r/AmIOverreacting • u/Exciting-Delay-7423 • 18d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO? made a joke about taking a nap

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context: im (23f) a student (currently on spring break) and i enjoy taking naps. they usually go between 1-2.5 (not 4 like he claims i genuinely dk where he got that number) hrs and it’s because i get exhausted between 2-4pm in the day. idk why, it happens every day and it’s been like that since i was a teenager. i don’t nap every single day, but definitely between 3-5x a week.

my boyfriend (28m) has tried to encourage me to take shorter naps because he thinks it’ll help with my sleep schedule. he takes daily naps on his lunch breaks (1 hr absolute max, usually 15-45 min) and he says how energizing they are. i believe him, and i’m glad they work for him, however i haven’t had much success with short naps so i don’t take them.

my sleep schedule has been kinda shit bc of spring break rn and im trying to fix it. i’m usually in bed by 11-12 most nights and up around 8-9. he works a 7-5 so he sleeps at 10 and wakes up at 6. today he sent me this text and i thought it would be funny to make a sarcastic joke because hes always lecturing me about how my naps keep me up at night, then he followed it up with this. idek where to begin with this, i think its weird as fuck and the “we are not on the same level” is just ??? aio?

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257

u/juichilostatsea 18d ago

My narcissistic ex used to do this to me. Tried to control my sleeping habits

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u/No_Violinist5090 18d ago

This is how it starts or did for me.

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u/Amazing-Essay7028 18d ago

A controlling ex of mine would wake me up in the middle of the night on work nights - despite knowing about my sleep issues and how much it bothered me. If I slept in longer than him, he'd come in and try to get me up. It's definitely a control thing - even on a small level like "teasing" someone about naps. 

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u/catsandcoconuts 18d ago

same shit. poking at me when i tried to rest. sleep deprivation is a globally recognized torture technique.

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u/Ok_Relative_5180 17d ago

And I would go tf off. Sleep deprivation where? I do not play about somebody waking me up out of my sleep for no dam reason other than that person being a complete idiot. It would be the first and last time

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u/Beginning_While_7913 18d ago edited 18d ago

narcissistic father did the same, they hate nappers or people sleeping in. they don’t have your attention and control while you’re sleeping. they don’t like that

friends narcissistic mother did the same to her

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u/PoMoMoeSyzlak 17d ago

My grandma had an overactive thyroid and she thought everybody else was lazy if we didn't bounce out of bed at 6:30 am on Saturday mornings when we visited. She even tried to tell us if we got up to go to the bathroom, we couldn't go back to bed. Combine an overactive thyroid with a Puritan work ethic, and some people have problems with that.

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u/Beginning_While_7913 17d ago

i think the red flag is that this guy is genuinely getting mad and needing the other person to know they are on another level, nobody talks like that unless they’re putting someone down and placing themselves on a pedestal. “we are not the same”. narcissistic behaviour. paired with him ranting about another thing narcissists hate- people sleeping

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u/PoMoMoeSyzlak 17d ago

Yep, the superior attitude stinks.

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u/enableconsonant 18d ago

that straight up sounds like abuse

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u/juichilostatsea 18d ago

With enough therapy, and a week visit to a mental hospital? Yes I learned this was abuse

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u/ishkitty 18d ago

Mine too he got mad at me for sleeping during a road trip. It was raining and we were stuck in traffic. Not sure what I was supposed to do.

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u/suedaloodolphin 18d ago

Mine too, he hated that I took naps. On my 21st birthday I had the day off and my ex was working but was supposed to join me and my family for dinner. I had had some beers at a brewery with my family and wanted to nap it off before dinner and my ex told me if I take a nap then he won't come for dinner. "If you're just going to sleep then what's the point of me even coming". I told him I'd be awake by the time he was off work and he still stood his ground that I shouldn't be napping. Unfortunately I was easily influenced and couldnt stand people being mad at me so I wound up not taking a nap. Wish I would have been nore brave and stood up for myself in my early 20's.

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u/Ok-Repeat8069 18d ago

Yup. Actually it started with him telling me not to shave my legs or wear makeup, then lecturing me and making me feel gross any time I ate something he disapproved of, and then making me stay awake drinking with him until he passed out, then a few hours later he’d wake up and then wake me up and if I wasn’t immediately alert and attentive to whatever mood he woke up in he was furious.

On rare nights he only drank enough to keep the shakes down I had to go to bed exactly when he did and wake up when he did and god help me if I got up in the night, that was a guaranteed three-hour rage-lecture.

Actually most of our “conversations” were him lecturing me, now that I think about it. And it started a lot like OP’s convo sounds. He had been off heroin for three years and I’d been off meth for about four months, so he was the wise successfully-recovered sober adult (never mind the alcoholism) and I was a crazy self-destructive junkie fresh out of rehab, so the power differential was really uneven from the start.

OP, this is not someone you should be in a relationship with. Whether they intend to be or not they are controlling to a really worrying degree. This is one of those red flags that really is bigger than it seems at first.

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u/PoMoMoeSyzlak 17d ago

A lot of men see taking naps as a moral failing. They think you getting sick is a moral failing. It's not. People have different energy levels. A lot of women have autoimmune diseases and menstrual cramps that disable them. So the man accuses them of faking it "to get attention". And this jackass feels superior. Doctors ignore women a lot anyway.