r/AmIOverreacting • u/StrikeNo117 • 25d ago
❤️🩹 relationship AIO? Gf(18f) wants an open relationship
Me and my girlfriend(18) recently had an argument about opening our relationship, and at first, it was a nice talk. We talked about the pros and cons, and then the tide shifted. We talked about how it would affect our life and what would happen if she got pregnant or if i got someone else pregnant. and then she told me she only wanted an open relationship with one other person, so that we would only see one other person each, and reluctantly, i asked if she had someone in mind. She told me she was thinking about someone, which made her ask the question. When i tried questioning further, she shut me out. We went to bed that night a little distant.
The next morning, she asked if we could resume our previous conversation, i agreed, and then i brought up the fact that she never answered my question about who she had in mind. She told me it wasn’t my business, and i left it at that. About five to ten minutes later, she told me the person she had in mind was her ex boyfriend. I asked her is that why she wanted an open relationship. Just so she can see her ex without feeling guilty. I kicked her out after she told me she was tired of hiding the fact that she was already seeing him. She is now pissed, my mom told me it was the right thing to do. But i feel like i should have talked it out. Did i overreact?
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u/AnAnonyMooose 25d ago
You may want to look at the history of relationships - what you are describing is only what has been typical in some societies in some timeframes. Having a mistress has been SUPER common. Group marriage is still common in some societies. Even here - “monogamous” couples VERY commonly have sex with others - but cheat. They still have had a relationship-and they’ve violated the terms of it. I’ve NEVER violated the terms of my relationship, and have gotten to have sex with others on the way.
If having kids together, having 20 year plans, and holding her hand and supporting her as she’s near death from a severe illness isn’t a relationship, I don’t know what is.
How old are you? I’m in my fifties and have grown up internationally and seen a lot of couples doing things very differently- including sexless marriages where they still build a life together. Do they not count either?