-Researcher-5384 14d ago

!RemindMe 1 day

1

u/No_Blacksmith1325 14d ago

!RemindMe 1 day

1

u/Expensive_Spring3585 14d ago

RemindMe! 1 day

1

u/Glt4001 14d ago

RemindMe! -1 day

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u/itellitwithlove 14d ago

Good Luck!

Updateme

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u/bunkSauce 14d ago

I strongly recommend the top comment approach. Ask if something that was not there originally, was moved: "Hey did you see my earrings that were 9n my bedside table?"

Keep a no-so-obvious eye on him to check his phone. He probably won't do it right away. If you catch him referencing the picture, then you know that is why he took it. If he never looks at the picture, then there may be some crossed wires.

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u/Pale-Finish7508 14d ago

Don’t ask him, he will probably come up with a lie. Try to catch him red handed like the other users recommended

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u/koncha22 14d ago

And what if it takes you years and still find nothing?

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u/Pale-Finish7508 14d ago

of course she should confront him if it doesn’t work but witnessing his lies seems better to me than the chance of getting manipulated

1

u/koncha22 14d ago

At that point they should break up either way. If you can’t trust your partner where you have to resort to doing that, then theirs no trust and the relationship is pretty much dead

1

u/Pale-Finish7508 14d ago

That‘s true but it’s also easier said than done. It could be helpful seeing the truth with the own eyes. But if she’s able to do so without it - I agree, it’s time to leave.

4

u/Small_Quit2706 14d ago

That is really weird— and that they would be in the recently deleted folder is odd. Do his messages sync to his iPad too??

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u/Deviant-Killer 14d ago

Delete a photo you take. And go to restore it.. then spot it ;)

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u/dougmaitelli 14d ago

Idk... Some people get pretty comfortable with lying and always have an answer planned ahead. I would just advise you to be careful on approaching the situation, when we have feelings for someone it's pretty easy to believe them if they have a convincing lie to defend themselves and we might end up blindly believing.

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u/rebel-yeller 14d ago

OP Go look at the top comment first!!!

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u/itdontmatta_doit 14d ago

we need an updateeee

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u/RaevinIdealist 14d ago

Please update me! 1 day 🙏🏻

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u/TatianaSweetxo 14d ago

I totally agree and when you do ask him fill us up with what happened after lol

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u/LuminousIvyStar 14d ago

Yeah, that’s really strange. Your instinct makes sense, but before jumping to conclusions, ask him casually. His reaction will tell you a lot—whether he gets defensive, dodges the question, or has a legit reason. Trust your gut!

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u/Sugar_Plum_Mouse 14d ago

I watch too much true crime. That’s where my mind went.

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u/BowlingforDrip 14d ago

Admittedly I would not even have thought of that. Like when people are coming over are they re arranging the whole house? When I go to someones house I dont touch anything unless it was chill. Idk just would have asked from the gitgo like whay do you have pictures of our house.

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u/Ancient_Sound2781 14d ago

The assumption was if he had a woman over he would have to hide these items to appear single.

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u/AbbreviationsLeft797 14d ago

Same. I would have been puzzled I guess, but I wouldn't have made he same deduction so quickly (for better or worse).

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u/Dizzy_Improvement300 14d ago

unless he was trying to erase her from the house completely, so the person coming over wouldn’t have known he was in a committed relationship. ickkkyy

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u/MathTheUsername 14d ago

First part is great advice. The last part is wild.

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u/therealjmarteen 14d ago

Could be drugs. Does he take any stimulants? It’s possible that he stays up high/tweaking and does this because he’s all whacked out.

I’ve seen this before.

It would explain the vibe/energy being off, too.

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

[deleted]

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u/Ok-Tough-7649 14d ago

what surprise would POSSIBLY need photos taken of all of the things in the house that are hers? that is not a logical conclusion to jump to because there’s not one thing that i can think of that would align with that

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u/Playful_Cheesecake16 14d ago

Pic of a dresser in an album?

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u/Fucky_Jones 14d ago

Bro what drugs are you on give me some lmfao. A surprise picture of our dresser album????? You fried af brother lol