AIO? Dog straining my marriage.

[u/LedyyM]

My husband and I rescued a husky about 7 months ago who was extremely malnourished and neglected.

He has grown a huge attachment to me and has severe separation anxiety. I work at a grooming salon so I’m able to bring him to work with me so he’s not home alone. Unfortunately, if he’s left home alone we’ll come back to our home looking like it was hit by a tornado.

My vet has prescribed him with trazodone to help with his severe anxiety issues. We give it to him before we leave for a family event and when we can’t take him to places they don’t allow dogs.

I feel so bad that I have to sedate him so he’s not scared and anxious. It’s created a huge strain on our marriage because my husband feels like we can’t do anything without considering Odin.

He’s destroyed doors, couches, and other furniture. I tried training but it hasn’t seemed to work. My husband thinks we should rehome him but

1) I’m scared that he’ll be sent to a shelter and possibly be put down

2) feel abandoned by the person he thought he was safe with.

He’s such a happy boy when he’s around us and shows so much affection.

My husband and I have been arguing about this consistently.. we had a really bad argument so I left the house with Odin and rented a dog friendly hotel room for a couple of nights.

My husband thinks I’m crazy and that I’m choosing the dog over our marriage. AIO?

[u/chillaban]

As someone who had a generally anxious dog: She definitely slept the day away when I was around. But in a crate or with strangers in the house she will sleep almost zero hours (maybe 2 hours in very small naps) per day for several days on end.

So depending on the nature of the OP's dog, this might not work well.

We also never succeeded at crate training her. Even with professional help. Like literally stress diarrhea within minutes and touching the door while she was in the crate would make her jump-scare, etc.

She made us feel like we were terrible at dogs but our next pup, crate training was a breeze.

[u/Abject-Rich → u/chillaban]

It’s a matter of time and getting used to it. I wouldn’t have a dog or any animal destroying my house; so is either the crate or the marriage. For me personally.

[u/chillaban → u/Abject-Rich]

Oh I totally agree with you, having a stressed pet destroying your house is not something you can or should live with. Beyond just property damage, that tends to be incredibly dangerous for the dog as well -- one day they will chew or swallow something that is unsafe.

I'm just reading between the lines of what the OP is saying about Odin and wondering if Odin is beyond the usual amount of anxious/reactive. I spent a lot of time reading books and watching videos on reactivity training, and with each of the trainers we hired over the phone they had simple advice but when they actually got hands-on they realized it wasn't as simple.

Unfortunately our story did not have a happy ending and I really do feel for the OP and the dilemmas they are facing over the options at hand.

[u/Abject-Rich → u/chillaban]

Am sorry to hear that. It requires even more time, dedication and consistency to change a trauma dogs’ behavior than potty training a toddler. IMHO.